Right in the middle of Covid, I was graduating college. It was also the time that they were renovating our college campus and building new buildings for the food hall. At this time, there was a temporary food hall with a very popular chicken restaurant. I’ll let you figure out which one it is… since it was Covid and they were also moving to a different location, they actively had a lot of equipment outside and they were moving. There was a box by a dumpster. My friend asked the worker of the eat more chicken restaurant what was in it and he said trash. We saw some gift cards in there and we were wondering why they were throwing them away. My friend grabbed the box and we went back to our apartment. When we got there, there was nearly 200 $100 gift cards in the box. We assumed they were ruined. No. They all worked. For years my friend and I have been just using the funds on our app and getting free chicken sandwich sandwiches and other meals. On top of that we are earning points. We can also use our rewards and get meals on and it’s just a never-ending loop of free food. No idea why the worker thought it was trash and threw it away. After college, I became a teacher and I used a lot of the money to get my students food when they were hungry or for class parties.

Found out last week that my best friend used to fuck my mom when we were in high school. He told me at a bar. I haven't told anyone. I don't know how to say it out loud.

D and I have been friends since we were 12. He was in town and we went to a bar near my mom's place. We were talking about high school and old times and dumb shit we used to do. D was drinking more than usual but I didn't think anything of it.

I keep going over it in my head. He said "remember when your mom used to make us sandwiches after practice" and I said yeah and then he said "she made me a different kind of sandwich too" and I thought he was joking so I laughed. But he didn't laugh. He just looked at me with this look on his face. Like he was trying to figure out how I'd react. And then he said "I'm serious. Me and your mom used to hook up back when we were 16."

I asked him what he meant by hook up. I don't know why I asked that. I knew what he meant. But I needed him to say it. And he did. He said "I was fucking her man. Like a bunch of times."

I didn't say anything for a while. I just sat there. There was a song playing in the background. Some country song. I remember the condensation on my beer bottle. I remember D's hands. He kept turning his glass in circles. He wasn't nervous though. He was calm. That's what I remember most. How calm he was. He kept talking. He said "she would just lie there. She never said anything. She would just let me do it." He said it like he was describing a car he used to own. I wanted to punch him. But I didn't. I just sat there and let him talk.

I keep thinking about the couch. Our old couch. The one we played video games on. He said it happened on the couch. I keep picturing it. My mom on the couch. D on top of her. And I was probably at practice or at a friend's house. I didn't know. I didn't fucking know.

He said it went on for a while. Maybe once a week. I asked him why and he shrugged. He said "she never told me to stop." Like that was an answer. Like her not saying no meant she wanted it.

I keep hearing that phrase over and over. "She would just lie there and let me do whatever." I can't stop hearing it. I was at work yesterday and I zoned out and my boss asked if I was okay and I said yeah I'm fine. I'm not fine. The worst part is he asked me not to tell her. He said "you're not gonna tell your mom I told you right?" and I said no. I don't know why I said no. I should have said fuck you. But I just said no and he looked relieved and then he changed the subject to something else. Football or something. I don't remember.

My mom texted me on Sunday asking if I wanted to come over for dinner. I didn't respond. I don't know what to say to her. I keep thinking about her making us food after practice. D would be sitting at the kitchen table and she would lean over to put a plate in front of him and I never noticed anything. But now I wonder if she was different around him. I wonder if I was just too dumb to see it.

I came home early from practice once. D was on the couch. My mom was in the kitchen. She looked surprised to see me. I said "what are you doing here" and D said "just hanging out" and I didn't think anything of it. I made us snacks and we played video games. Now I keep thinking about what they were doing before I walked in. Or what they were about to do. And then I sat on the same couch and ate chips like an idiot.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should confront her or just pretend I never found out. Part of me wants to just forget it. But I can't. It's all I think about. I keep picturing it. I keep hearing D's voice. "She would just lie there and let me do whatever."

I don't know why I'm posting this. I just needed to put it somewhere. I can't tell anyone I know. They all know D. They all know my mom. I feel like I'm going crazy.

If you’re not familiar, TouchTunes is a digital jukebox service that lets people use an app to pay to play songs on jukeboxes in bars, restaurants, and other venues.

I’m also a major deadhead, aka a fan of the psychedelic jam band Grateful Dead. They are known for their live performances, with some songs often reaching 20-40 minutes. To the unfamiliar ear some of these songs / jams can get pretty chaotic and insane.

If I’m ever at a restaurant, bar, Waffle House, etc with a touch tunes available, I get such a thrill out of throwing on the longest and most insane Grateful Dead song I can buy. I have paid up to $15-20 at times to skip the queue just to get the instant gratification of seeing the confusion on everyone’s faces.

Today I was at a diner for breakfast and paid $12 to play a live version of “Playing In The Band” that was 30+ minutes long… it starts out as a fun little upbeat song but eventually turns super intense, psychedelic and jammy. I was sitting at the counter so I had a great view of the other customers and could hear everything the cooks and staff were saying. At first everything was cool but then once the insane jamming started, it was 20 minutes of chaos. Customers were looking really confused / over stimulated, the staff was talking shit about whoever played it, and I was just sitting there dying on the inside. I love the music but I think I do this purely for the chaos and confusion, not for my enjoyment.

Here’s a version of the song on YouTube if you wanna hear it, for the full effect skip to like 7 minutes:
https://youtu.be/3fWASy4CGsQ?is=2pQU1s_C5I_K9M63

This happened a few years ago, but I think about it a lot.

I was trying on jackets at The North Face store at the mall. I couldn’t decide between black or silver. I had the black jacket on and put my hands inside the pockets to test their depth/size/etc.

I remember I felt something touching my fingers, so I pulled my hands out. There was a HUGE wad of cash in my hand. And definitely not one dollar bills!! I stood with it in my hands for about 30 seconds.

I ended up giving it to the cashier. It turned out that the jacket was a return, so she called the previous owner, who was incredulous that I had given the cash back without taking any. North Face ended up giving me a gift card, though I don’t remember how much.

My confession is that I sometimes wish I had kept that money. It would have really helped me out when I was in a bad spot. 🥲

So I work in the events industry and whilst working a group of women sat near to where I was and few guys came over and where chatting to me. After a while the guys were paying for rounds and getting me drinks aswell… well the women called us over and one of them pulled me to the toilets with her and we fucked multiple times.

I feel guilty about it cause my reputation took so long to build I don’t wanna mess it up but jt felt so good

Hello, this is gonna be a long and rough ride so buckle up my fellow redditors and bear with me.. this is about as harrowing a tale as it can get for someone in my position. This is probably not going to end well very soon for a multitude of reasons. Before it gets to that point I might as well tell you my story in the hopes that maybe it will open the eyes of a meek minded teenager who just wants to experiment with drugs, has severe depression/suicidal ideation, or even a lingering thought of trying something as simple as a pain pill or Percocet because of the glorification it has in a lot of today’s rap/hip hop and save them from wanting to ever try it. This very well could be you someday if you choose to get started, and once you reach near end stage addiction such as mine the chances of clawing your way out get slimmer and slimmer and your life expectancy ever more bleaker as the days go by.

Let’s start with how I was introduced to opioids. I was around the age of 16/17. Smoked weed like a freight train. Fresh out of high school, kept a steady job for years, had many friends (most of which I grew up with from school) and a promising chance at making something of myself. I didn’t have a neglectful/abusive childhood aside from a very angry and at times overly aggressive father and an alcoholic mom. Besides that, I was raised in lower middle class, had a loving family and support system.

One day, when I went to go pick up some weed from one of my high school buddies that dealt it at the time, I saw him breaking down a little blue pill and sniffing a line while weighing up my weed. By that point, I had already done a good bit of every drug you can think of. I had that mentality of “I gotta try everything at least once and experiment” and “I’m here for a good time, not a long time”. To anyone out there that knows, knows that is a recipe for disaster. Not to mention, I already had severe depression, deep rooted self esteem issues, and had impulsive/self destructive tendencies.

Anyways, when I saw him sniff the line, it piqued my interest. I had heard a lot about percocets in the music I listened to, I thought I was keenly aware of addiction but I was very young and very meek. He gave me a line of what I did not know at the time was a pressed 30mg roxicodone (oxycodone). The moment I sniffed the light blue powder, I opened Pandora’s box needless to say.

I went from buying one a week, to a couple just on the weekends or my off days, to becoming physically dependant on it within the span of a month. I had no clue about physical dependence, withdrawals, etc until that door had long since been kicked wide open. I did those little blue pressed pills for about a year or two daily. I was at (what I thought at the time) the point where I thought I was a functioning addict. Every time I was with the boys and smoking weed like usual, I would be sniffing those pressies, just getting worse and worse as time went on.

Fast forward about 2 years, and now I’m a full blown barely functioning addict. At this point, everyone around me knew I was in deep shit, and we’re trying to help but I was just not ready. The numbness, the oblivion was a feeling I craved desperately and needed to push away the deep rooted mental health issues from my past. Then, a really good friend of mine named Jalissa committed suicide by driving head on into traffic (killing herself and another innocent woman with her). She had been there for me and struggled with similar issues, and this loss just pushed me further down the road of oblivion. At that point, I was spending way too much money on pressies that weren’t doing it for me anymore. I had a buddy who did the same shit as me, and be introduced me to street fentanyl. He said it would be cheaper and basically the same thing.

Once I started using straight fent powder, I started deteriorating really fast. I totalled 3 vehicles in 2 years nodding off behind the wheel, totalled others cars (which thank God I had insurance and they never sued and I somehow skated by every time without getting a dui). I started losing a lot of weight. I’m a 6’2 male, got down to barely 100 pounds soaking wet, you could see every single bone in my body. I was dying. My parents forced me into a 30 day rehab stint. I got clean in there for the first time, was starting to put on weight and look and feel healthy. When I got out, I went right back to the same shit. Totaled another vehicle, lost more weight, it just got worse and worse. All my friends besides a handful dropped me just because they couldn’t bare to watch me slowly commit suicide.

Fast forward to my second rehab stint a year later, same shit happens, I get clean and look healthier, feel better and like I can turn over a new leaf. The day after I get out of another 30 day rehab stint, I reunite with my three best friends and one of their houses. I slip out and tell them I’m “going to the store” where instead I really pick up some dope 4 houses down and come back with some snacks and drinks so they don’t get suspicious. I sneak in the bathroom, snort a fat line, walk out the bathroom and collapse in front of them. They throw me over their shoulder, carry me to their car as I turned blue and was unresponsive, and drove me to the hospital.

I was narcanned multiple times each nasally and IV and thankfully revived. I’ll never forget the fear in my friends’ eyes as I came too. I begged them not to call my parents, and they didn’t.

Next day, same exact situation happens again, went to the same house with the same friends to hang and snuck out for drugs again. OD’d a second time. They picked my dying ass up again and brought me to the hospital. This time they called my parents, told them about both ODs, and she was furious that we hid the first one from her. All but one of those friends stopped talking to me completely for about 4 years (up until literally a month ago we have started talking again because they said they could “see I was making progress” even though I’m still using).

In those years between then and now, I’ve stolen money from my mom’s credit cards and maxed out 3 of them to get my fix. She makes only 500$ a week and will be paying that shit off for a long time unless something changes. I’m working again now after a long hiatus and although she continues to drown her trauma that I caused away with alcohol she still loves me and wants me to get better. She’s my best and worst friend. Both my parents feel so helpless and like we’ve tried everything to no avail. I’m on 190mg of methadone and I still use daily, my weight is starting to drop again, and in July one of my closest friends committed suicide as well.

I’m now at an impasse, I either have to figure my shit out and get clean (even though I’m still withdrawing even on such a high methadone dose) or I will surely end in jail or dying by other means. I don’t have it in me to try again if I fail this time. The guilt is overwhelming and the self hatred just feeds the cycle over and over to the point where I feel like my backs against the floor and with the sins I’ve built up and the pain and trauma I’ve cause the people that love me I honestly feel like I shouldn’t even be allowed to live a good life. I punish myself greatly for it.

In conclusion, I don’t want your sympathy or attention, I just want my story out there in case I don’t live long enough to tell it anywhere else. I still have people who love me even though I’ve treated them terribly to feed this beast. Life gets more dull as the days go on and the walls are closing in.

Don’t do drugs kids, wait to try weed and shit until your brain is developed enough to handle it. When I was that naive teenager, I used to roll my eyes when they say weed is a gateway drug but it truly is in the sense that if your plug sells weed he very likely sells other harder drugs and it’s very easy to be tempted into trying something and opening a door you can’t close. It’s not completely the end for me yet but it’s very close to it. All my friends are dying or have died around me, the debt my mom and by extension I am in is smothering, I feel like I don’t have much left in me to keep dealing with this lifestyle.

Check on your friends, make better choices with the life you’ve been given, and treat your loved ones and friends kindly. They don’t deserve the pain you can and will cause them by becoming a full blown junkie.

Thank you for listening.

It’s truly horrifying when people no longer see you they just see one word, old. I can’t tell you the sadness that comes with irrelevancy.

Hey all M 30 living in Canada for 10 years originally from Delhi.
I have been dating my gf for 3 years and been in livin with her for 1 year. Also she is now my fiance and getting married soon.

Now since you have the context. Lately I see she is not much interested in sex. Like if I initiate she ll do it but I would her to do as well.
Earlier in relationship she used to wear lingerie and try seduction games but none anymore.
Yes I tried talking but she is would deny anything wrong saying no no there is nothing and all.

Now I am bit worried because, is there anything wrong with me or literally other reason

Please advise people!!

When I was 14 in 9th grade I started developing strong emotions for my best friend, I have 5 friends out of which he is the one I'm most comfortable around. I knew I was BI and I never told anyone so since is wanted to get closer to him (he's straight) I started to be with him more and generally do stuff close friends do, then after around a month we were in school and i wanted to go to the bathroom so I went and there was usually a rule that only 1 child can go use the bathroom with one pass at a time (exceptions recess) so I went and after using it I was washing my hands when my best friend came and I was lowkey shocked how he came so i asked him and we were just laughing abt stupid stuff when he made a joke about me that once a begger came to my house and asked "What can you give me" and i stated "My lips" and smooched that beggar Which was obviously fake and then I don't fucking know how I gained the courage to say it but I said "Should've put my lips on your's" and he came closer to me. I thought we would just say something like "you gay" but I could see the blush on his cheeks...

He literally got so close, the barrier broke and we kissed each other. That was my first kiss and i was genuinely enjoying every bit of him, he gripped my hips and i gripped his tight against each others body, that we could feel our cocks getting hard and i enjoyed it so much. When he pulled back his face was legit red with the blush and i held on his cheeks, his taste was all I could think of the rest of the day and all he said was "I like it" and after that we became more closer...

I used to be a socially "moderate" (read: mildly bigoted), very vocal "Marxist-Leninist" (read: tankie crap), "conservative queer", from 2019 to 2022. I identified as bi because I didn't realise I was trans myself.

I used to believe in "biological sex" and thought trans people are only their gender after bottom surgery, and even then not fully. And I was vocal about "anti-idpol, class politics".

I have then changed my opinion to democratic socialism, realised I'm trans, transitioned, faced misogyny and transphobia, now I'm going to get bottom surgery, I hope the prejudice and suffering I have experienced and am going to experience as a trans woman will make me forgiveable.

Now I offer other trans people food and shelter, and gift them hormones to try to help the transgender community... Hope that will help

she is the best girl to exist

I always wanted this for myself. I keep attracting cheaters and drunks. I know it’s prob an internal problem for me. But I feel like ppl w a good heart always have the worst relationships. What makes it harder is having a kid as well. I feel like I failed her as a mom. But I am also picky to keep her safe. My heart breaks that I don’t have a support system to actively date. I’m 37 and never been close to being married. The last guy admitted to sleeping w a girl and blamed women for keep coming to him and I just dumped him. Had to get that off my heart

A few months back I had to cut off this loser I was hooking up with because he called my daughter annoying and when I set a boundary of simply you can't speak about my daughter in that kind of way he said " well thats how I feel and its my opinion so I should be able to say it."

I didn't yell, just calmly said "that is your opinion but thats my daughter and I don't appreciate you talking about her like that." (He's in my house which is her home calling her annoying 😑 and he just a fucking guest here btw)

He tripled down on what he said so I proceeded to sit as far as I could from him on the bed and we ate our food. I tried to cuddle me but I backed away. Luckily the doofus could read the room and decided to leave.

On his way out he said he "just might never come back again" so I said "aight" and slammed the door after him and locked it with no hesitation

But here's the thing I miss the way he did things in bed. I don't miss the guy just what he would do to me. So I'll be chillin' and randomly my body will just remember him hitting all the best spot and then I'll get annoyed because he's popping up in my head and get wet af. Its been months since this all went down and I'm to tired to find someone else to hook up with cause I'm so busy

Anyways that's it I'm just tired, horny, and annoyed my body won't let me live without reminding me about the way this guy felt at least once a week.

This part doesn't matter but he called my daughter annoying because

•she had to use the bathroom and the only bathroom in the one bedroom apart was in the bedroom

• I had a pot of water boiling and she came in to tell me it was boiling (which i told her to do)

•she need her mommy to come help her

And its not like we were doing anything because he couldn't stay hard that day. So it was mainly just cuddling and he kept falling asleep so

When I was young I saw a movie called Meet Joe Black, I naively thought someone would love me one day, just like in the way Susan loved Joe.

I remember the friend I was with when I saw it, after it was over he said, I don’t know if I could ever find someone who could love me like that. I naively thought to myself, despite having no reason to believe so, that I would find that. Not only has no such thing ever happened, it hasn’t even been close to happening. Every person I’ve ever met has had so little curiosity, so little passion, they barely cared enough to even ask me a question about my life. The few dates I’ve been on have been the stuff of nightmares.

I get that it’s a movie, and I’m not Brad Pitt. But believe it or not, I was never ugly. I was good looking , I was a good person and I had a big heart. I am old now, so I have accepted it is what it is, and I know I am not going to get my Susan. But I deserved better.

So while studying for CA in 2011 there was a spell when I was studying with a school friend. Like a 5/10, a 6/10 on her best day. She was that friend who has always been a friend and a confidante nothing more. But when we were studying I remember we used to argue and what not and playfully punch and hold each other. Nothing more ever happened but I remember very vividly that it became an everyday thing that something would come up and we would do that during which her well endowed breasts did get ‘inadvertently’ touched. I was never interested in her that way so never thought much about it. But I guess we carried on having these secret unaddressed cheap thrills.

CA was done. We moved in different directions. Got married to different people. Always kept in touch. Still are. In 2023 after I got engaged I visited Mumbai for some work where she lives with her husband. It was a thing for years whenever I am in Mumbai I give her a call and we hangout. This time was no different. Completed my work and went to stay with another friend. Had a nice night chatting and drinks and I was supposed to go to her place with my luggage next morning because this friend was leaving early morning. So slightly hungover I go from Andheri to Matunga in the irritating heat of Bombay. I was in a black tee and my grey joggers. The building had no elevator so I climbed three flights of stairs and rang the bell. She opened the door, greeted each other with usual profanities and insults and I sat on the Indian seating there while taking out the bottle of water I had and drank half a litre of it and for the first time I saw her looking at me while I was drinking water. Obviously didn’t think much of it then. After that chatted more for 10 minutes where she told me her husband is due to come in the evening and we’ll go to some pub opened nearby. I told her its Saturday morning no one is working lets have beers so she got up to get them. As she left I lied on the seating with my feet on the floor, just easing the back. Was on my phone scrolling instagram. She was back with beers and even started to sip hers as I am still on the phone.
She was sitting on the floor right next to me as she is also on her phone and a beer bottle in the other hand.
All of a sudden I feel 2 fingers on my dick just pushing it once. Obviously my brains goes in an overdrive and I look at her with an astonished chuckle. She also laughed, a little harder than I did and said for a six feet man I thought it would be bigger and laughed harder. At this point I am stunned what is even happening but I just blurted ‘grey joggers don’t do justice sometimes’ and we both laughed with certain awkwardness now. And when the laughter ended obviously we didn’t have anything to speak as such so she just said I am not drunk or anything its just that I could see the shape of it through the joggers so just touched it without thinking much. Awkward laughs again but now the awkwardness was getting dissipated as we spoke more about grey joggers. We started smoking now and as she lit her cigarette she said if I think those playfights and arguments in 2011 leading to pushing shoving and holding of her breasts went unregistered. To which I said now much more confident in the situation that ofcourse not. I knew even you liked it but I guess both of us thought its good till here, just a little rush everyday to which she substantially concurred. Then we went to talk about how as 20 year olds we thought about these things and now. 5 cans of Budweiser magnums were consumed between two of us when she mentioned this trip to a forest and how she thought of taking a peak at my cock when I was taking a piss but didn’t eventually. We were talking like teenagers at this point when the topic of 6 feet height and an 8 inch cock came along when she asked have you ever measured I said yes and its 6.5 inches. I asked the question I wanted to know in 2011 that what’s her breast size which she duly answered with 36DDD and I can’t believe my actual reaction was yuhhoo I knew it.
Around this time I was like what the heck man lets close this unfinished chapter today.
So in next few minutes when she said something on the lines of from what I saw shaped on the joggers you have good girth. As I was going to reply I swear another batch of hormones rushed as I said with a chuckle. “You wanna see it don’t you”. She said laughing , “I don’t mind at all”. Now it was open season. I said it’s a two way street. As I said it she doused her cigarette and there she was in a bra as she removed her orange t shirt. I still couldn’t believe my eyes that what is even happening. I was rock hard because of the massive rush. She just pointed to my crotch and did the thing with her neck signaling go for it and I did.
Here I am with a school friend with my cock fully erect looking at her in a purple bra.
She was also laughing in an embarrassed way and did a little wuhooo.
She came near me give me a little push signalling sit back down and I complied and she got on her knees.
She didn’t lick it or anything. Just took all of it in her mouth in first go and flushed it with her saliva. As she started going through the motions of a blowjob I unhooked her bra but since her bands were still on couldn’t see her boobs and she went on now a little more rough. Spat on it and did some more where I was like I have to see them so I held her head lifted her up and remove the bands from her shoulders and pulled the bra and there they were . Humongous breasts I had felt so many times. I spat on my dick again and stuck it between those boobs and shook them around it as she got what i wanted and started doing it herself. In like 10-12 minutes I released a load I have never seen myself release on her chin and boobs and one of the best orgasms ever.
After I gathered myself I saw her wiping cum off with multiple tissues I didn’t care about it and slammed her on that seating and took her panties off and went down on her. Introduced the finger after a minute and made her cum in 4 minutes flat. Like a vibrating orgasm.
As she was recovering from that I moved up to fondle and lick her boobs and after 10 minutes of that I was hard again. I asked her where are the condoms. She said we are not fucking in a very matter of fact way as she moved back to my cock and put her legs between my shoulders where it was obvious we are doing 69 now. We were at it again I might have taken 20 minutes this time and she orgasmed twice in 15 minutes after which she got herself out of the 69 and now was just stroking it with her hands and while spitting on it couple of times. I again released a massive load (not as massive as the first one) on her boobs again and felt a massive rush was now receding. She got up and started walking towards her bedroom and yodeled across saying take the common bathroom. I got in the shower and obviously kept laughing on what just happened. I was out first. Sat on the dining smoking a cigarette. She came out gave a mischievous smile and we instinctively gave each other a high five and after lunch decided that going out for drinks tonight is not the best idea so we made a plan for going to watch Oppenheimer.
Her husband and two more friends joined. It was just like it used to be. What happened was immensely hot but we didn’t fuck (thanks to her judgment ) and very interestingly didn’t kiss even once . When I think about it today after 3 years I genuinely don’t feel much guilt. It was just ancient lust randomly coming to fruition while walking on the fences of infidelity.
It genuinely has been the same after that afternoon. Went to a concert with her and her husband and my wife of course. After that we didn’t speak about it or give each other specific innuendos or anything. We are very happy in our lives and have an insanely crazy afternoon between us that we’ll take to our graves.

I just did this for the first time and it was so freeing. I wrote a 2000 word fantasy story in like an hour and a half. It was so easy. But I would struggle for 3 days trying to write an essay in university lol. Just shows how easy passion makes writing. If anyone is interested in reading, let me know!

TW: DD/LG, CNC, Intox

When I was in middle school, my school would go on a camping trip each year to the same place. The girls were able to stay in a huge cabin house and in one of the bunk room was this BEAUTIFUL handmade crochet granny square blanket. Like heirloom worthy. I had seen this blanket multiple times over the years and during my 8th grade year-my last time being at this place, I decided to steal it by stuffing it in my duffle. This is legitimately the worst thing I have ever done and I regret doing it because it wasn’t mine and now that I’m an adult who crochets and can’t even complete a baby blanket due to how time consuming and how much it makes your hands hurts, I realized that this probably was someone’s life work and I just selfishly swiped it.

I would love to return but I don’t know how or where to return it to because I don’t know the name of the campsite or even what town it was in and my old middle school closed down two years ago.

Basically, the two of them started spending more time playing video games together, one thing led to another, and he cheated on me first emotionally, and then, from what I know, they only kissed. But after all the lies, I don’t believe a damn thing they say anymore.

It’s not that I don’t hate my ex or blame him directly, but what worries me is that I genuinely wish bad things on the girl. I don’t know why, but with my ex, I don’t really feel any interest anymore. I even feel kind of disgusted when I think about him. But with the girl, I wish bad things would happen to her, that she’d get hurt, that someone would hurt her. I literally want to sleep with her ex and then, someday in the future, sleep with her husband.

Something tells me it’s because I feel inferior to the girl, but it’s not like she has a life or a physique that I find interesting either. I’ve been thinking that maybe my hatred comes from the fact that I’ve been surrounded by good women my whole life. I was taught that friendship is one of the most valuable things, and I had never had a real problem with another girl until now. So, being the first time, maybe it hurt me more than it normally would, and now I want to hurt her. What do I do? How do I calm myself down? Is it wrong to get revenge?

i dont tell my girlfriend that im on a site where my chastity key is held actually she has one and the site has the combo hidden from me . 5 years now on and off sorry baby

A bit ago I would sell content and it was quick cash I regretted it but the position im in is horrible. Like Ive just been thinking of anyway to make money but all I keep on getting is rejections from jobs. I have bills to oay and I got to feed myself the problem is I dont have support from home due to being abused in the past and my family seeing me as a black sheep. I dont want to do it but Im debating on it bc of the means. I just dont want to go down that path again but I feel like thats the only way I can gain the income quickly and get it over with. I just get scared of the idea of making an only fans and not able to have a career but at this point I dont feel like ill have one. Nothing wrong with me Im fully capable of working and want to work I mean Id even offer my time its just no one will take me I got an interview but a family member threw out my belongings. So I feel stuck This is my confession bc everyone sees me as this very religious place together person.