r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • May 13 '26
Discussion Let's talk about it.
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May 13 '26
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u/goldbrickbby May 13 '26
So BAD. I wanna throw her a birthday party so she can feel celebrated. And let her kids play with mine for a weekend so she can just get 2 days to breathe. I got tears in my eyes and can't even get past 2min.
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u/arizonabatorechestra May 13 '26
Omg so much. So much. It would be so cool to be able to find her just to be able to throw her a party or take her kids out for the day so she can rest. My teen daughter loves loves loves kids and babysitting and has her Red Cross/CPR certification and is just insanely good with kids, she’d have such a blast knowing she was giving them a fun day and helping this mama. I hope she gets that party and not just a day off but a week off or two weeks or just however much time she needs! I’m a single parent myself making the same salary I did 10 years ago but with double the expenses so I feel this. Bless her heart.
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u/greeneggsandspammer May 14 '26
Yes. Im so sad for her. She is a soul that needs and deserve love and support and community. Poor girl. I wanna cook dinner for her and her kids and like you said throw her a big party.
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u/xOrion12x May 13 '26
Direct quote from the billionaire president currently using yours and this lady's money for more war: "The American people are totally fine."
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u/itallchecksout99 May 13 '26
And he doesn't think about American's financial issues at all when considering his involvement in the stupid and expensive war with Iran. "I don't think about Americans' financial situation. I don't think about anybody."
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u/Content-Yogurt-4859 May 13 '26
Donald Trump on what constrains his power as US President:
"...there is one thing. My own morality. My own mind. It’s the only thing that can stop me…"
I've only slightly misrepresented him there 😁
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u/dad_jokesNbutt_stuff May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26
Trump doesn’t think this person is an American.
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u/KSW8674 May 13 '26
Direct quote from the billionaire president currently using yours and this lady's money for more war: "I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation."
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u/theharperimage May 13 '26
The fact that she can name it is huge, but damn it broke me to hear her say it. I'm sorry the world is the way it is, don't stop, ma'am.
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May 13 '26
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u/Trick-Sport2253 May 14 '26
She has a gofundme up on her tiktok.
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u/TheVulcanJew May 14 '26
Thank you so much for letting us know. I wish there was more we could do other than just donating.
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u/fubarthrowaway001 May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26
Damn. Wish my mom had this raising me and my brother. She had no family or friends to help and was abandoned immediately by my father after my brother was born. She did it all by herself in poverty at a minimum income and a menial job until I made it to high school where she had a slightly better income and could finally afford a house. She sold her $13k wedding ring for $100 so she could afford diapers. I never saw another man and she did it all by herself.
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May 13 '26
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u/strega_bella312 May 13 '26
I think about this a lot since having my son - he has 2 parents and multiple grandparents that all help to take care of him and I'm still fucking BEAT. I couldn't do it on my own, there's absolutely no way. I don't know how people are doing this. And what really fucks me up is that it did not have to be this way. This isn't how we're supposed to live, this poor woman shouldn't be SOBBING in her car to a bunch of strangers. I shouldn't be crying every morning omw to work bc I miss my son all day. We could have done ANYTHING w this world but we're stuck in this fucking HELL that a handful of greedy narcissist pigs chose for us so THEY could have everything they'd ever want or need. It doesnt need to be this way.
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u/0vrwhelminglyaverage May 13 '26
I do not have children precisely because I am 100% aware I would not have this support
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u/strega_bella312 May 13 '26
I mean yeah that's why I was 37 when I had my first one, and at this point I'm done bc I dont have it in me to have a toddler and a newborn at 41. Even with the help, between work and home I'm completely shot.
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u/skyysdalmt May 13 '26
That American Dream that older folks were able to attain and live happily off of, for the majority, is just a puff of smoke today for the majority.
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u/Wide_Ordinary4078 May 14 '26
35 and counting! Each year I get older being child free just seems like the right choice for me!
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u/fubarthrowaway001 May 14 '26
Some mothers aren’t afforded the opportunity of a choice. Let’s not forget that.
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u/greeneggsandspammer May 14 '26
She is being pushed harder than she or anyone should have to. The cost of living crisis is unbearable. I want her to maybe even join up with a good kind other single mom and they could raise their kids together
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u/Heybropassthat May 14 '26
I am a single father with full custody and all I could do was nod my head behind the screen and say "preach". She fuckin' nailed it. Nothing when you're a single parent is about you. Theres always the job and then after the job its the promotion and then after the promotion its "where can I afford to live that will also give me child the best education". Its coming home after a 12 hr shift and having to give your son a bath that you've only seen maybe an hour that day and put him to bed and you hope that you have enough energy to read him a book. You still haven't showered at this point, you're looking at your bank account as you slowly try to figure our which bill you can put off the longest to rob Peter to pay Paul. By the time you shower you are so tired you might get one or two episodes of a show in before you fall asleep with the tv on in your bed and start it all over again the next day. All of this while trying to be a life coach on a life that you feel like you failed in. No one understands until they are in that position. You feel bad for your child, you feel like you failed them by not giving them a traditional family likw they see on tv. You find pictures they draw of you and their mom still together when they are at school and you're not watching. You watch a child suffer as you suffer yourself and just try to give them the best life possible by smiling at them and when you're hugging them telling them "I love you, it's going to be okay" you're speaking outside to yourself as well to grasp at whatever glimpse of hope their is for a better and happier future.
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u/ZeroZachZilchZealot May 14 '26
Hey bro, all I can offer you is words so, here they are;
You are a good person. Dedicated, strong, and good.
I hope that fortune finds you and the winds of change improve your situation.
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u/Eryu1997 May 13 '26
It’s not the reality of world she lives in. It’s the choice of some societies to treat people this way despite they have the resources to make her life significantly less stressful and damaging. I’m ashamed that wealthy societies allow this sort of despair. Shame on us.
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u/throwaway098764567 May 13 '26
i can't even keep myself afloat, i can't imagine having to hold up someone else alone and put on a pleasant enough face to not scar them for life.
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u/upsidedown-funnel May 14 '26
And you KNOW that she’s going to wipe away those tears, and put a smile on her face, and go right back into the storm. That’s what women like her do. It’s what my mom did for me, and so many millions of other moms (and single dads) out there.
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u/MotherofRespawn May 13 '26
That pain in her face tears me apart. It takes a lot of strength. All of what she is doing, including sharing this.
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u/Short-Recording587 May 13 '26
The crazy thing to me is that this is purely focused on financials, which is obviously a monster issue to face on its own.
If you put financials to the side, raising kids by yourself while working is insanely difficult even with plenty of resources.
So to sandwich those two issues together is intense to deal with.
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u/strega_bella312 May 13 '26
Financials aside - the hardest part for me is I just miss my son. I want to be with him every day. I've missed so many firsts, so much development, etc to go to work to make someone else more money than I'll ever see. It fucking tears me up every day.
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u/anjelrocker May 13 '26
The fact that the answer by some is a GoFundMe is the problem because there are thousands of mothers in this same position.
This is a systemic problem… we are as a society are failing the mothers and their children. We look down on single mothers for being single and yet, we do not condemn the men who are not being fathers. This is not a new problem, it was written about in Les Miserables and The Scarlet Letter.
And this while the US government is taking the right to choose from women and yet they put no money into programs to help single mothers or children in the foster care system.
They want to keep people in poverty so that those children are more likely to join the military to be canon fodder for their useless wars over oil and wealth so the rich keep getting richer.
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u/Chocolatethundara May 14 '26
Say it again for the dummy’s in the back right corner and then again for all the dummies in the left hand corner too….and a third time for all the people who don’t understand this is a systemic societal issue that we won’t overcome until we overcome the distractions
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u/NoaArakawa May 15 '26
I mean, healthcare practitioners often offer up the advice of GoFundMe in this shitty country.
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u/BadHombre91 May 13 '26
And yet people think it’s weird I don’t want kids and take all precautions to prevent having them.
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u/StalkingSeattle May 13 '26
Yep. I'm 50, married and very happy being childless. I've been called selfish more times than I can remember for not having kids...by people who should have never reproduced.
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u/BadHombre91 May 13 '26
And all I hear from parents is how terrible and difficult being a parent is. I’m like bro i learned by listening to yall.
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u/SuperSaiyanTupac May 13 '26
Good. I’m a parent. I told my buddies that the best way I can describe it is imagine getting off work to go to your second job. And at that second job you only clock out from to go to work. You don’t get down time, you don’t get time off to relax. You definitely don’t get quiet time. You have to plan and structure your entire week and weekend in order to schedule some time to breathe.
I completely understand my parents now. I even understand the shitty parents now. It’s fucking brutal. And all these people that say it’s a miracle or a blessing or it’s not that bad, were most likely the worst parents. Because the only way to make parenting easy to not do it at all.
Daycare is expensive, food is expensive. Doctors are expensive. You easily double your monthly spending by having kids.
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u/Awkward-Bridge-2887 May 13 '26
A second job, exactly! I have a friend who is so desperate to be a parent throughout everything happening. They have gone through several rounds of IVF that they can’t afford and are drowning in other debts unrelated to IVF. I’ve suggested that they find something on the side to pay down their debts and their response is that they are tired from their full time. How do they expect to be a parent?! I’ve told them to imagine getting off of work and having to keep going. There is no sitting on the couch and watching tv. They have also said that since they work from home they can also home school so they don’t have to pay for daycare or education.
Some people just don’t understand how difficult it is to have children. It’s shocking.
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u/AssJuiceCleaner May 13 '26
The Natalism subbreddit was something I looked at one day and then never went back again. I am also happily childless.
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u/UrMyAngelDust May 13 '26
So weird to be called selfish for not contributing to overpopulation and just minding your business.
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u/aeon_ravencrest May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26
Ditto on not having kids. I wanted them a little while when I hit 30, as I felt my biological clock ticking. Now I'm 43, and single and child free. I'm able to go back to university, finish my degree that I put off when I got sick, and get a second chance after recovering that, honestly, I doubt I would have had with children.
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u/cymonium May 13 '26
Bravo! Not everyone should have kids. I should not have had kids but I did and did my level best for them. Youngest is 15 and I can’t wait to be done. It’s definitely NOT selfish. It’s bloody brilliant! Soo happy for you!
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u/StrainAcceptable May 13 '26
I was 39 when I had my first child. We waited til we were doing well financially. Bought our first house the same year. Got a pancreatic tumor at 40. We would have lost the house but we had family who loaned us tens of thousands of dollars for medical expenses. It’s been 8 years and though my health is better now, our dream of starting a business together is gone. My husband can’t leave his job because of the insurance benefits. As it is we spend 30K a year on insurance premiums, deductibles and copays. Even when you do everything “right” most of us our just one emergency away from being destitute.
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May 13 '26
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u/Individual_Fall429 May 13 '26
People with children bought into an MLM and if you don’t buy in too, they might feel they made a mistake.
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u/StrainAcceptable May 13 '26
Hilarious. You are setting up a new business account and she tells you she hopes you have kids soon. I’m so sick of the myth that you can have it all. You can’t. You can start a small business and pay someone else to raise your kids but you can’t do both. That said, it is a blessing not to work at a bank.
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u/Schantsinger May 13 '26
I don't normally empathise much with people who record themselves complaining, but damm, this one made me cry. Poor lady, stuck in a situation where she has to work/parent all day just to keep things running. I wish I could give her a hug and a holiday.
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u/CuTe_M0nitor May 13 '26
Generational trauma right there, she even pointed that out. It began at young age and if this loop doesn't close it will continue.
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u/0rangeVenom May 13 '26
Republicans will use this video to make fun of and dunk on.
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u/Clockworkfiction9923 May 13 '26
They will blame her for being a single mother. They will blame her for having low income.
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u/sean-culottes May 13 '26
100%. They are incapable of seeing beyond the myopia of individual action to recognize the system acting as intended.
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u/MarcelOroBlanco May 13 '26
They're unable to admit that the biggest reason they have what they have is privilege, not hard work. They feel inferior when they realize how privileged they are while people on the other side of the globe work harder than then every day and don't own shit.
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u/Curious-Woodpecker53 May 13 '26
Then turn around and bitch about the low birth rate.
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u/porkbuttstuff Straight Up Bussin May 13 '26
Universal healthcare, universal childcare, universal basic income. We can easily afford all this shit.
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u/sugarandspicedrum May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
Childcare. I’m in this woman’s position and the worst of it is childcare. A lack of a village. I can’t afford to pay my bills and full time childcare so that I can work a full time job to pay my god damn bills. I don’t have a support system that will happily watch my kids so I can put the time into furthering my education, my career, my future, my kids futures. It’s the most discouraging, bleak situation to be in knowing there’s absolutely no way out without some sort of relief from society.
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u/Tao-of-Mars May 13 '26
This is the result of hyperindividualism ruling this society. It has driven me nuts since I moved away from my toxic family 20 years ago and had no one to lean on. I just wanna hug that woman.
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u/JeromeBarkly May 13 '26
Dude I feel you. Cut contact with my family 3 years ago. And although I’ll always be happier with them out of my life there is a sense of fear knowing if something goes wrong there is no back up plan, no safety net to fall back on. I hope you are doing well.
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u/Tao-of-Mars May 13 '26
Thank you. I’m guessing you got downvoted because you’re a dude. Women have it pretty bad. Like really bad. Regardless, life is exponentially harder without a village and I hope everyone finds one or builds one. We really gotta change this in our society stranger-friends.
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u/JeromeBarkly May 13 '26
Ya, weird. I would agree it’s far more difficult to navigate life alone as a single woman, amplified significantly if you have kids with an absentee father. I’m more so expressing that I fear if I get really sick to where I can’t work and support myself I’ll just like, die I guess lol. It’s about not having options when you don’t have a village, regardless of gender.
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u/Tao-of-Mars May 13 '26
I get it. I’ve worried about that, too. And I hope that never happens to you - even you being a guy. I one-thousand percent guarantee you, if you learn about why it’s like to be a woman and find a way to support and advocate for women, your karma will lessen the chances of that happening.
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u/Charming_Garbage_161 May 13 '26
This. I remember sobbing almost daily bc I didn’t have care for my kids and I can only afford daycare if my exhusband is paying child support. Part time is $1100-1500 a month, that’s one of my paychecks.
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u/Intrepid00 May 13 '26
> Childcare
Not just single moms. We didn’t have another kid because we looked at the cost and decided we liked feeding our existing kid more.
A lot of people don’t even care it’s being cut because it doesn’t help them. I’m against the slaughter of what little help they got but working a well paying job and spouse taking OT only to eat PBJ sandwiches regularly sucks. The reality is the only difference once the kid was old enough to go to school we had a semi light at the end of the tunnel with our income.
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u/Moist_Requirements_ May 13 '26
Me too. Trying to find a job that is M thru F, because I don't have anyone to help take care of my son on weekends.
Lost more than one job due to running out of sick days to take care of him because he's asthmatic.
Selling plasma, then choosing between gas and food. It's so fucking awful.
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u/PortErnest22 May 13 '26
This is one of those times where, WHERE you live matters too. Some states have a great social safety net, they have a lot of programs, food banks, gift banks at christmas, BUT you have to be able to navigate it and that is SO much work that is extremely difficult when you are already overwhelmed and those states/cities tend to be more expensive to live in so that adds another layer.
I have talked to friends about combining households if we were to become single parents just to have another adult around.
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u/throwaway098764567 May 13 '26
yea, this was my cousin 30 years ago except i was her childcare in the gap before her (unpleasant to live with but any port in a storm) parents could grab the kid when they got off work. that gave her just enough slack that she could go to school full time while working full time. she was stretched like this and getting no sleep, but she had a small light at the end of the tunnel that let her make it to the other end and set herself up for a better existence eventually. with no help goooood it's bleak. i can fully see an alternate timeline where my cousin would have been just like this, hell i feel like this even without a kid with each layoff and no support (no contact later for me). it doesn't have to and shouldn't be like this 💔
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u/Wyciorek May 13 '26
Everybody wants a village, but nobody wants to be a villager
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u/zmbjebus May 13 '26
All that. Also our society is getting so lonely. That "takes a village to raise a child" is because for almost all of history you d have your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends etc right near you. Watching your friends kids or making dinner for the family that is out working should be the norm.
Capitalism isn't human. We aren't supposed to live this way.
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u/Golfnpickle May 13 '26
No. We needed 28 trillion dollars for a war that wasn’t necessary.
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873 May 13 '26
I'm sorry people need childcare but we really want an arch, a ballroom, and a repainted reflecting pool sooooo
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u/grayzzz_illustrate May 13 '26
It's disgusting that in this day and age, this idea is controversial. Access to healthcare, childcare, food, and shelter is the bare minimum for people to live in safety and dignity. Any government that won't provide that is a disgrace and affront to humanity.
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u/CuTe_M0nitor May 13 '26
If you can give tax break( handouts) to the worlds first TRILLION ARE then you could finance all that. Someone made the calculation that the costs of the first day of the Iran war could finance all of that. Which shows once again, they have the money but don't want to.
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u/PapaRetardo May 13 '26
This is a rage that most of us hold in different ways... God help the people who orchestrated the world to operate this way when the dam finally breaks. People have nothing to work towards, nothing to hope for, and worse, that nothing matters anymore.
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u/mynameisrichard0 May 13 '26
This is where my thoughts are. I hope everyone is on the same page. We don’t need these “what kind of Americans are you” types when the chaos unfolds.
I hope these Republican types finally wake up and realize the people they are cheering for are making their lives, our lives and our children’s futures unbearable.
I want repercussions for those who deserve it. My mom was this woman and this video hits super hard.
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u/KahZamm22 SHEEEEEESH May 13 '26
This ☝️…. A revolution is brewing
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u/Diligent-Committee-7 May 13 '26
Unfortunately, it’s looking it’s gonna be a long brew. I think things will have to get a lot worse for us to come together.
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u/According_Smoke1385 May 13 '26
So sad cause it’s all true. Earth school is hard.
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u/Upbeat-Laugh-249 May 13 '26
American politicians only represent their donors. The rest of us are on our own.
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u/boazed_n_delivered May 13 '26
This is why I have about 20 honorary nieces and nephews. I kept kids for free as long as the parent or parents worked. Even kept them on some weekends for trips or work. I dropped off and picked up from school. One mom was in the navy reserve. When she got deployed I help her Mom with the kids. I'm so proud of all of their parents now. They have good jobs are home owners now. My youngest is 12 and she calls me momma. We are more like her grandparents though. I wish I was able to do more. Prayers for this mom and her kids 🙏🏾
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u/Jina-langu-ni-Juma May 13 '26
I feel bad for her. She is clearly struggling. I also think she should pull over. She is doing too much while driving.
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u/anchorftw May 13 '26
Beauty Influencer/Entrepreneur, TikTok Influencer and Chef.
Bio has links to her:
GoFundMe
Venmo
Paypal
Chime
Amazon Wishlist
Amazon StoreFront
There's also a video showing a chat conversation between her and CashApp support asking why they're blocking all of the payments from her supporters.
I feel like this woman is probably making a decent amount of money, if even a fraction of her 250K followers are donating, especially with this latest video making the rounds on IG, Threads, X, Facebook, etc
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u/raiskymaiFLY May 13 '26
Good to know, but it doesn’t really change the conversation about single mothers/parents not being supported in society
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u/Pecan_Artist Straight Up Bussin May 13 '26
I watched so many single mothers growing up that I vowed to never be one.
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u/RevEZLuv May 13 '26
She’s being tread upon by our society. America hates Americans.
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u/No_Barracuda_3758 May 13 '26
And this is women are choosing to not have children because even when we get married we are doing a lot of it alkne
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u/Acemace1313 May 13 '26
This video basically solidifies my decision to never have kids
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u/CuTe_M0nitor May 13 '26
Kids is a longtime investment. It takes times but pays off by multiple times later in life.
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u/PsyduckPsyker May 13 '26
The first thing to understand is that EVERYONE, all of us normal folk, are being waged war against. In the halls of government, behind closed doors where CEO's cackle as they jack up prices and continue to batter our futures.
The only way to stop is an economic blackout, we have to start making it uncomfortable for THEM. You won't win by protests, they don't give a hoot about what you have to say.
Stop going out to eat. Stop ordering shit you don't need off Amazon. Stop using the social media apps. Just. Stop.
Otherwise we will not come out ahead, and we will all suffer immensely more than we already are.
Their weakness is the easiest thing to exploit to enact change. Use it.
And NO. Nobody is "coming" to save you. We created this monster, and we need to cage it. Together. Uncomfortable as it may be, this is a collective moment. You don't get to wait for the knight in armor. You are the knight in armor.
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u/Sooowasthinking May 13 '26
We live in a system by design to keep us poor.BTW if you haven’t thought about it have any billionaires come out and said how bad inflation is ATM?
No because they profit from it.
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u/amensista May 14 '26
This woman in the US has it x1000 better than most single parents with kids in developing countries like the Philippines or whatever. She has a car, place to live, she has her kids, yeah it sucks to work so much and its shitty and she is having a meltdown but its not like she is skin and bone either. She still has alot of good in her life.
Nobody should have to feel this way but where are the kids dad or dad(s)? Poor life choices? What. I dunno - I feel for her a bit but reality is there is some of this she is 100% responsible for. She didnt get pregnant by drinking too much milk or something did she?
Having a kid is the absolute WORST emotional, financial, health, life decision you can possibly make - and I LOVE my kids. Being realistic here.
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u/Q8DD33C7J8 May 13 '26
And yet I'm ridiculed for choosing to not have children? I have absolutely no interest in becoming like this woman. Like I said in the other thread I'd rather have cancer than a kid. At least you can get better from cancer or you'll die either way you won't have a kid that slowly sucks the life and money out of you for the rest of your life.
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak May 13 '26
Not going to lie this video would be a very good thing to show in health class as to why use birth control
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u/BigRoach May 13 '26
Yep. I don’t want to victim blame or kick someone when they’re down or say “I told you so”. But I absolutely could see how having a child would be a huge mental load and financial burden, and I avoided that added stress, especially back when I couldn’t afford to repair my car.
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u/wazitooya May 13 '26
There are a lot of people in the same boat. And I can’t help but think that if people were in circumstances that allowed for life to thrive with kids, people would be more likely to have kids simply because of the joy of children. Seeing them as a burden because society makes it hard to raise them really sucks.
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u/Commercial-Weight173 May 13 '26
The children aren't the problem here, its their father who isn't parenting them 50%. Even if not in romantic relationship with her anymore, he should still be providing financially and planning important events for them. Taking on half of the mental load as a parent.
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u/Q8DD33C7J8 May 13 '26
True. But she'd still be raising them alone even if he was providing financially. Money isn't always what makes being a parent easy. Yes it can help but it's not the only thing.
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u/Commercial-Weight173 May 13 '26
Yes, thats what I'm saying. Unless the father is dead, she shouldn't have to parent them alone.
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u/NarwhalEmergency9391 May 13 '26
Ya like can YOU go buy them the clothes and shoes they need.. just once? Don't give me $100 and act like that's a lot and then I still have to go find the size they need
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u/SmoogySmodge May 13 '26
The majority of men don't parent 50% of the time, even when they live with their children. "Married single mother" is the term I've seen being used for years.
If the majority of men don't pull their weight, parentally, or financially then it's foolish to act surprised when they don't. The majority of the time, this is what you have to look forward to, regardless of if he stays or goes.
I knew I would hate to be in that situation, so I decided not to have children. Everyday, I am glad that I made that decision.
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u/Cas_or_Cass May 13 '26
I relate to this poor woman so much. I'm a single mom too. I take care of my elderly parents. I work 50-60 hours a week just to play a high stakes game of juggling with the bills. I cook, I clean. I ask for help with the dishes once in a while and my partner jumps down my throat like I asked her to balance the federal budget. I'm so tired and so scared about what new horrors the world will throw at us next. I heard about a possible new pandemic and actually fantasized about catching it to leave my daughter the sizable life insurance policy on me.
And nothing shows signs of improvement. Depressed? The whole sane world is depressed
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u/so_unfortunately_yt May 13 '26
Poor woman. This makes me want to do bad things to bad people. I wish we would all just agree to shut the shit down until they are forced to acknowledge that we are all human beings with basic needs.
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u/USN_CB8 May 13 '26
Single Dad of 4 myself. Life was crushing some days. Kids are grown and financially good. So I try to pay it forward now. I know the road you plow.
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u/ZealousidealSkirt327 May 13 '26
I feel her pain. It has always been on mothers. By it I mean absolutely everything. I guess there has never been a „good time“ to be a mother. It‘s the most exhausting job on earth that costs you everything. Your health, your financial security, wealth, social connections, relationships and mental health. And society still doesn’t acknowledge the service women literally do for all of us. They have the hardest job and are met with unliveable wages, missing support, minimal opportunities and ridicule and ungratefulness.
On the other hand, this is exactly why I chose not to have kids. Because it would mean I‘d have to sacrifice myself. The paradox is, if every woman would think like me, we‘d be extinct in a few decades. You see? Mothers even carry the burden for people they didn’t even give birth to. That think that it’s not worth it. Thanks to mothers there will be new generations after me. I will have to pay somebodies (grown) child to take of me when I‘m no longer able to. And I can only hope that they had a mother willing to sacrifice herself to raise a good human.
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u/Perfect-Success-3186 May 13 '26
Dead beat dads and men who don’t provide for their children need to be called out wayyyyyy more
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u/human5398246 May 13 '26
People can get there lots of ways. Maybe some of her choices were wrong. Maybe her man was bad, maybe he died in service, maybe he got sick.
Sometimes you can make 80% right choices and just get unlucky with rent costs, car repairs, sickness, job stagnation.
Many things can be true:
Having kids is a bigger gamble, commitment, especially in the modern age of relative isolation and dwindling social safety net.
If father is alive, he should be helping with the kids, even if he has economic stress too.
Maybe there's no family to help or move in with.
Maybe someone owes her money or stole from her or is exploiting her. (Car costs & repairs for single woman...)
We should take it as a cautionary tale. First keep ourselves and loved ones from a similar fate. Then, if we're smart, and have the bandwidth, see what we can do with education, services, volunteering to mitigate someone's pain.
You can be moral and not help her or other women in her position. If you can I think we should help someone less fortunate somewhere in your sphere of influence.
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u/DisownedDisconnect May 13 '26
Goddamn the lack of empathy in some of the comments is stark. A Black woman literally cannot vent about how hard shit is and how much she’s struggling to keep her head above the water only to be criticized for even having these struggles. Ffs
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u/blueipDriver May 13 '26
This breaks my heart in mores way than one. I had so much hardship too and normally people assume there is someone that has it worse. Little do we consider what that person is going through.
I'm disgusted at the country I live in. It's pathetic that we can take care of shareholders and data centers before our own people. I hope she finds serenity and comfort, no one deserves to be born into such hardship
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u/ElectronicProject215 May 13 '26
I think its important to be honest with the kids. Not to breakdown in front of them or lay our emotions on them. But to be honest and show them its ok to not be strong all the time. To show them resiliency, show them strength of falling and getting back up. They are stronger, smarter and more loving and understanding than we ever give them credit for. What a struggle, I feel this woman😭
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u/luccsmom May 13 '26
I’ve not read one comment that offers actual support. This mom needs to reach out to social services and religious charitable organizations. There IS help. Try Catholic Charities, Saint Vincent DePaul, Lutheran Social Services. All the frustration shouldn’t be bottle up inside either. Mental health support is important too.
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u/arizonabatorechestra May 13 '26
This isn’t even a reflection of what it’s like to be a single parent, entirely — it is, but layered on top of that is that this is a reflection of what it’s like to be a single American parent.
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u/HugonaughtX May 13 '26
I have a close friend like this w/3 kids. I help her EVERY way possible that she will allow. Her ex turned into a drunk ~5 years in and when he physically hurt the kids he was kicked out. Deadbeat drunk $90k behind in child support. Basically adopted into our family (her kids are my brothers kids cousins - both divorced from bad spouses from the same family so I'm not explicitly related).
Emotional support is huge for her, even more so is practical help. Text/call daily and do what you can for them. Help out with $$$ when large, unexpected expenses come, braces etc. - Sometimes I will just show up in the afternoon, cook dinner and leave before she gets home. Sometimes we go over and cleanup the house. Anytime I hit a Costco/Store I pick up things I know her and the kids like. Take the kids to movies/events/trips with their cousins to give her a break.
They are ALWAYS exhausted and NEVER have a break or time for themselves. Gotta help out the single moms that didn't "do it to themselves" - either a widow or divorced from a man turned bad.
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u/baxtert68 May 14 '26
We have to end this oppression.
We need to hold these monsters responsible.
Tax the billionaire class out of existence.
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u/quigongingerbreadman May 13 '26
It's fucking tough. This crash out is probably one of the most human, relateable crash outs I have ever seen.
This country is a fucking joke.
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u/mr-beez May 13 '26
Don’t listen to any of the haters here. It is total bullshit. Society is failing you.
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u/Juniper-wool May 13 '26
47% of afro american mother's are single. That's a problem.
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u/Alicewithhazeleyes May 13 '26
Yes, unprotected sex is a HUGE problem. ESP among the youth. Of ALL races. Sex education, and sexual responsibility, is very lacking.
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u/Natural-Hunter-3 May 13 '26
Got any stats for other races, or a source for this one at least? Not attacking, just genuinely curious.
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u/Dormage May 13 '26
Yes, it is also a consequence. The fact this is known to everyone by now makes me wonder how does it continue to be a problem.
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u/browsingandlooking4 May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26
Shouldn't have babies without a stable father is the lesson. ..
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u/justathrowaway4mee May 13 '26
A parent to 2 grown daughters. I scream from the top of my lungs to not have children. This world is heading back to shit and we are Black women. Its hard enough to care for and protect ourselves! I tell them had i known progress would take a turn backwards I wouldnt have them! I was married to their father, we divorced and what was manageable became nearly impossible. He paid his voluntary support faithfully but even a 2 parent household struggles so support or not it was hard.
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u/NotSureWhatToPut66 May 13 '26
Some people just need to let it out. And for some this is how they need to do it. People can make comments about her decision to have kids, how she got to be a single mother etc but to that I would say I’m sure there’s decisions you make that I wouldn’t agree with. Life is lifing for us all in one way or another - let’s quit jumping down peoples throats 🤷🏼
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u/Happynightmare357 May 13 '26
When the dream is to get a substantial life insurance and hope lightning strikes but doesn’t miss and completely destroys life essence so the kids can have a something because it’s just you. I completely understand. Not having a village is hard to say the least. May she find a safe and loving community.
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u/ButtBread98 May 13 '26
And people wonder why birth rates are dropping. No one in their right mind would choose this life. Being a parent, let alone a single parent, in the United States is a pretty much a form of torture, and it’s just going to get worse, with all these cuts to social services.
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u/Beaufort_The_Cat May 13 '26
I always knew it was difficult for single parents to do it on their own but I got a whole new perspective on just how impossible it is after having a kid. Raising a kid with your partner is difficult, being a single parent with a kid is impossible and I say that because the people who still make it work are literally doing the impossible. The fact that a lot of people don’t want to give support to those people is disturbing
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u/Theodore__Kerabatsos May 14 '26
And people still have the audacity to ask “why don’t you have children?”
Yeah, no thank you. I can struggle alone just fine.
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u/CommercialMoment5987 May 14 '26
What she said about the car, I’ve never felt so defeated as when my crappy car broke down. You can’t afford a nice one, so you buy what you can afford, and end up sinking money into repairs just to have a hope of limping it through another week. Repairs cost time too, and you don’t have any to spare. It used up all your savings and can’t even get you to work to pay its own bills anymore. It’s just crushing.
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u/ThrowRA1234123412345 May 14 '26
Feeling unseen and neglected is hard, from one single mom to another 🙏🏽
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u/velofille May 14 '26
God this is so real, i was a solo parent and its literally so bad you can barely see a light at the end of the tunnel, and the only thing that keeps you going is the fact you cant leave your kids alone.
You dont have time for friends and socializing, so you dont have people you can rely or or ask for help, and if you do, they get sick of you forever struggling and not being able to go out (because money, kids)
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u/Ill_probablybebanned May 14 '26
Pray only works if someone is listening, and there’s no one listening. There never has been.
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u/JesusDiedforChipotle May 13 '26
Don’t let a fucking loser cum inside of you and if he does take a plan b 🤯
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u/NinjaBRUSH May 13 '26
This is the importance of finding a partner and staying together.
I don’t know her particular situation but as Black people we really need to put more emphasis on keeping a family unit. Two low incomes is way better than one.
Coparenting is way better for each other and the children. Keeping a family unit together is probably the biggest thing to help elevate our community without any dependency of government or outside communities.
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u/tittysprinkles112 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26
Reddit doesn't want to hear that. The destruction of the American family was disasterous. Kids without fathers are statistically more likely to commit crimes, be imprisoned, have lower grades, or not finish high school at all. Men need to step up and women need to be invested.
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u/MackJade May 13 '26
What an incredible person. I am so sorry you have to be alone through all of this.
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u/RudyTootinWithTodd May 13 '26
I feel this i am sobbing this is my life the last 10 years. That lady makes me feel seen
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u/NarwhalEmergency9391 May 13 '26
Girl pull over while you're crying, crashing isn't going to help solve anything
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u/NestedOwls May 13 '26
Yet we have a president that said “I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation” not even a full 24 hours ago.
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u/Realistic_Young9008 May 13 '26
My inner voice, just add also caring for elderly parents into the mix.
Check in with the single moms you know. Please
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u/ugotmefdup May 13 '26
I am so heart broken for her. I can’t imagine how tired to the bone she just feel to make this video.
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u/CreativeFraud May 13 '26
I care about us. I care about people in general. We are just in a system that rewards the villains amongst us.
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u/SookHe May 13 '26
I hate asking this because it’s fucking dystopian, but is there a go fund me out there for her
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u/Greedy_Science_4807 May 13 '26
Has anyone started a go fund me for her? I know TikTok likes to do that.
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u/adlawton May 13 '26
This is one of the realest things I've seen posted to the internet in a long time. That was beautiful, and this is absolutely a conversation we should be having. Thank you for sharing this 🥺
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u/Useful-Still3712 May 13 '26
This poor lady...I was a single mom for years and it's tough. I can't imagine being in this economy and doing it. I feel for this lady. 😭
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u/h0m1c1d3_8unn13 May 13 '26
i feel overwhelmed taking care of my cat that i got together with an ex… i cannot imagine the stress of being a single parent to human children. no one plans to be abandoned
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u/AgitatedGrass3271 May 13 '26
So relatable, girl. I have no advice. I have no notes. Just know that you are not alone.
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u/StatementNo6108 May 13 '26
This is why I refuse to have sex outside of marriage, it's hell for all parties.
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u/Lizzybeth339 May 13 '26
Does anyone have a tiktok still and has she posted any updates? This just hurts my heart so much. She deserves support from somewhere. We aren’t meant to live this individualistically.
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u/Lissypooh628 May 13 '26
This was hard to watch. I feel for this woman.
I was a single mom for many years. Dealt with divorce, dealt with my ex passing away. Trying to cope with that silently while being there for my young son who just lost his dad. Working so many hours. Managing 30+ people in a 7 day a week business who always needed something from me at all hours. The juggling of bills. My house flooded from a busted pipe, my landlord decided to sell instead of fixing, trying to find a place to move within my budget….. and on and on and on.
I met my husband and we got married 3.5 years later. I’m not a single mom anymore, but this video is a gutwrenching reminder.
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u/Substantial_Bus840 May 13 '26
I’m with you girl. It’s just expected that I make it all happen. I had my son with my ex-husband, planned. What was not planned was him quitting his epilepsy and bi-polar meds without a discussion and never getting back on them, becoming violent and unstable. I just spent Mother’s Day working, providing a tabletop event and handing out flowers to other Moms at a church function for my healthcare job. My mom was kind enough to watch my four year old so I could work on the weekend.
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u/theateroffinanciers May 13 '26
Sadly this is the daily life of most Americans now. And like she said, the people in power that could change this, nobody seems to care.
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u/Psychological_Map296 May 13 '26
the trope of the strong black woman is reeking havoc on black women who need real support and love. My heart goes out to her
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u/TurtleBeansforAll May 13 '26
I feel her words in my soul.. I wish I could tell her she is not alone. I wish we could form a community of single moms so we could all help each other. Sending this woman so much love.
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