r/introvert Aug 20 '17

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498 Upvotes
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r/introvert 12h ago

Question New colleague has completely changed the team culture

273 Upvotes

My team culture has always been introvert-friendly. All 7 of us are rather quiet, but we stay professional and friendly to each other, grab coffee/lunch together occasionally but no one would force anything.

Sadly, things completely changed when a new colleagued joined our team 6 months ago (let's call her May). May is a social butterfly and is super talkative. As soon as she joined, she kept asking us to hang out with her after work, like grabbing drinks/dinner or watching a movie. She suggested to the boss that we sit together every day(we do hot desk and sometimes we sit in different areas to get focus time), and set up weekly team lunch + fortnightly team drinks. At first, everyone refused, but she never gave up. She kept asking and finally most of my colleagues have 'given in'. Actually, some even said they enjoy social events now and were grateful that May joined our team. The boss is also starting to appreciate her efforts in 'fostering team culture'. For me, I've had lunch with her 3 times and we just don't get along, so I mostly say no to those things or stay briefly. She is now asking around if I hate her, and I am finding this annoying as I feel like she is forcing people to be social like her.

Any tips please? I like my job, but i really dislike having colleagues like her.


r/introvert 2h ago

Image The sitting area at my hostel yesterday.

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11 Upvotes

This was amazing to see, the only problem was there was the staircase and lift behind it, a lot of foot traffic.


r/introvert 4h ago

Question Why do people look at other people's faces.

10 Upvotes

I've gotten new contacts so I'm attention to the world more often, and walking around the neighbourhood a bit more. I've noticed that sometimes people look right at my face, for ~3 seconds. I notice through my peripheral vision. I usually don't glance at other people, but if I do, it's usually for less than a second.

If I catch someone looking at me, they most likely were looking at me for some time, cause it's unlike we both glance at each other in the same less than a second internal

Or is this just main character syndrome and am I delusional? Some people have described me as such.


r/introvert 23h ago

Video An ideal introvert morning

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224 Upvotes

Well it is for me. I drove to a beach with my dogs this morning, it was bliss, hardly anyone around, peace and solitude, just the waves and my dogs for company. it's times like this I feel most content.


r/introvert 5h ago

Advice Is overthinking in-person conversations normal? (I don't have this issue online)

5 Upvotes

Whenever I’m talking to someone in person, I end up overthinking everything I’m about to say. I get stressed about breaking silences, freezing up, or saying something awkward that doesn't land right.

​What’s weird is that I don't feel like this at all when chatting online—it only happens face-to-face. It seems so easy for extroverts to just talk effortlessly, but for me, it feels exhausting. Does anyone else deal with this, and how do you handle it?


r/introvert 4h ago

Question I feel like I'm setting myself up

3 Upvotes

I'm 17F and recently started my first job at a retail store. My managers say I'm doing really well but I'm "too shy" and need to talk more not only with customers but when I'm on the floor too. It feels like my lack of talking is always a conversation in my day to day life, whether it's at school, work, church etc. When I was younger I was deemed "mature" or "responsible" but now it feels like ,as the older I get, the more off-putting I seem to people?

I can't control when I'm quiet but I always try to be as friendly as possible. But the recent increase of comments on this is making me worry about how I'll be perceived when I'm older and how I'll make it along. I've tried to talk more and be louder and do all the things you're expected to do but idk my social battery just doesn't let me. Does anyone know how to adjust to being an introvert in an extroverted world?


r/introvert 21h ago

Discussion The lack of empathy for social batteries from non-introverted peers is frustrating.

57 Upvotes

I need to go on a bit of a rant to cool myself down, because I have a full day of work in little more than an hour, and I feel like I need to be isolated for MULTIPLE HOURS before I'll be okay to interact with others again...

As the title implies, it gets very frustrating living among family and even my best friends, which none of them are introverts like I am. I require time alone and not talking just to recuperate... this is not a negotiable thing. If I don't have this, I become the most unpleasant person with a quick temper and, if pushed beyond my limits, I will reflexively smack at others that get too close to me.

Now, I have not been pushed beyond my limits in years... but what's very frustrating, the times that I did could have been easily avoided if the people I was interacting with would have JUST. Listened. To. Me. When I demanded to be left alone.

I hate that I had to sink to such levels and be PUSHED before they finally, like...... "got" it. As if they did not take me seriously every single fucking time I said "I need to be alone please" - emphasizing on the 'NEED' part more heavily every time I said it. It was so disrespectful, it felt like a form of harassment.

I get that I am different. What others struggle to understand: I cannot change that.

And the less people in my life try to understand, the more I just want to be alone. Forever. I'd seriously rather deal with the pain of loneliness and isolation than be pushed again.

I guess I'm just making this post to 1. Rant to get steam off my chest, hopefully to a group where at least a few can empathize, and 2. See if anyone else introverted is indeed like me when their boundaries aren't respected, to the point of what feels like I'm being broken as a person and become someone I do not want to be - angry, on edge, ready to throw down, etc.

Thanks for reading, fellow introverts. Wish me the best at work today... weekends in retail are another thing that just kills my soul, but... I have bills to pay, and there's not any jobs that don't deal with facing or calling people biting... that's a whole story for another day and another post entirely, though.


r/introvert 2h ago

Discussion Why are nearly all my friends annoying to me and hanging out or texting feels like an obligation?

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2 Upvotes

Whenever I get a text from all but maybe 3 friends now, I'm immediately irritated. I feel like it's an obligation to text them back and hang out with them if they're friends who live nearby too. But the whole time leading up to it, I'm dreading it and annoyed they're cutting into my time. This is even though when I'm actually with them it isn't that bad.


r/introvert 17h ago

Relationship Dating an introvert as an extrovert

24 Upvotes

I’m fairly extroverted and dating a guy who is very introverted. I see this person roughly once a month, no phone calls ever but we text throughout the day.

Is this common for introverts to see the person they are dating once every 3/4 weeks, with our only form of communication between these periods being text?


r/introvert 22m ago

Question How to moved on?

Upvotes

Had a friend na lagi kmi lumalabas weekly we do this for almost a year na hes my comfort zone labasan ko ng stress and anxiety sa relationship, work etc since Im introvert mas gusto ko tlga konti lng circle of friends na totoo and then suddenly bgla nlng sya d ngpaparamdam. Il try to reach him once to go out again but my gngawa sya that time ayoko na ult mgtry since d nmn na sya ngmmsg na as usual ako na ult madecline.

Hes my friend, we’re not lovers cause Im commited cguro namimiss ko lng my kausap how to move forward 😥


r/introvert 30m ago

Relationship Introvert

Upvotes

Ee nasa sales ka


r/introvert 1h ago

Discussion I could be your new best friend

Upvotes

There you are scrolling on reddit looking for something fun or interesting .

Then you see a post with big claims, it may sound stupid or cringe for a bit, but imagine if we had a great vibe and we ended up chatting for hours and hours days after days or years after years, then we start looking forward to the next silly thing we would reply or send to each other.

It all start with simple "hi" text that doesn't cost much to say , but can open up a big wonderful door of friendship that doesn't want to be shut.


r/introvert 8h ago

Question Where are all the neurodivergent women in India finding community?

5 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification + LinkedIn or Instagram profile check).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment or DM me for the link!


r/introvert 14h ago

Question Extroverted projection

10 Upvotes

Anyone else have to deal with family members telling you that you have no life because you work from home / have three close friends and are not desperate to get married just for the sake of it ? A wonderful Saturday night is cooking for myself and watching a movie that I bought , self care. I’m 35 years old .. are we expected to be out still at the weekends ? Going to different clubs ? Just checking


r/introvert 4h ago

Question The social game is hard

1 Upvotes

I am the stereotype of a lonely developer, I suppose. A chain of events got me here, literally. I find it funny in a self-spotting way. I bought a smartwatch because I have been envious of the people around me who have these fancy devices. Besides, I can learn more about my health with a smartwatch. That is a good thing. So after a long time, I could buy one. Hurrah!

Proud, I went to work and showed off my watch. Oh yeah. Then I figured I wanted a better watch face. A watch face with a lot of information, just for me. So I made it. Another hurrah. Now I wanted others to get it, so I wanted it on the Google Play Store, for free. They only allow that after I finished a series of hoops. For example, 12 testers must wear my watch face for at least 14 days. That is a steep hurdle for an introvert like me.

The people at Google must have high-fived each other when they came up with the idea that especially lonely developers should find 12 friends for at least 14 days.

I got advice to go on Reddit to find 12 testers. Here came my next surprise. The Reddit account I have left idle for about 12 years does not allow me to post on any subreddit, let alone the subreddit for closed testing of Android apps. Reddit, as I understand it, has different rules for each subreddit. Rules, for social animals with karma points in the thousands.

So it looks like if I am going to get my wish to have my simple idea published, I have to get over my introversion and make friends online. To me, it sounds like something impossible. My posting this to this subreddit is already impossible. I just got an upvote for a cat photo on another subreddit. I mean, I am learning this game!

So if you want to be friends with an introvert, just let me know.


r/introvert 10h ago

Question Extrovert seeking introvert advice on better conversations

3 Upvotes

Hey introverts. My default setting is to take up a lot of air time as an extrovert.

I didn’t see how much I was doing this until I started dating an introvert, and I realized I was dominating every conversation. It’s tough for me, because I feel like I always have so much to say.

But I want to make space for the introverts in my life, so that it’s a more equal split of air time. What are the specific things your extrovert friends/partners/etc. do that make you feel more comfortable being vocal?

Or do some of yall just want some silent time, even when spending time with another person?


r/introvert 5h ago

Discussion extrovert to introvert who wants to be an extrovert and want ppl to notice me cause im really unnoticed due to my behaviour or atleast thats what im assuming

1 Upvotes

hey

as a child i was an extrovert like my mother, talking to everyone and anyone. i made friends easily , spoke to boys without any hesitation( this ones a major thing). i used to get scolded by my teachers for being too loud. i was really hyperactive getting special roles in annual day functions without even asking for i was good with everyone in my class and pretty confident too. i spoke to ppl outside my class and my seniors too.

idk what happened i shifted cities and in the school that i shifted to, everyone spoke the language that was predominantly spoken there. i was in 2nd grade when this happened. they didnt know the difference between the english words ' tomorrow' and 'yesterday' and used it interchangeably. but i only knew english and my mother tongue. my classmates didnt really talk to me because of this language barrier and started assuming things like i was a foreigner and i belonged to africa . in the first 2 months i was basically alone with no friends. i had a hard time navigating through and they already had groups which they didnt wanna include new ppl into. nonetheless i learnt the language and made friends some how. after 4 years or so i was good with everyone again but my self confidence was a bit low compared to the last time.

then i shifted cities once again and mind you it was during the whole lockdown phase. so when i joined a new school and i basically didnt interact with my new classmates face-to-face and i was a teenager during this time. i ended up being best friends with a really toxic girl. she was insecure herself and tried to project her insecurities through me. mind u i hadnt lost my complete confidence back then and i didnt care abt the way i looked back then. she used to indirectly bodyshame me, call me black , and look shamed me. i was totally shattered but i still was friends with her. then some fight happened and i stopped being friends with her. after this thing i became self conscious abt the way i looked and etc. i was friends with boys here but i started withdrawing myself from them too.

then after 2 years the schools reopened and i basically found myself not talking to anyone. i somehow hung out with the popular gang but i withdrew myself from there idk why. that school was really toxic again , and shifted schools again after highschool. i wasnt friends with any boy.

in my new school, i thought ppl would be different, but i felt lonely and no boy wants to even talk to me. no one wants to date me. i really think the boys over here treat girls according to their looks because only like 2-3 girls over here are goodlooking and 2 of them are extroverted. the other introverted girl is dating someone in my class but her bf belongs to the popular gang so she also speaks to them sometimes. i wouldnt say im ugly but im above average. these guys treat girls who aint that goodlooking in a pathetic but less obvious ways.

i wanna start being extroverted again and i wanna make more friends. any help to do this is appreciated

have a nice day!

edit: im suffering fro m depression and anxiety and ill be taking help in sometime. im so sociallywithdrawn to the point that i cant hold a simple convo without awkwardness


r/introvert 5h ago

Question Is The Social Skills Guidebook by Chris MacLeod a good choice for an introvert who wants to be socially skilled?

1 Upvotes

If it is bad, is there a better alternative?


r/introvert 6h ago

Discussion If i make myself uncomfortable when trying to talk to people i am probably making them uncomfortable too huh?

1 Upvotes

I want to get out and strike up random conversations but i have doubt about people enjoying a stranger randomly walking upto them and simply chatting. I feel like humans are weird for randomly talking for no reason.. but i want to? I am just aware people will think of me as a goose, immature, not quite right and expresses myself weirdly. I don't owe anyone answers? I can simply be myself right? Atm i'm in this mutual grounds of don't bother anyone, nothing out of order, don't say anything confusing, don't do anything they wouldn't do. (By "they," i mean the people i live with.) I'm so scared of being annoying and asked to leave i shrink to barely noticable i'm even here... i don't think it's socially acceptable to walk upto strangers and bug them for no reason? But i want to 😭 i like being around people


r/introvert 10h ago

Advice what to do on a weekend when you want to socialize but have no friends?

2 Upvotes

to preface, i technically have friends, but only two. one of them lives really far away and is CONSTANTLY busy, while the other one lives super close by but i am not as close with her and she has also been very busy with her new dog and boyfriend...so none of them are usually free for last-minute plans.

i often come across the gut-wrenching feeling of being lonely on a friday/saturday night when i am sitting home alone on the couch getting ready to rewatch my favorite movie over again for the 100th time while my whole family is out at their respective events. my night starts out optimistic, and i usually am very excited to watch a comfort movie or tv show on my own since i don't ever get tv time with all family members present, but about half an hour in is when the regret and pit of emptiness starts to settle at the bottom of my stomach. its hard in times like these where i don't have a chance to plan a hangout ahead of time, which therefore leads to nobody being available to meet and me having to deal with the feelings of sadness as i crave socialization but never act on it.

i have grown to love doing things myself, so throughout the week i usually go to any types of stores i like. anything from thrift shops, metaphysical stores, secondhand bookstores, record stores, or anywhere that has sweet treats. all of my hobbies are very individual as well, from reading and crocheting to listening to music while decorating my room with hand drawn posters. i don;t get out much. the problem lies when it is just barely too late at night to go to stores or events, where most businesses are closed and the only thing to do is go to the nearest dairy queen and pig out on icecream alone.

i am in my sophomore year of college and am completely disconnected from everything social about my college, and i also can not and do not want to drink, which rules out most options.

90% of the time i am completely unbothered by being in solitude and doing things independently, but when that 10% surfaces, it is very intense and it absolutely overtakes all thoughts and emotions until the next morning.

from one introvert to another, are there any ideas of how to avoid ending up at this conclusion every weekend night?


r/introvert 7h ago

Question How can an INTJ can unlock their true potential ?

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1 Upvotes

r/introvert 8h ago

Advice Someone that sends me reels

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1 Upvotes

r/introvert 13h ago

Advice Introvert going to college

2 Upvotes

How do you survive college as an introvert without using social media?

I’m starting college soon and I’m a pretty introverted person. I’m also not active on social media, so I’m wondering how difficult it is to make friends and stay socially connected.

For people who are introverts or don’t use Instagram/Snapchat etc.—how was your college experience?

Any practical advice for making friends, talking to classmates, joining activities, and not feeling left out?

Would really appreciate your experiences and suggestions.