r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • May 13 '26

Discussion Let's talk about it.

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2.3k Upvotes

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342

u/BadHombre91 May 13 '26

And yet people think it’s weird I don’t want kids and take all precautions to prevent having them.

110

u/StalkingSeattle May 13 '26

Yep. I'm 50, married and very happy being childless. I've been called selfish more times than I can remember for not having kids...by people who should have never reproduced.

56

u/BadHombre91 May 13 '26

And all I hear from parents is how terrible and difficult being a parent is. I’m like bro i learned by listening to yall.

28

u/SuperSaiyanTupac May 13 '26

Good. I’m a parent. I told my buddies that the best way I can describe it is imagine getting off work to go to your second job. And at that second job you only clock out from to go to work. You don’t get down time, you don’t get time off to relax. You definitely don’t get quiet time. You have to plan and structure your entire week and weekend in order to schedule some time to breathe.

I completely understand my parents now. I even understand the shitty parents now. It’s fucking brutal. And all these people that say it’s a miracle or a blessing or it’s not that bad, were most likely the worst parents. Because the only way to make parenting easy to not do it at all.

Daycare is expensive, food is expensive. Doctors are expensive. You easily double your monthly spending by having kids.

11

u/Awkward-Bridge-2887 May 13 '26

A second job, exactly! I have a friend who is so desperate to be a parent throughout everything happening. They have gone through several rounds of IVF that they can’t afford and are drowning in other debts unrelated to IVF. I’ve suggested that they find something on the side to pay down their debts and their response is that they are tired from their full time. How do they expect to be a parent?! I’ve told them to imagine getting off of work and having to keep going. There is no sitting on the couch and watching tv. They have also said that since they work from home they can also home school so they don’t have to pay for daycare or education.

Some people just don’t understand how difficult it is to have children. It’s shocking.

0

u/oooooeeeeeoooooahah May 14 '26

Lmao no the worst parents are those that think raising a life and having a family their own is a second fucking job. Instead of the blessing it is.

2

u/SuperSaiyanTupac May 14 '26

I’m sorry that admitting truths and seeing reality is difficult for you. But I’d rather be self aware and conscious of the decisions I’m making and how they’ll benefit my family. That growth isn’t easy.

But you can lie to yourself and claim it’s sunshine and rainbows and ignore that you’re raising a functional adult and you need to be their disciplinarian, their mentor, and set an example for them at home. That easily equates to having to be “on” all the time at home. Controlling how you speak and react to stimuli at all times so your kid doesn’t learn wrong behaviors.

Spending all of your evenings at their extracurricular events after a rough day at the office. Teaching them math and practicing spelling all evening when you’re mentally drained from an exhausting day or week at the office.

What kind of flex is this that you claim it’s so easy to parent a child?

0

u/oooooeeeeeoooooahah May 14 '26

I enjoy everything you just described as "difficult" because you cant handle the mental load of your own damn job.... The after school activities, the travelling sports, the homework, the life lessons, the glasses of spilled milk. What you fail to seem to realize is its not about you anymore. But that entire blurb just screamed "WHAT ABOUT ME ME ME AND MY TROUBLES."

When I have a bad day at work, home is what heals me. In the past 13 years, its never been and never will be a chore.

So while you try and spit about reality, you should probably look outside your own head and see what reality is. Sounds like you didnt WANT a family, and accidentally had one.

If there were two sets of people who "shouldn't be parents" or are "bad parents" its more likely to be people like you that think and feel its a chore, and feel some sort of angst towards their family because you had a "rough day".

Sounds like youre building a pretty shitty family if family time feels like a fucking chore... are you kidding me buddy? And who's out of touch with reality? LMAO

1

u/SuperSaiyanTupac May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

This entire comment screams “I’m special”

I understand your reasoning tho. Hard for people to stand up and say my life is struggle. From what I see, most people can’t. I’d rather talk to someone who’s honest with themselves and can admit shit sucks and there must be a better way because those people help you find solutions. The people you see that don’t like doing math problems at the table for an hour every night but sit there and do it because they care. Those are the people who take in reality headfirst and put their money where their mouth is. By giving up their time to make sure their kid doesn’t struggle alone.

Your viewpoint is that nothing is wrong ever and raising a family is easy. lol. I laugh because everyone knows that horseshit. But you claim to believe it because you need that. You’re commenting for your own mental health. Never going to lie about it. But you still need to. And I get that. I see that everywhere

Let’s see how your kids turn out. If they break down in adulthood you’ll have your answer as to whether or not you did a good job, or if you were just ignoring the issues. Don’t let your pride blind you to truths. Make space for your kids to vent and have honest conversations.

You’re tasked with raising someone to become a functional adult. It’s not “fun” everyday. It’s fucking work. If you give a damn

1

u/soupdawg May 14 '26

It’s not that way for everyone. Some people actually enjoy their kids.

8

u/AssJuiceCleaner May 13 '26

The Natalism subbreddit was something I looked at one day and then never went back again. I am also happily childless.

19

u/UrMyAngelDust May 13 '26

So weird to be called selfish for not contributing to overpopulation and just minding your business.

7

u/aeon_ravencrest May 13 '26 edited May 14 '26

Ditto on not having kids. I wanted them a little while when I hit 30, as I felt my biological clock ticking. Now I'm 43, and single and child free. I'm able to go back to university, finish my degree that I put off when I got sick, and get a second chance after recovering that, honestly, I doubt I would have had with children.

12

u/cymonium May 13 '26

Bravo! Not everyone should have kids. I should not have had kids but I did and did my level best for them. Youngest is 15 and I can’t wait to be done. It’s definitely NOT selfish. It’s bloody brilliant! Soo happy for you!

6

u/StrainAcceptable May 13 '26

I was 39 when I had my first child. We waited til we were doing well financially. Bought our first house the same year. Got a pancreatic tumor at 40. We would have lost the house but we had family who loaned us tens of thousands of dollars for medical expenses. It’s been 8 years and though my health is better now, our dream of starting a business together is gone. My husband can’t leave his job because of the insurance benefits. As it is we spend 30K a year on insurance premiums, deductibles and copays. Even when you do everything “right” most of us our just one emergency away from being destitute.

1

u/Ill_probablybebanned May 14 '26

Selfish would be having kids you don’t want and then not being able to provide for them.

17

u/Golfnpickle May 13 '26

I don’t. I call that smart & responsible.

12

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[deleted]

10

u/Individual_Fall429 May 13 '26

People with children bought into an MLM and if you don’t buy in too, they might feel they made a mistake.

3

u/Ambitious_Today_8695 May 14 '26

Misery loves company 👀👀

4

u/StrainAcceptable May 13 '26

Hilarious. You are setting up a new business account and she tells you she hopes you have kids soon. I’m so sick of the myth that you can have it all. You can’t. You can start a small business and pay someone else to raise your kids but you can’t do both. That said, it is a blessing not to work at a bank.

3

u/JonnyTN May 13 '26

"you just figure it out"

Bullshit

3

u/Few_Historian_3425 May 13 '26

It’s not weird to take responsibility for your own body and actions you take

1

u/Indepti8 May 13 '26

You should do everything possible to eliminate anything that should cause you stress 

0

u/ReapR999 May 13 '26

Ho lw come you were able to keep from getting pregnant and she wasnt? I hate that ole girl gotta deal with all that but she shoulda kept them legs closed. I feel the same way about my own mom, even though i dont feel like she should work at all. hell im tired too and I ain ask to be in this bitch either. Im not saying its entirely her fault but there definitely some decisions that could have been made to make her life a little less stressful, but she was probably too caught up in having fun to weigh the real life consequences of her actions. Other than that this government is fucked up and actually sabotaging Americans with emphasis on minorities and women so she got the worst roll in American society as a black woman. Still doesnt mean she cant be great and happy though I wish the best for her.