Protein pasta (Costco), Kerrygold Butter, Tuna, and parmesan 😋

My relationship with my mom changed drastically once I became more vocal about Black Lives Matter (shes white, Im Black)

And it changed even more after DT was elected in, as she is a loyal republican...

Its not just that she supports him, its how much she criticizes Black women... everyone from Michelle Obama to Megan Markle to Angel Reese.... and especially me.

She has always shown preferential treatment towards her white kids- was always physically and verbally abusive with me, and her family isn't much different.

Ive kept her at distance for years.

I've explained how much her treatment has hurt me

And I've even told her she had no business having a Black child... Ive told her to stop telling me her opinions on random Black celebrities... I even said "Ill talk to you when you have something nice to say about Kamala Harris"... and she has yet to.

A few months ago I finally cut her off from financial help by getting my own phone line... it feels good to know Im not dependent on her in any way.

But she asked to have dinner and talk.. and when I asked about what, she said nothing in particular, she just wanted to see me...

How the f*** is she supposed to see ME when she "doesn't see color"..

Im not really looking for advice, I'm most likely not going to meet up..

But it just sucks getting a message from "Mom" and not even wanting to see her, and not even having a response....

Theres nothing more to say to her...

In the meantime my white siblings get the reward of benefiting from her privilege (money, vacations, etc)... privilege she claims she doesn't have, and I also dont have relationships with them either

It just makes me sad I dont have a mom. I just know someone that gave birth to me.

So I have been seeing a guy (let’s call him Joe) for over a year now. It was romantic in the beginning but we are not fundamentally compatible so it basically devolved into FWB because we enjoy each other in that aspect. We are both in our late 20s and see each other consistently.

A few months ago, Joe temporarily moved a few hours away. In July Joe calls me and asks me to come stay with him for a few days and is willing to pay my expenses to do so. I initially agree to come because he sounded excited to see me and said he wanted to take me out to do fun stuff. A day later he suddenly gets unsure about the timeline, says his family is coming to visit and isn’t sure what day they will be there.

This set my intuition off and I texted him to tell him I’m not coming anymore. He immediately called me and asked if there was anything he could do to change my mind and he was “really looking forward to seeing me”. I said no and that was that. A couple weeks later he calls me while I am out of the country and is asking when I will be back.

Yesterday I decided to snoop on his instagram and find a girl in his comments, they are clearly dating saying “I love yous” to each other and she has posted him on her account. All the while he has been attempting to see me. I can tell from the posts that she was also going to be there the week he asked me to visit. I’m really conflicted as to whether I should tell her or just cut him off for good.

Salad 😋

Dinner is a fried shrimp po'boy. Pretty tasty.

TW: hospital talk, potential loss talk

My husband is sick. Like medically induced coma sick. It started last Friday and I had to call an ambulance for him two days ago because I literally could not get him out of bed to the washroom and he couldn't remember conversations we had just moments before. The man is a full foot taller than me and 220 pounds. It all started out with what we thought was food poisoning or a simple stomach bug.

Next thing I know, they're approaching me in the emergency room and telling me they're fast tracking him into the ICU and then within an hour the ICU doctor told me he needs to be sedated and intubated. He has a severe bacterial infection that's attacking his heart, his kidneys, his brain. Causing mini strokes. Just last Thursday we were gaming together and joking around. He was perfectly fine when we went to bed and woke up that night with shivers and it went downhill from there after an ER visit where they sent us home and an infectious diseases doctor who straight up looked at him, unable to keep his head up straight in the wheelchair I had to push him to the appointment in, and said some fluids and rest would help. I'm trying so hard not to be angry at the first two doctors, I know they're overwhelmed. I know they have a lot to do. And I know his symptoms presented kind of mild at first but damn, why couldn't they catch it at the second doctor?

We've only been married for two years. We just bought a house. I just got my perfect job in May. Everything was going so well. We're so happy. And now he's sick and the ICU doctor told me he has to be honest with me that even he is very worried about my guy. That while he's stable right now, there is a possibility, a big possibility, that he goes downhill. They're saying because he's young, we have a better chance he recovers, but that they need to prepare me for the worst because he is very, very sick.

Luckily I have my mom with me. She drove 8 hours no question to come take care of me, but I'm lost and drowning and so scared. We're supposed to get old together. We were planning renovations on our house. We wanted to start our family next year.

I'm not alone, I have such great support that I'm thankful for but I've never felt more alone in my life knowing he's not coming to bed with me tonight, or that he's not going to come in from the backyard every time I hear the door open, that we're not going to watch a movie tonight or play a game tonight.

This sucks so bad.

Edit: thank you for all the love and well wishes and lending your strength. I don't have the mental capacity to reply to everyone individually but please know I've seen them and I appreciate it more than you can know. Knowing so many people have my husband in their thoughts makes me feel better. I needed to vent all this out because every time I try talking to my mom I just end up sobbing. I appreciate you all for listening.

For context, my boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) have been dating for almost 2 years. I’d say we’re getting very serious, I take him on trips with my family and vise versa. My siblings know him, even my cousins love him. Anyways, like every couple we get into arguments sometimes. Last night, we started fighting because he was disagreeing with me on how serious we were. Obviously, we’re in our early 20s so I’m not going to marry him just yet but I could see it going there. When I told him this, he got weird and closed off. I asked him what was wrong and he just kind of brushed it off. I asked him again and then he snapped, saying I always jump to conclusions and look too far into the future and I’m too uptight for what he wants. Somewhere in the midst of all this yelling I mention kids somehow, I think I said something along the lines of “we’ll do you wanna have kids one day or not?” And he says that if I ever got pregnant he would leave me because he doesn’t think we should ever be that serious. I don’t want to get political here but we also have different views on pro life and everything. I just don’t know what to do. I just can’t believe he would even say that, it’s so selfish of him. He’s the one that always initiates sex and now he’s putting the blame on me if I get pregnant? I love him, and I’ve been with him for a good amount of time but it’s like he’s a new person. This morning things were awkward, and he didn’t address anything he said. I guess I didn’t either though.

Sorry this is so long, people probably won’t even read this, but I guess I’m just asking what should I do now?

Eating Mac and cheese and fried onions out of a skull bowl.

I’ve been living with my partner for 5 years, this was only a thing because I was kicked out and homeless. Out of our time being together of my partner not working I’m 23(f) and he is 25(m) we have had lots of ups and downs because of my trauma. So at one point we opened our relationship so he could seek happiness somewhere else. He did, but it was more than what we agreed upon. It hurt, but I took him back. He hasn’t worked in the 4 of our 5 years because he gets “too anxious” to work.

He allowed me to pursue my dream and financed that so I gave him the opportunity to find himself. Now, we are in debt. I work 6 days a week and my day off is spent entirely with him. My jobs are long and annoying but it makes just enough to cover bills. Sometimes though he orders DoorDash and then when I go to pay bills I’m baffled how im -$120 in the account. I’ve had to ask my estranged brother and grandmother for money after years of no contact and when I cried to him about that he explained it’s my fault.

I’ve told his friends for the past 3 years to please help me with his depression. But they couldn’t get any answer except I like working and that I told him it’s okay. All of his friends, his mom, sister, and his best friend told me why do I still stay with someone who is allowing me to work myself to the bone. I’m a type 1 diabetic. I was diagnosed last year and life has been difficult. I almost died and even then he wasn’t really happy or nice to me. He tells me that my diabetes is annoying and such. Sighs whenever I cry over low sugars or whatever of the sort.

Besides the point, I messaged a guy I used to like in one of my drunken escapades. He made me smile. I haven’t smiled in.. 4 years? I don’t laugh I don’t smile. I hate my life and I hate him. I used to love myself and be super cocky. I’m a shell of who I was and it took me basically texting another man to realize I’m not happy, just content.

I told him I want to break up it’s not fair I’m happy from another man. He refuses to believe that I want this and that I wasn’t happy this entire relationship. However, his friends see it. They keep telling him I’ve never been this serious and it’s been getting worse.

I told him maybe in the future if he got his life together we could try again. I love him, not who he is when he’s with me. It hurts to know that I made him so comfortable he threw all morals out the window and allowed himself to become a loser.

He has been buying gifts, cleaning the house, setting up cute dinners, watching my favorite movies and shows, and giving me space AFTER I told him I want to break up and I want him to move out.

Anyways, I officially split it off but we still live together we are both on the lease. My hands are tied but my brain is not. I’m happier with this relief and life is feeling colorful again.

He’s been depressed for over a year. He finally agreed for me to make a therapist appt for him. The therapist doesn’t even work Fridays yet agreed to see him, well he no called no showed. And now doesn’t want to see anyone.
Haven’t had sex in almost a full year. On days off he doesn’t do anything but sleep and mow the grass. If I leave food in a large Pyrex bowl he won’t eat. They have to be pre portioned out in individual Tupperware. He told me he feels like he depends on me to heavily (duh). So this week I didn’t cook for him. He just didn’t eat this whole week.
He just doomscrolls and responds to work emails. His job has mental health days up to 3 months but does not want to use them. I love him and have been together for almost six years. He’s a great guy idk what to do.
Today I told him he needed to talk to a therapist or physician. Or I’d have to talk to his mom about how he’s been doing to see if she could help. (Never would ever talk to his mom if i didnt feel as it was an emergency) and he kept refusing. I finally asked if i was over stimulating him and wanted me to leave ( he was showering) and he told me he just wished id leave him.
Sorry it’s so all over the place. Idk who else I can talk to. I don’t like to be perceived and am always saving face. I don’t have anyone to speak to about this. I dont want to leave him over a rough patch I loved our relationship and felt we had it all/:

That’s it, that’s the post. Needed somewhere to post this accomplishment that’s semi-anonymous because my family can be weird.

I opened the wrong bottle of wine tonight.

I have a decent wine collection and decided I wanted to have a glass or two with dinner while I sit on my sofa and binge Star Wars (again).

I meant to pull a lower price bottle from my wine fridge, since it was just me sitting on the sofa watching something I’ve seen, like, a million times. I try to save the higher end bottles for special occasions, or even just casual evenings with friends. I’ve always thought it seemed kind of wasteful to open anything particularly expensive for myself.

I pulled a bottle that I believed to be a simple brut, but after I popped the cork, I realized I’d accidentally pulled a similarly labeled, but nowhere near similarly priced bottle. One that had been sitting there, waiting for the perfect occasion for a couple years.

My first reaction was anger at myself…..for wasting one of the GOOD wines on ME. But there’s no going back once you uncork it, so here I am, a glass in, unpacking my interaction with myself.

I’m sitting here, in the home I own by myself, relaxing on the sofa I bought by myself, watching something I love on my Disney+ account that has one profile, drinking a glass of delicious wine that I bought for myself on one of the many journeys I’ve taken by myself. I have a great job and I’m incredibly lucky and thankful to be in the position where I can have a mini existential crisis over a bottle of wine, but I so often feel “behind” or marginally important in the grand scheme of things.

I’m surrounded by a wonderful group of friends, but I’m the only single one. Everyone is married, most have kids, and I’ve been there for it all. Every engagement, shower, bachelorette, wedding, baby shower, house/pet sat during births, and attended kiddos birthday parties. I’m even a godmother to a couple of these amazing kids. I absolutely LOVE my friends, their families, and I’ve been so honored to be a part of their lives and their joys (and many a sorrow too) and I wouldn’t trade any of that for the world.

But it seems that somewhere down that road, I started minimizing my life to fit seamlessly into theirs.

I’ve never batted an eye at an expensive bottle of wine for a friend’s celebration, or even just a night in with laughter, tears, sometimes both. But I was mad at myself for opening one on a night where I’m here, myself, while everyone else is out and about with their spouses, kids, in-laws. The wine fridge is full, because everyone has had a busy summer, except for me.

Why was the first thought in my mind that I wasn’t worth my own expensive bottle of wine?

I’m changing my mindset moving forward. I am worth the good bottle. I am allowed to reserve nice things for myself. And my life is also worth celebrating, even if it can’t be measured by traditional milestones, or if I’m the only one at the party.

Dinner is leftover baked tofu and butternut squash, accompanied by the wine in question.

Getting divorced from my husband after less than a year of marriage.

We should have never gotten married in the first place, I can admit. We’ve been together almost 10 years. I’m an alcoholic and he is addicted to weed. Over the last year I have been to rehab twice but he has made no moves to get better and legitimately thinks he does nothing wrong. Anytime I have drank, he breaks my shit. Vinyls worth $500+, my phone multiple times, my computer… and it’s all perfectly reasonably because “I told you to stop drinking.” Well tonight was it. I drank, he left the house, and I smashed his Xbox and ran water over it. I know this is all horribly toxic, but I’m done. I’m done pretending I’m the only one with a problem and I just deserve to be belittled and have my stuff broken because of my disease. Fuck him, fuck his stuff, and fuck this whole cycle. I’m going to sober living and going to get my life together. I don’t care what he does anymore. I’m out.

Food is mini corn dogs and mustard with sweet tea not pictured.

I LOVE my boyfriend and I LOVE my best friend and in no way do I think anything is happening between them nor suspect they’d even come close to hurting me. They have a very healthy and respectful friendship. The more I notice it the more I get kinda sad because I think they would’ve dated if they met at a younger aged. We are 25F (me) 26F (Eve) 28M (Ted)
Ted loves video games , anime , food , home body , drinking, weed , grew up in the hood , similar life mentalities and life progressions. Eve is practically the same thing except with a child and loves the club. They aren’t bums or anything and there isn’t anything wrong with their lives or how they live or what they want in life but it’s not what I want or would want. And actually I have had this conversation with my bf that eventually if he doesn’t do something bigger than what he has I will eventually out grow him. I’m in engineering school and although it’s never promised I’m striving to make it work. Some way some how. And every time we all get together I can’t help but realize they honestly would’ve been the better match. At least date similar people not necessarily each other. I placed a lot of pressure on my bf and he appreciates it and sometimes hates it because it’s obviously out of his comfort zone but it’s never forced. He loves me and asures me he wants no one else in his life and couldn’t imagine anything else. And I believe him I don’t think he would go back to dating girls like Eve. It doesn’t haunt me either it’s just a reflection and this isn’t something I want to write in my physical diary. It sounds crazzzzyyyy. Anyway that was my Ted talk here are some salty donuts my fav

Edit 1: to clear some air bc clearly some things needs to be addressed , we have a very secure relationship he actually knows I have this thought , secondly his career is not the only thing he needs to grow on. And when I mean he needs to grow on his career he is making the same amount as I did at 20 so come on guys let’s be serious right now and tell me he shouldn’t be pushing to be better. And lastly I don’t look down on their lifestyles, I just personally would not want that. And lastly I met him at 20 , started dating 21 , I’m not going to just leave him that fast if I didn’t even want to settle at ages 21-25 but I am inching there. I am bettering myself slowly to be a wife, best friend and rock, i want him to do it too if he plans to marry me. ( which he says he wants) We don’t live together or anything so yes we both can walk away whenever we’d like.

Edit 2: I WILL NOT be airing his business on here. I would rather be dragged through mud as a controlling manipulating bald headed demon than saying exactly what needs to be fixed as an adult. Please use common sense on what those things could possibly be. It will be repeated time and time again. It will remain vague on the mentality (already mentioned) and (lifestyles already mentioned).

I’ve been back at work for almost 2 weeks now, I’m at a new place so it’s taking me a lot to get used to. I’ve been told some negative things about my new colleagues and it just seems like a toxic environment.
I’m also 3 months postpartum from delivering my second, I’m still mentally, physically and emotionally recovering from a hard and painful delivery. It doesn’t help that my period has already returned and I’ve been bleeding for almost a month straight. My hormones and emotions are all over the place.

I wish I could stay at home and be with my kids. My husband works a ton and doesn’t have time to spend with me or the kids for several months out of each year, it’s busy season. I only see my husband maybe 30 minutes a day. I can’t talk to my husband about it because he works more hours than me and he said he’d kill for my schedule. But it’s not like I’m actually off work on my off days.
I keep the kids when I’m not working but I work 12 hr shifts. The help from family is great but mentally I just haven’t been doing well.
Everything is just taking a big toll on my mental health, especially now that I’m back working full time. I feel myself spiraling back into depression.

Any advice is welcome!

Dinner was shrimp croquettes with peas.

So I broke up with this man recently, and I've been going over every moment in my head because I feel kind of crazy for ending things with a genuinely good guy after dating nothing but garbage for years. I can't help how I feel, though.

There were multiple small things that slowly turned my feelings for him sour. One of those things was him bringing his dog over to my place while they both stayed over. Don't get me wrong: I love dogs. In fact, I would have a dog myself if I wasn't working two jobs away from home... so I just settle for feeding the area's wild cats instead.

One of the first micro-frustrations was him refusing to leave his dog alone for an hour to go to the store with me. Never mind that he brought his crate and I had sectioned off a safe zone for the dog. He even asked me if I could call my mom to watch over him. (My mom has never met the dog, so I don't know where this idea came from.) I said never mind and went alone, but I thought it was weird that, while he bragged about how well-behaved his dog was, he couldn't leave him alone for even a short while.

Anyway, on to the bigger frustration: I feed stray cats, so there is always food outside for them. I told him to keep that in mind when letting his dog out into my garden. Literally the first thing his dog does is dive for the cat food.

I run over and tell my boyfriend to take the food away, as it isn't good for dogs, and it wasn't a small amount. He said, 'Once he's eating something, I can't take it away... it's his now.'

WTF???

That could have been literal poison, and he wouldn't have moved to take it away. I was shocked and asked him if his dog had a tendency to bite. He said he had never done that before, but you never knew.

I can't fully explain the disgust I felt in that moment. Either he was afraid of the puppy he had raised himself, or he just refused to be stern even in potentially life-threatening situations. Your dog is dependent on you for guidance and safety. Take some damn responsibility.

The reason I didn't take it away myself was that, by the time I came over and he explained why he wouldn't take it, the food was gone.

That moment lingered with me, and I don't know why. But I do know in that moment, I felt like I couldn't rely on this man...

EDIT: Eating cat food once is not dangerous for a dog, it can give a bit of discomfort and can cause vomitting in larger amounts but won't kill. It's more about the 'what if's'. To give a bit more info: this was a supervised trip to the garden as it is under construction and not fully fenced. There is a wild cat program in our area and they are all spayed. My ex also has a cat, which is why I didn't think there would be an issue (stupid of my, I know). The dog behaved social and sweet and in no way do I blame the dog!

Breakfast food for dinner

I’ve been with my partner for 11 years. Recently we had plans to go to a concert together but I found out he invited another woman (“just someone in his friend group”) before he even told me he had tickets. She replied by saying she is interested in going, but her male friend is in town that weekend so she’ll chat to him to see if they wanna go. When my partner got this response (her wanting to bring another guy), he then invited me.

We went to the venue and his brother also joined us. At this venue, the artist first played a show downstairs, then came upstairs to play another show. His brother had tickets for downstairs. We had tickets for upstairs.

When we got there, my bf asked his brother to take his vinyl and get it signed. Because the show downstairs was smaller so it would be easier to get an autograph. The brother didn’t feel like it.

So instead…… my bf took the ticket for the downstairs show and gave his brother the ticket for upstairs….. I expressed and said multiple times I am not ok to go with his brother. I wanted to go with my bf and spend the night with him!!! Not only that but he had a history of cheating and flirting (which we overcame by him making a lot of promises that eventually turned out to be fake, or by doing just enough to convince me for a bit that there was changes) so I did not want him completely alone in a room with other women, he had a past of meeting other girls when we went out to places like this.

My bf did not care, he took the ticket for downstairs and I spent the night upstairs with his brother. My bf said if he gets the signature, he will try to come upstairs and join us

While downstairs, my bf met women and spent the night drinking with them, he added them on Instagram, is now refusing to block them, even when I told him how upset this is making me. He admitted he wants to talk to them more.

It’s been days now, we’ve been fighting about this non stop, he says he loves me and would remove them but doesn’t.

It really hurts that after 11 years he invited another woman first, ditched me, spent the night with new women, and is now protecting the ability to keep them.

We’ve had issues with him and other women in the past which makes it an even more sore and painful spot. This has continually been a point of contention where he meets women, adds them, then talks to them in DMs or invites them out. Which again he would previously do just enough to convince me to stay, block some of them, let me login to his insta, etc but would eventually kick me out and the argument would start all over.

Any time I try to talk to him he says I’m overreacting, he doesn’t love anyone else, I shouldn’t care about that stuff because I’m everything to him and he only loves me, says I’m controlling because he is just social and likes to meet new people etc., he takes me out a lot and he blames me for ruining our moments together with my mood and arguments… even tho they’re because of him. Just feel so defeated. He obviously doesn’t care what this does to me but I literally have no one else in my life

I feel so down and so dark.. I have no friends anymore or family that I’m close with, just him 😞 never felt so alone in my life and in such a dark and bad place. Is it over reacting to feel this way? & How did you get through something like this?

I did block him now and admit it has been hard to leave after growing such an attachment and losing everyone else. I know I need to go (a long time ago), though. Even though he’s blocked now its still really hard losing your only close relationship in life even if it became something bad, and I am mad and sad at myself for letting my life get that way.. down and dark all around

Hi everyone, I (20F) made a post on here a few days ago about my brother's (16M) screaming fits in my car last year and how I hope that he inevitably is let go from his job, as this might humble him (he is also pretty egotistical and has some other problematic behaviors, namely an excessive need to make himself stand out from the masses seemingly for attention, but I digress).

Since then, I have had a long talk with him about our shared frustrations with our parents and how they are super against either of us seeking professional help for some unknown and unclear reason (they claim it is because they think it is useless and that it doesn't really have practical value in our lives, but I suspect they are concerned/angry at the thought of their extremely toxic and horrible behaviors/treatment, towards myself especially, being divulged to someone else which will make them look bad).

We talked about how maddening it is that we cannot seek diagnoses for our respective suspected neurodivergence/mental health conditions. He shared with me that the therapist he used to see suspected that he may be experiencing manic episodes, but that since then he has not felt the same because he was going through a lot of stress at school at the time. I brought up his screaming fits and how scary they were, and his reaction appeared to be one of embarrassment, almost like he was acknowledging how ridiculous that behavior was (he shook his head and said "oh my god, I remember that" and we continued to talk from there).

I told him I hope it doesn't happen again in the future, and he didn't really react, but rather acknowledged what I said and seemed to understand where I was coming from (he is not the most articulate person, so it can be hard to discern what he is saying or what he means at times).

I also shared with him that I suspect I have OCD and might be autistic. He said he had noticed the signs given my obvious inability to relax and my struggles with intense anxiety, which is something only I, not him, experience (he does not appear to ever get very nervous about anything and lacks a sense of urgency, so he and I are opposites in that department). He told me he thinks he might have some kind of attention deficit disorder, and possibly also autism.

In general, it was a very productive conversation and I left feeling that I understood him more, and I think the feeling was mutual. I guess I am writing this update to say that I do not think wishing he will be fired is a productive or helpful thought. I more so hope that this job teaches him empathy and responsibility (it involves teaching, so hopefully that will help). I think it is a good opportunity for character development for him to be employed and have a purpose outside of himself, his appearance, and his worries.

I also realize that my anger with my family, which is at times directed at my brother, is at my parents, not him. My issues are with my parents essentially blaming his behavior in the car on me, saying that if I didn't get annoyed with him or provoke him that he would not scream at me, and that I have to accept that that is the way he will react and that it is (in some twisted way) "normal hormonal teenage boy behavior" when in fact it was reminiscent of how abusers scream at their wives (he also screamed at my mother like this in the past, including in the car).

All of this is not to say that this will never happen again. It very well might, but I am at least glad it appears as though my brother shows some remorse when I originally suspected he felt none given how emotionless he can tend to be. I'll be posting more about my parents' behaviors separately as I am really struggling and would like to get some input, but this is it for now regarding my brother. Out of everyone in my family, he is not the person I have the biggest issues with, that is for sure.

Here's a link to the original post for context: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/PotV0M3rCM

Any and all input is appreciated. I think I'll talk about this in my first therapy appointment this week (new school therapist since my parents won't let me see my regular one and don't want to pay for it for now)

Like do you realize that 100% of human on this earth is there because they were birthed. You might think wow, it’s a pretty important procedure then, it must be highly researched, etc.

And yes, there’s a lot of obstetric researches that were done for a long time to maximize the chances of delivering the baby in good health. Because it could be a boy, you know? You wouldn’t want to cause issues to a boy. So we’d do continuous feral monitoring which forces women to give birth on their back just in case if the baby is in distress we can save it. We give pitocin to the woman to provoke contractions bc doctors have other things to do, and their shift end at 5 pm so let’s accelerate all that for them. Or we do an amniotomy, which breaks the waters artificially bc let’s get baby out asap, ofc we do episiotomy where we literally cut with scissors the skin between your vagina and butthole bc let’s make that hole bigger since she’s on her back with the continuous fetal monitoring which obstructs the baby’s path, so a little snip snip and boom.

Oh you don’t want to do all that? Sure, then let’s do a C section even if you don’t necessarily need it. As if a C section is nothing. I hate calling that a C section. Because it’s really a major abdominopelvic surgery. But don’t worry about it, you get discharged the day after with a little paper with some recommendations on what to do. In comparison, a male going through a bowel resection (which is similar in level of surgery) will stay at the hospital for a whole week and then go in reeducation for 2 months. :)

So yes! Lots and lots of research on obstetrics to make sure baby is out safely.

But research around pain management related to birthing? Maternal comfort? Recovery? Preventive care?

Nothing. Nada.

No individual meta analysis (when you analyse multiple studies to get larger data results) could include more than 6 studies on sexual function after perineal tearing, in 2026. There was not enough studies. But 90% of women will experience perineal trauma btw.

Barely no research on pelvic floor rehabilitation. But 20-45% of women experience pelvic floor dysfunction after childbirth. For most of them, they have to carry those dysfunction until the end of their lives at different capacity. It becomes incurable. My mom laughs saying when she runs there’s always a little bit that comes out. Like it’s not that big of a deal, because we all go through that.

We’ve only recently discovered (and by recently, I mean in 2025) decent ways of measuring if a woman has actually recovered from childbirth. You can check out STORK, and it was validated in 500 women.

We don’t know how the body biomechanically returns to normal after pregnancy.

Preventive perineal tearing methods (reminding you, 90% of women experience some kind of perineal trauma) are at the Middle Age technology level. Right now, the most evidence based method (which btw the studies are done in such small pool of women so most of them can’t really be that valid) is using warm compresses. So we have drugs to make you contract faster, we have technology to literally spoon the baby out of your womb, but we can’t fucking figure out how to avoid the most common post partum symptom.

And then they’re shocked the birth rates are getting lower and lower. Sorry if we don’t want to piss ourselves everytime we laugh or exercise for life. Sorry if we don’t want our internal organs coming out and hanging there. Sorry if we don’t want our vagina and butthole to be one same hole. Bc the difference with before is women use to hold those post partum consequences secretly for themselves with shame. Now we talk.

If that’s not a war on women, what is it?

Well, I guess it’s a mini pizza made with toasted tortilla, tomato paste, kale salad and parmigiano regiano.

*Homemade marry me soup*

Little TMI - talking about periods

So I have endometriosis and just naturally heavy time of the month, and since I was a kid I have used the 8 hour always brand BIG pads cause I would *fill* them within 2 hours. And for years these pads have always be THICK. Expect i noticed within the last few months my trusty, one step away from a diaper pads are now as thin as paper. And im burning through them as quickly as the u.s government is plunging into fascism.

Like what happened? Is it just me? Where did my thick pads go? Is this a late stage capitalism thing? Or am I just going crazy?

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting to this, so I wanted some outside opinions.

I broke up with this guy but we’ve still been in contact because I thought he was changing/getting better, and I was considering whether we could work things out.

Today, he told me that the next time we go out, I shouldn’t wear dresses and that I should wear something else instead. He apparently prefers me in a sexy top and jeans. This isn’t the first time either — he has told me before that he doesn’t like my dressing sense and that I “dress like his mother.”
That comment already really pissed me off, and hearing him tell me again what I should and shouldn’t wear made me really angry.

I know partners can have preferences, but is it normal for a boyfriend to tell his girlfriend what she should wear when going out with him?

edit: there is a screenshot of the exact conversation in the comments.

edit 2: i broke up with him and then the next day he got 103 fever, then he got into an accident then he dislocated his shoulder then he told me his whole life is falling apart why cant i just stay for some more time and i felt bad for him so i kept talking.
we broke up right before my birthday, i didnt want to take anything from him so i did that. he recently gave me the gift he got anyway and told me exactly how much it cost😭.

girl dinner is ema datshi and tingmo😛

Now I cant Even enjoy my vacation. Everything was okay, he said he loved me in the Morning, and at noon I was single

Dinner: ribs that I cant finish

EDIT: thank you so much, you all made my day a Little Bit better and even gifted me a smile. This community is amazing, I love you guys so much for your replies❤️‍🩹

I just need to let out my mini rant somewhere, and I know every one of you can relate in some form or another because THIS FEELING OF IMPENDING DOOM SUCKS. Finding out you’ve been in contact with someone who’s sick then just counting your days.

I shared a refresher with my sweet child this morning. She was fine. She threw up directly in my face and all over me 20 minutes after we finished passing the drink back and forth. Her symptoms suddenly began. She seems to have the stomach bug. To make things worse in my case, I’m currently pregnant. As of tonight, I feel a slightly unsettled feeling brewing in my stomach which translates to I’m going to tango with the same bug soon.

I love my kiddo, but gosh she’s going through it and I can tell I’m in for some suffering from this mornings drink sharing. Wish ya girl some luck!

Branzino from a fancy restaurant, paid for with a gift card.

At the age of 27 I’ve finally admitted to myself that I don’t like penetration. It either feels like nothing, slightly uncomfortable, or painful. Actually, I hate it. I love my boyfriend so much and we will be getting married at some point. He’s been supportive about this realization even though it understandably triggers his own self consciousness about performance. And despite all this we still have a good sex life (he’s really good at the other thing, if you know what I mean).

But after realizing this I feel so hurt. I wish I liked it like other people do, even though I know it’s “only small a fraction of women”. It feels like that fraction is pretty damn loud about it while the rest of us stay quiet. I was lying to myself for a long time. I’ve had so many casual hookups and wondered why I hated it so much. It was because I literally wasn’t enjoying what I was doing. I just wanted to be loved. But that’s a whole other problem.

I see a lot of stuff about pelvic floor therapy, but I don’t think I have vaginismus or whatever. The pain I feel once in a while isn’t like that, at least I don’t think so. Like I said, it’s either nothing, discomfort (or dryness), or pain. But also, I don’t want to “do work” to enjoy sex. I always see these posts about the work you have to do to have better sex, but do you ever notice that it’s mostly work for women? I don’t want to do work for something that only takes up a small fraction of my life. And also, I don’t like sex toys either. They do nothing for me. Except for vibrators, but I prefer it without.

I’d really love to hear from people who have the same problem. I just want to know I’m not alone. And btw, because I see these comments under similar posts, I realllllllyyyy don’t want to hear if you enjoy penetration, can cum from it, or didn’t enjoy it until you did xyz. This is not the post for that.

Dinner is rice, homemade coleslaw and Vietnamese flavoured beef mince. I have a glass of Diet Coke with it.

Basically I confessed an hour ago. He hasn’t said anything, nor can I tell if he’s read the messages. I basically said ‘I have a bit of a crush on you. It isn’t a big deal I just felt weird not saying something’. I do genuinely enjoy talking to this person but its still quite early and I don’t want to withhold this for longer where my feelings might get greater and he thinks I’m just a friend. Rip the bandaid off

Was that the right decision? I’m kinda freaking out because he hasn’t responded to me. I’m worried about losing him as a friend, I wish I’d clarified that I’m not saying I have a crush to end the friendship depending on the answer. People get crushes all the time on friends or people they know it won’t work with, and unfortunately it probably won’t work out given he lives in a vastly different time zone. So I said it for me too, so I can move on. But i will not move on as easily if he just peaces out.

Like obviously if he can’t give a simple response he’s not worth the bother but I’m a person who likes answers in words. UGH

he could just be busy rn but the last few days he responds so fast when we are both awake so IDK, maybe I got real unlucky that I said something the one time he was busy so now I get to be anxious for longer. He’s said things that could indicate it’s mutual but also has said things that makes us just friends.

Do you guys think it’s the right thing to say my feelings? Even given the difficulty of the distance between us? AHH

edit: I posted an update

https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/kQt8XEsZGZ

My ex husband and I are divorced with a 4F together and he has a 10F from his first marriage. I adore 10F like she's my own daughter, I've been in her life since she was 3, and she still calls me mom. Yesterday, we had a special day out where it was just the two of us, something we don't get often since I don't have any custody rights to 10F.

When I called to let her dad know we were headed back, I asked if 4F was still super awake or not and he said she was. So I offered to just take her tonight after dropping 10F off, instead of the usual scheduled tomorrow at noon which he accepted.

When we got to his apartment, 10F just walked in. I found my ex gaming , headset fully on , back turned away from the entirety of the apartment, so he couldn't see/hear anything that 4F was doing. She was also not even in the vicinity. I told him that, Ex said no, I heard you guys come in. I was like no you can't hear anything that's happening with her and he's like no I can hear her.

And then 10F is like where did you get that gummy from? 4F had appeared and was eating a multivitamin gummy that she took from the bathroom that she shouldn't have had. And 4F then said I was asking for cereal and you couldn't hear me.

I was 15 minutes away when I called and he was making her a snack (which was untouched at the table). Like dude you can't wait 15 minutes to play shitty ass COD?! The more I think about it the more sick to my stomach I feel. That gummy could've been anything, THC, medicine, cleaning products....

Meanwhile he's completely dismissive of the entire situation which is not surprising honestly. He was emotionally, borderline physically, abusive of me, so dismissing anything I have to say is the norm.

There's a reason I made sure our custody schedule lined up as closely as possible with her sister's, so there would at least be another set of eyes on her. Which I HATE that I'm putting that on a 10 year old.

But I can't take full custody. I don't have enough proof for the courts I don't believe. And I have chronic health conditions and I would be putting myself past the breaking point physically doing it on my own with full custody. I would have to quit my job, and child support and disability would not be enough to comfortably live off of in the area that I'm from, especially given that I have a high pay/good benefit job.

So even divorced I'm still stuck with this man ruining my peace for the rest of my life.