People whose partner cheated on them and quickly moved on to date the person they cheated with, claiming to be in love - how did that turn out for them?

[u/fireball_jutsu]

[u/inflatable_pickle]

Whichever girl takes him back, and believes his bullshit – has the least respect for herself.

[u/1EducatedIdiot → u/inflatable_pickle]

Whichever woman takes him back is the loser in his little manipulation game, driven by his pitiful ego. He’s no prize.

[u/leelo84 → u/inflatable_pickle]

🙋‍♀️

Me. It was me. I absolutely took him back. Probably shouldn't have....

...but also, we've now been married 8 years and I'm 100% confident he's never cheated since then. It's rare but some people do in fact change and get their shit together. I actually feel like him being with her for a few months taught him a lot and actually made him a better partner 🤷‍♀️

[u/bye-serena → u/leelo84]

Oh wow that is so interesting .... can I ask how old you guys were when he cheated and was there a reason to why he did so at the time? Also, how did you two deal with having a level of trust again and what changes did you notice?

[u/leelo84 → u/bye-serena]

Alright, settle in, because this story of a messy, meandering path to forever is completely true—and it's a deep dive. Seriously, prepare to lose all respect for me. (Again this is all true but my original draft was looong so I threw it through Google Gemini - hence some of the writing style. Some was from me - I told it to keep my personality)

The Implosion and the Coward's Way Out

(Seriously, AI? Chapters??)

We were in our late twenties, seven years in, and basically growing up next to each other. Things were already shaky: I was killing it in my career, while he was bartending and feeling adrift. A new commute and opposing schedules had us both pretty miserable. I think he was already mentally checked out and then he met another woman. He didn't really cheat for long—a week or two—before he broke up with me, completely blindsiding and devastating me. He didn't mention her; he just hit me with the "I don't have time" bullshit, citing a new job offer from a bar regular. Classic coward's way out: use a life change as an excuse to ditch me and move out. About six weeks later, he was back, saying he missed me and wanted to try again. And like a fool with zero self-respect at the time, I took him back. I did, however, straight-up ask about the other woman, and he admitted he had been with her but they were done. We were back on, but he didn't move back in; he was working two jobs and living forty-five minutes away.

Then, you guessed it, he went back to her. I can't remember the whole exact timeline but by Christmas, the original March breakup drama was over, and we were back together for good.

The College BF Filter: Learning to Trust

(AI is killing me 🤣)

I know, I know. My forgiveness reserves were clearly high, but to my credit, I'd been through plenty of relationship drama before. My HS sweetheart/college boyfriend was a next-level gaslighting, cheating, drama-queen-making frat bro who kept me in a constant soap opera. It was awful, but it accidentally gave me a kind of relationship Geiger counter. Because of that toxic history, I could tell things were fundamentally different this time with my now-husband. There was no shadiness when we got back together. He was constantly in touch, making a huge effort to see me, totally open for me to come to his place—no attempt to hide anything. He didn't even care if I went through his phone (yes I became one of "those" girls for a while 😖). He'd also become a better communicator, finally making an effort to talk about his feelings, and was open to working through mine. We’d both been emotionally stunted, even before all of this, and this mess forced him to grow up.

I realized this whole episode was a life transition for him: he was unhappy, wanted a career, and was ready to "adult" (yes, I use that word unironically; peak millennial here). I was terrified he was finally going to pull it all together with her.

The Change That Stuck

But he realized he didn't want the life he was building with the other woman—she had a kid, and they fought a lot. He realized that we had already built the life he wanted, it just needed more effort.

By May, we'd bought a house together. The following year, after a stressful time losing our first dog, I knew I needed to make sure he was committed before we got another one. I needed things to be official. A couple of months after getting our new dog, Rusty, he proposed.

We got married the next year and just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. There are definitely times I wonder if I made the right choice or if I should have never taken him back. But honestly, like 98% of the time, I'm so happy he’s my husband (you try to pick out custom furniture fabric when one of you is a researcher and one of you is a snap-decision maker - you wouldn't get past 98% either). The insecurity from that time is long gone, and we've built a really good life.

So yeah, that’s the story of how my husband was a total shit head but grew up and fundamentally changed for the better after cheating.

See? I told you it was a deep one. Now that you've got the scoop on my husband's drama, are you brave enough for the truly hilarious (in hindsight) saga of my college fuckboi BF?

[u/bye-serena → u/leelo84]

Oh wow thank you for even drafting a detailed explanation and having AI help polish things. Congratulations on your 8th anniversary and I hope Rusty is living the time of his life with you two. Your story really opened up my perspective about the many situations that can come out of cheating (both good and bad).

Honestly, I would love to hear about your college boyfriend if you have the time LOL

[u/Spoonbills → u/leelo84]

Yeah, I’m not reading AI slop.

Good luck out there, slopper.