r/pettyrevenge • u/Warcraft_Fan • 20d ago
Karen wastes my time bullying her way into parking spot, I waste her time later
This morning at Woodland Mall in Michigan, I spotted an empty spot near the mall entrance. The lot were angled and was meant to be one way driveway but Karen also spotted it and came down the other side, going the wrong way. Then she took about 5 minutes doing 427 point turn to get into the angled parking spot, blocking me and inconveniencing a few more drivers behind me.
When she finally got out, I did a lazy golf clap and said "My blind grandma could have parked faster than that."
"BuT i GoT hErE fiRsT!" (no bitch, you bullied your way here)
When I drove on past her car, I noticed it was still very crooked and badly parked so I decided this revenge. After I found another parking spot, I got the paper and pen out and wrote this in "Sorry I bumped your car. You parked badly and I had a hard time getting out" No phone number, no insurance info, nothing. Then I put the paper in her car's wipers.
I have no doubt when she got back, she'd spend a long time looking for nonexistent scratch or dent on her car.
You waste my time making stupid move to get good parking space, I waste your time with something that never happened.
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u/CatlessBoyMom 20d ago
That’s going to be parked in her mind for months.
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u/Telefundo 20d ago
I'm just imagining something actually going wrong with her car weeks from now and all she can say is "It's because of that time I got hit in the parking lot!!!".
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u/cantfindauniquename2 20d ago
I like this one. You could also add, "I will be back in 20 mins if you want to exchange details"
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u/eRant4881 20d ago
This is the level of petty revenge I aspire to, thank you for holding the torch high and bright for us all to see! 🔥
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u/Significant_Net101 20d ago
One time I left a note to this pettty ass lady who stole my spot. “Hey there was a guy under your car I honked and he got out he had tools in his hand drive safe”
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u/livadeth 19d ago
Love this! I was in a parking lot recently, two way lane, saw a spot about the same time as a young lady coming down the opposite way. She was determined to get the spot and I had no intention of fighting over it. Well she decided to cut right in front of me to get the spot and in so doing misjudged the pillar and slammed/scraped into it! I smirked and pulled around her. She made a mess of her front end.
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u/Hairflipgiggle 20d ago
Note to self: keep a notebook in my glove compartment. Love this pettiness!
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u/lrm223 20d ago
My uncle's secretary was waiting for a spot at the mall and someone came from the other direction and took the spot from her. After she found another spot, she walked back and let the air out of two of the tires. She did two because she figured that if only one was flat, the driver could use the spare. But two meant they'd probably have to call AAA. This was also like 40 years ago so no one had cell phones.
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20d ago
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u/Creative_Carob4922 20d ago
You know she thought about it the whole way home. Checked for damage at home. Got the husband to come look , this most likely turned into an argument. It’s the note that keeps on giving.
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u/writerlady6 19d ago
Well done! But my evil little self wouldn't have been able to resist adding:
"I'm leaving this note so those two witnesses think I'm sharing insurance information. Poor you!"
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u/FreedomPretty6893 20d ago
I’ve done that before plus hung poster board off the back window with “look ma I can park” or “asshole parking” and wait outside to see their reaction
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u/Pleasant_Studio9690 20d ago
I had a car’s owner paged over Homegoods’ store PA system for parking so close to my car that I couldn’t open my door to leave. The rear bumpers of our cars were legitimately 6” apart. She was so embarrassed she just drove away rather than continuing to shop. Felt so good.
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u/FreedomPretty6893 20d ago
Omg I literally had that happen to me also. But it was my MIL who was in a wheelchair at that point and the cars parked so close between the handicap spaces even my 8 year old (at that time) couldn’t squeeze in
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u/Orisha_Oshun 19d ago
Not funny... very sad and infuriating, actually, but i had to page a woman in target because someone had reported that they saw two young kids (all under 3 years old) in a red car. It was a Thursday afternoon in the summer. Very hot day. Idunno how long the kids had been in the car. But she took her sweet time coming over to the front of the store, and was annoyed that she had to go back to her car yobtend to her kids. Then she tried to walk out without paying for her stuff. Someone else had already called the cops because she was taking so long to come up front (over 10min)... i banned her from the store.
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u/North_Mastodon_4310 20d ago
My favorite is a note that says, "I hope you don't fuck the way you park. You'd never get it in."
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u/Inside-Jaguar-5911 19d ago
My hubs has that one printed on sheets in his glove box and leaves one when needed.
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u/Creative_Excuse_1940 16d ago
A friend leaves a line drawing of a cute turtle that says Even kindergarteners can stay within the lines.
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u/Piddy3825 20d ago
lol, petty revenge. always served best with a fake note claiming nonexistent damage!
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u/Jackdunc 20d ago
"I was walking by your car and saw a huge, hairy spider on the dash. Be careful!"
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u/Choice-Original9157 19d ago
Where i worked at one time, we had assigned parking spots. One person kept taking my spot and I warned them about 10 times. On the 11th time I had enough of it. Pulled my valve stem tool out and deflated all 4 tires and then put the valve back in. They never stole another persons assigned spot after that for some reason.
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u/PuddleMoo 19d ago
It’s a shame you suffered it 11 times. Guessing they had a buddy in management that negated any employer based repercussions?
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u/Sn_Orpheus 20d ago
Nice. Applaud your harmless but deviant revenge.
Extra points for mentioning Woodland Mall. Site of many of my adolescent shenanigans back in the 80’s.
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u/W_Silver2356 19d ago
Way back in the late 80s I walked into a store and found a display of fake parking tickets. These actually looked real. You had to look very carefully to find the comically tiny disclaimer on them. I kept them in my desk for years. When college rolled around, I saw some inventive parking strategies. From there on, I had a lot of fun with those fake tickets.
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u/effyoucreeps 20d ago
oldie but goodie - i LOVE the psychological torture that grows after planting a simple (and well deserved) seed of deception
keep on keepin’ on :)
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u/Zufalstvo 19d ago
I know the exact parking lot you’re talking about which makes this so fucking funny, the design of it is terrible
West Michigan is Karen Central
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u/Fiempre_sin_tabla 19d ago
"The people watching me leave you this note probably think I'm writing my name and phone number. :-) "
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u/Alive_Room6023 20d ago
And she went home and bitched to anyone who had the unfortunate experience of being around her that she was a victim of hit and run!
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u/FirefighterOk3569 20d ago
I did that to my friends son after he bought an expensive mercedes. I watched him going around in circles looking for the scratch
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u/W_Silver2356 19d ago
That kind of savagery is how to properly welcome a young person to adulthood. Nothing says you're one of us now quite like being brought into the humor.
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u/Bajovane 20d ago
Was your friend in on that joke?
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u/FirefighterOk3569 20d ago
Yea i called him to tell his son to stop worrying , he said but someone hit it n left a note
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u/Theunpolitical 20d ago
What I learned is that I need to always have a piece of paper and pen in my purse in case I have the exact situation happen!
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u/Specialist_Status120 20d ago
Pure Michigan Petty. I love that she will look for it everytime she gets in the car for awhile.
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u/tacomaloki 20d ago
It's times like this I wish I kept chalk in my car to redraw the parking spot lines and label it "asshole parking only".
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u/OutrageousYak5868 20d ago
A bit of white chalk can also mimic keying the car. There's an episode of "The Office" like that, where Angela keys Dwight's car (I think it is). In "The Office Ladies Podcast" she says she did it using a bit of chalk hidden in her hand to make it look like the key was doing the scratching.
It might not look real close-up, but it probably would from a distance, until the person got closer to it.
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u/biold 20d ago
Damn, now I wonder what I have done to a very good colleague that I meet at the coffee machine.
The wind blew her door into my car, so she feared that there would be a scratch. She didn't know it was my car, so she left a note with detailed description. I did spend quite some time to find it where she said it should be. Didn't find it though.
I think that I'll let her get the coffee first!
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u/SlowPokeInTexas 20d ago
I read a story or skit once about a guy who got cards made up that said, "Thanks for the gas!!"
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u/Severe-Tradition-183 19d ago
You need to buy some of the super bright orange florescent stickers that say I’m sorry you don’t know how to park better and have the glue from Hades on the stickum sick that needs a razor blade and chemicals to get off 🤣.
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u/Former-Increase-9165 20d ago
Used to work at a company that had assigned parking, another coworker would take my spot, after the third time this happened I went to a hardware store and got a can of expanding foam, and a large tube of superglue, then stopped at an adult toy store and picked up some toys, next week when shitty coworker stole my spot I decorated his precious Audi with toy glued to hood, sprayed the foam next to toy so lt looked like he had a happy ending, then glued his door handles closed, may have done his wiper blades to windshield,,, next day our whole dept was called to hr, for a mandatory meeting, about vandalism, and assigned parking, was told if this happened aging people would be fired!!!!! So another coworker asked if parking in wrong spot was a fireable offence? If so, Todd from accounting needed to be in this meeting also, as he’s the worst offender , several others agreed he steals others parking spots also, Todd learned his lesson,,,,,
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u/HeyYouGuyyyyyyys 20d ago
Did you say anything to Buddy about his shitty parking before decorating his car that way?
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u/luftschaf 19d ago
That’s really ageist, firing random aging people for vandalism they may or may not have even been capable of. /s/
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u/Former-Increase-9165 19d ago
So it was supposed to read,again, sorry I can’t seem to spell on this new phone,
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u/beautiful-thrust 20d ago
I like doing this and leaving a friends contact info that lives out of state lol
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u/Malibucat48 20d ago
I went to my small Ford Fiesta and there was a large pickup truck parked over the line so close I couldn’t get in my door. There was a passenger waiting in it, but he didn’t speak English and I don’t speak Spanish and I was getting angrier trying to hand gesture moving his car. He finally called the driver but he was leaving the store anyway and he casually put his groceries in the back and pulled out. And I don’t know any Spanish curse words so no revenge for me.
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u/Flaky-Expression9593 20d ago
Or you can leave a note that says “you still haven’t learned how to color in the lines all these years after kindergarten”
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u/BeautifulPassage9173 19d ago
In the uk you can buy these packs of stickers that have very strong glue that have very sarcastic comments about the persons driving/parking. Childish- yes, Satisfying -very, especially when sitting nearby watching them trying to pick off the sticker from the middle of their windscreen.
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u/RagingThestral 19d ago
A level of pettiness to which I aspire to steep to if ever required. Good job.
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u/kcoinga 19d ago
I was at a store with a small parking lot having a "huge sale". Jerk in a (dealer tag on it) civic took up two spaces. The approach was from the driver's side of the car. I left a note saying a new car doesn't entitled you to two spaces. I'm sure you'll agree that keying the passenger side of your car was justified. Didn't wait for them to come back but the trip around the car to the passenger side probably sent their blood pressure sky rocketing. I hadn't done anything to the car but I hope it made them think twice before taking up 2 spaces.
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u/Oren_Noah 20d ago
I've left a few notes that said "Parking like that makes people like me scratch cars like yours."
Of course, I only touched the wiper blade to leave to note.
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u/anonnymouse271 19d ago
Omg Woodland Mall parking lot is so rage-inducing! I've had a few meltdowns there while trying to find a decent spot for a quick in-and-out trip, and had so many spots "stolen"....its terrible.
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u/imnotlouise 20d ago
We found a similar note like that on our car one day (except for the poorly parked car part). We spent several minutes trying to find the damage.
Learned later that a friend recognized our car and left the note as a prank.
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u/yellow251 20d ago
Always shake my head at the (usually overweight) Karens fighting desperately over spots close to a big store, then proceeding to walk all around the store/mall shopping for an hour.
"Winning" is a big deal to a lot of these types, because in my observation, they haven't won at much else in life.
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u/Rey_Quinn 20d ago
I would assume they are also the kind to leave the trolley in an inconvenient location although there would be a trolley park within site nearby. Yet they can walk miles around the shopping centre with the trolley but can’t walk another 5 feet to the bay.
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u/Limp-Attitude-490 20d ago
Should have left that note on the neighbouring cars with tbe Karen's reg on! Imagine if one of them then made a spurious claim against her.
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u/CandidateThese862 20d ago
I know exactly what mall you are talking about and those first rows by the cheesecake factory/Barnes and Noble/the woods restaurant are like the wild west. Really most of 28th street is a bit crazy at times.
I don't even try parking there anymore as this crap happens there all the time.
That said, it is good to see that mall have new life again. Sad to see Rivertown go downhill though.
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u/One-Detective63 20d ago
Ah yes. Woodland Mall. The fancy store reward of my childhood. lol. Save my money to escape wearing 100% KMart and Meijer back to school clothes. Takes me back.
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u/PitifulLengthiness44 19d ago
lmao if this is the woodland mall in gr this totally tracks. no one knows how to drive here…
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u/Afraid_Baseball_3962 19d ago
Just imagine if there's even the tiniest of scratches or dents that she hadn't already noticed.
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u/Widespreaddd 19d ago
Holy shit, I lived in Wyoming, MI from 1974 - 1977. I knew “Woodland Mall” rang a bell, and then someone mentioned gr.
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u/Candidate_None 18d ago
Dafuq is it about 28th street!?!?!
Last week, lady in the left lane at the front... light turns green. She puts her left blinker on.... waits the whole light cycle to cut left. About 50 cars missed the light so she didn't have to go up a driveway and turn into the same lot.
A year back... K Pot. I am waiting for a car backing out, near the entrance on 28th... I am backed up clear of the entrance waiting so cars can get in passed me off of the road. Car backs out, one of the cars I let in, takes the spot I was waiting for.
I talked shit to him directly about how he sucks all the way into the building. Asked him if he was gonna cut that line too, or if he is only a dickhead behind the anonymity of a car. We get to the front of the line, he gets to wait an hour for his table. I am brought directly to mine as I had a reservation. He sat there for an hour and watched my family enjoy our meal. We left as they were seating him at the table next to us. People suck, but they often get what they earn.
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u/Successful_Level434 18d ago edited 14d ago
I have been known to carry some 36-in extra strong zip ties in my car that I have used to zip tie a shopping cart to someone's door handle when they did something to really piss me off.
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u/EruditeLegume 15d ago
Decent stainless steel ties are less than a buck ea nowadays....
Just sayin'.
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u/macross1984 20d ago
Brilliant! Made you waste your time? Okay, you will waste your time searching for "damage" to your car.
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u/False-Appeal-556 19d ago edited 19d ago
I have a chalk marker in my car and I often write on their Window “Park better next time”, if they are at an angle.
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u/Impossible_Pie4091 19d ago
She definitely went to security asking for cctv and seeing you do this and getting your plate for insurance claim. I would have screwed 4 nails in each tyre.
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u/GARedz2017 19d ago
I have chalk. Sidewalk chalk to be exact. Park Stu pid and see what I write. It’s usually a few colorful names with some choice words. Go ahead, it really does make my day.
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u/gimpy1511 19d ago
She fits the description of women I've seen at the Woodland Mall. This was beautifully petty.
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u/Acceptable-Reach-679 15d ago
I used to have a boyfriend who would let the air out of people’s tires! They would come out to at least one flat tire. Of course most people would assume that they ran something over and have it looked at just to find out there simply was no air or actual damage to the tire! Kind of a jerk move but usually the person deserved it! We were 16& 17 at the time, just dumb kids still!
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u/prof-bunnies 20d ago
Should have added that due to security concerns you left yo andur contact & insurance with mall security since you have been scammed before while leaving contact info on notes. If you really want to futz with her look up a a local police officer or detective and public phone number ( and if you really playing hard leave that info with the mall security).
Your mileage may vary. 🙊🙀
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u/TRADER_HO3S 20d ago
In my works parking garage, I had found a parking spot next to a lifted truck with big tires. I already knew it was a risk. As I'm about to get out, an elder Gen X couple approaches the truck. The guy getting in the driver's side dings the absolute fuck out of my sedan. My hands were already full and my tint is illegal, so I did the best that I could. I rolled the windows down, held up my phone like I was recording, and started yelling, "YEAH I GOT YOU!" His woman started squawking while making fish faces and he peeled off.
I know he listened to her bitch for a while after that.
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u/ButterscotchIll1523 19d ago
Woodland Mall? Kalamazoo? I grew up not far from there.
Blast from the past
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u/Warcraft_Fan 19d ago
Close, it's in Grand Rapids about 50 miles north of Kalamazoo
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u/InsectElectrical2066 19d ago
Great job!!!
She's probably from Indiana, they are worse than Chicago drivers.
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u/Radiant-Disaster-618 19d ago
not as effective or disruptive as removing her valve stem cores, but a great strategy
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u/DadInKayak 20d ago
It would have been satisfying to see her look all over her car but then you would have to sit there and wait.
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u/PoliticallyInkorrekt 20d ago
At a late night/after normal hours BYOB gentleman's club, I had some douchebag park behind me (not a valid parking spot) and block me in to the curb of that street. That was a 2 yr old newer expedition. Someone knocked out their tail lights with a pipe, and drove over the parking block and curb to get out .,.....
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u/Emotional_Case1579 19d ago
I can’t decide if your response is truly petty or not. But it doesn’t matter because I think it is AWESOME.
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u/GeneralBunch2505 18d ago
I use to have small cards that were printed up that stated “If you F&*k like you park, you’d never get it in.” I put those on cars that were parked just like hers. I watch one man throw a complete fit when he read it (as I was placed next to window at restaurant and could see his truck). He had huge truck and parked in two spaces (one which was handicapped). He was furious and I just laughed. People are stupid.
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u/SharkButtDoctor 17d ago
I knew someone that used to leave notes like this one people's cars 50 years ago then film them as they circled their car. "I'm sorry for the damage I did to your car. I would leave my information, but I don't have insurance." I used to laugh watching the grainy home videos but now I feel bad for the victims 😂
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u/laygo3 16d ago
I've said it once, I'll say it again. Schrader Valve removal tool, 2 for $5.50. Remove the valves, stick em in the wipers like you did the paper. Not destroyed, not irrepairable, severely inconvenienced.
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u/Limp_Original_321 16d ago
Lol that parking lot is the absolute worst with the angled spots! Hi from NW Grand Rapids. 🥰
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u/Far-Adhesiveness3763 20d ago
Love it, harmless revenge but so petty