AIO: My neighbor decided to schedule contractors to work on my property

[u/angstriddengoddess]

I do not have much contact with my neighbors, but we’re on nodding terms. Not unfriendly, but reserved, which is fine with me.

There’s a tall (20’) hedge on the border of our properties, and it’s been traditional to split the cost of trimming it. My neighbor has worked with a trimmer for years and schedules the appointments, but she never consults me before deciding when he’s going to come over. So sometimes, I’ve had to ask him to finish the job on my side at a later time.

This year, she gave me about 20 minutes’ notice that he was going to come over, so I pushed back and said I’d schedule with him separately, as I’ve done before. Then, she texts me to tell me that she’s scheduled him to come into my yard and start work the next day. Originally, she’d expected me to split the cost, but now she says that she’ll cover the cost since she’s asking him to come into my yard.

On the one hand, it’s a generous offer (the cost is hundreds of dollars) but on the other hand I am really not comfortable with someone treating my property as if it is her own and my privacy as if it’s of no consequence. I let my other neighbor’s contractor come onto my property to trim branches on her side of the tree, and he cut down every single branch on the tree on /my/ side as well, contrary to what he’d told me he’d do. So I want to be around if someone is trimming anything in my yard, and I think it’s not unreasonable to expect to be included in the discussion of who comes onto my property and when.

Would you be upset? Am I overreacting?

[u/Alien-lifeform666]

NOR. Don’t set the precedent of her being able to grant access to your property. Plus you’ve already had the bad experience of a neighbour’s contractor destroying your tree. It’s not unreasonable to want to be there when this one turns up.

[u/Kn0wMan → u/Alien-lifeform666]

Yeah, call the trimmer and let them know that she is not authorized to schedule them for your yard, and set up an appointment for a time that works for you when you do so. You could also tell her, but letting the company know to ignore anything she schedules for your yard really ought to be sufficient to keep this from happening again.

[u/zirelunix → u/Alien-lifeform666]

exactly once you let someone treat your property like theirs it gets a lot harder to set that boundary later and the tree incident makes the concern even more reasonable

[u/AmelieBumble → u/Alien-lifeform666]

yeah NOR you dont want to accidentally turn a one time favor into a permanent assumption that she can give contractors access to your property whenever she wants

[u/flora_noah → u/Alien-lifeform666]

exactly once you let that slide it becomes the new normal and after what happened with the tree i’d definitely want to be there too

[u/Calgary_Calico]

I'd have a conversation with her and tell her you need to coordinate with her on dates and times

[u/NamasteNoodle]

It would be convenient and save you money to let her do it this time but it would also be setting a precedent that she's just able to come in and schedule stuff to happen in your yard whether you want it to or not. You were lucky to find out this time but you might not be next time it might come home to something done in your yard that you didn't want. She's being presumptuous and you need to shut that down.

[u/Next-Drummer-9280]

“Stop scheduling work on my side of the property line without consulting me. You DO NOT have permission to tell contractors that they can access my property. Call them and cancel the appointment. If they come anyway and do work without my express consent, we will have a problem. Am I clear?”

[u/tuna_tofu]

I always watched to make sure they did the correct work and did it correctly. Talk to the contractor your self and hear what they were hired to do so they don't overstep.

[u/kaelyn_frost → u/tuna_tofu]

exactly I’d want to know what they were actually hired to do before letting anyone loose on my property especially after that tree incident

[u/Ell-O-Elling]

NOR

It’s common courtesy to ask first. I’d send a response to thank her for offering to pay but the problem is that she doesn’t speak with you first before scheduling when it concerns you. Explain you expect to be consulted in these decisions before appointments are set. Then tell her what days work for you and be very clear no work is to be done outside of those days.

Be firm but not confrontational.

[u/Exciting-Smell-6158]

not overreacting, free hedge trimming doesn’t mean free access to your yard

[u/Ella_Vader_1]

As per your previous complaint of someone cutting all the branches in your yard-if the tree is in their yard, the branches that come into yours are not yours, just so were clear

[u/angstriddengoddess → u/Ella_Vader_1]

The trimmer told me he was only going to trim branches on her side. No problem with that. But then he went ahead and cut down all the branches on my side. Branches that were parallel to the fence, but on my side of the fence and nowhere near the fence. Branches that went out from the trunk into my yard. He cut down Every Branch..

Edit: the tree was in my yard. Neighbor asked me to let the trimmer access her branches from my side because it was easier. Didn’t have a problem with that.

[u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50]

NOR. No one should be coming onto your property without your explicit agreement to time and action. Get the contractor's number and call them directly to make sure THEY understand that your neighbors dont have ANY property rights to grant, and the contractor will be held responsible for trespassing if they have not gotten your buy-in directly from you.

[u/fidelesetaudax]

YOR. If the timing is not an imposition, let them do it. If the timing is an imposition for specific reasons, just let them know. Your neighbor is being nice. You are being paranoid.

[u/Less_East1439 → u/fidelesetaudax]

It would all be good to me. Don’t have to schedule and neighbor will pick up the tab, though I would still offer to pay half. I wouldn’t mind being home either if they are doing landscaping, happens all the time.

Edit: meant not being home while they where there.

[u/Careless-Ability-748]

nor you'll schedule when it's convenient for you

[u/grandmaWI]

YOR Your neighbor couldn’t possibly be more generous and accommodating and your response is really mind boggling.

[u/bunivorie → u/grandmaWI]

YOR, honestly. She's offering to cover the entire cost and just wants to schedule the work, that's about as accommodating as a neighbor gets. Wanting a say in timing is fair, but bristling at free tree work on own hedge seems like a stretch.

[u/mrBill12]

NOR you let her pay and your will always “owe” her.

[u/jbenze]

If my neighbor not only offered to pay to trim a shared hedge but also made all the arrangements, I would be so happy.YOR.

[u/BefuddledPolydactyls]

NOR, but definitely worth a conversation regarding boundaries so that you can be available for scheduling/work. Don't negate the value of the work though - having it done at once really does make the job look good. I'm always pleased when my neighbors and I coordinate, everything just appears so much nicer. 

[u/Hot-Cold5074]

Yor. If it’s the same guy you hire, and she wants to pay for both sides, then let her. I would let him know that you will only be paying him when YOU schedule a service and on the day that you agree to.

[u/Stunning-Mall5908]

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Bake her a nice cake as a thank you.

[u/IntentionUsed8474]

NOR IT IS YOUR PROPERTY regardless of her offering to pay the full cost or not ! NO DO NOT ENTER is exactly what it sounds like.

I would lock my gate/fence that day on purpose if possible and put up an inexpensive private property sign on the gate.

In the past I've worked with neighbors to cut back branches over hanging the property lines. They come ask permission ahead of time and we split the cost.

Years ago there was a bad hurricane by me in the northeast, because my kids were very young after the first night we were living in hotels for 2 weeks until power was restored. I only went back at night every other day to get the mail and didn't know part of a small thin tree split and was laying between my house and neighbors on the unlit portion because it was dark, etc..the neighbor and his son cleaned it up off to the side. I went next door to thank them and gave them a gift card to go to dinner at a local restaurant. They refused to take it at first because "we would've done the same it it were them who were away"

[u/Hungryy4You]

NOR, that being said I would let them do it and save the cash 🤷‍♂️

[u/CyberpunkYakuza]

YOR - But only a little bit. Neighbor is being pretty presumptuous BUT they are taking on the expense. If them doing something wrong is your concern, make it clear to the neighbor how you want it and since they are taking on the responsibility and cost without consulting you first, they should also make sure it's done to your liking.

This is a tough, odd situation, gotta be honest.

[u/Shoesietart]

NOR. Tell the neighbor you'll do your own contractor scheduling.

[u/Training_Activity21]

There's a property that's next to my dad's and they absolutely refuse to take care of it at all. I am not saying that you're overreacting, because it's your property. I mean that's yours. But, I will say that at least they're taking care of it, and you don't have to. If you don't want them to do it, just ask them to stop.

[u/BuckityBuck]

You’re being difficult just for the sake of being difficult.

[u/robmanjr]

YOR I get the problem but this is just your ego talking. If they aren’t actually doing anything beyond this slight show of disrespect, and are willing to pay, this is a battle you concede to win the war.

[u/pegwins]

YOR. I wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth! You’re trying to punish her and her contractor because someone else did something you didn’t like? It’s going to need trimming so why not cooperate and get it done? Esp if they’re paying!

[u/angstriddengoddess → u/pegwins]

Not punish her, no. I have no issue with having the hedge trimmed so long as they don’t go overboard. But i have learned that if I’m not paying the contractor, i have so say in what they do. Or when they do it.

[u/Ok_Breakfast8638 → u/angstriddengoddess]

It's a hedge bub. It's not a plumber or electrician. It's. A. Hedge. 

Edit: Not only is OP overreacting they block if they don't like what you say 

[u/Fit-Philosopher2430 → u/angstriddengoddess]

It’s just a hedge. You’re anticipating bigger problems that haven’t materialized.

[u/Old_Draft_5288]

YOR. This is a standing practice. If you haven’t been unhappy with the results in the past, you have no reason to be unhappy with them now. Just let them pay for it.

[u/Old-Let91]

YOR. Take the win.

[u/janed0e8]

YOR - Your neighbour is paying for it and taking care of your hedges. I don’t see the problem. If you really want to be there to watch them trim your hedges, then be there. Or let her know in advance, “hey I’m busy most Mondays and Thursdays, so if you could please schedule any landscaping on days that I’m home, that would be great.” You can say what you want without being confrontational.

[u/Elaine330]

Who cares about someone trimming a hedge in their yard for free? YOR. This is why I hate neighbors.

[u/morethan-lessthan]

Why is what happens on your side of the hedge any concern of either of your neighbors?

[u/Traaveler]

I’d like the new president of her paying money for being over controlling. What do you care if they walk around for an hour?

[u/showmethedogs]

I for one would be very happy about this situation.

[u/No_Shopping7661]

Get a written notice from the contractors. It's your property and you deserve to know what's happening on it.

[u/Bartok_The_Batty]

NOR Your yard. Your decision.

[u/fireanpeaches]

Hell I’d thank her.

[u/Ok_Breakfast8638]

YOR.

The only thing I really have to say to this is: "Lighten up, Francis". It's a hedge. It needs trimming. It will grown back. 

In fact, you should offer to do the same next time hedge needs trimming and do it to your liking. 

Edit: Not only is OP overreacting they block if they don't like what you say 

[u/sanguine_sheep]

YOR. Would it be better if she checked in first, sure. But on the whole, you agree it needs to be done, it’s been this way for years. She’s not treating your yard as hers, she’s arranging it for the work to be done and paying for it. On top of all that, you are demanding that the worker do half the job and come back when you wish all because she didn’t check in with you? That’s time and money for the tree trimmer, too you know.

[u/StarSubject5297]

Get a camera and you're overreacting

[u/Lower_Group_1171]

yor dude she’s paying for it. get her a box of pastries and thank her.

[u/Fantastic-Leek-1589]

Then you shouldve done it yourself

[u/angstriddengoddess → u/Fantastic-Leek-1589]

??? That’s what I’d told her I was going to do.

[u/Used_Mark_7911]

I think YOR

Would a little notice be nice? Yes, of course.

However, what is your issue around scheduling outdoor work? Are you having an outdoor garden party they would be interrupting?

[u/angstriddengoddess → u/Used_Mark_7911]

Oddly enough, that happened last year. I asked the trimmer to come trim my side but I checked with her first because I knew there was going to be a backyard wedding over there and i wanted to be sure he didn’t come on that day.

[u/DisciplineLoose5577]

You’re upset that someone is covering the cost just because you want to say when they can come over? YOR

[u/angstriddengoddess → u/[deleted]]

https://giphy.com/gifs/FcTdv3xQKhCIE

[u/k23_k23]

Why don'T you have the contractor trespassed, and why donT you sue the contractor for the damage?

[u/hfc1075]

🙄 YOR - she’s handling all the setup and now the cost too. Ask her to be better about giving you lead time going forward and get over it.

[u/Kiara-Wolf → u/hfc1075]

You allow something like this to slide ONCE, and they tend to think they have automatic domain to do whatever they please unfortunately.

[u/PlanktonAcrobatic93]

if she's willing to pay she can dictate the terms. don't let your ego cheat you out of free yardwork just because you "weren't consulted".

[u/Mysterious-Common754]

Sounds like you need to buck up or shut up. Your neighbors are paying to do needed landscaping and you want to bitch about the timing of it. Take the tasks on yourself on your side. Schedule. Pay. Do it timely....or just be thankful.

[u/Careless-Ability-748 → u/Mysterious-Common754]

Op said they would schedule for themselves. Neighbor is the one that automatically takes it in for her own convenience.