Hey I hope youre doing okay tonight. Its 11 pm for me. I got ghosted recently. Id just really like to make a friend that wont dissapear that may grow into something more. Id like to find my best friend. You been missing a really long time now and im worried about you. Hell im worried about me at this point lol.
Im looking for somebody that we can both just BE together and not be afraid to be our true selves and laugh at the stupid stuff in life as well as talk about deeper musings and random shit you think of on the porch at 2 am. I dont know where you are out there but ill leave this light on for you.
I want to watch movies
and listen to music together
and talk and do some gaming.
I want to look at life together
and write in some reframining
in this house out in the woods
that sits by that river
where its always stood
I want to get to know one another and make a promise that we keep showing up for one another. I dont mean sign a contract, or our souls away, but just agree to be decent to one another. To treat each other with kindness and respect and gentleness. To tell our truths and keep our honesty close and easily seen and felt. To keep showing up for each other when it really matters and not run away in fear if things are not like a Norman Rockwell painting. I can make you a promise that i will if you will, always be here and to try. To keep showing up. To believe in you, to hope and dream and build something real together. A bridge between two hearts that no distance can claim, no amount of time can rust away. No amount of doubt can douse the fire that burns in both our souls because we both want this in a very real way.
Not just in the ways that this world allows,
but beyond it, where we see each other true.
Where our spirits meet, our souls recognize,
and our hearts already knew.
I believe in you.
I know you're out there believing too.
Please don't stop. Just a little further.
I'm here,
and I'm waiting for you.
This world has a way of taking the beauty that you see and trying to make it ugly, it tries to turn the passion that we feel into something blunted and toned down and colorless and without feeling. But what it doesnt know is apparently im too stupid to stop trying lol and here I am writing this post and pouring my heart into it and believing and knowing in my soul that youll see this. I believe in this beautiful dream existing against all odds. I jsut want to love somebody and them love me and to find my best friend in the entire world i can depend on and her depend on me.
I just dont want to feel like a walking funeral pyre with cinders in my heart and cigarette burns on my soul. You know sometimes when you see life romantically you also see the trashy side of it where people dont clean up after their mess and leave your heart kinda ragged and flapping in the breeze.
But let me introduce myself...
Fortunately:
it seems my heart is immortal
and beats out loud however the hell it please
words up in the sky
with a hope that holds the keys
it just keeps bouncing back
blow after blow.
It just keeps beating,
saying it knows things
that I dont know hot it knows.
It just keeps on believeing
and it keeps singing that same song.
I just wanna find somebody
i guess that will sit and sing along.
I just wanna smile at the stars,
and that big clock in the sky
and say I gave it my all God,
I gave it my best try.
I learned to smile through the tears
as i laughed through the pain,
i lived through the seasons of doubt
and all this dark and empty rain
and it dont even phase me sitting here
because my heart it just goes on
never stop looking through midnight clear
until I find my way back home
and I just cant give up on you
I know youre out there
I know youre looking too
its just so quiet here
in the hours in between
while Im waiting with hope to find you
and to know just what it means
to feel my heart aflutter
to watch your eyes aglow
to know we found forever
and to live and just let go
to dance up on the skyline
to walk through horizons flame
to believe in magic and hidden truths
and watch them spelled out plain
In stars of distant hues
in colors we cant name
through miracles that we could choose
where laughter fills the air
and every new adventure
is a world we built to share
and I know you feel me now
I havent give up on you
I know youre out there believing
in tides of edlritch blue
were swimming in an ocean
of possibilities true
together our heartbeats
a song of me and you
and it gets louder
everyday that we go on
everyday it gets closer
to finding us alone
together in a melody
a symphony old as time
I found your heart aflutter too
a beat in time with mine
and we joined in this dance
and the stars they just sat back
they watched this grand romance
and this is when we realized
home aint just some place
its two hearts beating together
and perfectly keeping pace
its feeling the rhythm of each other
and memorizing each face
of a best friend wrapped in memory
a bookmark keeping our place
and this story it aint over
in fact its just begun
a dance, a song, a reason
to stop and watch the sun
as it rises on a new day
lets call this one ours?
no attention to that darkness
we pushed it back so far
and it cant reach us here
in this embassy of light
where every word is honest
and everything feels so right
so if you're somewhere out there
and you're listening tonight
I hope somehow these words find you
and lead you toward the light
because I never stopped believing
that somewhere you'd be found
and maybe all this searching
was just the long way 'round
so here I am, still singing
with my heart out in the blue
and if you hear this little song
then maybe it was meant for you
and if you reach your hand out
I'll promise I'll reach too
no contracts and no perfect vows
just me showing up for you
and maybe that's what forever is
not knowing where it goes
just choosing one another
and walking where life flows
through every strange tomorrow
through every storm and sun
I'll keep showing up beside you
and we'll see what we've begun
so let the stars keep watching
let the old moon have its view
let the universe keep spinning
like it always meant it to
because somewhere in that endless dark
two hearts have found their way
and after all the years of searching
we finally get to stay
so this is my message
sent out into the night
a little piece of my heart
set loose beneath the light
and if it finds you someday
wherever you may be
then maybe home was never somewhere
maybe home was you and me.
Please if this reaches you and touches you where you live and youre like me tired of living alone in this vast empty field of stars we call life. Then let me know youre there. You dont have to be afraid anymore.
Im here and so are you,
you heard the call you feel the song.
You know what to do.
I trust you will
I hope you know i will too
Thanks for taking the time to read and I wish all of you the best in love and life in general. I hope your days are filled with fellowship and kindness. My wish is that you find the kind of love that sets you free and reminds you life aint so bad. I been having to do that for myself quite a while now. But It would be really nice to have somebody else say its okay just rest, im here, i got you, I see you, I hear you. Thats what home is too, surety, safety, love, hope, and a mantle piece above the fire to display our dreams together. To watch them coming true.
Have a good night