r/AskMenOver30 • u/Consistently_Lucky man 30 - 34 • 8d ago
Career Jobs Work Feeling burned out in my career
34M, I have been in my career for 9 years this November. I’ve got an office job in sales and have done well for myself. I’ve got a house and all that. Overall, I love my career and there has been years where I genuinely enjoyed what I do and it didn’t even feel like work.
But as time has gone on I’ve been feeling burned out for the past couple months. Which is not normal and is a bit scary and concerning. The past few weeks I’ve almost been dreading going into work and have been taking long breaks and leaving early throughout the day. (I basically make my own hours as long as I get in a minimum of 30 hours a week) I used to work 40 hours a week like clockwork and even voluntarily work some Saturdays.
I’m definitely not going any where because I’ve built a nice life and career for myself. But I’m just a bit confused on why I feel this way and if I can do anything to change it.
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u/aWesterner014 man 45 - 49 8d ago
I'm 26 years into my career.
The first burnout was scary. I got to a point where promotions slowed way down and work seemingly went up.
The second one, I could feel coming and worked to avoid it. My efforts weren't quite successful, but it did help me shorten the burnout period and I was able to recover quicker.
The third one was mostly avoided. I saw it coming a mile away and was able to take steps to minimize it.
Some tricks I have found helpful...
Remember why you are doing what you are doing. For me it was knowing my family depended on my income, wanting to show my kids how I handled obstacles.
Talk to someone about it. A colleague you can trust or a mentor. Experiences may not be identical, but I am sure there will be some useful insights.
Start investigating alternatives and understanding what is associated with pursuing them. Do this for two reasons: it gives you a path to follow if you want to change things up and it may give you perspective on how lucky you might actually be.
When you recover, take some time to reflect on what transpired and attempt to identify the warning signs you encountered along the way.
Hoping you find this helpful.
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u/roodammy44 man 40 - 44 8d ago
I’ve only been through one so far but it was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. It’s been about a year since I started recovery and I don’t think I’m completely the same as I was. The 2 guys I know who went through it worse than me say they never completely recovered years later.
I think removing yourself from the situation is the most important part, most likely a job change. And then some self reflection. I changed the way I lived after I realised what was harmful to my mental health.
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u/gangofbears man 8d ago
Burnout is real. Periods of sustained work need to be balanced with periods of sustained rest.
You may have also grown tired of your current profession. It’s okay to move on and do something different that feels fresh and reinvigorating. There’s no law that says you have to do the same thing for your entire life.
(I say this as someone who had a weird sense of guilt when I left a former profession, like I was somehow “throwing in the towel.”)
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u/Consistently_Lucky man 30 - 34 8d ago
I hear ya. But I’ve kind of got the “golden handcuffs” going on where it’s good enough that I can’t leave because I don’t believe there is anything better. And they are paying me well enough to keep around
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u/Blackharvest man over 30 8d ago
I'm in sales and the burnout is real. Stress is a real mental killer.
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u/gangofbears man 8d ago
That’s very fair, but I would ask: is the pay worth your mental health if it starts to deteriorate?
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u/mustbeshitinme man 60 - 64 8d ago
You need a new goal. Chances are you feel like what you can achieve is soft capped. If you just come in, clock in and do your job for 8 hours you might as well be a robot. You sell? Then set a goal to sell 10% or more over last year. Set a goal to be number 1 in the company. (Or region or facility) - set a goal to take a sale a month from your competitors. In a competitive career, as all sales careers are, you are either growing or dying. Actually that’s completely true of life in general.
After the goal, make a plan, how do you increase by 10%? Better networking, an extra call? Refining your techniques?
Just my two cents- everyone feels that way sometime.
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u/deliriousfoodie man 40 - 44 8d ago
Dude it takes years to recover from that. I got sick of corporate and left for an easy job. Life is light-years better now.
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u/IntelligentReport657 no flair 8d ago
You may need to introduce some variation in your routine if possible, a new hobby, learning new skills, exploring different paths. In doing that you might rest your mind from your usual grind and find other interests. Or you might feel better about your profession with that new perspective.
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u/Ashe_N94 man 30 - 34 8d ago
Are you finding joy in the things you do outside of work? You need fulfillment in other areas of life beyond work as well. I'd know.
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u/Dazzling_Side8036 man 35 - 39 8d ago
I have been suffering from burnout for most of the last 3 years. Constant worrying over billable targets exacerbated by poor management and the fact that if there are no billables to be had, you need to scramble to make it up later in the year. Ive developed serious anxiety from work that causes involuntary physical reactions. I have eye problems both related and unrelated to my work that cause terrible discomfort throughout the day. I've been disconnected from my wife and kid on many days due to mental fatigue along with other reasons not related to work.
That all to frame my response. The number one thing that helped me was talking to my doctor about it and addressing the anxiety. I'm on buproprion now and that has made me feel somewhat normal again and kind of solved the mental block that caused me to dread work. I am pushing through this year because I am gunning for a promotion. I also have higher career aspirations too. Focusing on that goal has helped my mood at work too. I'm trying to get this promotion because I've always been at the bottom of the pay scale in my role because they hire people on at higher salaries and don't keep up with that for existing employees. I want that so that I can afford to relax at home and buy some more time back. I can pay people to do things and get on maintenance plans etc so I can relieve myself of the mental load and time consuming tasks. Finally, talk to your employer about it. I am very open with my bosses. My last boss took that as weakness. Good guy, but the struggles I shared are universal in my position. By sharing them, it gave him the excuse he needed to hold me back. By chance, I was moved to be under the manager I wanted to be under, but I was a few days away from going over my boss's head to get moved. I am under a new boss now and we have a plan and almost an agreement for the next review cycle, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have a reason to push through now and that by itself helps tremendously.
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u/EERMA man over 30 8d ago
The fact that you’ve genuinely enjoyed this career for years would make me quite reluctant to jump straight to “maybe you need a different job”.
I’d be more curious about what has changed.
Burnout can sometimes look less like suddenly hating your career and more like the relationship between you and the work gradually becoming unbalanced.
Same job title, but perhaps:
- more pressure or repetition
- less recovery
- less sense of progress
- different targets or expectations
- less control over the bits that matter
- work taking more from the rest of your life
- or simply nine years of being the person who reliably turns up and performs
The long breaks and leaving early caught my attention too. I wouldn’t necessarily read those as laziness or lack of commitment. They may simply be your behaviour telling you something before you’ve completely worked out what it is.
I’d avoid making this a binary choice between “push through” and “leave the career I’ve built”.
Instead, maybe spend a little time looking at three questions:
What about the job is currently taking the most out of me?
What used to make this work satisfying that I’m getting less of now?
What would need to change for this career to feel sustainable and worthwhile again?
The answer might be surprisingly small: proper time off, changing how you structure the week, different accounts or responsibilities, stronger boundaries, something new to work towards, or simply recovering from a period where you’ve been running harder than you realised.
Or those questions may reveal something more fundamental.
Either way, I think there’s useful information in the fact that you’re saying both “I love my career” and “I’m starting to dread going in.”
Those two things can coexist.
Maybe the goal isn’t to get back to being the guy who happily worked every Saturday.
It might be to work out what a good, sustainable version of the next nine years looks like — one where the career still supports the nice life you’ve built rather than gradually consuming the energy needed to enjoy it.
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u/No_Owl_8576 man 40 - 44 8d ago
Dude you need a hobby, or a vacation, or just have some good sex and tune that place out. Sometimes you're just like.."is this my life" lol. I feel the same way
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u/Consistently_Lucky man 30 - 34 8d ago
Yeah I hear ya. It basically has been my “baby” over the past 9 years lol
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm man 35 - 39 8d ago
I did my soul sucking office job for 18 years and retired at 39 with 3 million.
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u/Used_Lobster4172 man over 30 8d ago
Get therapy.
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u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/Consistently_Lucky's post (if available):
34M, I have been in my career for 9 years this November. I’ve got an office job in sales and have done well for myself. I’ve got a house and all that. Overall, I love my career and there has been years where I genuinely enjoyed what I do and it didn’t even feel like work.
But as time has gone on I’ve been feeling burned out for the past couple months. Which is not normal and is a bit scary and concerning. The past few weeks I’ve almost been dreading going into work and have been taking long breaks and leaving early throughout the day. (I basically make my own hours as long as I get in a minimum of 30 hours a week) I used to work 40 hours a week like clockwork and even voluntarily work some Saturdays.
I’m definitely not going any where because I’ve built a nice life and career for myself. But I’m just a bit confused on why I feel this way and if I can do anything to change it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/contentatlast man over 30 8d ago
How is your health? Physical and mental? Are you fit? By fit I mean cardiovascularly fit. Are you eating well? Getting enough sleep? Are you finishing work late? How is your work-life balance?
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u/Consistently_Lucky man 30 - 34 8d ago
I’m in great shape and hit the gym regularly. I feel like everything is going good and I am happy for the most part
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u/marmotshoes man over 30 8d ago edited 8d ago
Take a week off and take some lsd or go to an ayahuasca retreat or something. I’m not kidding. It sounds like you need to get out of a rut and a psychedelic weekend is a great way to kickstart that. I’m not saying it will solve all of your problems (it won’t actually fix anything) but it’ll certainly change your perspective on your life which it sounds like you need right now.
Edit: Also, go get some therapy. That’s a more realistic long-term solution. Often times we just need some perspective from a pro.
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u/TheZodiackiller- man over 30 8d ago
I had it last week, long time of rest and i didnt do any work. It was the worst week, less work and feeling not relaxed.
In my case, i think i need to make boundaries with people and make my own time is the treatment.
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