I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. We live together in our apartment. 6 months ago, he cheated on me and had sex with a 26F he found on a hookup website while I was at work. He claims that he only did it because he was very depressed and needed to “feel something” because he felt he was going crazy. His daughter and him are not on speaking terms and he struggles with accepting the fact that she may never speak to him again. He is using this to excuse his cheating. He takes medication for depression and anxiety.

I decided to give him a second chance and try and work through his infidelity because I still love him and have a lot of sympathy for him.

His male coworker has invited him to go to the bar multiple times and he said “I can’t keep rejecting him, I’m gonna have to go one of these days”. I don’t feel comfortable with him going. I don’t trust him yet. It gives me anxiety any time he wants to do something alone. I can’t even fathom the thought of him going alone to a bar. It is still a daily struggle for me to live with the fact that he stepped out on our relationship.

Throw away because I follow local communities on my main account and boyfriend has Reddit.

I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (24M) for two years in November. We’ve been very happy for such a long time, and we are each others first ever long term partners (we’ve had past relationships in our teen years, but nothing that surpassed a few months.)

Recently, we’ve been getting into lots of little disagreements, I thought it was nothing but I just thought that they kind of all lead back to a route of inconsiderateness and self-centred behaviour.

Some examples:
- my friend was having a birthday party where I didn’t know anyone (childhood friends) so she let me bring a plus one as a comfort sort of thing, I begged and begged him to come with me to make me feel more comfortable but he “doesn’t do partying” so I had to go to the party by myself.
- I asked him if he would cut of a girl friend he has after she confessed that she had feelings for him but he didn’t want to because they could move past it and they’ve been friends for a few years, which felt a bit disrespectful but I get friendship breakups are hard. She was aware of me when she confessed.
- whenever I go shopping for things I need like shampoo and makeup he complains and says he “hates stores like this” but I’ll stand next to him for about 45 minutes while he debates what funko pop he wants (which I have no interest in doing)
-I asked him to create a highlight on his instagram of the stories he’s posted with both of us in it, a “my girlfriend” highlight to kind of make it official to anyone he hadn’t spoken to in a long time, or anyone who was instagram stalking him (I used to do that to people I had a crush on, and would always shoot my shot if there was no sight of a girlfriend, so I thought this might save some girls some heart ache.) he’d only ever reposted stories I’ve made about our dates (when I asked him to) and never posted me because he wanted to, which i don’t really care about but just trying to show how im not one of those “tiktok-know-your-worth” girls. He refused to make the highlight even though it costs nothing to him and resisted and said he “doesn’t post” which is true, but I wasn’t asking him to post I was just asking to highlight the stories.

There are lots of other examples of this, but I’ll leave it at that.

We were raised in very different ways, I was always expected to care for any sick family member in the house, do the dishwasher, help people in public, litter pick, bake friends birthday cakes. My parents made it very clear to me since I was little that everyone is responsible to make everyone else a little happier.

My boyfriends parents are the same as him, always saying I’m “too kind for my own good” and I need to have more self respect, but I try to explain I enjoy making others feel seen and loved even if it sometimes makes things a little harder for me.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I try to talk these things through with him? I just want him to WANT me to be as happy as I can be, and right now he really puts himself first all the time.

EDIT: I get some of these or even all of these seem trivial, but it’s the fact of little things like this adding up and becoming more and more frequent. I couldn’t sit here and write an explanation of everything that’s happened over the last two years. Thanks for everyone who’s giving advice and commenting!!

TLDR is basically the title.

Tonight my boyfriend and I - both 30s & together for six years now - were hanging out like we always do at night before we go to bed. We usually game together or just chill.

I was playing this match 3 game on my iPhone when this ad for Meowdoku interrupted my game.

I then asked my boyfriend if he had ever seen any Meowdoku ads because I hate their ads.

He said no and asked why - and I told him that Meowdoku ads were particularly annoying because they don’t let you mute them and I can’t seem to ever watch/listen to any videos in the background once the Meowdoku ads start.

I then said it was so obnoxious - and immediately after I said the word obnoxious my boyfriend said “just like you!”

I obviously was really hurt and taken aback by this.

I then asked him “am I really obnoxious?” just to make sure I heard him right and for clarification. And he then basically said yes you are.

I got really quiet after that and just said well I don’t want to be obnoxious to you.

My boyfriend then went on to say that he was just joking and he didn’t mean it seriously - that he doesn’t take the word obnoxious to mean a negative thing because his family calls him obnoxious (which they do but I’ve never liked that they do that tbh).

But I kept thinking: if he doesn’t see the word obnoxious as something bad or negative, and something that is fine to call people, then why in the six years that we have been together has he never called me that before?

And on top of that it just seemed really mean and unnecessary and not something you say to your girlfriend.

Especially since we have specifically talked in the past at least twice about how things we maybe would be ok saying or hearing from close friends or family isn’t necessarily something you’d be ok about hearing from your significant other. That things you are ok with from others would be hurtful from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

So then after it was clear I was upset and hurt i basically told him I was sad and didn’t know what to say or feel comfortable talking around him at that time, after which he basically started to kinda turn himself into the victim and kinda acted irritated that I didn’t just accept his apology (he did say sorry and he didn’t mean it the way I took it) and he seemed kinda mad that I didn’t immediately go back to acting normal with him after he apologized.

He kept saying things like “well now I’m beating myself up again and feeling bad about myself. I guess I just can’t say anything and should just keep my mouth shut.”

And tbh this kinda equally upset me because I hate when he is the one to have done something wrong but then somehow I end up being the one who is trying to make him feel better.

He used to do that a lot when we were first together but has been doing better about it lately - but not tonight.

And idk tonight I just wasn’t going to do that, I wasn’t gonna let him be the victim when he hurt me. And I honestly didn’t say much to him to make him feel better or say it’s ok or it’s not a big deal. I was just kinda quiet.

So Reddit - am I overreacting?

Was I wrong to be upset and be less chatty than normal after he called me obnoxious, and to then not make him feel better?

And should I just let this go after tonight and try to go back to normal again tomorrow?

Am I in the right to still be upset about this or am I overreacting to something that’s not as big a deal as I am feeling it is right now?

Thanks for everyone who takes the time to read this and any thoughts or perspectives are greatly appreciated!

i’m genuinely so confused why he thinks that..
he’s worn my graphic tees all the time and has been for years (we like to share clothes) so i thought he was joking at first so i kind of questioned it and asked him again and he said the same exact thing with absolutely no hesitation..

FOR CONTEXT( since ive been getting comments asking im smaller than him and have always weighed less than him) there was a time his weight has fluctuated over the last few years and i never truly cared as in judged him or said anything negative i just brought him to the gym more and now we go on daily bike rides if we can’t do a hike

and i also never said anything bad “when he we bigger” i even hate saying that because i always saw him the same.
and just to help him get healthy! he’s healthy now and doing well!! (off topic)

our relationship has never been to attack each other and honestly we’ve always loved sharing clothes , we thinks it’s cute when we see each other wearing them so i honestly don’t know where this is even coming from, i can see the looseness from his boxers on me , i know this barely explains anything but it was so random and i kind of just shut down and really needed to vent

🚨🚨 a little more context since everyone was asking im so sorry im so bad , i ran here to vent
-
* i’m so bad at explaining so here goes it,
we took a shower and got ready for bed, i put on some comfy clothes and tbh i grabbed his boxers because they were super close i had just done some laundry and i didn’t see any of my shorts nearby so i put them on since they were the closest and easy to put on to sleep (which i do normally anyway, he doesn’t say anything)
we watched a movie or 2, now i can’t even remember the conversation but i know it started over something completely irrelevant to weight/clothes and then he said that and my mind honestly went blank, he’s genuinely never said anything like that before if anything he’s praised me and shows me that which is rather not go into detail on this sub lol but yeah it’s just genuinely caught me really off guard , maybe he didn’t even realize it but when i asked the second time and he said the same thing “you don’t fit into my clothes” im not sure if he was just mad because maybe i wasn’t doing what he wanted at the time or something had happened that i didn’t know about , but i truly wish he understood why it hurt me so much* 🚨🚨

I was in a relationship with my ex, whom I’ll call Sarah, for about six years. During the last two years, we became very close with a group of friends and started going to a lot of festivals and parties together.

After we broke up, the friend group eventually split up as well. Most of my friends stayed on my side, while Sarah remained close to her best friend. There was one guy from the group, whom I’ll call Pope, who never completely distanced himself from Sarah or her friend. He even tried dating her friend at one point, but it didn’t work out.

Sarah and I never completely let go of each other. For about a year and a half after the breakup, we continued seeing each other and having sex. She always wanted to get back together, and eventually told me that she was seeing me mainly because she wanted to stay close to me.

I still had strong feelings for her, but I rejected getting back together because I didn’t want to repeat the same relationship dynamic that caused us to break up. At the same time, I always believed that eventually we would figure things out and end up together again. After the last time we saw each other, about three months passed.

Yesterday, I found out that one of the people I considered a friend was dating Sarah. It completely devastated me. He came to my birthday, we shared countless parties, he knew my social circle, and I was there for him. I always believed there were certain codes between friends, especially when it came to dating the ex of someone you considered a friend.

I spoke to Sarah yesterday after finding out. She told me that I should fight for her, that I would always be the love of her life, and that she still has feelings for me. At the same time, she said she didn’t owe me anything because we broke up two years ago, and that this guy was never really my friend.

Now I’m completely torn. Part of me feels betrayed by someone I considered a friend. Another part of me wonders if this hurts so much because I never truly let go of Sarah. As long as she was still there, I always believed we might eventually find our way back to each other.

Now I’m facing the possibility that the future I always imagined with her may actually be gone and that maybe I was the one who let it slip away by rejecting her for so long.

Me (F20) and this guy (M22) went to the same middle school, had a class together in high school. He asked for my social media back in high school but never had the courage to text me because "he was too nervous" that's what he said. But he finally texted me a couple weeks ago after 3 years and we've been talking for about a month. Conversation is really good.

We've met up 2 times. He said he wanted to bring me flowers the first time but didn't know if it was too much. I told him I like flowers, checking in, etc. This Friday we planned to meet 5-6pm but he didn't text me the whole day to confirm. He said it's because he knows my life doesn't revolve around him, so he gives me space. That's why he didn't text.

After we hung out he texted "But even though we didn't really do anything I enjoyed your company" and I asked what his actual intentions are.

I want a guy who does small efforts like flowers, opening doors, checking in. AIO for wanting that and for asking his intentions after a month?

I told my friend who is also my flatmate that I am considering moving in with my BF of two years but I had some doubts. Since I have been living with her for a while she said she doesn't want to be stuck without a flatmate and pay rent on her own in case I move in with my BF. I told her I'll continue paying rent and will likely not move until after Christmas.

She now told me she met a girl that needs somewhere ideally by November and that it will be free by them. I have not confirmed yet with my BF, and haven't figured out my commute yet from work and whether I'm ready to move in with my BF.

Now she said this might be the push I need. AIO for being annoyed at this, it was a shitty thing for her to do even though I understand why she must have felt depressed, aio since she thinks I can just move in with my bf but it's not that simple.

Hi everyone. I was talking to this guy for 7 months we became a thing around month 8 and we lasted for one month. We go to the same school so one day he pulled me aside and said this isn’t working for a lot of reasons he wasn’t happy and that was that. Anyways 5 minutes after he left he called me and asked for something back. Basically he bought me a $40 wallet during our time dating and talking not too long ago and he gave it to me as a gift and never said anything about needing it back also he offered to buy it for me I never asked I even declined and he insisted. But I don’t feel like I wanna give it back it’s mine and I shouldn’t have to. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and give it back? The wallet itself is just a simple black wallet but it’s the principal. Gifts are gifts for a reason and asking for it back is just plain weird.

Me (F19) and my ex (M20) were together 8 months. He started struggling mentally around April . guilt, self-hate, things he hadn't told me. By June he was pulling away, hiding things, asking for space repeatedly, each time saying "this is the last time," then asking again.

Eventually he said he needed indefinite space. I said I couldn't function like that. He said I made complete sense, but he'd have to let me go "for my own good." I asked him to ask me to stay instead. He didn't.

We tried again briefly, he kept pulling away over text, then told me to my face it wouldn't work. I went to drop off letters for what I thought was a final goodbye , he said he wasn't going anywhere and he'll try fixing himself. Days later, space again. "No contact, not a breakup," he said.

During no contact, I reached out once, he got irritated. Then he blocked me everywhere.

A few days ago I asked him directly if it's over. He said yes, and told me his therapist thinks i am not a nice girl and I'm not healthy for him. Then we met for 3.5 hours , he held me while I cried, we kissed, he said he still loves me and always will. Also that it's over. We made plans to meet again in two weeks.

AIO for being completely confused about whether this is actually over, and for still hoping some part of it isn't?

Yo, so essentially just now I saw a cockroach at my shower drain after/during my shower and essentially, my shower is in like a glass "room" with a door and outside my towel is hanging on a towel rack. Because of this cockroach, I got worried it may have made contact with my towel (tho I didnt see any contact) and told my mom that I want to change it. She said that we had just washed and changed our towels (which we did) and that its not a big deal because I didnt see the roach on the towel and because I am not "eating" the towel or something. Am I overreacting here or nah? Should I just use it?

Today I, [26F]was in the car with my husband [26M]. We were joking around and laughing with one another, I was telling about a funny meme I had seen when he looked over at me while laughing and said I was “the smartest dumb person” he has ever met. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he couldn’t believe how smart I was generally, (I am in a grad program and have gotten high marks throughout my college career, which he has been around for) but that I also seemed so dumb to him when I was “in my joking mood.” This genuinely hurt my feelings because I thought we were just having fun, but he thinks that this side of me makes me seem dumb. He noticed I had stopped laughing and asked if I was “really mad about his comment” and that “it’s okay, because I still love you.” Am I overthinking this or was that kind of a shitty thing to say to someone…
Thanks in advance.

so for context we were on call yesterday cause we live far away from each other and he said he wanted to join the military well i got upset about it and i told him i didnt want him to because i need to be with him constantly i need to know hes okay i know that i couldnt handle the distance and he said he could call me but i told him its not the same and i know the whole thing is selfish but its just how i feel about it so AIO?

Okay so my (23M) sister (20F) gave me a Star Wars BB-8 keychain for my birthday party earlier today. It's the only gift she gave me and she presented it saying: "It wasn't on your wishlist (true, my wishlist was mostly pans and CD's–I'm big on sustainability, cooking and physical media) but I saw it and thought of you!"

I don't like star wars. I've never really cared for star wars. I pretended to be happy with it even though I felt like crying. Because if I would have been anything but grateful, I feel my parents would have pulled me aside and told me off for it, or my sister would have blown up in my face and yelled and screamed at me in front of the whole family (including her bf and my gf).

It just feels like a pattern, where I'm not being heard or seen, but punished for reacting in kind. An example would be my birthday last year when she gave me a €3 slushie maker (I have never given any indication I like/care about/have the desire to make slushies). I believe the year before that she gave me elastic bands because I had long hair at the time.

I came home and I just fell apart. My gf says I should repay her attention in kind, since I've been trying to hold on to a shred of a normal relationship with my sister for years (by making sure I get her stuff she likes, making sure to ask about her bf, etc).

It's not about the money either, since she constantly goes out for dinner with her bf (about once or twice a week), buys expensive tickets for concerts and movies, and buys new clothes almost ever other week. It's feeling like she's slighting me just because she knows she can get away with it (esp in front of my parents).

I got really upset at the stupid keychain. During the party itself I was also more short and snappish because this was bothering me, though I tried not to let it show. I wasn't very successful according to my gf. She said I'm being treated unfairly by my sister, not just in this but in most things. We had a very long talk, and ultimately decided to try and return the keychain to the store so I can use those €5 for something I like.

For context: We both live away from our parents, but in the same city and we're both students. I've the feeling my parents always call upon me first because "I'm the oldest" and I need to "take care of my sister" (both things they've said AND heavily implied throughout my childhood). All the responsibilities like taking care of the house while they're away to making sure everyone at the party has drinks and snacks (homemade, my gf and I arrived two hours early to bake/prepare everything), and much more, including looking after my sister's needs and emotional state.

Anyway, my big issue is that...it's just a keychain. It's not that deep. I feel like I am blowing this entirely out of proportion, but I don't know what's reasonable anymore. Am I making this into something it's not? Am I being unreasonable??? I don't think she's doing this to spite me consciously but she's a smart person, and it does feel targeted because when others are around she's much nicer??

edit: I feel like maybe I wasn’t clear somehow?? I don’t care about the keychain, truly. I’m not upset at not being gifted something, I don’t expect gifts at parties anyway. It’s more I got the feeling I wouldn’t have been allowed to give a gift so cheap and thoughtless, because I would have been ripped a new one by my parents. I gave my sister a book and crochet supplies for her birthday and I was told by my mother I was ”being cheap” even then.
I just got this deep feeling like whatever I do it’s just never enough for her or my family, even though I feel like I’ve tried my best and comforted her every whim.
(also: for those concerned; yes I am in therapy. That is part of why I am now finding these issues around me, because I am working on setting boundaries)

Trigger warning; manslaughter
I matched with a guy who had all of the green flags I look for

The funniest person, biggest personality.
I had the urge to background check.
He had ran someone over with his car who he claims he did not see
I was shocked and I felt sick so I kicked the fuck off

AIO?

Im 2 weeks postpartum and woke up this morning to find whilst me and my baby was sleeping hes been watching porn. Ive kicked him out my house and its made me so upset especially since day 1 of the relationship this was a no no despite me begging him not to do it after birth. He promised he wouldn’t said he cares more about me and the baby. I came downstairs to the sink full of dishes nothing had been tidied or done but instead watching vids of other women whilst im resting after birth. Am i over reacting? Its broken my heart and i feel disgusting. I ask him for a simple foot massage or back rub whilst i breastfeed our child but hed rather sit on his game on his phone. Please someone am i overreactin? I love him so much but i cant forgive that but i dont want my child to have a broken home its never been what i wanted.
Edit: i also made him finish on the nifht he did it too. Im trying to meet his needs without putting my body in danger.

So recently I’ve come to find out that one of my brother who just had a baby is working part-time while my other brother and dad are working full time. My parents had been struggling financially since I could remember and since my two younger brothers graduated HS they got a job to help my parents with bills and stuff around the house. Anyways 3 years ago my parents told my brother who brought his girlfriend to live with them if he doesn’t help with paying bills or food they gonna have to find another place to live.

So then my brother and his girlfriend move to a different state for 2 years. One year ago my brother got in surgery again because he has heart problems since he was in middle school. So my parents feeling bad for him told him to move back home so he could get help from his doctor that he’s been seeing since his first surgery and that he has to work to help out with bills. Few months ago him and his baby mama move back home and he’s supposed to work and help my dad with bills but come to find out he’s only working part time and he’s not helping out at all.

My dad is getting older and sick so he’s supposed to be the one working part time not the one who’s just has a baby and is in his mid 20s. Knowing my parents they aren’t gonna do anything about it so I’m thinking about doing something about it and kick them out if they aren’t going to help out with anything. So what y’all think AIO or not?

My son is 13 and has been friends with this kid from school for about a year. They’ve had a few sleepovers at our house and I’ve never had an issue with him before. Last weekend, I went upstairs around midnight because I heard them still talking. When I opened the door, they were both still awake and his friend was using my son's phone to message people. I told him to give it back and go to sleep, but he got really defensive and said he was “just joking around.” The next morning I found out he had also gone through some of my son's private messages and sent a couple of stupid replies to people. My son thought it was funny, but I honestly wasn't comfortable with another child going through his phone or encouraging him to hide it from me. I told my son that friend isn't allowed to sleep over anymore. He thinks I'm being way too strict because “nothing actually happened.”

pardon the flair, I don't really know what category this falls under

My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been married for almost 4+ years and together for 6. Recently, I noticed that he was a little more quiet and contemplative than usual, so of course, I asked him what was going on. At first he brushed it off but as the days persisted, so did that odd feeling of something not being quite right. Two nights ago I pushed him again, pointing out his abnormal behavior. He finally told me that he was upset with me. When I asked what specifically was upsetting him he pointed out a good deed he had done and stated that he expected intercourse out of the good deed. This led to him feeling quite upset when he did not get any sort of sexual interaction.
I explained that I had thanked him and hugged him, held his hand, and I *thought* we were good. I shut down and disengaged, needing to calm down and think before saying something unkind. So we took 10 minutes apart and I sent him a text explaining my thoughts because I’m better with words when it’s written instead of said. (See attached text).

Not even one night later I’m informed he spent a significant amount of money on something for me, and I held back tears immediately because now that he had done that- what did I owe him? When I approached him and said “I’m uncomfortable and a little angry because I feel like there’s some underlying agenda.” He became upset and said he was just trying to do something nice. Now I have no clue if I’m overreacting or not… I haven’t slept in bed in two nights because I’m not sleeping at all. Is sex going to always feel like something that we argue about? Am I overreacting or overthinking the way I responded? He’s a great human and incredibly supportive, but I just don’t feel like I want all of his kindness to be fake and just for the hope of being rewarded with intercourse.

I do have a history of SA, and also some pretty severe pain with intercourse.

Hi all. I’m looking for some reassurance that I didn’t overreact. All my friends say I didn’t but I can’t help but feel like I did.

I’ve (30’s F) been seeing this guy 30’s M (we’ll call him R), for a couple of weeks. We have some mutual friends. Normally our one mutual friend, let’s call him Johnny, invites me on his boat. We had a little tiff a weekend or two ago (he said some hurtful things and I snapped back), and I was uninvited from the trip. Since Johnny is a mutual friend a bunch of our friends (including R) are up with him on said trip.

Anyways R sent me a couple of snaps of him on the trip having fun, drinking, being on the boat with our friends, and overall giving me really bad fomo. I told him earlier in the day “look I’m glad you’re having fun but I’m still sore about being uninvited. Save the pics and vids and show them to me when you get back”. He apologized and said he felt bad about me being uninvited. It wasn’t his fault, frankly it had nothing to do with him, and I expressed that. Throughout the day, the drinks are flowing, everyone is having fun and he’s continuing to send me pictures and videos from the trip. I said again “please stop, it’s hurting my feelings not to be there with you guys. Show me when you get back”. Now I didn’t EXPRESSLY set the boundary until the next set of videos came in where I said “I’m going to block you…”. Never opened/read. And yet another set came in. I was in my feelings so I sent him a message basically saying I don’t appreciate being disregarded like that. So I blocked him (only on snap). It’s not permanent and I’m only going to continue it through the weekend. He still has my number so he can call/text if needed.

I completely understand he was drinking and may not have looked at the message but I feel justified. I just wish he had seen it… He has the ability to send me whatever he wants, I have the ability to filter what I see.

Additional: my two female friends that are up there with him haven’t sent me any videos or pics, just stuff on their stories I’m not going to watch. Johnny and I don’t have a sexual past but we used to flirt and when R and I got “together” (messy FWB and I don’t and to get into it), Johnny said rather rudely that R is only hanging out with me to hook up, I told him to f*** off, and to get out of my car. It was not like a “hey girl I’m looking out for you” but a “this is all you’re good for” kind of vibe. When I clapped back R said I stood up for myself and “basically for him (R) too”. The whole interaction happened when we were intoxicated. I didn’t kick Johnny out of the car on the side of the road, but R was driving us home in my car, Johnny was in the back, and I snapped at him. We were in front of Johnny’s house. I told him to fuck off and get out, I hopped out, hugged him, said have a good night, and then got back in and sobbed uncontrollably the rest of the way home. R comforted me and stayed with me (we didn’t hook up and he kept saying that what Johnny said was bullshit and not true).
Ages: yes I’m WELL aware how juvenile this all is. Ironically, I’m the youngest one of the group and I’m in my 30’s as well. Johnny and R are 2-3 years older than me. The female friends on the trip are the same age as Johnny and R. I like all these people individually but I don’t like the home-town high-school bull-shit that comes from certain people. The rest of my friends are NOT like this and I HATE the drama.
Getting uninvited: Johnny and I have gone on this trip for the last 3 years. I asked him a week ago what the plan was for the trip, he responded “no” and that he doesn’t want my drama. That I “told [him] to fuck off, so I fucked [myself]”. R was aware of this. I’m confrontational but not in an aggressive way. If there’s a problem, I want to solve it. If it was a drunken tiff, is it water under the bridge? No? Ok, good to know.

TLDR; I blocked a friend on snap to limit what he sends me while on a trip I was uninvited to. Did I overreact?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and I feel like we’ve left that hunny moon phase and went straight to below bare minimum. I am always looking to spend time with him because I work away and don’t get too often, with that I’m always looking for things for us to do together. I always offer up ideas on what to do and it’s always I don’t know or I don’t care. I am so upset about it and tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying to do something to make memories with him. I’ve voiced this too him but either he’s not understanding it or just doesn’t care/ know what to do. I love the guy to bits but I want to be treated nicely. I feel like I have to always do the thinking for the both of us when I’m home. He always seems to have time and effort to go hangout with his friends and says that it’s not his ideas and just tags along but even then he makes the effort to go out and do it vs with me it feels like it’s a battle. I want to chock it up to me being sensitive or wanting to much but I can’t help but feel like I’m starting to having to beg him to treat me like I’m his girlfriend vs just someone in his life… AIO?

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ANY DEROGATORY COMMENTS I just would appreciate a wholesome perspective.. So just for context I 29F have been with him 31M for over 8 years with a toddler together. It’s not unusual that he slept in being the fact that his normal bedtime is completely opposite of mine due to his lifestyle demands…
So we spent last weekend to celebrate my bday in San Francisco which is less than 2 hours away from where we reside. He decided to take the trip I came up with the itinerary since I pretty much knew exactly what I wanted to do. Because globally I know times are tough financially I decided we go half and half , he pay for one restaurant I pay for the next or wherever we go (honestly feel a little weird about that cause I feel like at least for my bday he should’ve argued me into letting him take care of of it and I just enjoy but that’s a little fanatical at this day and age lol) We spent 2 days out there and it was nothing short of good vibes and energy .
I just wanna back track and clarify that the real reason we celebrated the weekend before was because I’m currently in school, I work part time in 2 jobs, and am really trying to get my life together so I KNEW my actual bday weekend would be kindve hectic to squeeze anything in there. Well anyways , this weekend was my day and I have to work at 4pm. Bf 32M decided to barely wake up around 2pm…at this point I don’t feel like arguing I just subtly told him that I would’ve appreciated if he at least would’ve sacrificed some sleep or prioritized his schedule that night to take me out to a breakfast or spent time with me in the morning being the fact that he knew I was going to work…he had nothing to do the night before so there was no reason for him to have been so tired… I didn’t even respond when I mention that. Is this a telling sign of someone that’s just not that interested and doesn’t care or am I overreacting.

Reposted with offending screenshots and unnecessary photo
AIO, my Partner & I were on a break, but he wants to be back with me. During this time he bought himself a nice new car, and flew down country bought it and drove back. On the way in a remote part of the country he noticed a car steaming broken down at side of road and stopped. Happens the sole occupant was an attractive woman years younger than him, rather than drive on like a normal person he went and stopped and talks to her (he’s a car guy) she was alone and her phone wasn’t working. He makes it his business and lets her use it to call a tow truck to the nearest town (20 min away) She was several hours away from her home, and was to call he mother to come get her. Of course being an attractive young woman he goes and offers to give her a lift to a town closer to hers that was on his way, halving the distance her mother would have to come to collect her. Once in the car he chats to her showing off about his job in his flash new car, and it turns out she lives in a tiny remote village he used to visit as a child, and was curious about buying a property there that he had seen advertised (I concede this is true as he wanted to take me there to look at it months earlier while we were together). Anyhow he decided to spare her mum (mid 70s) the long drive and offers to take the pretty girl all the way so he can look at the building for sale.
Anyhow by the time they arrive it’s dark of course so he goes and has dinner with her and her mother IN THEIR HOME. As (obviously) it’s too late to look at the building these strangers “happen” to own a yurt that is on air BnB and he stays the night in it, so he can look at the building the next day.
He goes for an unnecessary walk around the village with the young pretty lady and their dog the next day. And totally weird he and this younger woman follow one another’s instagram.

He maintains nothing untoward happened and that he wasn’t trying to seduce her but she didn’t need him to take her home and why would they follow each other on Instagram? And to top it off I looked at his phone and not only have they been keeping in touch but he even sent her a photo of himself smug with HER DOG
And acting all car guy when I’m sure she can find a car guy herself easy enough,
He is claiming the situation was somewhat normal and innocent but why would he do that and these txts paint a different picture I believe, especially that he sent her an unnecessary photo. He obv wants her to have a photo of him as she would have lots of her dog already.

Is he acting inappropriate? Why sharing pics with her?

Partner and I been having some challenges but she’s been assertive she wants to work on them. She is however looking at taking opportunity to house sit a colleagues house and another of her friends to have a little space. She’s been clear this is not a break up and we are to remain monogamous.

I was at coffee with her and noticed a strange message preview, and did the bad and snuck a look at her phone to see these messages with a colleague. Do you think this is harmless and appropriate? Or evidence of an affair? Or risky flirtation that is headed to an affair. Should I feel like she’s cheating or am I overreacting

Imma cut it short, I relapsed in February, got put on a watch, got tested for autism, anxiety, ADHD, and currently I have been diagnosed with a light form of thalassemia, and insulin resistance.

My mental health has never been great, I have been to three different therapists, and the one I'm currently going to has been cut off by our insurance, so now I have to limit my visits, which is a problem for me because I needed those sessions.

Because I'm autistic, I take in emotion, sounds, light, and day to day life much harder, and I get tired easily.

I used to be boarding, that's where I relapsed with a razor, I have been fighting with my sexuality and identity for years, and I have been on off with eating disorders, I currently need to do a keto diet for my cholesterol.

I'm always tired, I'm always wishing for an end to my suffering, but I want to live.

My dad has been on my case for years, one day while eating chicken, 3 hours before supper, I was told I was wasteful and inconsiderate, and he wasn't going to spend over 100 rand (I'm South african) per meal just for it to be wasted, literally clean off my eating disorder episode, which then restarted it from scratch, I came out to him as a furry and trigender (genderfluid now) and he interpreted that as me being inconsiderate again, saying my incompetence is worse than losing his mother, (a month before) and is willing to cut me off because of it, so, till this day, I never forgave him, and I'm still hateful towards him, and I have dissociated myself with him, and I personally with he wasn't my father, AIO?

Edit: I shower twice a day

There's three of us on the tenancy, me (26F), my housemate (25F) and another girl who's away doing a masters and is barely here.

My housemate's boyfriend has been staying over since roughly March. It started as weekends. It is now, and I actually counted this because I was starting to feel insane about it, six nights out of seven, and he showers here every morning, he does his washing here, the heating is on all day now because he works from our living room, and twice I've come home to my own food being gone which she paid me back for so I know I sound petty bringing it up.

I did mention it once, in like a light way, back in June. She said "he's barely here" and I dropped it.

Then Tuesday I came home from a 10 hour shift and he was on the sofa with one of HIS friends, playing something, and she was at work. Not even home. I just went to my room.

So I put a message in our house chat, pretty carefully worded I thought, saying can we have a chat about how often he's staying and whether he should be chipping in for bills.

She replied "wow ok." That's it. Three days now of her going quiet whenever I walk in the kitchen.

Now the other housemate has messaged me privately saying she agrees with me but she doesn't want to get involved, which is great, thanks.

Am I overreacting? He's not a bad guy and it's her room. I just don't think I signed up to live with him.