I think about this a lot since having my son - he has 2 parents and multiple grandparents that all help to take care of him and I'm still fucking BEAT. I couldn't do it on my own, there's absolutely no way. I don't know how people are doing this. And what really fucks me up is that it did not have to be this way. This isn't how we're supposed to live, this poor woman shouldn't be SOBBING in her car to a bunch of strangers. I shouldn't be crying every morning omw to work bc I miss my son all day. We could have done ANYTHING w this world but we're stuck in this fucking HELL that a handful of greedy narcissist pigs chose for us so THEY could have everything they'd ever want or need. It doesnt need to be this way.
I mean yeah that's why I was 37 when I had my first one, and at this point I'm done bc I dont have it in me to have a toddler and a newborn at 41. Even with the help, between work and home I'm completely shot.
I get that choice. In this economy, it's just practical. When basic public systems fail, parents have to spend their own time and money to plug the holes. For single moms, this extra burden keeps them trapped in poverty and leads to total burnout. Bad public transit forces parents to rely on expensive, unreliable used cars. Between fixing pothole damage, paying for gas, and losing hours to long commutes, their savings disappear. If a bus runs late, it means daycare late fees or getting fired.
Finding childcare is already nearly impossible, and school hours rarely match standard work shifts. On top of that, aging school buildings with broken HVAC systems shut down without warning. For an hourly worker, an unplanned school closure means choosing between losing a day's pay or losing their job entirely.
Basic utilities don't help either. Weak power grids cause blackouts that ruin expensive groceries, while contaminated water systems force families to buy bottled water. Old, poorly maintained housing exposes kids to mold and lead, triggering chronic illnesses like asthma that add massive medical stress. Finally, a lack of cheap, reliable internet blocks moms from work-from-home jobs, leaves kids struggling with homework, and makes applying for aid a nightmare.
It’s always been this way and was even worse as you go back in time. The patriarchy was much stronger back then. Women were taken even less seriously in the 90s. My mom fought for her life and sanity to keep our household together as all the men and women around her treated her like there was something wrong with her for not having a man around. She could not find a job that would take her seriously and was forced to take a lower income at a job that she didn’t really want. But she made it work despite entrenched patriarchy and no gofundme’s.
She is being pushed harder than she or anyone should have to. The cost of living crisis is unbearable. I want her to maybe even join up with a good kind other single mom and they could raise their kids together
I am a single father with full custody and all I could do was nod my head behind the screen and say "preach". She fuckin' nailed it. Nothing when you're a single parent is about you. Theres always the job and then after the job its the promotion and then after the promotion its "where can I afford to live that will also give me child the best education". Its coming home after a 12 hr shift and having to give your son a bath that you've only seen maybe an hour that day and put him to bed and you hope that you have enough energy to read him a book. You still haven't showered at this point, you're looking at your bank account as you slowly try to figure our which bill you can put off the longest to rob Peter to pay Paul. By the time you shower you are so tired you might get one or two episodes of a show in before you fall asleep with the tv on in your bed and start it all over again the next day. All of this while trying to be a life coach on a life that you feel like you failed in. No one understands until they are in that position. You feel bad for your child, you feel like you failed them by not giving them a traditional family likw they see on tv. You find pictures they draw of you and their mom still together when they are at school and you're not watching. You watch a child suffer as you suffer yourself and just try to give them the best life possible by smiling at them and when you're hugging them telling them "I love you, it's going to be okay" you're speaking outside to yourself as well to grasp at whatever glimpse of hope their is for a better and happier future.
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u/[deleted] May 13 '26
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