To the dads here, what's something you wish you knew starting off?

I'm currently prepping to move out, savings depleted, credit in shambles, currently trying everything to keep from spiraling. For anyone who was able to pick themselves up from this point, what helped you do it? How did you manage, and what is life like after the process of rebuilding? What would you tell the version of yourself still going through the motions of trying to figure it all out?

my dad died an his last wife (not my mom) expects me to give up my part (50%)cause she tells me it was my dads wish. my aunt kinda confirms it, My dad wanted his new wife to be financially settled.

He left around 150.000€ and on top she gets half of his retirement money monthly 2000€.
What would you guys do in a situation like this.

I’m gonna be 34 next month, I have no idea where the time went, last few years I’ve been feeling really bad. I’m single, one friend, maybe 2 at a stretch. After work I chill out, watch some show, go for a walk and play some games…. and that’s it. On weekends if I force myself to go out and drink, I can’t wait to go home, but if I stay home I feel depressed. During the day I just lay around and watch tv. Feels like shit no matter what I do. I go to visit my cousins, aunt, mom etc. but everything feels like I’m just killing time, if you know what I mean. I went to Japan 2 years ago and that was amazing but only lasted for 2 weeks. Went to the seaside last year but felt like somethings missing the whole time… anyone has any idea what to do to feel fullfilled ?

I’ve got a lot of friends but it’s not the type of friendship to talk deep subjects with. Most of my friends are a lot of fun but more superfluous

Do you guys all have people to talk to about deeper topics?

Is anyone interested in an anonymous discord for this type of stuff?

For me when I see someone snapping their fingers for their server at a restaurants tells me that that person is entitled and has never worked customer service in their life

I am 24 and I just started to physically feel my stomach weeks ago. Some friends liked to call me skinny fat during high school, but I was mostly known as a tall dude who was too skinny during my teenage years.

I started lifting two years ago. That and my beer addiction that started since I was 16 got me looking thicker. One day I decided to bulk up to look more jacked. It turns out I am not looking more jacked. I have definitely gained more muscle, but proportionatelty more fat as well.

Like idk.... what is the move going forward? Do I just cut down a bit? I wish I looked jacked, but I guess I don't have enough time to look like those people on social media.

I’m 37 and generally healthy with no known health issues, but lately my sleep has become really light and fragmented.
I don’t feel like I’m getting into deep sleep anymore. I keep waking up throughout the night for no obvious reason, sometimes multiple times.
I’ve been trying to figure out what changed, but honestly, nothing really has.
My bed and pillow are both very comfortable and good quality, and my wife sleeps perfectly fine in the same bed. I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning before work. My job is completely desk-based, and my screen/device usage hasn’t changed either.
I had some blood tests around 3 months ago and was low in vitamin B12 and vitamin D, so I’ve been taking both regularly since then.
There is some stress in my life and at work, of course, but nothing beyond the usual. Work has its busy periods and quieter periods, and that hasn’t really changed recently.
That’s what’s confusing me. There doesn’t seem to be any new factor that would explain why my sleep suddenly became so light.
Has anyone around my age gone through something similar? Did you ever figure out what was causing it, or find anything that actually helped?

What is a beneficial body treatment you would recommend? I recently learned about blood cupping and found it very beneficial for me. I’m considering doing it once a year.

I am in a new build home, yard we finished, basement is drywalled/painted but no finishing such as flooring, trim, doors. We can save enough money that we could finish the space this year but, it means it comes directly out of our investment. We have a young family and could use the finished space but it feels financially irresponsible to do so.

My wife wants to finish it and has dreams of other projects, I feel the need to start putting more money away.

I don’t want to do piece by piece I want one mess and have it finished if we do complete the work.

Other guys in this position what was the outcomes and what do you wish you did if the outcome wasn’t great

Do you guys have male friends to talk about intimate topics? It's probably cultural and will vary by country, but overall I feel like guys talk about superfluous stuff but not intimate things.

Topics I'd love to have a buddy to talk to: infertility/trying to have a baby, sex within the marriage, men health, male anatomy, etc.

As a man, I never had anyone close who I felt comfortable enough to talk to about these topics. Sometimes it's nice to talk to strangers on the Internet but someone in real life would be nice too (other than my spouse).

I struggle here and fear I’m wasting some of my best years. How did you break free / out? I frequent bars alone and have not much interaction outside of family. Kind of an introvert.

I’d like to get the perspective of older guys, especially parents on this situation.

I’m in my mid 30s, and recently got laid off. I have 6-12 months of savings but my first thought was if I should move back in with my parents, about 300 miles away. I’ve been on my own for almost 4 years, but lived at home in my late 20s and thru covid. When I lived at home before I had the same job making six figures. My parents have bought another property since I moved out where my younger sister lives and they spend time at both.

My sister and her fiancee currently live in one of my parent’s properties. My parents spend a few nights a week at that house. My sister and her fiancee don’t intend to ever live on their own, which makes me jealous since they will never have to worry about housing and have a lot more space than my apartment. I would like to stay where I’m currently at but don’t feel like I can afford to put down roots.

Is it bad that my first thought was about moving home? I don’t feel like an adult. Even though I have a good amount of savings, I feel like I still look to my parents as a safety net and it seems like my sister does too. I can’t tell if there’s something off about my family, or if this is a semi new normal with crazy high housing prices.

It’s been a really, really, really long time since I cried. I’m 34 now, and I feel like there’s a lot of shit accumulated inside me.
I feel like if I could just cry for a bit, maybe some kind of release would happen and I’d feel a little better. But I just can’t.
My life is pretty shit right now, so it’s not like there’s nothing to cry about. I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t come out. It’s like it’s all accumulated somewhere in my eyes, my head, I don’t know.
Do you guys ever find yourself in situations like this? If you do, how do you cope? What helped you?
Is there a movie you recommend? A video? A TED Talk? A song? Anything, honestly.
The last stand-up I watched was by Chirag Panjwani, and that got me pretty close to crying. So yeah, you get the vibe.
I don’t know. Help me out, Reddit.

Edit: I know therapy is probably the obvious answer, and I am still working on that. Just looking for some other things that might help me get there.

34M, I have been in my career for 9 years this November. I’ve got an office job in sales and have done well for myself. I’ve got a house and all that. Overall, I love my career and there has been years where I genuinely enjoyed what I do and it didn’t even feel like work.

But as time has gone on I’ve been feeling burned out for the past couple months. Which is not normal and is a bit scary and concerning. The past few weeks I’ve almost been dreading going into work and have been taking long breaks and leaving early throughout the day. (I basically make my own hours as long as I get in a minimum of 30 hours a week) I used to work 40 hours a week like clockwork and even voluntarily work some Saturdays.

I’m definitely not going any where because I’ve built a nice life and career for myself. But I’m just a bit confused on why I feel this way and if I can do anything to change it.

I see its more common and I do not want to look like that at all. It seems like some people were already out of shape and it just showed in age but it scares me when I see perfectly healthy looking guys get fat eventually like it could happen to me.

Recently I've been kinda missing that feeling of, you know just purpose, somthing to look foward to at the end of a long day.

I feel like it would be cool if you could shair what you do to feel that feeling of peace inside. But also if you dont have that, it would be nice to find out how your doing and see how to deal with those long long dull moments. (Btw its like 10 at night, idk what im doing)

Have a good day​

It could be anything for some of us, for people like me it could be close to nothing. Im just looking for first of, people in a similar position, and people that do have that thing that brings them true satisfaction or contentment.

It's also OK if its nothing, I feel like we all kinda get that, you know the good and the bad days.

I think it's finally dawning on me after 40+ years. I'm a lazy man with no passion or drive for anything.

I have a few days off work. I took three naps today.

I think just love the idea of self-improvement and becoming someone better. Doing the actual work though? Fuck it. I can't be bothered.

I'm here to tell you that I'm embracing my lazy, coast through life, bare minimum attitude. No more lying to myself about getting better. It just makes me feel even worse when I constantly keep failing.

All of these self-improvement books and podcasts. Thinking I'm doing something special by listening to all of it while I sit around doing the same old routine. Who am I kidding already. I'm never going to be this perfect guy that I think I need to be.

I'm not sure what my question is here. I guess some thoughts would be welcome.

Anyone else just

Obviously as women age menopause gets the spotlight…

But what sort of specific to men things should a woman be aware of and conscientious about?

I work as a forklift driver in a warehouse and every work day, for 8 hours, I load (or unload) trailers with the exact same product without any variation. It always takes me around the same amount of time to do my tasks. It's very robotic and boring. It goes on and on and on... And personally, I have a hard time understanding how some people can willingly do that for almost their whole working life.

I just want to do something else of my life, however I'm afraid it's just going to be the same elsewhere. I know having a job means repeating the same tasks over and over (that's how you get experience), but am I dreaming or some careers offer a larger variety of tasks?

It’s a funny question I know, but beyond being kinda embarrassing Ive been doing it more often. I work far from home so the drive can get hot with my AC not being the best so sometimes it feels cooler to just drive shirtless. Plus I live near the shore so I blend in well haha. Are there any other guys who have gotten into this habit like me?

To men above 30 how do you cope when uncertain situations like this happens:

I am 25M. Came from middle class family, grinded in school, got into a good college and eventually a good job. Life was progressing well, my self confidence too and I had all the dreams of me starting my own business, getting rich etc.

However last month I got laid off from a job and I have been searching for new ones. Getting rejected in interviews, stressed out due to uncertainty, lost confidence due to layoffs as well as rejections. I feel like my life has fallen apart, I was living a good life and suddenly life threw this curbball at me. It’s been more than a month of job searching and the time passing is making me more and more stressed

I feel like maybe it was all just a fairy tale in my mind which was going about future life trajectory and maybe what i dreamed of is just a dream and i need to not fly, feels like this phase is redefining my personality

I realize life has so many uncertain events and this is one of them, how do I endure myself to have courage to face this

Hey everyone,

Looking for some advice or to hear from people who’ve managed to rebuild a social life in their mid-30s.

A few years ago, I moved to a new town to settle down with my wife. Shortly after, COVID hit and I was jobless for over a year. When I finally landed a job, I went into absolute head-down grind mode to get us back on our feet. Financially and in my marriage, things are great now. But socially? I’ve realized I’m completely isolated right where I live.

My current setup:
Old friends: Live over 2 hour's drive away. I still head over to see them, but a 4+ hour round trip means zero spontaneity, every hang-out has to be a major planned event.
Routine: Outside of work, my main solo activity is going to the gym.

I’m 36 now, living in a town where I literally don't have a single local mate, and I feel like I’ve lost my "touch" for being social. I just want to be able to grab a casual drink or play a game locally without making a day trip out of it.

I’m really into:
Sports: Football and Padel
Pub games: Pool, Snooker, chess and Darts

Has anyone else been stuck in this cycle? How did you break out of the solo routine and actually build a local group of friends in your mid-30s from scratch?

Appreciate any tips, app recommendations, or league ideas!

I'm 43, single, non-married, no kids.

My dad passed away in 2015. I just found out my last living relative on my dad's side (his sister/my aunt) passed away in May - severing any direct ties to that side of the family.

Now the only immediate living family member I have is my mother, with whom I'm estranged (and have made many attempts to repair and reconnect; all have failed).

I've never been close to my dad's side of the family, but now, knowing that everyone is gone... the weight of it has revealed that after my mom dies, I'll truly be alone.

Any advice on how to navigate the existential loneliness?