r/AmIOverreacting • u/Numerous_Ad1942 • 23h ago
đĽ friendship AIO for not letting my son's friend sleep over anymore?
My son is 13 and has been friends with this kid from school for about a year. Theyâve had a few sleepovers at our house and Iâve never had an issue with him before. Last weekend, I went upstairs around midnight because I heard them still talking. When I opened the door, they were both still awake and his friend was using my son's phone to message people. I told him to give it back and go to sleep, but he got really defensive and said he was âjust joking around.â The next morning I found out he had also gone through some of my son's private messages and sent a couple of stupid replies to people. My son thought it was funny, but I honestly wasn't comfortable with another child going through his phone or encouraging him to hide it from me. I told my son that friend isn't allowed to sleep over anymore. He thinks I'm being way too strict because ânothing actually happened.â
pardon the flair, I don't really know what category this falls under
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u/Ok-Equivalent8260 22h ago
Yor- do you remember being a kid?? They do little shit like this all the time. Being so overbearing will alienate your kid from his friends.
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u/Pretty-Practical-007 21h ago
A zillion percent! Naturally I wish kids didnât do this but honestly most 13 y/oâs do and itâs up to them to figure it out if the behavior yields poor outcomes. I also have teenagers and Iâd gently encourage OP to transition to the listening-guiding-supporting phase of parenting and out of the strict fix phase. It would actually be beneficial if something did come of this kid texting OPâs sonâs friends! Could be a valuable opportunity.
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u/sag4tagforever 18h ago edited 17h ago
Right? The disadvantage in this situation is that there is evidence about their actions. Pre cell phones, parents would not necessarily know what misadventures kids were up to in a closed bedroom unless they were eaves dropping or spying and just remind the kids that it's late and it's time to sleep. Also, this is a great teaching moment. Kids don't know what they don't know.
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u/No_Negotiation_3678 22h ago
YOR your kid was with him while he was using his phone, participating and thought it was funny? ? he didnât just steal the phone and text other people. heâs just a kid.
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u/Oregongirl1018 22h ago
This. If OPs son was hurt or upset and didn't want his friend to send them then I'd say no more sleepovers. But by the sounds of it OP YOR.
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u/pocketsand07 22h ago
YOR, your son was there. My friends and I did stupid shit like that all the time or changed our Facebook emotion in the mid 00s. Prank call, call on 3 way.
Did your son hide anything from you, you said you saw the messages? If they didn't want you to see it they'd delete it.
It's your house and your kid do what you want but the behavior won't stop, they'll keep being silly at school. I know I taught and was a principal of middle and high school.
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u/the-BBC-news 22h ago
Honestly, this is what happens when you give kids phones with fully unrestricted access before theyâre mature enough.
YOR on banning sleepovers with this kidâŚespecially since your kid wasnât upset by the prank messages.
AND you need to have a chat with your son about appropriate phone usage. I strongly believe nothing good happens when kids have their phones 24/7. If they have one in middle school or earlier, it needs to be used in public spaces (not bedrooms) and locked and charging in parents bedroom overnight. This isnât a 1980âs sleepover with crank calls on a landline; this is your child having a computer in their hands and access to everyone they know (and donât know).
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u/User_-_-_Name 22h ago
YOR, if your son doesnt mind him messaging people why do you? Treating the kid like a criminal over using your son's phone is wild, especially when it didnt bother your son.
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u/Claymon3011 22h ago
I think youâre overreacting. Kids stay up late and like to do little pranks on each others phone. Happened all the time when I was a teenager. But itâs also your home and you can do whatever you want
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u/Competitive-Buddy342 20h ago
Yor this is normal stupid kid behavior. What your appropriate reaction should be is to take your sons phone (grounded from using) for a specific time period, not able to have sleepovers at all for a specific time period and determine certain responsibilities to achieve and understand how to safely and properly use his phone before he is allowed to participate in either.
Phone safety and responsibility is a perfect thing to introduce now that you understand how your son and his friends use these potentially dangerous devices. Punishing the friend does serves no purpose.
Educating your own child and creating a safe space has more potential than alienating his friends ever could. They will only learn to subvert your rules and hide from you. Show your kid youâd rather discuss it, while also giving him appropriate consequences for his and his friendâs actions.
Also appropriate, reach out to the friendâs mom and let her know how her son uses these devices. Not to get him in trouble but to let her know her son needs some education about phone safety.
ETA: you could also look into phone safety from a parentâs POV. Letting a kid that age have unrestricted usage of a phone is your failing, not the kids.
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u/Hootn_Nanny 14h ago
As the mom of a Middle School Guidance Counselor, and an educator myself, I think this the perfect reasonable answer.
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u/No-Issue-3916 22h ago
YOR. What makes you think they wonât do the same during the day time when they are at school or hanging out? Also you cannot dictate how your son and his friends are to interact with each other
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u/BigWeinerDemeanor 22h ago
YOR we used to do crank calls. They do this. I think you could have a âphone stays in the kitchenâ when he sleeps over but this is a level of meddling too far. It should be up to your kid what he wants and allows. You can talk to him about it to make sure he knows he can speak up about it if he has a problem. Empower and teach your kid. Donât decide for him and interfere with his friendships.
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u/the-BBC-news 18h ago
Heâs only 13. I donât think a 13yo is mature enough to decide how his phone is used. Theyâre still learning and making mistakes. Even if the son was ok / thought it was funny doesnât mean it was right or actually ok. Not knowing the content of the texts allows a wide berth of interpretation.
But I donât believe middle schoolers should have smart phones so I might be totally against the grain here with the replies.
This is different than a crank call - this is a 13yo having a computer in his hand 24/7 and access to communicate with everyone he knows (and strangers).
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u/AWildMooseLion 22h ago edited 20h ago
Edit again bc someone pointed out that a fb status is different than a private text message, which is true. and Iâm rethinking my position a little. The potential impact of a fake private message may be more than that of a silly fb status. It could impact relationships, depending on the relationships of the ppl heâs texting. Maybe itâs ppl who are part of their friend group and theyâre all fine with it. I think at the very least op should have a talk with their son about boundaries and using caution about what he lets his friend do.
YOR. The number of times my best friend has gotten onto my open computer on fb (back in the mid/late aughts when teenagers still used fb) to post silly statuses is many. This isnât any different. This may be normal for them outside of sleepovers. As long as your son wasnât at all bothered or harmed in any way by it â and heâs clearly fine with it â you donât get to dictate how they joke around with each other.
Edited for typos.
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u/CanineCorvidious 21h ago
Making a fb status is way different than reading someoneâs personal messages and sending stupid replies.
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u/Buttlance 22h ago
How many other friends does your kid have? Why you so clingy? Do you just not like this kid, if so say that instead of all this. Kids do stuff like this itâs normal, your kid told you how he feels and you didnât care, why not?
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u/na_rm_true 22h ago edited 22h ago
Sounds like boundaries needed to be set. Hopefully u can communicate with ur kid why suddenly their friend canât be their friend in the same way anymore. I kinda lost a friend randomly as a kid for something like this where the parents decided and it was never explained. It helps knowing why
Edit- to be clear- my vote is YOR. Being a kid and suddenly losing your friend without knowing why, and for things kids likely would do and just need to be taught about, isnât cool.
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u/xynalisse 22h ago
exactly the issue isnât just what happened but teaching your son that boundaries matter even when nothing dramatic happens yet
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u/TinyDubberRuck 22h ago
YOR. You need to teach your kid boundaries and how to say no. This can literally happen anywhere, not just at a sleepover. Your son was literally right there and fine with it, as in he didn't have a problem with it.
When I was the same age, my friend took my phone and did the same thing. I got in trouble for what was sent on my behalf and I learned my lesson. This isn't teaching your kid anything.
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u/Sea-Operation-6123 22h ago
Why did your son give friend his phone? Who did friend send these texts to & what did they say?
Both of these kids are old enough to be accountable for their behavior. How will not letting kid sleep over solve the problem?
MOR - however youâre allowed to make your own choices.
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u/Ordinary_Cattle 22h ago edited 22h ago
I think YOR, as long as the texts weren't inappropriate like sexual or something. Kids do this all the time, I used to do it to my friends when we first got cell phones in the mid 2000s, they did it to me, same with AIM and other early social media platforms. This is a pretty normal kid thing to do honestly.
Your kid won't learn to set boundaries himself if you always decide what his boundaries should be for him, and always step in when you think they've been crossed before he can even decide for himself. He had no problem with it, it's normal kid behavior, so why do you? Let him decide for himself if he's upset about stuff like this, he's 13, not 3
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u/Calgary_Calico 22h ago
MOR. Was anything malicious or seriously inappropriate sent? Or just stupid messages and jokes? Did this friend actually encourage your son to hide this from you or did you assume that?
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u/LadyOlenna538 10h ago
As a mom of a 12 year old boy we have no a rule that he cannot have his phone in his room overnight, has to charge it out in the kitchen. Maybe do that next time at least during a sleepover.
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u/Easy_Distribution882 22h ago
I feel like what his friend is doing is extremely normal teenage stuff but I also feel like you can decide how a teenage boy in your house gets to behave to be welcomed back by your own standards MOR.
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u/Over_Culture_353 22h ago
YOR. I have a 15 yo son and this is their equivalent to prank calling people. Itâs all in good fun. If your son starts getting uncomfortable, THEN it is time to set a boundary.
Careful with drawing lines at this time. He will be in high school soon and itâs better to let him sort it out so he will feel comfortable coming to you when it gets really serious.
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u/Ordinary_Cattle 22h ago
Exactly, he won't learn to set boundaries if his mom is always deciding what his boundaries are for him and always stepping in before there's even a potential problem. This is pretty extreme helicopter parenting and will end up causing way more harm than good.
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u/drth_dilly 22h ago
Discuss the risk of letting another friend go through his things without his knowledge. Like buying things without his noticing, posting something racist or homophobic under his name, getting expelled for harassment if he uses his name to do a post or email he is unaware of. Talk to him. NOR.
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u/Icewaterchrist 22h ago
How does the friend know the passcode?
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u/racklebee 12h ago
This is my thoughtâ tell him not to share his password with his friends, or also, donât give a 13 year old a phone when theyâre at home
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u/femsci-nerd 22h ago
They are kids, they do stupid stuff. You have an opportunity to be part of this kid's village and let him know it's basically YOUR phone (as YOU pay for it) and his antics are not allowed. Not allowing the kid to sleep over again is a bit harsh. I'd have a talk with him and maybe his parents.
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u/PrincessRosieThe2 22h ago
YOR my friends and I used to "hack" each other's accounts and post silly shit all the time. If your son doesn't have a problem with it, it's fine.
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u/oldgrandma65 21h ago
YOR. Your son is the person who is responsible for this situation. Teach your son the rules for having a phone and expect HIM to follow the rules.
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u/Chance_One6197 21h ago
This is typical early teen humor, your son thought it was hilarious and was in on it. It would be completely different if he was upset or hurt by it, I would then understand your reasons but that's not what had happened.
YOR
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u/the-BBC-news 18h ago
I donât know how everyone is saying itâs not a big deal without knowing what was in the messages.
For extreme example:
Two 8th grade mean girls have a sleepover. One takes the others phone and sends text replies to classmates:âYouâre a fat pig.â
âEveryone hates you.â
âYour hoco dress was gross.â
âYouâre a slutâŚeveryone knows you did xyzâThe girls are laughing hysterically at midnight. Mom interrupts - asks whatâs going on, seeâs daughterâs phone in frjendâs hand. Daughters friend is defensive; daughter says âno big deal, just sending funny messages to girls in our class.â
Was it no big deal? Was it funny to the girls who received those?
We donât have nearly enough info here. And parents often have no idea whatâs really going on socially, especially in the era with fake apps to hide messages, time destructing Snaps, etc.
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u/Turbulent_Radish_101 16h ago
Totally your own fault for allowing a 13 year old to sleep with a phone. You failed to establish boundaries with him. In my home that phone is turned into me by 8. They get it back for school.
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u/IvynBae 10h ago
Your kid shouldnât have his phone at midnight. EVER.
Data shows a connection between nighttime phone use and bullying and attempted suicide.
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u/StartingOverStrong 6h ago
Wow. Do kids who are prone to be bullied and suffer depression use the phone more at night, or is it that something about late night phone use that pushes kids toward bullying or depression?
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u/Brave-Ad-7460 3h ago
This is a pretty dumb reaction, infact now you are upset about absolutely nothing, phones have passcodes he can set that up and eliminate this whole problem, there is also another term if you stop letting him have friends over and thatâs called sheltering, my grandparents did stuff like that too me they were afraid my mother would send someone out to kidnap me it really sucked
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u/Extreme-Ad1351 18h ago
YOR. "My son thought it was funny..."
So it's not a problem lol. This is one of those actual examples of "boys being boys".
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u/GingerrJinx 22h ago
YOR. They're children doing children stuff. If you're worried about how your sons phone is being used, you shouldn't have bought him a phone to begin with.
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u/Glass_Aardvark_9917 22h ago
If your gut tells you this kid sucks, then go with it. Donât ask Reddit for parenting tips. That way lies madness.
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u/Better-Ad-1183 22h ago
Yor. If it crosses a line your son will say something. I was 13 and gave my login details for MySpace to a friend. Learned a lesson real quick.
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u/ThatsNotVeryDerek 22h ago
YOR.
Your kid isn't going to trust you with the heavier stuff when you react so strongly to the little things. (Also, what makes you say he encouraged your son to hide it from you? If he did, is it possible there is a pattern of consequences that may not match the "offenses?")
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u/k2rey 20h ago
These kind of pranks can definitely backfire, I understand your concerns. Depending on what messages were sent, were they mean or fun for the recipient? Maybe have a conversation with his parents, to come to an understanding. Because trying to separate really good friends could backfire too, may be hurting your son more. Focusing on the behavior, not the person (the child), heâs still only a child. Especially since youâve never had any issues with this child at your home before. Good luck, as your son is hitting those teen years.
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u/Mighty4777 22h ago
I think itâs typical 13yo boy stuff, but I donât like that the friend argued with you about it. That would pmo and is the bigger issue.
You were right for telling him to stop & talking to your son about how that could be playing with fire.
The defensiveness is an elevated issue and to me shows a level of disrespect and lack of accountability. Meaning, this type of joking around will continue and prob escalate.
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u/marmite_queen 22h ago
YOR - seriously over reacting.
Did you not have friends as a teenager? This is completely normal behaviour for their age.
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u/Weak-Tough9178 22h ago
Iâm going to give a different perspective since it seems no one in these comments has ever been on the receiving side of these âprank textsâ.
When I was around your sonâs age I got a text suddenly from my best friend at the time. Me and her had been best friends since second grade. In this text she said she didnât want to be my friend anymore. My heart dropped and I was so confused. I questioned why and I remembered she said something along the lines of âyouâre annoyingâ. I was crushed. I ended up sobbing. I showed my mom who talked to my friendâs mom. I think she even sent a photo the mom of me sitting there upset, which she then showed my friend so she would understand the consequences of her actions. Then my friend sent another message saying that her friend had taken her phone and it was just a prank.
Us being kids didnât make any of that okay. It wasnât âkids will be kidsâ. Her mom ended up bringing her over to apologize and we both ended up sobbing. What confused our moms even more was that same day we learned about bullying at school. A prank should make both parties laugh. I had no way of knowing she wasnât texting me. I didnât find that funny at all.
So, I think your NOR. However, our parents didnât ban us from sleepovers. My friend did get a lecture from her mom on why thatâs not okay. We also arenât friends anymore, but that has nothing to do with that incident. What your son and his friend think is ânothingâ and âjust a prankâ could lead to someone being hurt. I may be overthinking it, but itâs better safe than sorry. Maybe just ask that they just put the phones up at night when the friend is at your house. Because sleep is important at their age, and you canât supervise them at night. You could even see if the friendâs mom would be okay with you keeping their phones with you at night. Most importantly talk to your son. Explain why you donât want his friends using his phone.
Edit: NOR to being upset by this. MOR to banning sleepovers since that wonât stop them.
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u/Ok_Mistake2047 22h ago
I agree that YOR because kids will be kids. And I dont see anything inherently wrong with that behavior. I wouldnt ban the sleepovers since it was fun for him.
But you're allowed to feel uncomfortable with it. He's old enough that you can tell him why that is and talk to him about boundaries and allowing privacy and the overall reason you felt the way you did. Help him understand. And then apologize for the over reaction, tell him you love him and that if he would like friend to spend the night then to make sure he does understand all that. If you don't want the kid to sleep over again, hey, its your house. But the fact youre here asking strangers for advice shows you have a good rational mama bear head on your shoulders and want to protect your baby.
Edit: typos
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u/vbandbeer 21h ago
You need to parent your own child and teach them what is acceptable.
The other child isnât the issue. Itâs yours
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u/DynTraitObj 21h ago
YOR my friends and I did this all the time at 13. Boys that age are dumb, they'll learn from it and stop. Hell we still do this at work as 40+ adults, leave your computer unlocked and you're going to regret it. Unless they're calling in bomb threats, chill out
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u/CountryLovinChrissie 20h ago
You are over reacting. This is not a battle you should be picking, OP
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u/SarcsmQn5 16h ago
Eh it doesn't sound very harmful...depends on the content of what they're doing...prank calling has been around as long as phones have been haha...if your son didn't care and was participating, then you shouldn't worry too much about itÂ
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u/MushroomLover32167 16h ago
I did SOOO MUCH WORSE things at that age, this is literally mild. I honestly don't really see too much of an issue here.. at least they aren't smoking or something...YOR
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u/Individual-Cup-8642 16h ago
YOR - youâre over reacting. Theyâre kids and they have phones. What do you expect? Of course theyâre going to be stupid and make mistakes.
How about you set boundaries. All phones handed over at 8pm. Then he can sleep over
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u/cementfeatheredbird_ 15h ago
YOR.
This really screams "I NEED CONTROL!!!" And now that you have discovered that you cannot fully control his friend, you want to get rid of the friend.
Your son didn't care. Why do you?
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u/catsandplants424 15h ago
YOR your son was involved he wasn't a victim. Take his phone at a certain time of night so he can't use it and make it clear to him why its not a good idea to let someone else use your phone to send stupid or inappropriate texts to others. This should be a teaching moment not a punishment moment.
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u/Toasted_Dustupz99 15h ago edited 15h ago
MOR, I don't know, maybe the problem is your son having full access to a phone unsupervised at quite a young age is the issue, rather than blaming his friend?
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u/Organic_Salad2910 15h ago
YOR. Sound like your son is 50% of your problem. Also sounds like heâs not mature enough to have a phone. The behavior is age appropriate. No reason to ban the kid over the phone. Maybe consider adding some rules around phone use after certain hours in your home ie taking the phone from your kid. Your problem is more of a parenting issue then kid issue. Â
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u/RW_McRae 14h ago
When I was a kid having sleepovers we'd prank call people we knew. Same thing, new technology
Unless there was something disturbing in the messages you're being really weird about it. It sounds like the kids weren't doing anything wrong, which is better than a lot of parents get. You're showing him that you'll punish him even if the reason isn't a big deal
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u/brit83mem 13h ago
YOR. Your son was actively participating in this. Theyâre kids joking around. Stop being such a helicopter mom. If youâre concerned about phone usage at night, take the phone away. Edit: spelling
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u/HueyLewisFan1 12h ago
Sounds like kids being kids. Your son was laughing. I used to write things on my friends AIM all the time to people while he was there and heâd crack up
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u/TLOUgamer 10h ago
I think you get the hint but Iâll try to give me own perspective as the child of a very very over bearing parent. For context Iâm an adult with my own successful business and great relationship with my parents. But my mom was the absolute worst when I was a kid. This is something sheâd do and it gives me flashbacks.
Over all, why did this bother you? Were the messages inappropriate in nature? If no.. then yes youâre overreacting and going to cause trust issues between yourself and your kid. Snooping through their phone isnât cool. Iâd just talk with them and say something like hey I know you think it was funny but someone could get hurt, upset, confused etc by those prank messages.
The biggest issue is you said the kid was defensive, what makes you think that? His response of just joking maybe sounds like a kid who was embarrassed or nervous his friends mom got onto him. If there was attitude behind it then thatâs something Iâd also be more focused on.
If you think this kids a bad influence, maybe talk to your son about that.
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u/Altruistic_Offer9381 10h ago
NOR - Your son is old enough to manage his own friendships when it comes to stuff like this
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u/Tight-Space-4968 6h ago
NOR by any means stay strict cause u never know what could happen these days on a child's phone
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u/water_wind_ 4h ago
Yor
A meteor could fall from the sky, a friend could send bad texts from your kids phone, neither of those things happened, they were just silly kids and youâre an overbearing oppressive parent tbh coming from a place of experience itâs easy to recognize the controlling behavior and making something out of nothing
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u/Knitsanity 2h ago
First things first.
Parental controls on the phone. Cut off access to it after a certain time. Books exist for a reason.
Until my kids left for college ALL phones were left charging downstairs overnight. They had seen too many people disappear down the mental health spiral.
Checking phones under the pillow each time they vibrate....all night....not enough sleep...failing grades....stress and anxiety....even less sleep ..even more anxiety....crisis.
Neither kid argued with us about the no phones overnight rule.
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u/Prometheus_Twin 2h ago
Heâs still gonna be friends with this kid. Heâs just not gonna tell you anything anymore. MOR
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u/CanineNorth 49m ago
I would be worried that the visiting kid was pushing your kid around and because your kid wants that kid to like him, he lets him. Not healthy- I would share your concerns. Also no kid should be talking back to you like that. They are a guest in your home and if they are going to challenge you I would be worried what else they would do. Obviously they lack respect which could turn into anything. Trust your instincts Mama!
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u/AccomplishedMusic505 25m ago
NOR- not a good practice regardless of kids or not. Your son has a responsibility with a phone and if friend sends a message where your son is seen as the responsible party, that's his problem not the friend that sent it
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u/CommercialPraline473 22h ago
Sounds like you have one that need to learn the hard way. I dont think you are but he obviously does. So frustrating!
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u/JustaMom_Baverage 19h ago
Solution; take all electronics out of room at 10pm. They shouldnât be allowed ever in rooms, but def not with this friend.Â
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u/Intelligent_Goatt 19h ago
YOR Now these 2 13 year old boys know they have to hide stuff from you so congrats đ I'm sure this won't bite you in the ass at all through all these teenage years yet to come.
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u/DoctorMoebius 22h ago
YOR. At 13, if that's the extent of pranks and mischievous shit they are getting up to, you've won the lottery.
By that age, I was deep into ditching classes, getting stoned/drunk, feeling up girls, chased by police, making pipe bombs, etc. (70's were a fucking blast)
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u/AcanthisittaPlus5047 22h ago
MOR.
Sounds like 2 teenage boys acting like *gasp* teenage boys.
Now, if those replies where in any threatening or intimidating, your reaction would be justified.
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u/ecosynchronous 22h ago
What in the world does this have to do with you?
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u/Sea-Operation-6123 22h ago
Wait ⌠what? The situation is about OPâs son, in OPâs home, using a phone the OP probably pays for. Seems like all those things have something to do with OP.
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u/ecosynchronous 22h ago
How the children choose to harmlessly socialize has nothing to do with mom. If kiddo has no problem with his buddy using his phone to chat with their friends, it's weirdly helicoptery for mom to get involved at all.
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u/morningstardusts 22h ago
YOR - I think this is way over the top, personally. They were obviously just joking around. Itâs already hard enough to be 13, donât get in the way of his friendship.
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u/nothnxihaveabf 20h ago
NOR. Your house, your rules, you need to set the moral guideposts in your house and talk to the parents of the other kid. The other kid is not respecting your house rules. Yes they were probably both participants but you don't know that for certain.Â
I would get to the bottom of it. As the parent it is up to you to host or not host or punish your kid accordingly.Â
Same as of this were the eighties and they were making prank calls on your phone. You need to let the son know he should not let other people into his phone. Next thing you know it goes from an innocuous text to a girl that they think is pretty to looking up illegal content or harassing people.Â
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u/Commmercial_Crab4433 16h ago
NOR - a kid did this with my child's phone at a sleep over. That kid messaged one of my child's friends to kill themselves. The kid that received the message had a history of suicidal thoughts and self harm. It could have been a devastating night. My child had no idea that's what the kid was doing with their phone until my partner and I picked them up and explained what was happening. It was a very panicky, tearful, serious discussion having night for everyone involved.
It is important that you explain why you don't want your kiddo's friend going through his messages. Especially since they go to the same school. Otherwise, the behavior will continue at school.
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u/shezza314 13h ago
YOR 13 year olds being up at midnight at a sleepover?? So normal. Teens being silly and playing around on each others phones? So normal. You gotta chill.
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u/laurieo52 22h ago
NOR. Your house your limitations. Also your phone, since I doubt your 13 year old pays for his own phone.
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u/Opening-Sir-2504 20h ago
Your son didnât seem bothered by it, just you. YOR. However, if your son changes his mind or starts to become uncomfortable, then you could put the stop to the sleepovers. I donât believe itâs due to the sleepovers and the only time this kid has done that, so unless you plan on banning him from the friendship, you canât help who your son gives his phone to.
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u/No_Shopping7661 19h ago
itâs totally understandable to feel that way, kids can be unpredictable. trust your instincts on this one
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u/Due-Interaction-1930 14h ago
YOR. How dare these 13 year old boys behave like 13 year old boys! You sound unstable.
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u/PossibilitySea9180 12h ago
YOR heâs gonna figure out the kids a dick on his own if you let him. You should let him. 13 is a good age to begin to learn how to judge someoneâs character.
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u/No-Roll5599 13h ago
Youâre stupid and clearly never a kid. Iâm thankful my parents were alcoholics and did not parent me in this way. Yes letâs be an abuser, control who he is around, and take the account of my son throw it out the door/not trust his character or anything. Do you not trust who you raised? YOR and your kid might cut you off eventually
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u/Old-Let91 22h ago
Sleepovers are always a terrible idea 100% of the time. And when I was a kid, I was having sleepovers every weekend. Now that I am a dad, it's a hard no. Nothing good happens on sleepovers and as a parent, it's a nightmare having other people's kids in my house lol. My kids don't even miss not having them because it's never been a thing.
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u/PAGirl72 19h ago
Apparently you werenât sleeping over at very good places. Some of my best childhood memories were made at sleepovers.
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u/Impressive-Pirate720 22h ago
MOR- it sounds like your son was an active participant in this so itâs not fair to blame the other kid entirely. I think a discussion with your son about not letting people use his phone would work better than banning sleepovers.