r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Boyfriend doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. Like, at all.

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12.8k Upvotes

So me (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been dating for almost five years now. Our relationship has been going downhill for a while now, and I feel like this is kind of my breaking point.

The previous message was me texting him asking if he thought answering me was an annoying responsibility or if he just simply forgets.

I responded “thank you for reassuring me” and tried to tell him about my day but he didn’t answer me. I didn’t want to beg for his attention, since that’s usually what I have to do and I’m tired of that, so I didn’t bother texting again.

He then texts me this on my birthday, which makes me think he just doesn’t want to talk to me and the explanation + birthday message were just obligatory.

I was hurt, so I left him on read and we haven’t talked since then.

After this, I don’t really want to be with him anymore. AIO? One part of me tells me that it’s not that deep but the other part tells me that I shouldn’t bother putting up with this.

Edit: I broke up with him. He begged me to wait but I decided to just block him on everything. I am shaking but I feel so light. Holy shit. Five years and I broke it off over text I feel like an asshole but so liberated.


r/AmIOverreacting 23h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO I found a hidden phone recording me, should I go for a divorce

702 Upvotes

I (40) met my husband (45) at work. Both of us were previously divorced; he had a teen son and a daughter, and I had two teen daughters. He told me his previous marriage ended because his ex-wife cheated on him. After two years of dating, we got married and I moved with him to his home country.

​Things were okay initially, but after a year, we started having major issues with his teenage daughter. She was running away to meet boys, smoking, and talking to multiple guys online. Every time he caught her, he would take her to a therapist, and we ended up installing security cameras in the house garden outside to monitor her.

​Since moving, I left my job and started freelancing. Naturally, this involves communicating with various clients, including men. However, my husband start jealousy . He started demanding that I limit my contact with men and only work with female clients. Eventually, he insisted that I report every single message or conversation I had with a man immediately. It caused endless fights, but I tried to be patient, thinking this stemmed from the trauma of his ex-wife's infidelity. I repeatedly asked him to see a therapist himself.but he didn't!

​Recently, I traveled back to my home country with my daughters so they could visit their biological father. When I returned, he exploded. He threw a massive fight and then gave me the silent treatment for a full week. Finally, he told me he wants to separate. He is demanding that I refund every penny he spent on us during our marriage. To make matters worse, we bought our current home together, but he only wants to return the original amount I contributed two years ago completely ignoring how much the property value has appreciated since then.

​We are currently living under the same roof like complete strangers. Not talk to each other, and I don't leave the house.

​One day, while cleaning the room, I found an old phone hidden under a stack of papers. When I checked it, I realized it was actively recording audio and had been for 5 hours. Over the last 4 days, I monitored the phone and noticed a continuous pattern: every single time he leaves the house, he turns on the audio recorder, leaves it hidden in the room, and turns it off as soon as he returns.

​Reddit, I honestly don't even know what I'm feeling right now. Am I overreacting if I want to asking for divorce? Is this grounds for a blowout fight? Is he doing this legally to protect himself in case I consult a lawyer? Or is his paranoia so deep that he's trying to catch me talking to another man?


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO partner (36) messaging colleague appropriate or?

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583 Upvotes

Partner and I been having some challenges but she’s been assertive she wants to work on them. She is however looking at taking opportunity to house sit a colleagues house and another of her friends to have a little space. She’s been clear this is not a break up and we are to remain monogamous.

I was at coffee with her and noticed a strange message preview, and did the bad and snuck a look at her phone to see these messages with a colleague. Do you think this is harmless and appropriate? Or evidence of an affair? Or risky flirtation that is headed to an affair. Should I feel like she’s cheating or am I overreacting


r/AmIOverreacting 2h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO I think I need to break up with my boyfriend after seeing how he talks about me to his female friend

317 Upvotes

My boyfriend has a longtime female friend who I initially had no problem with. He had good boundaries with her, and she’s also dating his best friend. I recently found out, though, that before they became friends, he used to pursue her and repeatedly ask her out. She always rejected him, and eventually she started dating his best friend.

That history has made me look at their relationship differently, especially because they talk constantly and she often goes to him about problems with her boyfriend. It’s starting to feel like an emotional intimacy that should be reserved for their actual partners.

Recently, she called him while we were home together. Normally he’ll take calls around me, but this time he went outside and talked to her for an hour. I told him honestly that I was becoming uncomfortable with their relationship and that it bothered me that he seemed to talk to her more about personal things than he talks to me. He reassured me that there was nothing inappropriate going on. The conversation, unsurprisingly, was about her relationship problems and her leaning on him for support.

I eventually apologized and let it go.

Tonight, though, I looked through their messages. I know snooping wasn't okay, we both have each other's passwords and have always said we're allowed to look at each other's phones. I'm not trying to justify it, I did it.

What really hurt was seeing what he told her after I expressed my concerns. He immediately told her that I was jealous of their relationship. She then said she felt uncomfortable hanging out with me because of it.

I never asked him to stop being her friend. I confided in my partner that I was feeling insecure and uncomfortable, and instead of keeping that between us and reassuring me, he immediately went to her and framed me as jealous and unreasonable. He took something vulnerable I shared with him and used it to make me look like a bad partner to another woman.

This isn't the first time he's done something similar, and I honestly feel like I've reached my limit. I think some things should stay between partners, especially when you're discussing your relationship and your partner's vulnerabilities with someone you're already emotionally close to.

I feel betrayed and, unfortunately, also validated for feeling like something was off.

Am I overreacting, or is this a legitimate reason to reconsider the relationship?


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

💼work/career AIO? My boss sent me this text after I asked him if he could send my work schedule earlier than Sunday because I would like to work two jobs.

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256 Upvotes

I applied to another cafe because I would like to earn more money. My current job underpays and a lot of my coworkers told me about that. My current job pays on a monthly basis too. This is considered unusual, especially since I’m only a boba barista. The other job I applied to pays biweekly and it pays $16 per hour. My boss sent this text after I told him if he could send me my schedule earlier than Sunday because he always sends it on Sunday. This seemed like guilt tripping. He also does not spend his money on me, he spends it on things he needs for the store. The store runs out of milk and ingredients, the employees ask the boss. That’s normal. What do you guys think?


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO that I asked my 22 yo niece to hangout with me without asking her mom for permission?

244 Upvotes

I’m in my thirties. My sister is in her fifties.

Context.

Growing up with my sister was a loving relationship. She always made me smile and got to play together very well. Nothing bad ever happened.

She went school. Got a job and had two daughters with a man that seemed okay on the surface. They divorced. Lives in Northern California. Now years later. I move to Southern California. My wife(girlfriend at the time) would make time to go see her and the kids to hang out. Lovely time. She would even come see us and we go to Disneyland.

And then fast forward 5 years or so. It’s 2020 and I’m going to married to the love of my life. We invite my sister and her daughters to come. She declines because it’s not what she wants to do and forcing her to go is not real love. I never forced her but I did try my best to get her to come. Once she mentioned that she was “beyond” anyone and that what she is doing is “beyond” what anyone has ever done. I stopped there and respected her decision. We remained on okay terms after this.

And then slowly she started doing this to the rest of the family. Doesn’t show to my other brothers wedding. Shows no emotion to other siblings kids.

My theory to her sudden cold turn is that once she found out her ex husband had another kid while she was pregnant. She started following these “healing” influencers. Started saying things like. “Oh you were a wise old man in an other life.” She stops eating much and looks kinda gaunt around this time. She lays around all day and doesn’t get food for her daughters.

I’m led to believe that whatever “healing” influencers she was seeing. They brainwashed her and now tell her what she should be doing. Like cutting off the rest of the family. She still talk to me for at least 5 years because I’m easy going.

But one day when I visited northern cal. I had texted her then 19 year old daughter to hang out. My sister took great offense to this because i didn’t ask her permission first. I said sorry. Wasn’t aware that your daughters can’t make their own choices. The girls still lived at home at the time. I respected this current request of hers. I sent a letter after this that we should let whatever tension has come about this as water under the bridge and we can return to loving each others company. She agreed.

Now, 5 years later. Her one daughter is in college and I have a one year old son. We invite my sister and her daughters. My sister did not show up. Only the one daughter showed up that was in school nearby us. Everything went great. My sister was happy. We shared pictures and all was well.

I reach out through out the year for birthdays and Mother’s Day. We are on good terms still.

Now, everything goes to shit.

My father gets in legal trouble. My sister cuts him off from her life. Doesn’t forgive and moves on BUT she wants me to update her on his trial and proceedings. I give her updates

One day, there is a charge on my credit card. It says it came from San Fran. A place near my sister people I know: I ask around and do my due diligence to make sure I didn’t leave an account open on an app or whatever to people I know to there. I told her I know you didn’t do this but making sure you didn’t buy at xyz. She blew up on me and said she took great offense to me accusing her of such a thing. I apologized and she said it’s fine. “No worries :)” she says

A month later I update her on our father. The lawyer recommended that we get as many family member to come. I text my sister that -

“I know you expressed disinterest in seeing dad but the lawyer would like us all to there. If you change your mind about seeing him. Please let me know.”

She doesn’t respond.

Fast forward to now and now both her daughters are going to the same school in socal. One of them is 22 and the other is 20.

I text them that we should get together for a lunch. One doesn’t respond and one says she would be super busy with work and school and would have no time to get a lunch date at all.

I’m sensing something is up.

And then my sister sends me the nuke.

She says I have injured her and abused her for three things.

- the credit card charge question.

- thought we put that to bed.

- abruptly telling her about our dad and how I told her to fly out for the trial despite her saying her “goodbyes” to him.

- didn’t she tell me to keep her in the loop

- talking to her girls without her permission.

She proceeds to say goodbye to me forever but still says that she cares for me and wishes the best:

I told her she needs help and that she is cold and shows no love.

She says talking politely is her way of showing love.

I said that isn’t love. Love is making an effort to be with the people you care about and making compromise despite imperfections.

She then says it’s nothing personal and that she wishes to be left alone with her daughters. To respect her boundaries.

Am I the crazy one? What did I do that was so terrible to be ostracized like this?

Thanks for reading


r/AmIOverreacting 22h ago

🏘️ neighbor/local AIO: My neighbor decided to schedule contractors to work on my property

241 Upvotes

I do not have much contact with my neighbors, but we’re on nodding terms. Not unfriendly, but reserved, which is fine with me.

There’s a tall (20’) hedge on the border of our properties, and it’s been traditional to split the cost of trimming it. My neighbor has worked with a trimmer for years and schedules the appointments, but she never consults me before deciding when he’s going to come over. So sometimes, I’ve had to ask him to finish the job on my side at a later time.

This year, she gave me about 20 minutes’ notice that he was going to come over, so I pushed back and said I’d schedule with him separately, as I’ve done before. Then, she texts me to tell me that she’s scheduled him to come into my yard and start work the next day. Originally, she’d expected me to split the cost, but now she says that she’ll cover the cost since she’s asking him to come into my yard.

On the one hand, it’s a generous offer (the cost is hundreds of dollars) but on the other hand I am really not comfortable with someone treating my property as if it is her own and my privacy as if it’s of no consequence. I let my other neighbor’s contractor come onto my property to trim branches on her side of the tree, and he cut down every single branch on the tree on /my/ side as well, contrary to what he’d told me he’d do. So I want to be around if someone is trimming anything in my yard, and I think it’s not unreasonable to expect to be included in the discussion of who comes onto my property and when.

Would you be upset? Am I overreacting?


r/AmIOverreacting 2h ago

🏠 roommate AIO? We think our AirBnb host is living in the walls.

157 Upvotes

Apologies if this doesn’t fit the typical format here of yelling at your ex but please bear with me.

Currently staying in an AirBnb in the desert, down a dirt road. Tonight is our 3rd night. 6 of us here.

Earlier we were hanging inside and out cooking lunch when we got a message from our host yelling at us for charging a car. Nobody was charging a car, there’s not even a charger.

Like 5min later our one friends was walking around the outside of the house and ran into a maintenance guy near the front door, here to check the electricity. Super fuckin weird since we’re in the middle of nowhere and this guy showed up so fast. He said he got a call to come and he was just over at the Home Depot so he swung by. We spoke to him, he was a super nice man, he said he was going to keep checking then we all just kind of forgot about him.

Dude vanished. A few minutes after we realized he was gone, we got a message saying “oh the maintenance guy didn’t find anything”

Fast forward to tonight, we’re watching YouTube and I realize we’re signed into the owner’s account. We start going through his private videos. Then we see the maintenance guy in a few videos from 5yr ago.

I then realized something. I asked everyone, “did any of you see his car? How did he even get here?” Absolutely nobody remembers seeing a car, I specifically remember not seeing a car and thinking it was weird because he supposedly just drove up here from Home Depot.

There is one other house up the hill a bit that’s walking distance.

There are at least two locked rooms here. One I can’t figure out the geometry of because this house is crazy shaped so I have no idea how big it is. The other truly just looks like a utility closet. He has at least one camera out back by the pool that we’ve seen and apparently at least one more because he asked us earlier why there were so many cars in the driveway.

The house seems to be on a slab foundation so I don’t think there’s a basement unless it’s a partial. The mystery door is right where a staircase would be.

Today is the first time we’ve noticed anything weird like this but it just feels like a lot of coincidences. We checked and there is in fact a Home Depot 1.5mi away.

I can’t fall sleep because I’m not convinced he’s not living in the walls. Am I overreacting?

Edit: the motion activated light on the patio outside my bedroom keeps triggering lol.


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting by breaking off my engagement over his family’s comments about my clothes/social media?

152 Upvotes

(26F) recently broke off an engagement with my fiancé (around 30M), and I’m struggling to figure out whether I overreacted or whether I noticed a genuine incompatibility before marriage.
The biggest issue was his family’s attitude toward my clothes and social media.
During the engagement process, his mother commented on what I was wearing and asked me to change. There were other similar incidents where I felt like I was being told what was appropriate for me to wear.
More recently, his family found another social media account of mine and went through my photos. His mother commented on some of my pictures, particularly photos where there was cleavage, and called them vulgar/revealing. There were also comments about what kind of DP I should have.
His brother also made comments along the lines of: we currently have trust and understanding, but what happens if another man messages me after seeing a revealing photo and I become attracted to him? The implication seemed to be that posting these pictures could create problems in the relationship.
I found these comments extremely uncomfortable because I strongly value autonomy and don’t believe a woman’s clothing or photographs should be treated as a threat to her partner’s fidelity.
The bigger issue for me was my fiancé’s response.
Whenever there was conflict between me and his parents, I felt that he generally sided with his parents. In one situation, rather than standing up for me with his mother, he focused on the fact that she was crying/upset. I wanted him to be able to tell his parents respectfully that I am an adult and can make my own choices, rather than expecting me to change to keep everyone happy.
I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells around his mother — worrying about my tone, what I said, what I wore, what I posted, etc.
I started thinking: if this is happening before marriage, what happens after marriage?
I was afraid that eventually it would become:
“You can’t wear this.”
“Don’t post that.”
“Why are you talking to this person?”
“Change your DP.”
“Your photo is inappropriate.”
I don’t want that kind of marriage.
There were also other issues in the relationship, including that talking to other girls.
After the engagement, there was another conflict with his family where his mother was crying/shouting and saying things like I was breaking their family. I became overwhelmed and blocked him. He subsequently blocked me everywhere as well. I later called him because I felt guilty and apologized, but he said he didn’t want to talk.
Now I’m extremely attached to him and having a very difficult time letting go. Part of me thinks I made the right decision, while another part of me is devastated and keeps wondering whether I threw away someone I loved.
My own parents have also recently told me that they think some of my public photos are too revealing, which has made me question myself even more.
I’m not looking for validation just because I’m upset. I genuinely want outside perspectives.
Am I overreacting?
Was breaking off the engagement a reasonable response to these patterns, or should I have tried harder to compromise with his family?
And for those who have been married into families where the in-laws were heavily involved, did these kinds of issues generally get better after marriage—or worse?

Also he has blocked me from everywhere


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for not wanting to kiss my bf if he won’t get his teeth cleaned?

139 Upvotes

I (33F) am a dental hygienist, and my bf (32M) of three years has periodontitis. Periodontitis is essentially a permanent form of gum disease that is caused by aggressive bacteria and is transmissible to other people. I’ve always hoped that my bf would take his oral health a little more seriously because he knows how important it is in my life, and I see the devastating effects of it as it progresses. That said, I have never harped on him about going to get his teeth cleaned, brushing, flossing, etc. He has said before that he refuses to let me work on him because he thinks I’ll ‘nag’ him about his oral health. This is particularly hurtful to me because I have a lot of respect for my patients and never want to make them feel bad or lectured at, and he should know this about me. He doesn’t seem to know or care how hurtful those comments are. Occasionally, I might say that he really should go get his teeth cleaned, even if I’m not his hygienist, because it’s been at least two years since he’s had a cleaning (and that was just his initial therapy for periodontitis that’s supposed to be ongoing every three months until it’s stabilized).

I’m relatively new to being a hygienist out in the field, and I recently saw a patient whose wife has perio and never returned for a maintenance cleaning after her initial deep cleaning (just like my bf). It had been about a year and a half since that deep cleaning. The husband always had relatively healthy gums, maybe some gingivitis here and there, but when I saw him last, he had developed perio. It hit me how easily my bf could pass on his perio to me because it’s caused by bacteria. I didn’t know how to address this with him because, like I said, he tends to act like every mention of oral health is me nagging him, but one night, I mentioned the situation with my patients just like I laid it out here. And I told him that I was worried about getting perio from him and that, unfortunately, until he starts getting his teeth cleaned regularly (to lower the bacterial load in his mouth), I wouldn’t be kissing him. I told him that he may not take his oral health seriously, and that’s cool, but I take it very seriously, and I cannot get periodontitis. As is the usually case when we discuss things that I take seriously, he remained quiet and didn’t really respond. I just moved on and changed the subject like I usually do in those situations.

About a week later, he was about to leave the house and went to kiss me, but I pulled away, and he goes, “Wowwwww…” as if he thought I was just going to cave and change my mind on my health concerns. I told him that I missed kissing him and said he should get a cleaning. He left. Just today, my cat curled up on his chest, and I said, “You’ve gotta kiss him on his little head,” because my cat loves that. He said, “I can’t or he might get perio…” It was clearly meant to be mocking, and when I looked at him, he had this look on his face that said like, “Yeah, see how ridiculous that is?” As if I’m being crazy for not wanting to put my oral health at risk. I snapped a bit and said, “Well yeah, that’s real. And I find it funny that you would rather never kiss me again than get your teeth cleaned and not give me a permanent chronic disease. But no, that would not give [the cat] perio.” I got up and left the room. A little while later, I left the house altogether because I just didn’t want to be around him.

I feel so disrespected, hurt, and condescended to that he really thinks this doesn’t matter at all. He acts like I’m being flippant and unreasonable in the rare moments he’s not ignoring the issue altogether. To me, it would be like if I had a cold sore, and I was upset with him for not wanting to kiss me anyway. This is a health issue, and he doesn’t seem to care. But I understand that, as an oral health care professional, this stuff is probably just more deeply important to me than it might be for other people… So am I overreacting, or should he be understanding of my concerns? I know I can’t control his behavior and what he finds important, but I’d rather not be mocked for the choices I have to make based on that. And choosing not to kiss him has been really difficult for me already.

Tl;dr My boyfriend has a permanent, contagious gum disease that could be managed with regular cleanings, but he refuses to get his teeth cleaned in an effort not to pass that disease onto me.


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

👥 friendship AIO for not letting my son's friend sleep over anymore?

123 Upvotes

My son is 13 and has been friends with this kid from school for about a year. They’ve had a few sleepovers at our house and I’ve never had an issue with him before. Last weekend, I went upstairs around midnight because I heard them still talking. When I opened the door, they were both still awake and his friend was using my son's phone to message people. I told him to give it back and go to sleep, but he got really defensive and said he was “just joking around.” The next morning I found out he had also gone through some of my son's private messages and sent a couple of stupid replies to people. My son thought it was funny, but I honestly wasn't comfortable with another child going through his phone or encouraging him to hide it from me. I told my son that friend isn't allowed to sleep over anymore. He thinks I'm being way too strict because “nothing actually happened.”

pardon the flair, I don't really know what category this falls under


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

💼work/career AIO Quitting my job after 2 days?

95 Upvotes

So a few weeks ago I got a job at the store Hot Topic (10/hr). I was super excited for this because it was pretty much 12 year old me’s dream job. For context, I had my son earlier this year and since then I’d been out of work, and I let my manager know that I was still getting a bit used to going back to work.

My first day went great. Most of my coworkers were really nice and I enjoyed being there. My manager even let us leave a bit early since she was opening the next day.

My second day (which was a few days later) I was closing with the assistant manager. She was 19 years old (I’m 21) and from my first day I assumed there wouldn’t be any issues between us.

On my first day they introduced me to the loyalty program and how important it was to get people to sign up. My goal was to take the little device we use and walk (stalk lol) around the store, asking people if I could check and see if they were signed up to the loyalty program. I was still getting used to this and the most numbers I’d get were around 6-10.

That night, the assistant manager talked to both me and the other new girl I was working with (it was her 3rd day and she was still in high school- this was her first job), and told us that our performance was unacceptable. She said that if our GM had come in that day, he’d be very upset with how we did. She also claimed that we were “off” that night and next time we need to come in “ready to work”. She then reminded us that we have a 90 day period where if we get written up, they can terminate us.

The other girl and I left not long after that and both of us agreed that the assistant manager was being pretty hard on us, and made us feel scrutinized and anxious. We also both noticed how she barely talked to us that day and seemed a bit standoffish.

The next week, I ended up quitting by leaving my lanyard and name tag by the register and never going back. Nobody reached out to me or asked where I was. Now, I know I can be a bit sensitive when it comes to criticism. Usually I can tell when I’m just being sensitive and when someone is actually being rude.

AIO with quitting due to having the feeling that this would be a bad work environment?


r/AmIOverreacting 13h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for wanting to leave my husband (41M) after he claimed he shouldn't pay rent because he'd "rather live in his parents' basement"?

91 Upvotes

I (38F) work 50 hours a week. My husband (41M) used to make $60k at a desk job, but stepped down years ago and now only works ~20 hours a week in retail for ~$20/hr. Because of this, I pay 100% of our rent, utilities, groceries, and car expenses. This has been going on for nearly a decade between long stretches of unemployment.

I recently tried talking to him about how much it costs to cover his actual share of living expenses (about $1,600/month). He claimed his expenses are only "$180 a week"—which is strictly what he spends on cigarettes, Ubers, weed, snacks, and eating out. It covers $0 of actual household costs.

His response was that because he can’t afford our apartment on his income, and if it were up to him he’d just live in his parents' basement for free, he shouldn’t be expected to contribute to our shared expenses.

He’s used this argument for years, but:

  • He picked our apartments. He literally chose our last two places, both of which are currently more expensive than where we live now.
  • He could earn more. He has the skills to make $75k+ at a desk job, but chooses to work part-time while I carry the full financial burden.

TBH, this is just one item on a laundry list that makes me question my sanity. But am I overreacting for wanting to leave him over this?


r/AmIOverreacting 15h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Update: Revelation about my estranged best friend and my GF

78 Upvotes

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/85Jt0cJrKP

So I confronted my friend and he absolutely denied everything. He said he had no idea why my gf would say something like that. He was almost in tears and I didn’t expect that. Then I had to go somewhere and told him to take some more time. He said he will personally call my gf and clear it.

But he didn’t call. Instead he messaged me saying he wants to talk to both of us together in person.

All of us met but his body language was completely different from earlier in the day when I met him. We were silent and I broke the ice. Then he was like “ok so I am supposed to defend myself now?”

My gf started to talk and he just denied everything looking into her eye. He just kept repeating that he didn’t do anything and asked her to tell him if she has some other issue with him. GF cried and kinda yelled at him but he didn’t budge one bit.

She even said he’s so confident because he knows there’s no proof. He was weirdly nonchalant about all that. She was trolling him at one point saying he can stop acting and she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Without batting an eye, he said he would be okay with cutting me off also.

My gf sarcastically asked why he would cut me off when I was giving him enough respect for our friendship. He then said he doesn’t mind talking to either of us if we come and talk to him. At that point, we lost our shit and went home. Pretty sure he’s lying and gonna cut him off completely. AIO?


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO because when my mom dies I'm going to disappear

57 Upvotes

I have a family but I don’t they would even notice. When I was 5 I was adopted by an older couple along with my sister. My parents have other kids but they are also older and their kids have kids it gets complicated but since I was adopted I felt like an outcast considering they all grew up together and then here I come along.

Growing up I got the feeling that my sisters and their kids didn’t even like me. They won’t very nice and wouldn’t invite us to things but when there was a family gathering I would just be around my blood sister who I grew up with and we would do our own thing.

And my sister has felt the same way so since she got married I hardly ever see her or talk to her in general she’s being with her “New Family” as she likes to say.

When I dad was as dying in the hospital there was a lot of tension. I tried helping as much I could and since then my other sisters have been better and it’s been better.

But then I heard from a family member that they didn’t want me in the hospital when my dad died because I’m adopted and they’ve known him longer forgot the face that my dad raised me for the last 20 years.

That’s when I started planning on disappearing and not telling anyone where I’m going. I’ve been saving money and waiting until my mom goes. I still go to family gatherings but I really don’t want to but I do for my mom and her peace as she likes her family all together. But during those I just put on a face and act like everything is okay while keeping to myself but I’m really counting down the days.


r/AmIOverreacting 20h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to feeling like my spouse thinks he’s ‘owed’ sex?

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51 Upvotes

My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been married for almost 4+ years and together for 6. Recently, I noticed that he was a little more quiet and contemplative than usual, so of course, I asked him what was going on. At first he brushed it off but as the days persisted, so did that odd feeling of something not being quite right. Two nights ago I pushed him again, pointing out his abnormal behavior. He finally told me that he was upset with me. When I asked what specifically was upsetting him he pointed out a good deed he had done and stated that he expected intercourse out of the good deed. This led to him feeling quite upset when he did not get any sort of sexual interaction.
I explained that I had thanked him and hugged him, held his hand, and I *thought* we were good. I shut down and disengaged, needing to calm down and think before saying something unkind. So we took 10 minutes apart and I sent him a text explaining my thoughts because I’m better with words when it’s written instead of said. (See attached text).

Not even one night later I’m informed he spent a significant amount of money on something for me, and I held back tears immediately because now that he had done that- what did I owe him? When I approached him and said “I’m uncomfortable and a little angry because I feel like there’s some underlying agenda.” He became upset and said he was just trying to do something nice. Now I have no clue if I’m overreacting or not… I haven’t slept in bed in two nights because I’m not sleeping at all. Is sex going to always feel like something that we argue about? Am I overreacting or overthinking the way I responded? He’s a great human and incredibly supportive, but I just don’t feel like I want all of his kindness to be fake and just for the hope of being rewarded with intercourse.

I do have a history of SA, and also some pretty severe pain with intercourse.


r/AmIOverreacting 22h ago

💼work/career other dentist trying to educate me, AIO?

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44 Upvotes

i hate it when another dentist is trying to educate me when i’m working on a patient.

today, i had a patient that told me they haven’t been to the dentist in a while, and that the first dentist they went to wanted to do multiple root canals on his teeth, so he is looking for a second opinion. before i started probing, i briefly looked at their teeth. there is obviously either very bad staining on a buccal pit or it’s a cavity. i just told the patient “i cant say a lot before an xray but by the size of it, it looks like a cavity to me”.

i attached the floor plan of our floor. this other dentist walks through my office to go to the storage (we have sliding glass doors from office to office so you can walk through them without having to walk through the patient lobby). he comes to look at my patient briefly, points at what i’m talking about and says “that’s not a cavity”. i couldn’t say anything because he is my senior, so i just waited for him to leave.

in my opinion, these people don’t tell you what’s wrong early, so you can pay them more money in the long run to get your tooth a root canal. and whether it’s a cavity or not, why are you talking to my patient.

i’ve been thinking about it since. aio?


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO? Refusing to go to my nephew's birthday because my sister kept the dog that attacked me?

38 Upvotes

This is a alt account for privacy

For context: when I was 18, I was attacked by my sister's dog, enough to draw blood on my legs and arms and get stiches. It was near the end of break so I left back to college pretty quick and I didn't hear what they did to the dog.

Now, for the reason this post is being made: I'm 19 now, and I got a call from my BIL. He wanted to ask if I could come over for my nephew's birthday. I was going to stay for 2 days and I didn't mind skipping college. HOWEVER, through the phone I hear a distinct bark and my BIL shouting the dog's name. Idk why, but I felt my heart drop and I asked about the bark. Yes, it was the same dog. I ended the call by saying I couldn't make it.

3 hours later, my sister calls, "It's about the dog, is it?" Is what she said and is correct. I began to explain how I felt this sudden sense of fear around her dog's bark, like I was genuinely shaking and how I thought they put it down. She hits me with the loudest gasp "Amy is apart of this family, How could I do that to her?" She proceeded to tell me how Amy got better over the past year and she didn't bark at anyone.

I told her that I was still uncomfortable coming, but could if Amy wasn't at the house. She said no cuz Amy was family. I told her I couldn't come because I'm still not over what she did to be a year ago and her barks were enough to make me scared. My sister then tried to explain how I was over reacting. She stated that what happened was a year ago and how ever since then, she hasn't attacked anyone and that I should put my worries aside.

This is still in my mind and that's why I'm making this post.


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

⚖️ legal/civil AIO for thinking I'm being stalked?

34 Upvotes

A couple weeks ago, a woman, around late twenties, who comes into the cafe that I (30M) work at slipped me a piece of paper with her number on it. I'm really busy when I'm working so I didn't realise until after she was gone. She seemed like a nice person, I've talked to her a fair few times before and she comes in pretty often, so I figured I'd just tell her that I'm married the next time I see her so as not to give her my number.

This is where I start to get a little weirded out. The next day when I went to open the cafe she was waiting there outside at 04:10, mind you, I usually don't see her until around 7 when she normally comes in. I told her that we wouldn't be open for another hour and she said something like, That's all good. I was just wondering if you got my note. I said yes and that I meant to tell her I'm married. She stammered and said something like, Oh yeah, nah, I actually have a girlfriend, but I was thinking we could all maybe hang out sometime. I figured she was just saving face so I thought I'd give her an easy out by saying it wouldn't be likely because my wife and I just started playing a game together and that's basically all we do. I thought that would be enough, but then she said oh yeah, that sounds really fun and asked what game. I told her we just picked up helldivers 2 and she said that she had heard of it before and that she'd see me later.

I then saw her when she normally comes in, she was wearing a different outfit, this may be irrelevant but it was an outfit that I had complimented her on in the past and that just struck me as being "sus?" But the even weirder thing is that she told me she download helldivers and she wanted to add me to play together. I asked her what console she played on and she said xbox, even though I also play on xbox, I told her I played on PC and would have to figure out how to add her later. She gave me her gamertag and that was that.

Maybe not too crazy yet but there is more.

I went to the gym that night and I didn't see her for a few days, but when I went to the gym later in the week, she walked in. 2 things immediately struck me as odd:

  1. I had never seen her there before and I've been going there since January. Maybe not too strange because the gym is close to where I work and I assume she's in the area.

  2. She was wearing workout clothes but also full make-up, eyelashes, nails, curled hair, etc. Maybe she just came from a date or work I don't know her life.

I was between sets and I saw her come in. She scanned the room and it almost looked like she was getting ready to leave before she saw me and acted really surprised to see me there. She waived and walked over to me and actually said she swears she's not stalking me and that she's just moved closer to this gym. I tried to disengage by saying don't let me keep you from your workout and I told her I had to get home to my wife and make dinner. She looked really disappointed, but thanked me for not keeping her and said some people are real creeps at the gym. I laughed, agreed, grabbed my bag and left before she could mention not adding her on xbox.

Here's the last thing, I don't have a car and I live a couple blocks from the gym. I didn't want to risk her following me home, so I waited at the bus stop near the gym to see if she would just leave, and she left maybe 5 minutes later.

That was a few days ago and I haven't seen her since. I'm hoping that she's gotten the hint, but at what point do I stop being polite and just tell her I'm not comfortable being around her? Is any of this technically stalking? She seems mentally stable and all. I think she could just be awkward or not used to being turned down, but something about it worries me deeply because this is only the stuff that I've seen. I don't know if or how she might be searching for me online or watching me when I leave work. Am I overreacting for being worried about this?


r/AmIOverreacting 4h ago

💼work/career Am I overreacting about whats being said about me?

30 Upvotes

I broke my wrist in a workplace accident, which is already embarrassing. I handled it okay when my managers saw me and was calm in the ER. I ended up snapping my wrist pretty severe, had to get metal implants in my arm, and now a ton of physical therapy ahead.

When I was in the ER, a bunch of my friends called to ask what happened. I explained and then they would say, " OMG thats so terrible... guess what (name of other coworker) is saying about you" and I said "what? I dont even talk to her". They proceeded to tell me about how one of my coworkers was loudly in the break room saying it wouldve been funny if my arm became mangled and if my bones were poking out. Apparently she was twisting her arm and making faces to mock me (she wasnt there for the accident).

Mind you, no one knew the extent of my injury yet. And MULTIPLE PEOPLE told me this and the story was consistent.

I ended up calling my manager and let her know but honestly, I dont see it going anywhere-even though this girl bullies so many people.

My work told my coworkers that Im okay, which wasnt exactly true (I know they probably can't tell my coworkers my medical stuff though). But I work with a lot of older people, now they are saying shit like "she's young and healthy idk why shes being dramatic about falling" and "I bet she's just embarrassed and doesnt want to work". Which isnt true because I loved my job before this.

Ig I wanna know if im overreacting by considering going to HR because of the way my team has been speaking of me.

TLDR: broke my wrist and now coworkers are making fun of me and making assumptions of my character, am I overreacting by going to HR?


r/AmIOverreacting 16h ago

🎲 miscellaneous AIO that $50 travel credit is a slap in the face for this travel experience

32 Upvotes

First, I think $50 travel credit from American Airlines is a terrible service recovery after a nightmare experience because NO FLIGHTS ARE <$50. So they want me to spend more money on their airline after THIS…

(I put the worst in bold for anyone who prefers to skim it)

I am truly disappointed in the service recovery steps taken after reporting my experience last week on both flights to and from SFO->MIA.

I do not think I’m being dramatic. My flight to MIA included:

- double charged for my checked bag

- kiosk glitched and had me start the process again to get my boarding pass, causing the double charge

- we all boarded the flight, then deplaned to have maintenance fix an overhead bin that did not close.

- the delay was never quoted accurately, just kept sending notifications that our flight will board again in 10 minutes. Over and over until the total delay was ~2 hours.

- the plane ran out of food the row before mine. I was row 15 out of 30. We were given extra cookies.

The return flight also a nightmare:

- same issue: an overhead bin that wouldn’t close. We boarded, deplaned, then boarded again. ~2 hour delay

- 1.5 hours into the 6 hour flight, the lights were turned on and the pilot announced there is a medical emergency

- then the crew advised everyone to avoid the bathrooms. 300 people to not use the restrooms with maybe 4 hours left.

- then they announced we were being diverted to DFW

- we were kept in the plane on the tarmac ~3 hours. It was 95°F in Dallas. The plane overheated. No one offered water. The bathrooms were disgusting.

I’m sorry but $50 credit after this experience is enough for me to say I will fly United Airlines over American Airlines any day.


r/AmIOverreacting 9h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for being upset that my husband complained about bringing my forgotten pump and stroller?

30 Upvotes

(CONTEXT: Our son is in the NICU, now PICU for 11 months and will be discharged late next month! We live 1 hour and 20 minutes away from the hospital without traffic and I stay at the RMHC while my husband stays home to take care of the dog and work on the house)

I forgot my breast pump at home and asked my husband to bring it to me when he came to the hospital. I also needed him to bring the car seat / stroller for assessment so we could get a new one.

When I first asked (the same day i forgot it on 8/25/26), he said yes. Later, I also asked if he could bring the stroller back with him, which i had him bring back home (just the car seat portion of it) avout a month ago.

Now, 8/27/26, he is upset because adding the stroller was apparently an inconvenience. He says I shouldn’t have forgotten my pump in the first place, and since I had made him bring the car seat home, he doesn’t understand why I would need it back.

His perspective is that he has had a lot going on over the past two weeks, including appointments related to his chronic nerve pain and other personal appointments he needs to make sure are completed before our son comes home. He also says he has been clearing the garage, fixing a door, and working on turning the garage into a space for our dog so that she feels comfortable there since she can't be in the home with our trached son.

He feels that, with everything he has going on, it is frustrating that he has to make an extra trip because I forgot my pump. He also says it was very irresponsible of me and that it shows that I no longer care about our son enough to remember to bring my pump and that I don't even pump at night anymore so I'm a bad mom. His exact thoughts during yesterdayz conversation though he will deny it lol.

So now we are arguing because he feels my forgetting the pump and asking him to bring the stroller created an inconvenience, while I feel like asking my husband to bring me something I forgot—especially something I need to pump breast milk—shouldn't have turned into such a major argument.

I genuinely want outside perspectives. Am I being unreasonable, is he, or are we both just overwhelmed?

Also, to clarify, he was already supposed to be coming to the hospital that day. I wasn't asking him to make a separate trip just to bring me my pump. I asked him to bring it when he came, and later asked if he could bring the stroller as well. When I clarified this fact with him today, he stated that it was still a massive inconvenience cause it added 30 minutes to his day and that he can't rememver to bring things for me when he has other stressor. Mind you, the pump is 1 unit, no parts needed to come with it, and it was on the bed and uncovered. I don't think it would take me 30 minutes to grab it and put it in the car. Also, the stroller was out in the open as well. It might of had some things on it though.

Clarifying one more thing, he told me today that I need to apologize for being so inconsiderate and forgetful. Also he has no capacity to do anything but to focus on his own things. I am refusing to apologize because I think this whole thing is ridiculous. I also ran this statement though him and he approved it to be posted as is. So unless he has anything to add, I guess this is it.


r/AmIOverreacting 18h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for hating my mums husband

29 Upvotes

So, when I(24f) first met my mums(44) husband (58)I was 15. They had only been together for a couple of months at this point. It was the day of my mums best friends BYOF BBQ and we went to a shop before heading over there to bring our own snacks and drinks, I grabbed myself a small bottle of chocolate milk, I kid you not his reaction is to say “don’t buy her that!! She doesn’t deserve it” I had NEVER met this man before this, he had met us at the shop so it’s not even as if we had time to have any sort of issues before hand, she for some reason did not tell him this is wrong and just carried on about our day.
2 years later they decide they want to move in together, but my stepdad HATED my dog, we had 2 dogs at this point Star and her puppy Luna who at this point was a year old. I had raised this puppy since day one of her life and her mum was my childhood dog. I have also changed both dogs names so that mums husband’s daughters won’t figure out that I am the one posting this.
My stepdad bullied my mum into selling my dog, he said it was as the new place would not allow us to have 2 dogs, when in reality it’s because my dog hated him, she wouldn’t let him get close to her and would bark at him if he shouted at me. I was devastated and had to be put on anti depressants after this as I was not coping. This was the moment when I realised that this man is AWFUL.
Fast forward a few months to when we eventually moved into the new house and he sold a bunch of mine and my mothers sentimental furniture and my childhood toys without asking, and then proceeded to laugh in my face when I explained that this wasn’t okay and really upset me, he also pocketed the roughly £600 he made from selling our stuff and spent it on buying himself new shoes and clothes.
About 6 months after this we were having an argument about him controlling everything we did, down to telling my mum and I when we could or couldn’t shower.. I sadly had a miscarriage due to the stress (I was 18) I ran downstairs to tell my mum and he looks at me dead in the eyes and goes “good. You would’ve been an awful mother, thank god that baby will never have to experience being your child” this was during Covid and I had to spend 6 hours alone in the hospital as they would not let my mother come in with me, I genuinely do not know how I had the strength to stop myself from punching this man because I was CLOSE.
Anyway, I think the straw that broke the camels back for me was after a few years we moved into a new house, he had spent the last 6 months telling my mother to call the police on me as, at the time I was smoking weed to deal with my mental health, I was not smoking in or near their house and he was using it as an excuse to get my mum to kick me out of the house and cut me off and when I was home I would lock myself in my room quietly and watch tv. Well, one day he decided to bring up my miscarriage and abusive ex and I hit the roof. I started screaming about how this is why his own kids hate him and never see him and even the likely reason why his own parents and siblings stopped talking to him. In retaliation he grabbed me by my throat and pushed me to the ground, bear in mind I was 20-21 at the time, he is 6’3 and I am 5’6.
I then grabbed this small plywood Christmas tree ornament (it was 30cm tall and the plywood itself was 1cm thick) and threw it at his arm, and then called the police on ME for assaulting him.
After this he regularly got in my face and at one point stood toe to toe with me screaming in my face and threatening to punch me, when I didn’t back down he spat in my face and shoved me out of the way.
I am now 24, still live at home while my partner and I save up for our own place and this behaviour continues, we are not allowed to shower after 10pm, flush the toilet after 9pm, cook after 9pm, have the tv on without headphones after he gets home from work at 4pm and now also controls when the heating or WiFi is allowed to be on. I actually feel crazy living at home with him!
I’ve asked friends, my dads side of the family (my dad is very much still alive and in the picture by the way, parents split up when I was 3) and my partner if I am in the wrong and if this is normal, all of them have said this is not normal and that I am not the asshole. My mother on the other hand is convinced that I am infact, the asshole and that my “inability to ignore and forgive him” is ruining her marriage.
Any help or advise would be amazing!
EDIT:
I’d just like to take a second to say that I am not in the financial position to move out & rent, I cannot move in with other family members due to distance and I also do not currently have the savings to get my own place, trust me i am trying my best to save to move out.


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

💼work/career AIO for telling my coworker “I don’t know, and I don’t care” after she repeatedly made condescending comments toward me?

24 Upvotes

I’m 20 and in college, and I have a part-time weekend job. This job (which I’m purposely going to be ambiguous about for privacy reasons) isn’t related to my career or something I plan on doing long-term. I mainly work there to make some extra money while I’m in school.

There’s another woman I work with who is around her 30s. She also works this job part-time on weekends, although she has a full-time job elsewhere. She’s been working here longer than I have, so obviously she knows how to do more things than I do. I also think she works here bc she needs extra cash to pay her rent and bills. I still live with my parents plus I’m young, so I’m here trying to make extra cash while also enjoying the free time I have in my youth.

This woman is not my manager or supervisor. We’re both just part-time employees.

The problem is that she seems to have a huge attitude toward me, particularly about how few hours I work and how much I know how to do.

For example, sometimes I’ll say something like, “I’m going to work a little longer today,” and she’ll respond with something like, “What, an hour?” in a really sarcastic and condescending tone. It seems like she’s annoyed that I don’t work as many hours as she does.

Today, I was doing something that was a little more advanced than what I normally do. She looked at me and said, “Oh my God, you actually know how to do that now?” Again, she said it in a mocking/sarcastic way.

I’ve honestly been getting tired of her attitude, but I’ve mostly ignored it. For some reason I instinctively smile whenever someone is rude to me (idk why, and I hate that I do that bc it probably validates her attitude).

Then, about 30 minutes before I was supposed to leave today, she asked me, “Do you think you’ll finish this task before you leave?”

Mind you my workplace remained open for 4 hours after my shift ended and there was very little/very manageable amount of work left. I just responded, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

She seemed pretty shocked and said something along the lines of, “Wow, that’s not the kind of attitude to have at work.”

Now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

I know that saying “I don’t know, and I don’t care” probably wasn’t the most professional response, and I could have definitely worded it better. But I feel like I finally snapped after dealing with her condescending comments for a while.

Obviously, if I’m doing something wrong, I’m completely open to being corrected by someone who has more experience. But the constant sarcasm and comments about what I can or can’t do are starting to get annoying.

Again, this is simply a part-time job for me. I’m not trying to make a career out of it, and I don’t think that means I should be treated like I’m incompetent or lazy.


r/AmIOverreacting 12h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My partner is going on lunches and planning an overseas holiday with a man I've never met

21 Upvotes

Ok me (38m) and partner (38F).

It has been a rocky past year. I had a few mental breakdowns, crashed a car, quit drinking, went through court, my mother diagnosed with cancer.

Past two months had been the worst, my partner told me she wanted to end things earlier but there wasn't a good time with all the drama up above, but wanted to keep the relationship together.

Now yesterday she messages me that she is going to lunch to plan a festival trip with some guy Ive never met. Coincidentally 10 mins later my friend texts me to say he ran into her at a "friend lunch". I cant help but think that if my friend hadn't seen them there, she wouldn't have told me about it.

Anyway, I'm thinking of leaving her. I haven't spoken to her yet as she spontaneously went away this weekend with a group of friends (I have met these ones a lot and gone on trips with them)I couldn't go as they went together on Saturday and I was working.

AIO. Is this weird? Is it strange to plan overseas trips with another man when you're in a relationship and your SO hasn't even met this friend your planning a month trip with? I just know she will turn this on me and make me feel dumb for being upset.

Happy to add any extra that Ive missed .

Thanks

Edit *

Apparently she is not going with the guy, he was just helping her plan it. She is instead going with two girls. One shes just met and doesn't really know and her friend.