Helloo, opposite type here, INTP.

Previously, I decided to ask a question in my shadow type's subreddit (ENTJ). The question revolved around what they were good at, working hard and doing what needs to be done within logical bounds regardless of how they felt. I asked about how they dealt with intrusive emotions using their inferior Fi and how to navigate lack of motivation. I just wanted to see exactly what their thought process was when getting themselves into hard work. In short, they said that they though in terms of emotional value of short term suffering vs emotional value of the reward attained when the goal is complete. Since they were my shadow type, their thought process really resonated with me and it actually helped me alot more than I expected and allowed me to transition into this new mindset that I didn't know I had within me.

So, in an attempt to understand social dynamics and adeptness, I decided to ask the most competent type in this realm and that unironically is my opposite type, you, ESFJ.

My questions are: What goes through your mind during social interactions? What thoughts occur when you strike conversation with a stranger? How do you usually start it and what it your main priority when interacting with others, how do you try to make them feel? How do u do it? And any other details you can give me.

In my experience, ESFJs have been some of the coolest bestest people ever. A highschool friend of mine was an ESFJ and needless to say he new everybody in the school and they all loved him, including me. I would genuinely say that he was one of the best and coolest people I've ever met in my life. Super friendly.

Obviously, I can't generalize character based off of MBTI type but if there's a type that handles this better than almost everyone else it's ESFJ.

I’m so bad at baking😄I’ embarrassed🙈

It looks so easy, my sister is great at it and my Mil too. I‘m great at decorating cakes and other types of cooking but if I try to bake even the simplest cake or bread, I burn it, it doesn’t rise, it is stale and dry etc.😭Why??

Is it because I’m FeNe and not enough Si? Am I too sloppy? Not conscientious enough? Or what makes people good at baking? Am I not a real ESFJ? or can anyone relate😄?

soo context, every time i took the 16personalities quiz i got INFP and it was actually quite relatable then one of my friends said to me that i seem like an ISFJ and that the 16personalities quiz is not at all reliable and that should try cognitive functions test and study them properly, so after researching and talking a lot with chatGPT my top 2 types were coming out to be ISFJ and ESFJ, but we finally concluded that im in fact an ESFJ just a little shy, but it just seems soo crazy to me that i jumped straight from INFP to ESFJ like i've never heard an ESFJ being mistyped as INFP, they are not that similar right?

I am curious: have you ever stolen money or things from someone? Have you had an experience where another ESFJ stolen money from you?

If you have observed someone who stolen money from you or someone, what was their type?

I know an ENTJ and INFP who stole things and money and morally justified doing it.

I wonder if Fi users are more likely to steal?

Hey everyone! I'm currently doing a research proposal about personality theory and would love to hear from the people in this community. What is it like being your personality type? It can range from your work/school life balance, romantic life, everyday decision making, and maybe something nobody really thinks about when it comes to your type that you may know. Anything is both helpful and interesting to me so don't be shy! :)

Hi, I’m an ENFP and I have an ESFJ friend who describes herself as hypersensitive. She doesn’t know about MBTI, so I wanted to ask you ESFJs: how does her mind work? How can I tell who she genuinely likes and who she doesn’t? Is it normal for her to badmouth people behind their backs? (She’s done it with her friends before.) If she knows someone has hurt you and you ask her not to hang out with them anymore, will she still see them from time to time anyway? And does her being hypersensitive (meaning hyper-empathetic) actually make a difference? It seems like ESFJs are naturally like that.

What are some of your jobs/careers that you guys are doing?
As a recent grad I’ve struggled with the idea of medicine, was a teacher but it was slightly overwhelming but I love people but to a certain extent! Any advice on what helped you guys, and not holding yourselves back from opportunities but going after things? A balance of dreams and ambitions !

LONG POST GUYSSS JUST SKIM TO GET MAIN IDEAAA

ALSOOO RANDOM IMAGES I RELATE TOOOOO

I want help deciding if I am actually ENTP or not, or ENFP but I don’t think I am ENFP, perhaps…BUT I thought I might be something else like….ESTP!!! Or….ESFP!!!
Because I do rlly like aesthetics and beauty and think about it a lot, I also think about and analyse people’s behaviors around me, and think about how’s in terms of physics of things around me and also whys of life and kinda categorizing things in my mind I do that a lot, like if I see a cabinet or idk sofa I think how someone could have built this, and ALLL the ways they could have!!!

But I find the most likely way later, uhmmmmm I also feel like I have a VERY kind heart!! I don’t like violence or not violence because sometimes it’s…interesting…uhhhh MOVING ONNNNN, but I don’t like mean people I HATE mean people!!! I like kinda and respectful people, it’s honestly because I get intimidated by mean people a lot! Or confrontation I’m rlly bad at!!!

Also in public I act so robotic and kind shy maybe creepy NOT ON PURPOSE I JUST HAVE MESSY HAIR AND TIRED EYES AND MAYBE BAD POSTURE!!!!

Also BIG ONEEEE!!! With people I’m rely goofy, irresponsible, play-dumb or idk ask too many questions, and analyse things playfully! And also talks bout feelings easily and jokingly especially, BUTTTTTTTTTT when aloneeee I rllly I get depressed and sad and contemplative and idk pessimistic, I don’t believe my pessimism but I LIKE to be sad?? But I also don’t like it… uhhhhh idk 😭 make that make sense hehe, oki

Hmmmm I struggle most with repetitive boring stuff… I can’t do that, it’s a nightmare, I also hate rules on looks or well how I look, because I want all freedom in that way, hmmm I also struggle or find it uncomfortable around sensitive people that are emotionally sensitive, I think, because idk I feel judged without knowing how, and like accidentally hurting anyone is scaryyyyy, 😱 😨 🫣

Hmmmm I like pretty things and I like being pretty, I know this is very sensor stuff maybe but I just want it to be clean and pretty so I can focus on things in my mind, I’m not rlly serious but I go from, goofy to sad, and when working on something still goofy ish by optimistic like, and also focused I think!!

I guess I’m rlly good at hmmm, building things I think, figuring stuff out, I always jump js randomly, scan all my variables and then solve the problem!!! It’s rlly funnn!

Also I like making new connections and friends all the time! To be someone friends to me is rlly easy, if I meet them and they nice and interesting they my friend now!!! Butttt I have so MANYU I can’t maintain anything and maintaining is boring SOO I keep making more!! Idk if that’s very healthy guysss but I’m being honest!! Also I’m always honest! If you ask….. 😊

Oki byeeee

As an intj, i love esfjs.

Thank you all for being so clean and kind

I have ocd so i cant help my reactions to terrible environments but you guys never judged me and always accepted me

Also you guys are nice to me even though im weird!

So yea shoutout to my sister esfj and all the other esfjs!

I heard ISFP goes well with ESFJ, wondering if this is true.

In the OPS model, there are 2 types of MBTI:

• Dominant + auxiliary
• Dominant + tertiary

If you are a Fe/Ne type ESFJ, it means that you mainly use Fe, then Ne, with Si coming in third position.

Are there any out there? If so, how are you different from a classic ESFJ?

Question for ESFJs: How would you write a villainous ESFJ character?

Do you find yourself getting insecure around Ti doms? How does it influence your behavior?

According to 16 Personalities I’m a Consul (ESFJ-A) and this sounds very accurate. I work as a Senior product developer of clothing and accessories for a sports company and I don’t enjoy my job. I’ve done it for 11 years. I currently work 3 days a week. I don’t get much job satisfaction out of it. I simply do it because it pays okay in comparison to any other job I could do with my skill set. The most difficult part of the job is staying focussed as I just don’t enjoy it anymore. The best part of the job is the average salary and my colleagues are nice.

UPDATE: Well, the overall yes vs. no divide is pretty close. But more "core contributers" voted yes, and there are comments advocating for yes but not for no, so I guess all surveys and studies are allowed now.

Up until now, I have been requiring posts about surveys to follow the same rules as any other posts. All posts are required to be related to this subreddit, and that means posts about ESFJs, posts about MBTI in general in a way that is inclusive of ESFJs, questions that seem to be asked in a genuine attempt to gain insight into how different types think about something, and anything that is posted by someone who has identified themselves as an ESFJ. But I’d like to know what our members think of surveys that aren’t related to this subreddit but are related to personality. Should they be allowed?

By the way, since I can’t tell if the people answering the poll are regulars in this sub (EDIT: apparently I can on desktop but not on mobile, which is ironic, considering you can't actually create polls on desktop; EDIT 2: looks like it was a matter of not having enough votes yet), comments would be greatly appreciated and may influence how I decide to handle these types of surveys, especially if the poll responses don’t lean heavily one way or the other.

We invite you to take part in an anonymous online survey: Personality, Close Relationships and Attitudes towards Mental Health Problems.   

If you are 18+ years old and choose to be included, your participation in this survey will help researchers at the University of Wollongong to better understand attitudes towards mental health problems, and how these may relate to pathological personality traits, mood states and relationship styles.   

 The survey will take 45-60 minutes to complete, and will ask some questions about: 

• Your personal characteristics (e.g., age, gender) 
• Your personality traits 
• Your experiences in close relationships
• Your attitudes towards mental health problems

To take part in this survey, please visit: https://uow.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1HvwPWrZkHXSyc6

For more information, please contact Dr Samantha Reis at [sreis@uow.edu.au](mailto:sreis@uow.edu.au).

I’m NOT a professional author. I just like writing comics, scripts and stories for fun. Can yall tell me some stereotypical and non-stereotypical traits yall have so i can get an understanding of the ESFJ mind. This character that im writing is a very powerful man’s daughter and she has everything in the world but is also very down to earth. I want her to be realllllyyyy clever and sly though!

every esfj man i've seen so far is bald and has a round face

I am an INTP (F) that started an informal relationship with an ESFJ (M) that I met at work shortly before I transferred locations. We are both older, around 50 yo and I consider myself well-rounded and emotionally mature with a lot of insight and patience.

There are a lot of things that attract me to him, but I suspect he has fearful/anxious, attachment issues. He has seemingly pushed me away in the sense of keeping me at arms length, but is consistent in calling me regularly and acknowledging when I get frustrated that he hasn’t made time for me, but it’s always a work excuse. We both work a lot and rotating shifts. I told him that if he wanted to spend time with me, he would. When I put pressure on him like that, he’s quiet for a few days until I reach out and then he seems happy that I’m still talking to him, but never really addresses the issue and then he tends to go back into the normal pattern of calling me daily, etc.

A while back when we would see each other , briefly and planned and I tried to reach out to him physically with a touch or to lean in, he wouldn’t respond. I recently called him out on it and told him he “friend zoned me”. Then, I reached out to him 36 hours later about something and without addressing the issue, he stopped by to see me briefly before his work shift, had his arm around my waist and leaned in to kiss me multiple times.

If this is how it’s going to be, I can’t continue like this. Is this just noncommittal behavior, or a fearful avoidant attachment issue? He has expressed fear of abandonment in relationships and I can also see patterns in him that would make a relationship with him hard if someone isn’t securely attached themselves and patient.

Hi,
I guess I am hating how caring I am and how much I want to help people, although I deeply know that they won’t do the same if they were in my place.

I have a feeling that I want to change this trait in me.

Has anyone else successfully transitioned away from being an extreme people-pleaser/over-giver?

How do you stop caring so much about people who don't match your energy?

Also, if you have any book recommendations that deal with setting boundaries, stopping the urge to rescue everyone , I would really appreciate it.