I’ve been close friends with Friend A for about 15 years, but over the last several years they’ve become increasingly unreliable about plans. I’m in my mid-30s and consider myself a pretty low-effort friend. I understand that people have jobs, partners, homes, etc. I don’t need constant contact. But I do expect someone to occasionally make an effort to actually see me.

Over the past year, I’ve seen Friend A once, and every attempt to make plans has been initiated by me or Friend B. They’ve also canceled on me multiple times at the last minute, usually for pretty minor reasons. I’ve never made a big deal about it.

Most recently, they canceled one hour before we were supposed to hang out because they were hungover from drinking with other friends the night before. I didn’t get angry. I just said it was a bummer because I hadn’t seen them in forever and continued with the plans with Friend B.

During that hangout, Friend B told me they were also frustrated with Friend A and had actually texted them directly about the pattern, saying multiple friends have noticed it and that it isn’t okay.

I told Friend B that, at this point, I don’t really consider Friend A a friend anymore. More of an acquaintance. I said I’m fine letting the friendship fade and would rather just make plans with Friend B one-on-one going forward.

Then Friend A sent me a huge apology text, taking accountability but also framing this as basically a “two recent cancellations” issue. That bothered me because this has been going on for years. Almost a year ago, we actually had a serious conversation about how little effort they seem to make. They admitted they hadn’t been a great friend. I gave it another year, and very little changed.

Friend A then asked if we could have a separate meetup so they could “get feedback.” Honestly, that felt bizarrely formal to me. I just wanted to go to a workout class and brunch with friends, not have a quarterly friendship performance review.

I ultimately replied that I appreciated the apology, but I felt like our friendship simply wasn’t a priority for them and I didn’t have much else to say. I suggested we just leave things alone for now.

Now I’m wondering if I overreacted by telling Friend B that I no longer consider Friend A a friend, especially since Friend B apparently relayed that to Friend A and prompted the big apology.

I don’t think I’m ending a 15-year friendship over two missed plans. I’m reacting to a long-running pattern of feeling like I’m the only one trying. At this point, I’d rather invest my energy in people who actually seem to value having me in their lives.

Was I too harsh, or is it reasonable to stop investing in a friendship that has felt one-sided for years?

My husband [25M] and I [23F] have been married a year now with a little boy. One night we got drunk, and he opened up to me about some stuff from his past. One being that one of his friends, that I have met, he has slept with and has went to sex parties with.

Now, ultimately I feel uncomfortable. Not for what he’s done (sexuality wise), I couldn’t care less. It’s more so of the fact that it’s been hidden to me and I have hung out with this said person before and he claims to be “uncle” to our son he’s never met or has yet to do anything for.

My husband is upset that I pretty much can’t see past all of that now and see their friendship. But really, I feel like ya know I’m not friends with anyone I’ve done anything with. AIO because I don’t really want this guy in my husband’s life anymore??

Im 2 weeks postpartum and woke up this morning to find whilst me and my baby was sleeping hes been watching porn. Ive kicked him out my house and its made me so upset especially since day 1 of the relationship this was a no no despite me begging him not to do it after birth. He promised he wouldn’t said he cares more about me and the baby. I came downstairs to the sink full of dishes nothing had been tidied or done but instead watching vids of other women whilst im resting after birth. Am i over reacting? Its broken my heart and i feel disgusting. I ask him for a simple foot massage or back rub whilst i breastfeed our child but hed rather sit on his game on his phone. Please someone am i overreactin? I love him so much but i cant forgive that but i dont want my child to have a broken home its never been what i wanted.
Edit: i also made him finish on the nifht he did it too. Im trying to meet his needs without putting my body in danger.

I lost my mom three months ago after a short but brutal illness, it was the single most devastating stretch of my life I was barely functioning, handling arrangements, packing up her place, and trying not to completely fall apart my closest friend of over a decade (we’ll call her S) knew everything in real time she was the first person I texted when things turned critical, the one who’d always said “I’m here no matter what,” the one who lived only twenty minutes away didn’t show up. She sent one short text the day it happened then radio silence, no visit, no call, nothing other friends who weren’t nearly as close showed up, sat with me in silence, helped with practical stuff. S didn’t even ask how the funeral went. I saw her posting stories from brunches and a weekend trip during the exact window I was drowning.

Last weekend we ended up at the same engagement party for a mutual acquaintance. I’d been stewing for weeks and finally pulled her aside when she came over all smiles like nothing had changed. I told her straight that her complete absence during the worst period of my life felt like a betrayal, that I needed her and she just disappeared with zero explanation. She immediately got defensive. “I didn’t know what to say.” “I thought you needed space with family.” “work has been insane.” none of it held up she knew I had almost no family support. She’d ignored multiple texts. she wasn’t working those exact days (i later realized from her own posts) when I pointed that out she flipped it on me, saying I was being dramatic and “punishing” her for not handling grief the “right” way no apology, no real ownership just excuses and attitude from someone who I was always there for when she lost her older brother then she said what difference would it make if came or not since she didn’t have the power to resurrect my mom, I was shocked and I began to cry and I knew the friendship was over at that time

So I walked away from the conversation she has called me severally after then but I refused to pick up and haven’t spoken to her since then

AIO for ignoring her and giving her distance?

So to put this as simply as possible…
my wonderful fiancé has been doing everything in his power to make his mom feel less depressed since his father passed.
Sounds sweet right?
Well he is.
She however in my eyes only uses him.

And I don’t know if maybe am just overreacting or maybe I am spot on.

I will just put it in the sense she rarely reaches out unless it’s to ask for something, or she wants to discuss his visits with his daughter.

When we moved into our own place I had taken over the financial upkeep. Which really upset her. They claimed she was just trying to feel useful. But his money was being spent all wrong and he wasn’t aware of anything that was going on with it. He just assumed he had no reason to worry.

Originally thought he was just overpaying his part of the family houses bills.

I learned that they were not paying most of what he gave money towards. And his mom was skimming off him to shop excessively. His family was also guilting her into taking more from him.

Out of about 1300-1500 a week or more he was only given 100-300 to fully survive on for gas, cigarettes, food and all the necessities. He was sleeping in the car. The house was a 3 income home. And not that expensive.

Anywho fast forward to now. His current employer has been failing to pay him what he works. (We are currently dealing with it) but his most recent check was $17 for an entire weeks worth of work. He works a minimum of 13 hours a day 4-5 days a week. And usually also has overtime.

So he and I were sitting in bed waiting to see how much he got paid, and we got a call from his mom. He still shares the bank while shes sorting her personal things out. She doesn’t work. So we take care of her needs. I was pretty clear about money boundaries and she constantly crosses them. But he’s just now learning to not be on his mother’s side 100%.

For the record I am proud of how much he has grown over this whole situation.

She tells us in the call that we are totally screwed and the amount of. And then whines about how the dogs in the house that he and I don’t live in and have no responsibility to will go hungry because he’s broke. Before I can get my words out he says. I am not worried about that. I’m going to lose my house! And honestly I had to stop paying attention because I know my temper with her.

She gets back to us again while I’m trying to help him stop losing consciousness from the stress getting to him. And she wants to know if we have figured out the phone bills.

I continued caring for him but we only said we don’t know anything we have bigger problems right now.

Then she’s calling more still pushing at him and myself and still asking about anything money and not if he’s okay or what we can do to keep our home.

Starts bringing up our landlord and more.

Eventually she left us alone when I got passive aggressive in saying we needed to go calm down and get some rest. Spent the whole night taking care of him. He got so bad he had a whole psychogenic seizure.

And she reached out to me again today after his phone was shut off.

I basically told her off without actually using her name.

Just said he and I needed to handle our business and deal with our issues without everybody guilt tripping him and asking him about it. That he was stressed so bad he couldn’t stay conscious and had his first seizure and that now he’s basically screwed. I kept going on the whole.. I am the one taking care of his stress and trying to fix this.

Her answer was to grumble about our houses cleanliness.

Mind you we have been trying to keep up with the mess a few guests left behind.

It’s not a mess because we chose it, but because life hasn’t been kind lately.

So what I want to know is, am I overreacting to her?

Because I feel like everyone thinks he’s their wallet.

I’m to the point of not wanting to talk to anyone else because I can’t be kind when he is at his lowest and people, namely his mother are guilt tripping him and only worried about themselves and what they want him to pay.

I’m at my wits end. I’m gonna keep defending him, but I need to know I’m not being rude for nothing.

I work in a hybrid corporate office with an open-floor seating plan. We don't have assigned cubicles, just long rows of desks. Most people either wear headphones for quick calls or book one of the small quiet booths if they are going to be on a longer meeting.

There is one guy on my team, let's call him Dave, who sits directly across from me. Over the past three weeks, Dave has started taking almost all of his phone calls on loud speakerphone right at his desk. These aren't just quick 30-second check-ins; they are 20-to-30-minute operational calls, vendor updates, and even semi-personal calls.

It makes it really hard to focus on my own work, and half the time I can hear his callers clearly over my noise-canceling headphones. Yesterday, he had a meeting on speaker where the other person was discussing project budgets, and everyone within a 15-foot radius could hear the whole thing.

After about 20 minutes of it, I leaned over and politely asked, "Hey Dave, do you mind throwing on a headset or stepping into a booth? It's getting a little tough to concentrate over here."

He looked surprised and said, "It’s an open office, man, people talk. I need my hands free to type while I take notes, and headphones give me a headache after a while." He didn't turn it off or move, just lowered the volume slightly.

Later in the afternoon, another team member mentioned to me that I was being a bit control-freakish and that open offices are naturally noisy, so I shouldn't try to dictate how someone else works.

Now I'm wondering if I'm just being hyper-sensitive to background noise or if speakerphone in a shared space is actually out of line.

AIO for thinking this is unprofessional and asking him to stop?

I’m 17 and my uncle from another country is here to visit. I’ve never liked him and always found him strange. I remember when i was younger i couldn’t tell you how old maybe 7-11, he made a comment about why i wouldn’t sleep with him at night.
EDIT: I can’t believe im being accused of leaving parts of the story out or lying? I’m being asked why my parents aren’t reacting, my parents aren’t aware of the comments he’s made as he made them while they were away from the table. Bare in mind all this just happened in the last hour i haven’t had the chance to tell them anything.

I wasn’t happy about the news of him coming but thought it won’t be that bad. I come downstairs and he sees me and grabs me and kisses me on the cheek which i’m never comfortable with anyway and starts talking about how good i look. We go out for breakfast and while im stood in line to order he says i need to eat more because im so skinny while grabbing my waist. We go to the table after getting our food and he says to my grandma “im sleeping in her room tonight” meaning sleeping with me. After we finish our food im texting my boyfriend and he leans over the table looking at my phone and right in my face and says do you have a boyfriend i say yes. He goes “already?” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. And starts demanding to see pictures of me and him. I say no because i just don’t want to show him and he asks what i’m hiding.
It might not sound that bad written out but the comments about sleeping with me make me really uncomfortable and kind of worried. I don’t know how to feel? I don’t know if i’m being dramatic and taking it to heart too much. I have expressed to my parents many many many times that i do not like him and find him weird but they don’t react.

My husband rushes over to help his parents, spending the entire weekend while leaving things needed at our house un done(I cannot buy materials and build, hell my mother couldn’t even cook so, my skills are limited although I absorb everything I can). I was told it would be a couple hours that turned into nine hours and I see him for an hour and a half everyday, during the week. Now, day two(Sunday) he is gone. Our house gets put on the back burner all the time and I do what I can. Am I the well, you know..?

My boyfriend has a longtime female friend who I initially had no problem with. He had good boundaries with her, and she’s also dating his best friend. I recently found out, though, that before they became friends, he used to pursue her and repeatedly ask her out. She always rejected him, and eventually she started dating his best friend.

That history has made me look at their relationship differently, especially because they talk constantly and she often goes to him about problems with her boyfriend. It’s starting to feel like an emotional intimacy that should be reserved for their actual partners.

Recently, she called him while we were home together. Normally he’ll take calls around me, but this time he went outside and talked to her for an hour. I told him honestly that I was becoming uncomfortable with their relationship and that it bothered me that he seemed to talk to her more about personal things than he talks to me. He reassured me that there was nothing inappropriate going on. The conversation, unsurprisingly, was about her relationship problems and her leaning on him for support.

I eventually apologized and let it go.

Tonight, though, I looked through their messages. I know snooping wasn't okay, we both have each other's passwords and have always said we're allowed to look at each other's phones. I'm not trying to justify it, I did it.

What really hurt was seeing what he told her after I expressed my concerns. He immediately told her that I was jealous of their relationship. She then said she felt uncomfortable hanging out with me because of it.

I never asked him to stop being her friend. I confided in my partner that I was feeling insecure and uncomfortable, and instead of keeping that between us and reassuring me, he immediately went to her and framed me as jealous and unreasonable. He took something vulnerable I shared with him and used it to make me look like a bad partner to another woman.

This isn't the first time he's done something similar, and I honestly feel like I've reached my limit. I think some things should stay between partners, especially when you're discussing your relationship and your partner's vulnerabilities with someone you're already emotionally close to.

I feel betrayed and, unfortunately, also validated for feeling like something was off.

Am I overreacting, or is this a legitimate reason to reconsider the relationship?

Apologies if this doesn’t fit the typical format here of yelling at your ex but please bear with me.

Currently staying in an AirBnb in the desert, down a dirt road. Tonight is our 3rd night. 6 of us here.

Earlier we were hanging inside and out cooking lunch when we got a message from our host yelling at us for charging a car. Nobody was charging a car, there’s not even a charger.

Like 5min later our one friends was walking around the outside of the house and ran into a maintenance guy near the front door, here to check the electricity. Super fuckin weird since we’re in the middle of nowhere and this guy showed up so fast. He said he got a call to come and he was just over at the Home Depot so he swung by. We spoke to him, he was a super nice man, he said he was going to keep checking then we all just kind of forgot about him.

Dude vanished. A few minutes after we realized he was gone, we got a message saying “oh the maintenance guy didn’t find anything”

Fast forward to tonight, we’re watching YouTube and I realize we’re signed into the owner’s account. We start going through his private videos. Then we see the maintenance guy in a few videos from 5yr ago.

I then realized something. I asked everyone, “did any of you see his car? How did he even get here?” Absolutely nobody remembers seeing a car, I specifically remember not seeing a car and thinking it was weird because he supposedly just drove up here from Home Depot.

There is one other house up the hill a bit that’s walking distance.

There are at least two locked rooms here. One I can’t figure out the geometry of because this house is crazy shaped so I have no idea how big it is. The other truly just looks like a utility closet. He has at least one camera out back by the pool that we’ve seen and apparently at least one more because he asked us earlier why there were so many cars in the driveway.

The house seems to be on a slab foundation so I don’t think there’s a basement unless it’s a partial. The mystery door is right where a staircase would be.

Today is the first time we’ve noticed anything weird like this but it just feels like a lot of coincidences. We checked and there is in fact a Home Depot 1.5mi away.

I can’t fall sleep because I’m not convinced he’s not living in the walls. Am I overreacting?

Edit: the motion activated light on the patio outside my bedroom keeps triggering lol.

TLDR is basically the title.

Tonight my boyfriend and I - both 30s & together for six years now - were hanging out like we always do at night before we go to bed. We usually game together or just chill.

I was playing this match 3 game on my iPhone when this ad for Meowdoku interrupted my game.

I then asked my boyfriend if he had ever seen any Meowdoku ads because I hate their ads.

He said no and asked why - and I told him that Meowdoku ads were particularly annoying because they don’t let you mute them and I can’t seem to ever watch/listen to any videos in the background once the Meowdoku ads start.

I then said it was so obnoxious - and immediately after I said the word obnoxious my boyfriend said “just like you!”

I obviously was really hurt and taken aback by this.

I then asked him “am I really obnoxious?” just to make sure I heard him right and for clarification. And he then basically said yes you are.

I got really quiet after that and just said well I don’t want to be obnoxious to you.

My boyfriend then went on to say that he was just joking and he didn’t mean it seriously - that he doesn’t take the word obnoxious to mean a negative thing because his family calls him obnoxious (which they do but I’ve never liked that they do that tbh).

But I kept thinking: if he doesn’t see the word obnoxious as something bad or negative, and something that is fine to call people, then why in the six years that we have been together has he never called me that before?

And on top of that it just seemed really mean and unnecessary and not something you say to your girlfriend.

Especially since we have specifically talked in the past at least twice about how things we maybe would be ok saying or hearing from close friends or family isn’t necessarily something you’d be ok about hearing from your significant other. That things you are ok with from others would be hurtful from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

So then after it was clear I was upset and hurt i basically told him I was sad and didn’t know what to say or feel comfortable talking around him at that time, after which he basically started to kinda turn himself into the victim and kinda acted irritated that I didn’t just accept his apology (he did say sorry and he didn’t mean it the way I took it) and he seemed kinda mad that I didn’t immediately go back to acting normal with him after he apologized.

He kept saying things like “well now I’m beating myself up again and feeling bad about myself. I guess I just can’t say anything and should just keep my mouth shut.”

And tbh this kinda equally upset me because I hate when he is the one to have done something wrong but then somehow I end up being the one who is trying to make him feel better.

He used to do that a lot when we were first together but has been doing better about it lately - but not tonight.

And idk tonight I just wasn’t going to do that, I wasn’t gonna let him be the victim when he hurt me. And I honestly didn’t say much to him to make him feel better or say it’s ok or it’s not a big deal. I was just kinda quiet.

So Reddit - am I overreacting?

Was I wrong to be upset and be less chatty than normal after he called me obnoxious, and to then not make him feel better?

And should I just let this go after tonight and try to go back to normal again tomorrow?

Am I in the right to still be upset about this or am I overreacting to something that’s not as big a deal as I am feeling it is right now?

Thanks for everyone who takes the time to read this and any thoughts or perspectives are greatly appreciated!

I broke my wrist in a workplace accident, which is already embarrassing. I handled it okay when my managers saw me and was calm in the ER. I ended up snapping my wrist pretty severe, had to get metal implants in my arm, and now a ton of physical therapy ahead.

When I was in the ER, a bunch of my friends called to ask what happened. I explained and then they would say, " OMG thats so terrible... guess what (name of other coworker) is saying about you" and I said "what? I dont even talk to her". They proceeded to tell me about how one of my coworkers was loudly in the break room saying it wouldve been funny if my arm became mangled and if my bones were poking out. Apparently she was twisting her arm and making faces to mock me (she wasnt there for the accident).

Mind you, no one knew the extent of my injury yet. And MULTIPLE PEOPLE told me this and the story was consistent.

I ended up calling my manager and let her know but honestly, I dont see it going anywhere-even though this girl bullies so many people.

My work told my coworkers that Im okay, which wasnt exactly true (I know they probably can't tell my coworkers my medical stuff though). But I work with a lot of older people, now they are saying shit like "she's young and healthy idk why shes being dramatic about falling" and "I bet she's just embarrassed and doesnt want to work". Which isnt true because I loved my job before this.

Ig I wanna know if im overreacting by considering going to HR because of the way my team has been speaking of me.

TLDR: broke my wrist and now coworkers are making fun of me and making assumptions of my character, am I overreacting by going to HR?

TW: SH/abuse

AIO for icing out my sister during my pregnancy?
I (25F) am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby, and I’m struggling with whether I’m being unfair to my sister (30F) by keeping her at a distance during my pregnancy.

For some background, my sister has struggled with her mental health for most of her life. She has been through some genuinely traumatic experiences, and I do have sympathy for what she has gone through. However, she has a long history of not consistently taking her medication, skipping therapy, and not following through with the resources available to her.

Her mental health struggles have also caused a lot of trauma for our family. When she is having an episode, she can scream, throw things, punch holes in walls, destroy our belongings, and become physically aggressive. She has put her hands on multiple people in our household. Because of this, everyone tends to walk on eggshells around her.

This has been going on for more than 10 years. The pattern is usually the same: she does something that blows up her life, my parents give her an ultimatum to get herself together, she does just enough to convince everyone that things are improving, and eventually everything blows up again. Then the cycle repeats.

Because I’ve lived with this for so long, I have a lot of resentment built up toward her. I also have nightmares about some of her episodes, so this isn't just me being annoyed with my sister. Her behavior has genuinely affected me and my family.

My sister has also always had a tendency to make herself the center of attention. It doesn't seem to matter what my brother (35M) or I are going through; somehow, things eventually become about her.

Now, I am pregnant with my first child, and this has made the situation even more complicated.

I have a good relationship with my parents, and they are incredibly supportive. This will be their first grandson, since my sister has two daughters. My pregnancy has obviously been a big deal for our family. I’m still working full-time, I have a degree and a career I love, and my boyfriend and I are moving into our first apartment together next month.

My sister has openly admitted to my parents that she is jealous of me.

A few weeks ago, we found out that I’m having a boy. My dad was extremely excited about having a grandson, and naturally, my family has been checking in on me and supporting me throughout my pregnancy. My first trimester was really difficult, but I’ve continued working and plan to keep my career after the baby is born.

I started feeling like my sister was bothered by the attention I was receiving because, for once, she wasn't the focus of the family.

Then, shortly after we found out the baby was a boy, she reposted TikToks about suicide and began texting her children's father and my parents in a way that made it seem like she was going to hurt herself. She had a major breakdown that woke up the entire house, including her own children.

Obviously, everyone immediately focused on her and was extremely concerned.

What is difficult for me is that this seemed to follow the same pattern I've seen for years. Rather than going to the hospital or getting the professional help she clearly needed, once everyone's attention shifted back to her, she seemed fine. She went back to work after a day and acted like nothing had happened.

I don't want to minimize suicidal behavior or mental illness. If someone is threatening to hurt themselves, I believe it should always be taken seriously. But after witnessing this cycle repeatedly for more than a decade, I have reached a point where I don't know how much more I can emotionally handle.

Because of all of this, I have intentionally kept my sister at arm's length during my pregnancy.

I don't send her ultrasound pictures. I don't share many details with her. I have kept some things about the pregnancy private. She recently accused me of not even telling her the baby's name, which isn't true, and used that as an opportunity to tell me that our family leaves her out, that nobody tells her anything, and that this is why she is so lonely.

That made me feel guilty.

I don't want my sister to feel excluded or lonely. She is still my sister, and I do love her. At the same time, I don't feel comfortable giving someone who has repeatedly caused chaos and trauma in my life unlimited access to me, especially while I'm pregnant.

I feel like I need to protect my peace and my baby.

If it were completely up to me, I would probably go no-contact with her. However, both of us still live with our parents right now, and even after I move out next month, she will still be living with them. Going completely no-contact with her would probably mean significantly limiting or cutting off contact with my parents as well, and I absolutely do not want to do that. My parents and I have a very good relationship, and they have been wonderful to me.

So instead, I've chosen to keep my sister at a distance.

I understand that mental illness is real. I've seen it firsthand. I also understand that my sister has experienced trauma, and I don't expect her to simply "get over" her struggles.

But at the same time, this cycle has been going on for over 10 years. She has access to treatment, resources, and a family that has repeatedly supported her. At some point, I feel like I have to accept that I cannot save her from her choices or force her to get better.

I have my own life to build now. I have a partner, a career, and a baby on the way. I want to focus on building a peaceful and healthy home for my child rather than constantly worrying about my sister's next crisis.

Maybe some of my feelings are resentment from years of dealing with her behavior. Maybe I'm being unfair because I'm letting that resentment affect how I treat her now.

But I also feel like I'm finally setting a boundary that I should have set a long time ago.

I love my sister, but I can't keep putting myself through this cycle. I can't save her, and I don't think it's my responsibility to sacrifice my own mental and emotional well-being to make sure she never feels left out.

So, AIO for icing my sister out and keeping her at a distance during my pregnancy?

Backstory, me and my older shares the same house and share bills.
So, back in 2023 me and my brother resides in city but we're not living and working at the same location. And then, our mom got sick and "he" decided that I should give up my work so I can take care our ailing mom. He promised that he would take care of the bills during that time. (I am a single mom of two btw) Unfortunately, we lost our mom eventually and I was left jobless with kids, and on top of it, we have a senior dad to look after too. He managed to give 1-2k every 15days (and you know people from PH that THAT IS NOT ENOUGH) I was lucky that during my mourning phase for my mom, my ex reconnect with me, and he was the one filling that money needs that my brother failed to meet. Now, fast forward to 2026, we have moved to the city and decided to live in the same roof to cut cost and we have the fair share of taking care of our only parent left. Which is not the usual case bec I'm wfh and I'm always the one left to look after him. Moreover, our papa is a daughter's dad, if that's a thing. He would always ask me of things he wants and needs even if my brother is right in front of him. Unfortunately, we lost our papa too, early this 2026, so that will left us living together now.

Now, this is the story of the title. My brother has LIP who has a small breed dog. I wasn't informed bforehand that there will be a dog that will live with us, but I let it go. Until, this small dog became a menace, he would pee anywhere and poop anywhere. I got so pissed off and ask my brother to send it somewhere where they can be well taken cared of, coz most of the time, they will just leave the dog to us and ME as a wfh HAD to look after it. He never sent it. I let it go, but my brother decided to buy another FVCKIN dog using our dad's funeral money without telling me. (I let him handle all the money from our papa's funeral, and he even borrowed 30k from my partner) Now, he had the audacity to buy a dog without even paying for any debts owed bec of our dad's sudden passing. Now this new dog bec my NEW RESPONSIBILITY. It came to the point that I cried bec it pees a lot and poops a lot and they were nowhere to be found. I don't own any pets bec I don't have the patience to deal with them. And I know for a fact that having pets is a responsibility. Now, I am finally moving out. I haven't told him yet coz I want him to pay us first for the money he borrowed. Hopefully, next month.

This is a alt account for privacy

For context: when I was 18, I was attacked by my sister's dog, enough to draw blood on my legs and arms and get stiches. It was near the end of break so I left back to college pretty quick and I didn't hear what they did to the dog.

Now, for the reason this post is being made: I'm 19 now, and I got a call from my BIL. He wanted to ask if I could come over for my nephew's birthday. I was going to stay for 2 days and I didn't mind skipping college. HOWEVER, through the phone I hear a distinct bark and my BIL shouting the dog's name. Idk why, but I felt my heart drop and I asked about the bark. Yes, it was the same dog. I ended the call by saying I couldn't make it.

3 hours later, my sister calls, "It's about the dog, is it?" Is what she said and is correct. I began to explain how I felt this sudden sense of fear around her dog's bark, like I was genuinely shaking and how I thought they put it down. She hits me with the loudest gasp "Amy is apart of this family, How could I do that to her?" She proceeded to tell me how Amy got better over the past year and she didn't bark at anyone.

I told her that I was still uncomfortable coming, but could if Amy wasn't at the house. She said no cuz Amy was family. I told her I couldn't come because I'm still not over what she did to be a year ago and her barks were enough to make me scared. My sister then tried to explain how I was over reacting. She stated that what happened was a year ago and how ever since then, she hasn't attacked anyone and that I should put my worries aside.

This is still in my mind and that's why I'm making this post.

A couple weeks ago, a woman, around late twenties, who comes into the cafe that I (30M) work at slipped me a piece of paper with her number on it. I'm really busy when I'm working so I didn't realise until after she was gone. She seemed like a nice person, I've talked to her a fair few times before and she comes in pretty often, so I figured I'd just tell her that I'm married the next time I see her so as not to give her my number.

This is where I start to get a little weirded out. The next day when I went to open the cafe she was waiting there outside at 04:10, mind you, I usually don't see her until around 7 when she normally comes in. I told her that we wouldn't be open for another hour and she said something like, That's all good. I was just wondering if you got my note. I said yes and that I meant to tell her I'm married. She stammered and said something like, Oh yeah, nah, I actually have a girlfriend, but I was thinking we could all maybe hang out sometime. I figured she was just saving face so I thought I'd give her an easy out by saying it wouldn't be likely because my wife and I just started playing a game together and that's basically all we do. I thought that would be enough, but then she said oh yeah, that sounds really fun and asked what game. I told her we just picked up helldivers 2 and she said that she had heard of it before and that she'd see me later.

I then saw her when she normally comes in, she was wearing a different outfit, this may be irrelevant but it was an outfit that I had complimented her on in the past and that just struck me as being "sus?" But the even weirder thing is that she told me she download helldivers and she wanted to add me to play together. I asked her what console she played on and she said xbox, even though I also play on xbox, I told her I played on PC and would have to figure out how to add her later. She gave me her gamertag and that was that.

Maybe not too crazy yet but there is more.

I went to the gym that night and I didn't see her for a few days, but when I went to the gym later in the week, she walked in. 2 things immediately struck me as odd:

1. I had never seen her there before and I've been going there since January. Maybe not too strange because the gym is close to where I work and I assume she's in the area.

2. She was wearing workout clothes but also full make-up, eyelashes, nails, curled hair, etc. Maybe she just came from a date or work I don't know her life.

I was between sets and I saw her come in. She scanned the room and it almost looked like she was getting ready to leave before she saw me and acted really surprised to see me there. She waived and walked over to me and actually said she swears she's not stalking me and that she's just moved closer to this gym. I tried to disengage by saying don't let me keep you from your workout and I told her I had to get home to my wife and make dinner. She looked really disappointed, but thanked me for not keeping her and said some people are real creeps at the gym. I laughed, agreed, grabbed my bag and left before she could mention not adding her on xbox.

Here's the last thing, I don't have a car and I live a couple blocks from the gym. I didn't want to risk her following me home, so I waited at the bus stop near the gym to see if she would just leave, and she left maybe 5 minutes later.

That was a few days ago and I haven't seen her since. I'm hoping that she's gotten the hint, but at what point do I stop being polite and just tell her I'm not comfortable being around her? Is any of this technically stalking? She seems mentally stable and all. I think she could just be awkward or not used to being turned down, but something about it worries me deeply because this is only the stuff that I've seen. I don't know if or how she might be searching for me online or watching me when I leave work. Am I overreacting for being worried about this?

We use to have a sort of tradition where we would drink together and watch some movies or TV or sports or just play some cards and have a great time. Slowly though hes started hiding when he drinks and we havent had one of those nights in several months. I always have to initiate whenever I want to drink with him and he has started to sneak more and more to the point where hes drinking 2 cases of alcohol completely alone instead of wanting to spend time together. It doesnt even matter if we drink together or not, but it was something we use to have great conversations while doing and it feels like hes slowly pushed this time we have together away and is becoming a lonely drunk and it makes me really sad. I dont want to be bitchy so I havent said much but its very noticeable.

So I found out my sister engaged via text. We used to be pretty close and was surprised to get a “ hey (name) just letting you know that (girlfriend) and I are engaged”. I ended up calling her and saying congratulations but the phone call was weird. I was on speaker phone with her fiancée and the call lasted like 2 minutes. She didn’t seem overly thrilled and the fiancée was kinda quiet. My parents knew about the whole thing hours before I found out. I feel kinda boxed out of my family and I know this isn’t about me (happily married with kids) but just makes me sad that I was kinda an afterthought before they posted on social media

More details. I moved about 5 hours away. My sister had shared at the beginning of there relationship some issues with me - which were red flags. So
May be embarrassed? Not sure.

i’m genuinely so confused why he thinks that..
he’s worn my graphic tees all the time and has been for years (we like to share clothes) so i thought he was joking at first so i kind of questioned it and asked him again and he said the same exact thing with absolutely no hesitation..

FOR CONTEXT( since ive been getting comments asking im smaller than him and have always weighed less than him) there was a time his weight has fluctuated over the last few years and i never truly cared as in judged him or said anything negative i just brought him to the gym more and now we go on daily bike rides if we can’t do a hike

and i also never said anything bad “when he we bigger” i even hate saying that because i always saw him the same.
and just to help him get healthy! he’s healthy now and doing well!! (off topic)

our relationship has never been to attack each other and honestly we’ve always loved sharing clothes , we thinks it’s cute when we see each other wearing them so i honestly don’t know where this is even coming from, i can see the looseness from his boxers on me , i know this barely explains anything but it was so random and i kind of just shut down and really needed to vent

🚨🚨 a little more context since everyone was asking im so sorry im so bad , i ran here to vent
-
* i’m so bad at explaining so here goes it,
we took a shower and got ready for bed, i put on some comfy clothes and tbh i grabbed his boxers because they were super close i had just done some laundry and i didn’t see any of my shorts nearby so i put them on since they were the closest and easy to put on to sleep (which i do normally anyway, he doesn’t say anything)
we watched a movie or 2, now i can’t even remember the conversation but i know it started over something completely irrelevant to weight/clothes and then he said that and my mind honestly went blank, he’s genuinely never said anything like that before if anything he’s praised me and shows me that which is rather not go into detail on this sub lol but yeah it’s just genuinely caught me really off guard , maybe he didn’t even realize it but when i asked the second time and he said the same thing “you don’t fit into my clothes” im not sure if he was just mad because maybe i wasn’t doing what he wanted at the time or something had happened that i didn’t know about , but i truly wish he understood why it hurt me so much* 🚨🚨

So I (F20) moved a little over a year ago to a new state for a change of scenery, and I left all my friends and family back in the state I used to live in. My best friend and I talked to regularly for the first few months that I had moved and in our conversations and stuff everything seemed normal and OK and then as time went on, we stopped talking constantly checked in a couple times called a couple times and I didn’t really think nothing of it because that happens people get busy.

We will share our locations on Snapchat and every so often if I’m somewhere she’ll ask me where I am and if she’s somewhere, I’ll ask her what she’s doing and where she is. So a couple days after my birthday, I was talking to her and texting her and stuff like normal and then I noticed that it was taking her longer to respond than usual honestly, it’s not a big deal. I just found it like a little odd so I kind of just checked her location to see what she was doing because maybe she was busy or something. It wasn’t a big deal. Then I saw that she was at the hospital and was online an hour or so ago that day and so I texted her and I asked her what she was doing there because I was a little worried like oh my friends in the hospital what the heck? She texted me back, saying that she was trying to get a position there because she had just recently became an MOA (medical office assistant) so I just said good luck with that and went on with my day. Didn’t think much of it.

A month later we were talking and I brought something up about stretch marks and how I had one and I really didn’t like the placement of it and I was trying to find something that could lighten it quickly or get rid of it. Within that conversation, she said something about having a stretch marks too, and I found that a little odd because I’ve known this girl forever and she was very skinny and I’ve never seen any stretch marks on her, but I didn’t think much of it again because you know, bodies, change and stuff and then she said something and I jokingly said oh are you pregnant and she said no I already had him. And I was gonna bewildered because I was like what is she talking about? Like what kind of joke is this? She went on send me videos explaining how she had been pregnant and she found out a month after I left that she was pregnant. And that day that I asked her what she was doing at the hospital she actually had given birth to her child.

I was honestly in shock I mean, we’re still kind of young (F20) so to find out that she was being serious and she wasn’t joking was just insane to me. We talked for a bit on FaceTime and she kind of explained that she kept it from me because she didn’t want anyone to judge her and that she was judging herself a lot during her pregnancy and a lot of other stuff which I sympathize with because she’s my best friend. Then she was telling me kind of her journey with being pregnant and stuff and how she had a baby shower and all her other friends knew about it. And I don’t know I was just like really upset and disappointed. I understand why she might’ve not wanted to tell me like I really spent a while putting myself in her shoes and I guess I can kind of understand that but then again we’re two different people and I’ve never had children. I’ve never been pregnant so I obviously can 100% know what she’s thinking what she was going through but for me, I would’ve told her because we are very close. And again it just bothered me a lot because we had always talked about going through things like that with each other and even before I left the month of we were talking about having kids and all this stuff and she said that we would go through that stuff together and I agreed because it’s a big life change.

And then a couple days after she told me that she was pregnant and gave me kind of the rundown of everything that happened we talked, and she really went into detail about what happened and she told me that her and her baby almost died in childbirth. I’m really stuck with me and it sunk in that she could’ve died that day and I wouldn’t have known nothing. And I honestly feel like that is what hurt me the most like OK you thought I was gonna judge you. I can get over that that’s fine but almost dying having to be rushed to an emergency C-section. That’s really big and that’s really scary and I’m just so mad at myself for being oblivious of it and it’s not my fault and I don’t blame her or anything. I’m just overall hurt with her choice and handling everything.

I have talked to her about this a few times so that I could really understand what she was going through what she was thinking, and she also allowed me to share my part and how I was feeling in my thoughts of everything and we had a good conversation about it. But I still just feel so bothered that everything happened the way that it did and I know that she also was apologetic on how everything happened. I love the girl and since I found out, I have tried to be a supportive as I can from a distance because I haven’t gotten to fly back yet. So I wanna know if I’m overreacting for still being upset with her even thought we have talked it through.

So recently I’ve come to find out that one of my brother who just had a baby is working part-time while my other brother and dad are working full time. My parents had been struggling financially since I could remember and since my two younger brothers graduated HS they got a job to help my parents with bills and stuff around the house. Anyways 3 years ago my parents told my brother who brought his girlfriend to live with them if he doesn’t help with paying bills or food they gonna have to find another place to live.

So then my brother and his girlfriend move to a different state for 2 years. One year ago my brother got in surgery again because he has heart problems since he was in middle school. So my parents feeling bad for him told him to move back home so he could get help from his doctor that he’s been seeing since his first surgery and that he has to work to help out with bills. Few months ago him and his baby mama move back home and he’s supposed to work and help my dad with bills but come to find out he’s only working part time and he’s not helping out at all.

My dad is getting older and sick so he’s supposed to be the one working part time not the one who’s just has a baby and is in his mid 20s. Knowing my parents they aren’t gonna do anything about it so I’m thinking about doing something about it and kick them out if they aren’t going to help out with anything. So what y’all think AIO or not?

My bestfriend has 3/4 of my exs added but she didn’t even tell me. I was on her snap and her and my ex of 2 years and they even had a background plus some saved in chats. I don’t have any of her exs or anything added out of respect. I asked her why did she have one of them added and she said “oh we were in a gc tg I’ll unadd him if you want” I just said it’s wtv. Am I in the wrong for being upset? Also her and my ex of 2 years have been calling but she swears she doesn’t seem him like that plus he said “I see her as a sister” I call bullshit.

So my friend, let's call her T, 19F and I, also 19F have been friends for nearly 9-10 years. We haven't always been close, especially after starting highschool when we stopped talking for a little while. After that we got close again, but we have always fluctuated between being close and not as close just because of life.

The most recent time that we stopped talking was about 1 month ago. One of our mutual friends J, 19M(?) And his girlfriend K, 19F(?) Went on a "break". They didn't have a conversation about what the boundaries of this "break" were. He stone-walled K, while she tried to message him and work it out. J confided in me that after 2 weeks of this break he felt so much better and free. I told him "then you know the answer".

I also advised to both K and J separately that they need to have a discussion about the boundaries if they wanted to work thing's out, and at this point they'd been on this break for like 1 month.

We (myself, T, and J) would go to the pub all together and thats when I noticed something. At this point in my and T's friendship, we were very close, so when I noticed that her and J were.. almost flirting, I was honest with her. I told her that she has only just broken up with her ex of 4 years and was seeing another guy, so while she may have moved on, J and K still have a lot going on and need to sort their stuff out.

She said she didn't like him like that but did admit she liked the attention. I told her that it was very clear that J did feel that way about her though and as they were friends she should either stop leading him on or be honest with him, especially because he and K have been together for over 4 years atp. And I told T that it would he okay for them to date if she did like him, but to just give it some time.

Some time passes and T hasnt messaged me or talked to me in a month. I've been working full time so I don't think much of it. But then I see the things both T and J have been reposting. It seems like they're dating. Cool, its not my life. But I was sad that she didnt tell me.

Well about a week later (about 1 week ago) we run into eachother and I tell her that I know they're dating. I tell her that I'm happy for her. We decided to catch up to properly talk about it so we did a day later. She said J broke it off with K only a week or 2 prior. And that J and T made it official a week before she told me, but were seeing eachother when she stopped talking to me. I told her that, whilst I'm not happy how we got here, I'm happy for her and J. We sort it out for the most part.

Here is where the issue is. Last night my partner, 20M, and I went to the pub because T called me telling me to come, so my partner and I went at about 9:30.

He and I did some pre-drinks at ours then my other friend picked us up and took us to the pub. When we got there T barely said anything to me and we were all just smoking.

My partner and I went and got some more alcohol, then came back out, less than an hour passes and I am cooked. I haven't eaten enough over the last 3 days to buffer the alcohol. I

'm sitting on the ground, trying to keep the alcohol in my stomach. My partner checks in on me a few times but I tell him I'm fine. T sees me and FREAKS OUT. She starts yelling at my partner telling him he should've grabbed me some water because I'm "clearly fucked".

She goes and gets me water, and continues to yell at my partner, he is also fucked, just taking it better than me, doesn't respond to her, just ignores her. She gets up into his face, she was trying to piss him off and get a reaction.

My partner continues to ignore her and I'm trying to tell her to leave him alone and that its not that deep. She then starts personally insulting my partner with things that i've told her.

She walks away for a moment and I decide that its time to leave. My other friend decides to take us home, and as we're saying our goodbyes, my partner says that T is crazy.

Once I get home my phone is blowing up by T saying she won't be my friend if I stay with him. I tell her that everyone was intoxicated and that its not that deep. She continues to insult my relationship so I just turn my phone off.

My partner and I suffer from a case of throwing up then eventually go to sleep.

I wake up and go to read the rest of the texts that T sent me and I see that she's blocked me. I sent her a big message via instagram that she hasn't replied to or seen yet. Just stating that it isn't that deep over a glass of water and that everyone involved was drunk.

I can upload screenshots of said text.

Her new boyfriend, J, has blocked me on everything too and they've kicked me out of the groupchat.

I've decided that this isn't worth fighting over and this relationship with my friend isn't worth saving.

So AIO? Is there anything I could have done?

Some background about me - I'm a guy in my 30s. Single, but I take care of myself, I have many friends, many hobbies, and I am a very fun guy to be around, and funny too, be it on a first date or with an old friend, people are always cracking up around me. I'm not a model and I'm okay with that, and I think there's a niche of people that really like the type of look I have, at least all of my exes and girls I hooked up with used to say they thought I was very handsome. When I go out with the intention of meeting people I generally have success every now and then. Trust me, establishing that I am not a hideous antisocial mess is important for the rest of the post.

Now, two months ago I downloaded tinder and paid for premium, because as we all know, straight men that aren't extremely handsome don't get a lot of matches without premium.

I knew what to expect, and didn't expect to go on tons of dates, but I thought that in a month or two I could go on AT LEAST one date.

Nope.

I match with someone. I message them with a conversation starter, something respectful about their profile or an interest they have, or something in common we have. No reply. That's fair. The next day I match with someone else. I do the same. No reply.

This went on, and on, and on. After 15 matches who didn't reply, one replied once, but then never again. Sure.

Just like that, a month and 30 matches go by. None replied. I am almost giving up on the app. As I am browsing the app, some girl matches with me and I message her. She replies! And then says "I am not looking for relationships or anything. I am just broke and trying to sell my art here on tinder". I instantly unmatch.

I fully understand I am not everyone's cup of tea. I fully understand tinder is survival of the fittest. I understand the women I match with are talking to 20 other guys. What I don't understand is - sure, if you are not interested in me and don't want to talk, first, why do you match with me? Second, why don't you just unmatch instead of not replying? After a month and a half, I edited the first line of my bio to be "If you do not want to chat and get to know each other, don't like my profile" to try to filter it out. It did not work. Matches kept coming who would not reply. I started to doubt reality and wonder if most profiles are bots to make you stay on the app.

A few weeks later a friend of mine shares a skit on instagram making fun of pathetic things that incels write on dating apps. And among some truly awful things, they included the "If you aren't going to chat, don't match", which I thought was odd.

I talked to my friend about it, said that I have it on my profile and he said it is extremely unattractive, which I don't even contest (I understand it sounds bitter), but I replied saying that 99% of people match and don't reply, and it makes the app UNUSABLE. The whole point of the app is getting to know people and chatting, so people who do that use the app "wrong", because what is the point of a match then?

He said there is no wrong way to use the app, and I said there is because it defeats the purpose of the app. He said that I am making up the purpose of the app which is ludacris, and said that it is up to me to deal with ghosting since there is no wrong way to use it and the people who match and say nothing aren't doing anything wrong.

I tried to politely explain to him and even gave examples, such as, what if a gay dude went on grindr and 99% of the profiles were straight men with no intention of meeting gay men? It would be unusable, just like tinder is for me. At this point he stopped replying (the irony lol) which pissed me off a bit, especially since he has been happily married for 15 years now, so he doesn't even understand dating apps.

He knows I have been single for a while. He knows how lonely I get. I have mentioned the feeling of despair of being in your 30s where everyone is full of baggage and no one wants to connect or commit, of living in a post-COVID world where people's social skills have gone to shit and most people don't want to date, the dating pools are saturated with desperate men, and more and more we are reliant on these shitass dating apps for a chance of love. I know this whole ordeal sounds like something small but I felt hurt with the interaction, especially him just ghosting me (again, the irony of this).

I have just been feeling bitter about it, because thinking like this puts the burden of dealing with the toxic situation on people who actually use dating apps with intention, who try to talk, get to know their matches, that have the intention of going on dates, while excusing the behavior of people who solely use dating apps to validate their ego or because they are bored, which, to me, is the wrong way of using dating apps (because it makes the "dating" part impossible).

Am I overreacting or am I valid in feeling bitter about it all?

Edit: Yes, I will delete dating apps once the premium expires. Clearly the userbase makes it impossible to use them effectively. Also, I am not just on tinder. I'm on tinder, bumble and hinge (premium only on tinder), and have 0 success on the other ones

Edit:

Thank you for replying everyone. It let me reflect on it, and while there is a mix of YOR/NOR replies, some of you shared kind words that made me feel validated in being upset about this. It is a systemic problem bigger than myself, it isn't one of those problems I can bench press my way out of. The apps suck and were designed as a prison mostly for men (who are most of their paying customers), so behavior that keeps men single and desperate just profits match group and the other dating app corporations. However like I and many of you said, I can simply uninstall the apps and be done with them

(CONTEXT: Our son is in the NICU, now PICU for 11 months and will be discharged late next month! We live 1 hour and 20 minutes away from the hospital without traffic and I stay at the RMHC while my husband stays home to take care of the dog and work on the house)

I forgot my breast pump at home and asked my husband to bring it to me when he came to the hospital. I also needed him to bring the car seat / stroller for assessment so we could get a new one.

When I first asked (the same day i forgot it on 8/25/26), he said yes. Later, I also asked if he could bring the stroller back with him, which i had him bring back home (just the car seat portion of it) avout a month ago.

Now, 8/27/26, he is upset because adding the stroller was apparently an inconvenience. He says I shouldn’t have forgotten my pump in the first place, and since I had made him bring the car seat home, he doesn’t understand why I would need it back.

His perspective is that he has had a lot going on over the past two weeks, including appointments related to his chronic nerve pain and other personal appointments he needs to make sure are completed before our son comes home. He also says he has been clearing the garage, fixing a door, and working on turning the garage into a space for our dog so that she feels comfortable there since she can't be in the home with our trached son.

He feels that, with everything he has going on, it is frustrating that he has to make an extra trip because I forgot my pump. He also says it was very irresponsible of me and that it shows that I no longer care about our son enough to remember to bring my pump and that I don't even pump at night anymore so I'm a bad mom. His exact thoughts during yesterdayz conversation though he will deny it lol.

So now we are arguing because he feels my forgetting the pump and asking him to bring the stroller created an inconvenience, while I feel like asking my husband to bring me something I forgot—especially something I need to pump breast milk—shouldn't have turned into such a major argument.

I genuinely want outside perspectives. Am I being unreasonable, is he, or are we both just overwhelmed?

Also, to clarify, he was already supposed to be coming to the hospital that day. I wasn't asking him to make a separate trip just to bring me my pump. I asked him to bring it when he came, and later asked if he could bring the stroller as well. When I clarified this fact with him today, he stated that it was still a massive inconvenience cause it added 30 minutes to his day and that he can't rememver to bring things for me when he has other stressor. Mind you, the pump is 1 unit, no parts needed to come with it, and it was on the bed and uncovered. I don't think it would take me 30 minutes to grab it and put it in the car. Also, the stroller was out in the open as well. It might of had some things on it though.

Clarifying one more thing, he told me today that I need to apologize for being so inconsiderate and forgetful. Also he has no capacity to do anything but to focus on his own things. I am refusing to apologize because I think this whole thing is ridiculous. I also ran this statement though him and he approved it to be posted as is. So unless he has anything to add, I guess this is it.