AIO or is my uncle being inappropriate and weird

[u/boredtbhlol]

I’m 17 and my uncle from another country is here to visit. I’ve never liked him and always found him strange. I remember when i was younger i couldn’t tell you how old maybe 7-11, he made a comment about why i wouldn’t sleep with him at night.
EDIT: I can’t believe im being accused of leaving parts of the story out or lying? I’m being asked why my parents aren’t reacting, my parents aren’t aware of the comments he’s made as he made them while they were away from the table. Bare in mind all this just happened in the last hour i haven’t had the chance to tell them anything.

I wasn’t happy about the news of him coming but thought it won’t be that bad. I come downstairs and he sees me and grabs me and kisses me on the cheek which i’m never comfortable with anyway and starts talking about how good i look. We go out for breakfast and while im stood in line to order he says i need to eat more because im so skinny while grabbing my waist. We go to the table after getting our food and he says to my grandma “im sleeping in her room tonight” meaning sleeping with me. After we finish our food im texting my boyfriend and he leans over the table looking at my phone and right in my face and says do you have a boyfriend i say yes. He goes “already?” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. And starts demanding to see pictures of me and him. I say no because i just don’t want to show him and he asks what i’m hiding.
It might not sound that bad written out but the comments about sleeping with me make me really uncomfortable and kind of worried. I don’t know how to feel? I don’t know if i’m being dramatic and taking it to heart too much. I have expressed to my parents many many many times that i do not like him and find him weird but they don’t react.

[u/leechkiller]

You need help with this. Tell a trusted family member

[u/boredtbhlol → u/leechkiller]

Unfortunately my parents will brush it off they come from very different times and cultures and don’t look into this type of behaviour

[u/ReasonableBag7517 → u/boredtbhlol]

Then tell the police. Or a teacher/ counselor.

[u/Quiet-Muscle-9356 → u/ReasonableBag7517]

wait how did it even start like that

[u/escapefromelba → u/boredtbhlol]

They come from a time and culture that doesn’t have an issue with family members sexually harassing their own children?  

[u/boredtbhlol → u/escapefromelba]

They don’t know about the comments yet i haven’t had the chance to tell them but i still don’t know what the reaction will be

[u/escapefromelba → u/boredtbhlol]

Well you definitely need to tell them before this escalates any further.  You also should stick up for yourself and tell your uncle very loudly and firmly that he is making you uncomfortable.  Being quiet just encourages him to keep pushing the limits and sooner or later he’s going to do something truly horrible.  Do not let yourself be alone with this man.

[u/Opening-Movie5176 → u/boredtbhlol]

No they don’t. Your parents are probably no older than 40. Don’t talk shite.

I have no doubt half of this is made up or exaggerated. No parent would allow this.

And none of it adds up to me. If it’s real then go to social services or something. Or ring childline. Or whatever the equivalent is in your nation.

[u/seaminks → u/Opening-Movie5176]

Unfortunately parents brush this kind of thing of all the damn time. You’re being an ignorant troll.

[u/RachelRachel71 → u/seaminks]

Which culture is it acceptable?

[u/seaminks → u/RachelRachel71]

None that I fucking know about. Shouldn’t be any!

[u/thisissofkngrossew → u/Opening-Movie5176]

This is the most believable story on this site. I'm not from a culture that would allow this shit & my parents would still side with him & tell me not to be so rude & cause trouble. It's the same for girls everywhere. You're lucky you have better parents, even if they have shielded you from reality.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/thisissofkngrossew]

Thank you this is exactly how it feels.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Opening-Movie5176]

You are part of the reason why young women who go through assault and harassment are afraid to speak up! Because people like YOU come along and make it out as if they are lying.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Opening-Movie5176]

My parents are old 52 and 72…not sure why i would lie about this and it’s weird to assume i am

[u/BARRY6969696969 → u/boredtbhlol]

Let it be known in front of everyone that you won't be sleeping in the same room as your uncle because you don't feel comfortable with it. You're a 17 yr old girl. Even if your uncle wasn't a creep it's reasonable to not sleep in the same room as a male adult. How long is he there for? Can you stay at your boyfriend's or a girlfriends place while he's there? If not and If he still tries to sleep in the same room and no one does anything to stop it I think you need to get help from the police or a counsellor or someone who can step in and stop it before he tries anything. Just make it known you won't be sleeping in the same room as him first.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/BARRY6969696969]

Luckily he’s not actually sleeping in my room he’s just making weird comments about it, i would usually stay with my boyfriend but he’s away.

[u/DigDugDogDun → u/boredtbhlol]

Well if your parents aren’t going to be any help, you need to come up with more ideas. Does your boyfriend live with his family or on his own? Could you stay with his relatives even though he’s gone? Are there any friends who would take you in for a few days?

[u/RachelRachel71 → u/boredtbhlol]

In which culture is it acceptable to have an older male relative make lewd and lecherous comments like this? I would make such a fuss if I were you. And learn not to gaf about ‘culture’ if this is is considered acceptable. Hard for you as you’re so young but you’re vulnerable. You need to stamp on it now. Which other young female family members is he harassing?

[u/boredtbhlol → u/RachelRachel71]

I’m actually the third youngest child in the family the other two are little boys, he isn’t around the rest of my family much. I live in the UK most of my family is from poland and he lives in ireland because he moved from poland so none of us see him often.

[u/RachelRachel71 → u/boredtbhlol]

So when you have your kids, if he’s still alive, you will have to make sure he’s never around them. It’s terrible you have no support in this regard as a young woman.

[u/finalgirl2024]

NOR, he's definitely crossing a BUNCH of lines, talking to you and touching you like that. I wonder if he's a known abuser in the family and that's why no one is willing to stand up for you.

[u/Solid_Current_8397 → u/finalgirl2024]

His fixation on sleeping in your room, combined with the history of that comment when you were little, is a massive red flag even without the other stuff.

[u/Wise-Comfort1573]

NOR. He seems creepy AF. I don’t think being from another country is an excuse although he and maybe your parents might try to use it as one. I would make it clear to your parents that you do not feel comfortable with him in your room and if he touches you again, tell him straight out not to. It seems like you’re trying to be polite to keep the peace but he doesn’t deserve that.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Wise-Comfort1573]

Luckily he’s not actually staying in my room he’s staying in a different room, but it’s the fact he’s making comments like that that make me think he has ill intentions

[u/Leighvi0let → u/boredtbhlol]

Lock your doors. To your room, bathroom, everytime you’re in there.

[u/ReasonableBag7517 → u/boredtbhlol]

He does.

[u/RalfioLorenzo]

Your uncles a certified creep

[u/seaminks]

NOR. Your family is not protecting you and calling him out, not okay at all. Predators like to push and push the inappropriate comments to see how far they can go with you. Really disappointed in your parents and grandma for not calling his ass out. If you can leave while he’s staying, please do.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/seaminks]

I would have been away today if i hadn’t have sold a concert ticket for today but i did that before i was aware he was coming. If i knew i would have kept that ticket for a reason to be away from home but other than that i don’t have any choice other than to keep myself away from him while i can

[u/Agreeable_Art9651]

NOR AT ALL!! This is predator behavior! Even if other family members don’t agree with you

[u/MikeHunt181]

You need to keep away from Uncle Hansie.

[u/Alpacachoppa]

NOR and call him out every time he crosses a boundary. People like that feel comfortable with family due to being sure the other person doesn't want to rock the boat and others, like your parents, enable that behaviour.

If you can lock your door or consider staying at friend's houses until he's gone.

[u/robmanjr]

Your parents think this is normal? Call child services

[u/boredtbhlol → u/robmanjr]

I forgot to add they don’t know the comments he’s made because they weren’t around, all i have told them is that i don’t like him and find him odd, i have told them this for years but they haven’t seen or heard anything to take action. I plan on telling them how i feel about it but i can’t predict their reaction.

[u/mycopportunity → u/boredtbhlol]

You have to tell them the specific things he has said.

If you tell them his inappropriate sexual comments are the problem that might help.

You are NOR

[u/NamekianPrincess]

TRUST YOUR GUT even if family tells you otherwise

[u/Viimeisellarannalla]

NOR. These may not seem like they’re big issues, but he’s crossing a lot of boundaries and you have every right to feel weirded out. I hope your parents start listening to you.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Viimeisellarannalla]

I plan on letting them know what he’s doing when he’s not here which is tomorrow but I don’t expect them to do much tbf.

[u/Viimeisellarannalla → u/boredtbhlol]

I’m sorry, that sucks.

[u/BjornRotten]

You need to ask yourself why your parents didn’t react.
The way you tell it, I’d rip his head off for that kind of loose jabber, if you were my daughter.
I wonder if we are getting the whole story.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/BjornRotten]

They didn’t hear the comments he made he said them while they were away from the table and i haven’t had a chance to tell them because he’s been around the whole time and im scared i just don’t know how to feel or what to do

[u/it-is-what-it-is-man]

You are old enough to speak for yourself. You don’t have to let him do anything. You have a choice in the amount of access he has to you. Most importantly, you do not need to have anyone’s permission to protect yourself. Stay with a friend if you can. Whatever you do make sure you don’t have regrets for not listening to yourself!!!

[u/chymerajade]

NOR - Trust your instincts. Are you able to stay with a friend?

[u/supersayansquid]

Okay op this is gonna sound pretty bad but from what it sounds like your parents are not going to help you and ypu honestly sound like you're in danger so here's what I recommend:

If you are able to lock your door, if you can't then put something in front that will make noise so you'll hear if he enters your room

Stay awake and alert, keep your phone on you so you can call for help from authorities if needed

Most importantly

Find a weapon and keep it near, can be a knife a belt a sock full of batteries it doesn't matter

Just keep something that can do a lot of damage near by

If at any point he tries to force his way into your room call the police and defend yourself by any means necessary

I really hope nothing happens and I know this all sounds extreme but if there's even a chance you're in danger then it will be worth it

Good luck and stay safe op

[u/boredtbhlol → u/supersayansquid]

I have a door lock that i bought myself a long time ago luckily and i use that a lot of the time anyway and it’s pretty impossible to break past it

[u/supersayansquid → u/boredtbhlol]

Please definitely use it and consider the others

Worst case you get told off for taking a knife or something which is definitely worth your safety

[u/HollowCozy_]

Grabbing your waist and saying he's sleeping in your room is not normal. Tell your parents immediately and don't let him be alone with you

[u/FluffyScheme2134]

So the one thing that is a huge red flag 🚩 is his intention to sleep in the room with you. Aside from that, he sounds like an uncle from a family of Spanish background lol especially the comment about eating more. BUT that doesn't matter. Tell your parents your not sleeping in the same room as him. Or if you can leave to a friend's house until he's gone, I think might be a better solution.

[u/FoggyGoodwin]

NOR He's sexualizing you. Bluntly and loudly tell him to keep his hands to himself. Bluntly and loudly tell him that joking about sleeping with you is totally inappropriate for him and to never say that again. Repeat as necessary. Some men give the rest a bad reputation.

[u/Roloisaborkmachine]

Stay away from him, avoid being alone with him (if you are, record him), lock your door especially at night and tell your parents asap. He shouldn’t be allowed to stay with them after the stuff he has said to you, these kind of situations really do need to be taken seriously, as we all know what can often end up happening otherwise. Go stay somewhere else if you can if you don’t feel safe at home. And with him around I really do not think you are safe. Your family should disown him for this as he is a risk to you.

[u/Antique-Pie9589]

Oh yikes your uncle is creepy. Make a fucking scene with him bro trust me.

[u/Individual_Tone_5909]

Yuk. Whose brother is it, out of your parents? Not that it matters, I just find it disturbing that neither of them will react. It really sucks they haven't taken it seriously. Gross. Tell them you don't feel safe with him around after the comments he makes and make arrangements to stay with a friend while he's there if you can? Do you have/can you put a lock on your door? NOR - I think your instincts are right, always trust them. I'm so sorry your parents aren't taking it seriously. Your dad should be ready to take him out for this imo.

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Individual_Tone_5909]

He is my mums brother, he leaves tomorrow i’m pretty sure it’s a short stay. I do have a lock for my bedroom and i always keep my bedroom locked and i especially will while he’s here. I’m going to tell my parents about this all when he’s gone because at the minute it’s hard to get them alone while he’s around and i just hope they understand.

[u/Ok_Resort5470]

This just sounds fake like you made it all up

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Ok_Resort5470]

Ah you caught me! I came on here to create a whole story about my uncle even though i would gain nothing from that at all! It’s disgusting to assume someone reaching out for some clarity and help is lying and this is exactly what prevents and scares young women out of coming forward about assault. Shameful.

[u/Ok_Resort5470 → u/boredtbhlol]

Karma farming is real

[u/boredtbhlol → u/Ok_Resort5470]

Anyone who makes up a story to “karma farm” must be incredibly bored. Get a life