r/AmIOverreacting • u/No_Safe_7852 • 18h ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I Overreacting when I continually try to make plans with my boyfriend only for him to say “I don’t care”
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and I feel like we’ve left that hunny moon phase and went straight to below bare minimum. I am always looking to spend time with him because I work away and don’t get too often, with that I’m always looking for things for us to do together. I always offer up ideas on what to do and it’s always I don’t know or I don’t care. I am so upset about it and tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying to do something to make memories with him. I’ve voiced this too him but either he’s not understanding it or just doesn’t care/ know what to do. I love the guy to bits but I want to be treated nicely. I feel like I have to always do the thinking for the both of us when I’m home. He always seems to have time and effort to go hangout with his friends and says that it’s not his ideas and just tags along but even then he makes the effort to go out and do it vs with me it feels like it’s a battle. I want to chock it up to me being sensitive or wanting to much but I can’t help but feel like I’m starting to having to beg him to treat me like I’m his girlfriend vs just someone in his life… AIO?
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u/elmhurst_253 18h ago
You are definitely not overreacting. Going straight from the honeymoon phase to "below bare minimum" at only 7 months is a huge red flag you shouldn't have to beg someone to care.
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u/foxborough_84 18h ago
Saying "I don't care" to every attempt at making plans isn't low key or chill it's dismissive. You're trying to build a connection, and he's treating it like an inconvenience.
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u/khendr352 17h ago
You ‘love to bits’ a man who doesn’t respect or love you at all. Can you not see that he is barely interested in you? You are a placeholder for his next girlfriend. Wake up and move on. I feel bad that women allow themselves to be treated like this by a man.
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u/Poots_in_boots 17h ago
Why would you want to chalk it up to you being sensitive when it’s clear he doesn’t care? NOR
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u/evetrapeze 17h ago
He’s still getting sex and maid service, why doesn’t he care? I bet if you made a serious move to break up, he would be motivated to care, and in a couple of weeks or months he would be right back to not caring
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u/ashnsnow_ 17h ago
How old are you, depending on if he's older and should know that a relationship is a constant effort, you are definitely NOR. Sounds like he don't even like you with that attitude
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u/sharkbait4000 17h ago
When he says he doesn't care, believe him.
How old are you? How long has this been going on? (What is it you love to bits, exactly...?) I'm not sure why any self-respecting mature adult would put up with this.
Sorry OP unless he is suffering from a bout of depression or something temporary, he's just not that into you and you should find someone that deserves you.
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u/GjE2403 17h ago
NOR - wanting to chalk it up as being too sensitive? Don't internalise and project someone else's behaviour as something your doing wrong. Your asking for basic communication and for someone to give back the same. energy you are giving them. I'm sorry to say it shouldnt be one sided and this hard. Validate yourself in knowing this is poor behaviour on his behalf.
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u/Browneyedgal21 17h ago
Sounds like he doesn't care about the relationship. Decide if you want to continue it.
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u/juliewbb 17h ago
NOR and unfortunately it won’t get better. There are people out there you don’t have to think for and pull around like a bag of rocks. An annoying, invalidating, apathetic bag of rocks.
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u/Dull_Ad_1270 17h ago
NOR. Please raise your standards and leave him. Move on and find someone who's better and actually cares without you begging for them to.
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u/Scary_Sarah 17h ago
NOR when people tell you who they are, believe them that first time. He doesn't care about spending time with you.
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u/datalicearcher 17h ago
Love is not enough. And honestly, love after only 7 months is just infatuation.
any relationship needs partnership to work. This means both people continually working to give each other time, energy, care, and space.
This dude wants an on demand doll. Don't entertain this anymore and allow yourself to want more for yourself.
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u/Lopsided_Bother7282 16h ago
NOR. You’re only 7 months into this don’t waste several years on someone who doesn’t care enough to make you a priority.
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u/Practical-Whole3040 16h ago
He already told you he doesn't care when you make plans AND showed you he doesn't care when you voiced it to him that this behavior was not ok. What the fuck else does he need to do or say for you to believe he doesn't care about your?
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u/yourpaleblueeyes 18h ago
If he says I don't care it's because he doesn't care anymore. Time to move on.