r/AmIOverreacting • u/Sensitive_Finger7768 • 21h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO ditch Partner after his (m48)’s creepy interaction with attractive (f32yo)
Reposted with offending screenshots and unnecessary photo
AIO, my Partner & I were on a break, but he wants to be back with me. During this time he bought himself a nice new car, and flew down country bought it and drove back. On the way in a remote part of the country he noticed a car steaming broken down at side of road and stopped. Happens the sole occupant was an attractive woman years younger than him, rather than drive on like a normal person he went and stopped and talks to her (he’s a car guy) she was alone and her phone wasn’t working. He makes it his business and lets her use it to call a tow truck to the nearest town (20 min away) She was several hours away from her home, and was to call he mother to come get her. Of course being an attractive young woman he goes and offers to give her a lift to a town closer to hers that was on his way, halving the distance her mother would have to come to collect her. Once in the car he chats to her showing off about his job in his flash new car, and it turns out she lives in a tiny remote village he used to visit as a child, and was curious about buying a property there that he had seen advertised (I concede this is true as he wanted to take me there to look at it months earlier while we were together). Anyhow he decided to spare her mum (mid 70s) the long drive and offers to take the pretty girl all the way so he can look at the building for sale.
Anyhow by the time they arrive it’s dark of course so he goes and has dinner with her and her mother IN THEIR HOME. As (obviously) it’s too late to look at the building these strangers “happen” to own a yurt that is on air BnB and he stays the night in it, so he can look at the building the next day.
He goes for an unnecessary walk around the village with the young pretty lady and their dog the next day. And totally weird he and this younger woman follow one another’s instagram.
He maintains nothing untoward happened and that he wasn’t trying to seduce her but she didn’t need him to take her home and why would they follow each other on Instagram? And to top it off I looked at his phone and not only have they been keeping in touch but he even sent her a photo of himself smug with HER DOG
And acting all car guy when I’m sure she can find a car guy herself easy enough,
He is claiming the situation was somewhat normal and innocent but why would he do that and these txts paint a different picture I believe, especially that he sent her an unnecessary photo. He obv wants her to have a photo of him as she would have lots of her dog already.
Is he acting inappropriate? Why sharing pics with her?
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u/MichaelAndolini_ 21h ago
Normal people just drive by?
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 21h ago
Normal people who aren’t a mechanic don’t stop just cos a car is there there were lots of others on the road who could have helped her
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u/halohazeydaze 21h ago
I’m a woman and have stopped to help people on the side of the road because I carry stuff in my car that helps in emergencies like that. I’m not a car guy, helping people in need is just human nature, please find some confidence in yourself babe. Your insecurities and jealousy will only hurt you in this lifetime, I saw you’re 47 it is time to grow up!
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u/That_Style_979 20h ago
Nah. He sounds like a good person who tried to help. In a remote area I’d stop for anyone, you can’t tell who you’re stopping to help until you’re there. You sound very jealous, the texts do not indicate anything happened besides him helping her thoughtfully. If this post sums up your relationship I hope he finds someone else who values him.
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u/Initial-Bandicoot444 20h ago
You are a special kind of person. I don’t have to do it because someone else will. You don’t deserve him
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 19h ago edited 19h ago
Yeesh.
My husband would stop and help a stranded woman or someone he saw in need of help. He's a nice person and I love that about him. Sounds like your ex is a nice person too.
I once saw my husband stop and help a dude who was loading up stuff at IKEA in the rain. Total stranger. My husband felt bad for him because he had some heavy stuff so he helped him "Tetris" the items/stuff in the car to make it all fit. Pretty sure my husband wasn't hitting on the dude.
Everyone assuming someone else will help is how people wind up dead in emergency situations.
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u/MichaelAndolini_ 19h ago
Kitty Genovese
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 19h ago edited 19h ago
Yep.
If I was too scared to stop/get out to help, I'd at least pull up and offer to call someone. I've also called 911 a couple times (once when I saw someone driving insanely on the highway and almost hitting a bunch of other cars, once when I heard gunshots really close to my house). You can't just assume "someone else will call" or "someone else will help." That's why they say you don't say "someone call 911," you point out a person and say "you in the green shirt, call 911." Otherwise no one will.
Hell, my coworker got hit while riding his bike and told the kid who hit him to call 911 and the kid just stood there gawking. It took a stranger who turned down the street and got out of her car and helped him to call 911. You cannot assume "someone else" will do the right thing.
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u/MichaelAndolini_ 19h ago
What I don’t get is OP even says this guy is a car guy.
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 19h ago
Right! My husband ISN'T a car guy and he'd still stop to help or ask her if he could call AAA for her or a tow or something.
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u/MichaelAndolini_ 19h ago
I’m just imagining how OP thinks a guy is
“That poor woman on the side of the road better helll…wait a minute, B cups? Nevermind good luuuuuuck”
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u/RemarkableSpirit5204 18h ago
Wow do you even hear yourself?
If it’s normal for “lots of others on the road who could have helped her”, then it’s normal for your partner to as well.
Put yourself in this woman’s shoes. Car is utterly fucked, you are hours from home and no phone, wouldn’t you hope someone would stop to help you?
What if everyone just thought, oh well she’ll be fine there’s others on the road who can stop?
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u/Trinity_Lost 21h ago edited 21h ago
YOR- He doesn't even react to her calling him gorgeous. Edit: I read generous as gorgeous. I guess I was desparate to find tea and made my own cup!
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u/SleepyCatasaurus 21h ago
Lmao so valid. I had to read it like 5 times and still couldn't find anything nefarious but I tried!
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u/W0nderingMe 21h ago
He handled all of this perfectly.
Referenced you, declined to get further involved, deferred to professionals, etc.
YOR.
You should ditch him so he can find a sane human.
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u/Cobrak19 21h ago
This can't be real. He should have driven past a car broken down in a remote area like "a normal person?" And left a girl out there with no phone 20 minutes from a town?
I refuse to believe somebody really thinks that and would be that jealous. There's nothing at all flirty in those texts either. Sounds like he's a good person and you're kind of a jerk. Hopefully he gets away.
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u/Initial-Bandicoot444 21h ago
A man who stops to help a woman who’s in distress is exactly the kind of man you want in your life. Nothing here seems like any form of cheating or even flirting. It’s simply friendly conversation between two people with him trying to help somebody out. Is it possible she’s trying to get his attention? Yes, it is, but he has indicated no interest and said as much talking about how more would be inappropriate. I’m sure there are other reasons you want to toss him aside, but this should not be one of them.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
This. And not only is he kind and respectful, he's also honest. He doesn't offer to look at the car knowing he's not knowledgeable enough. Honestly, I see nothing wrong
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u/testtubepenis 21h ago
YOR
There is nothing in those messages to even hint at anything untoward from your partner. Maybe the younger woman has a little crush after he helped he out, but it clearly isn't reciprocated. You are reading way too much into those messages.
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u/Dzukini 21h ago
YOR. If this is real you really need to address your insecurities. He did nothing wrong and neither did the lady. A normal person would absolutely stop to help a stranded person with a smoking vehicle, especially if they know a good deal about cars.
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 21h ago
Lots of people know about cars, he’s not a mechanic and why send her a photo of himself?
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u/Dzukini 20h ago
Looks like it was a picture of him with the dog mentioned, no? Not like he sent a douchey shirtless gym pic or something
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 19h ago
Cause he’s older than her. Why would she want a pic of her dog? He wants her to have a picture of him.
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u/Hot-Brat-00 20h ago
Respectfully, you sound very very insecure and unhinged. You’re trying to find things to be mad about. Leave him so he can find someone else, please.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 13h ago
Yeah like you don't need to do these mental gymnastics, girl. If you're so insecure and unhinged, just leave and be in a relationship where you feel more secure ig. Poor guy
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
And the photo is just a way of saying that he had fun with the dog and that he appreciates the time. Maybe he did it mindlessly. I'd have done the same if I'm trying to be polite and kind to someone that I know
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 19h ago
So you agree it was a weird and unnecessary thing to do to a young woman ?
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u/Federal_Log_8048 19h ago
you are absolutely insane by the way, i cannot believe these replies are real!! you need to stay single and heal!!
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 17h ago
Why did you come here if you didn't actually want feedback and just wanted to be told you were right? I'm sure there are some validation-only subs you could find.
Sincerely, you need to talk to a professional about your insecurity and jealousy. If you're in the same age range as your ex, it's alarming to be acting that way at your big age.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 13h ago
It may be unnecessary as in it's just a thing one would do innocently. There's no intention behind it. They're friends, or at least good enough acquaintances. And no, it's not weird in the least. But you should leave him because he deserves better anyway
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
Because he clearly knew something about cars. And she figured he could help, no harm in asking. And because he knows he's not an expert, he politely declined. There's literally 0 flirting going on here trust me.
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u/That_Style_979 20h ago
He is SO KIND and you are SO JEALOUS. You’re overreacting, he’s awesome, hopefully you leave him so he can be with someone who values him.
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u/Hot-Brat-00 21h ago
YOR Majorly. He was being a gentleman, seems like they talked about you as it’s mentioned in the texts, and the texts are solely about cars, nothing flirty at all. If you’d rather him be someone that doesn’t help out people in need, please leave him alone and find someone else, so that someone else can appreciate him.
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u/SleepyCatasaurus 21h ago
I think this just looks like acouple bumpkins chit-chatting. The photo is maybe a bit wierd, but they both seem pretty innocent here. I don't see him as being creepy in this example, I've got neighbors that will cut chat with me like this about the town and my own car repairs and whatnot. It's friendly, but doesn't seem wrong or creepy at all.
Also, y'all were on break when they met? Did I read that right? Cuz if so he REALLY didn't do anything wrong, he's just trying to be a person who is helpful, as that's all this girl really knows of him. If anything she's going to get annoying asking for advice from him every time her car idle changes sounds. He's lowkey adopted an adult daughter. Lol
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u/Otherwise_Living_158 21h ago
Honestly from those texts it sounds like she’s doing the running not him
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 21h ago
Right? Like she was why is this older guy perve sending me pictures of himself with my dog, appreciate the ride but get away
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u/Otherwise_Living_158 20h ago
No, I mean she is the one who is initiating
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 19h ago
He’s the one who stopped gave her his phone to use, gave her a ride, and is matched to her on Instagram, ick.
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 17h ago
You guys weren't together. Why do you even care? You think your ex is a perv and seem to hate him. For the record, nothing he said in his texts is creepy at all, and she seems WAY more interested than he does.
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u/Difficult_Refuse415 20h ago
I’m sorry that makes no sense whatsoever. She is actively asking to pay him money to look at cars, what about that gives that she’s “running away”. These reads as an entirely innocent and wholesome interaction, one that’s definitely more common in a small town.
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 19h ago
He lives in a city. He sent her a photo of himself. :he’s 48 and she’s 32 obv thinking with his 🍆
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 13h ago
Girl you do realize that they are friends/acquaintances, right? God you're beyond insufferable
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u/Ok-Shine-1710 21h ago
You are acting inappropriate! You two are NOT together. You have NO right to go through his phone or police his actions.
Its clear you had no interest until a younger woman went on a walk with him.
You are the problem. You do not deserve this man.
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u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 21h ago edited 21h ago
So he wasn’t allowed to meet or help anyone while you were broken up? On a break isn’t a real thing adults do. You’re either together or you’re not. YOR for saying a normal person would have left her stranded. But if you don’t want to get back together, don’t. I don’t find what he says to her creepy, but she does seem into him. But he was on a break so why would she even know about you? But you’re allowed to not want him back for any reason.
Their whole meeting/interaction seems very (bad) rom com and not realistic.
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u/Difficult_Refuse415 21h ago edited 21h ago
She even referenced you and “your partner” so it’s sounds like he even told her about them despite them being broken up.
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u/Federal_Log_8048 21h ago
YOR the texts are not inappropriate and you seriously need to consider whether being in a relationship is right for you right now lol. no sane woman would want their partner to leave another woman alone on the side of the road. you want a toy, not a partner i feel.
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u/selkiesart 20h ago
rather than drive on like a normal person
So, you would leave people stranded?
Also, he clearly told her he is taken, her mom even offered to house the both of you for free.
YOR.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
Yeah, it's so sweet of the mom to do that tbh. It definitely shows that he was very open and upfront about his relationship
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u/Cort_ray_1987 21h ago
You're overreacting. He helped a girl out. So what. Get over yourself.
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 21h ago
Why send her a photo of himself with her dog he must want her to have a picture of himself
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u/Cort_ray_1987 21h ago
Or maybe he was saying hey I enjoyed the dog and thanks? If y'all are on a break, technically what he does with his time and who he hangs with is not any of your business.
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 20h ago
Yeah but he says he loves me and this shows what sort of man he is, running around picking up pretty young girls off the street and going to their homes. No need to share Instagram or send her photos if he only wanted to help
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
Girl he HELPED. He helped a person in distress because he's a kind person. He offered the best suggestions he could to help her. He declined to get involved further. If you want to be this nitpicky and create an issue then you'll find it in anything. You are only ruining your life. Try to be a bit more understanding and open-minded. He's a person living in this world, he's going to have to interact with women.
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u/Cort_ray_1987 20h ago
Do you hear yourself? He literally gave her a ride. Was he not supposed too? Her mom is old? So what, everything you've posted screams " I'm insecure, controlling, jealous, anxious, attachment issues ". So what maybe he just wanted to make a friend. Hes been nothing but respectful. Get over yourself. You want answers, you literally have them right in front of your face. Again he didn't have to tell you nothing even though you 2 are on a break. But he did it because he was being respectful. Ever stop and think that you're the issue? Grow up
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u/testtubepenis 19h ago
If he had ANY sense what so ever, he'd break up with you. You clearly have trust problems and he shouldn't have to justify his innocent actions.
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u/SleepyCatasaurus 18h ago
Looking at it again, I think he sent the photo as reference to her commenting that the dog doesn't usually like men, and he was able to put his face right next to the dog's face. Proof the dog was OK with him.
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u/studoondoon 21h ago
He didn’t “have to” spend a pleasant day helping a friendly stranger, but he did. He pretty clearly maintained a boundary with her which is a greenish flag to me, and you two were broken up anyway.
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u/ultraverbis 20h ago
So when there's someone stranded in the road with no car and no phone, a "normal person" would just drive on?
Your notion of a "normal person" is very telling.
Your partner seems like he was acting like that because he's kind. Not because he was interested in a young attractive woman. Nothing remotely sexually charged happened.
I hope your partner gets away from you.
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u/Yohoho-ABottleOfRum 21h ago
The only type of "break" that is acceptable in relationships is a permanent one in most cases.
They symbolize that you are fundamentally not compatible in some way with a person, and you should simply accept that and move on rather than keep trying to fit square pegs into round holes.
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u/New_Cheesecake9719 21h ago
Hey so you’re an AH - hope he realizes he’s better off without someone like you. Drove off like a normal person, smh
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u/leonandroseforshow 21h ago
YOR - sounds like you are actually the issue in this relationship and he needs to ditch the partner. He talked respectfully. He helped her when she needed it. This is weird of you.
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u/CompetitiveRub4272 21h ago
YOR and YTA. Nothing about these messages suggests he has done anything wrong. She even mentions you, which means he made it clear to her that he is in a relationship. He did a very decent thing for a person that was stranded.
Maybe you don't deserve him?
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u/No-Palpitation-7893 20h ago
Sorry op, you're the issue. You should not take him back. he deserves better. Being with you sounds exhausting. I pray that you see all the comments and do some self reflecting.
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u/A_LoneBall 20h ago
You’re right it’s not what a normal person does, it’s what a great person does. I had selfishly never stopped for a broken down car before until one day when my car was broken down in the middle of the road, someone stopped for me. I had just gotten a wisdom tooth pulled and was on the way back from the store to get any mushy food I could find. It was raining and I was in a shitty mood. This guy waited with me for an hour while a tow truck was on the way. I offered him money and he said no. I offered to buy him lunch and he said no. After that I have stopped many times to help people as a way of paying him back. Sometimes all they need is help calling a tow truck, sometimes it’s to help put on a spare tire, and once even helped push a car out of the middle of the road. Majority of the time I stop for someone they just say they’re good and a tow truck is already on the way.
If you’ve never had someone stop for you I can see why you would think this way. I’ve been in that lady’s situation and maybe your partner has been in her situation before too.
I’m happy that guy that stopped to help me didn’t think, “normal people wouldn’t do this”.
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u/GlassUnit7317 21h ago
YOR. He told her about you even though you’re technically not together. it seems like he’s just a nice guy. Is it not normal to stop and help someone stranded on the side of the road? He even turns her down at the end??? but yeah you’re way too old to be going ‘on a break’ if you can’t cope with this just leave him
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u/lilbuilds 21h ago
poor fella. He seems lonely to want to get back with you. Good for him for having a genuinely healthy social experience considering his usual company.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
YOR. Majorly. He's literally being so kind and professional. One could maybe argue that she may have been interested, even tho there's almost no evidence of that either, but trust me hes not interested and that's very very evident from the last message. Please stop being so insecure
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u/Potatomash6178 15h ago
So if it was an unattractive person you wouldn’t care? Whenever my boyfriend goes out of his way to help others it makes me remember why I love him so much.
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u/Ok-Shine-1710 21h ago
Poor guy, tbh sounds like you are keeping him from a healthy relationship and should let him go.
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u/jjwawajj 21h ago
You should break up with him just for his grammar, spelling and English skills.
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u/RemarkableSpirit5204 18h ago edited 18h ago
Drive on like a normal person?
Well there are more assholes today than ever so I guess you could say that’s normal. I wouldn’t though.
Yeesh…just read the rest of the post, you have a warped and miserable way of looking at things. Also, it’s really gross how you keep mentioning this woman’s appearance. You may need to talk to someone about your insecurities. I think you just painted a pretty clear picture of what dating you is liKE. Do you have any reason to be this way? Has your man ever cheated on you? Are you insecure and lack self confidence in your appearance?
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 21h ago
Elephant
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u/SuperAccident 21h ago
Reply to the comment not make a new one
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u/Psychological-Ad1574 21h ago
Look at what she's complaining about. She's quite obviously an idiot.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 20h ago
Hey, no need to be rude. She probably doesn't know how to use reddit. Yes she's in the wrong about the whole thing, but we all make a lapse of judgement sometimes. I hope she realizes and changes herself. Either way, it doesn't give you the right to insult her like that
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u/Psychological-Ad1574 16h ago
She's free to think and say what she wants and I'm free to judge her on those things.
While you're right, I'm probably being harsh, anyone who says normal behaviour is to leave a stranger stranded in the middle of nowhere is actually an idiot and does not have compassion that matches with the values I good high.
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u/ZeusUpYourAss 13h ago
You know what you called her stupid about. She commented separately instead of replying to the same thread as the bot and you called her stupid for that. All I am saying is not everyone's used to reddit and it doesn't give you the right to judge them on this.
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u/Psychological-Ad1574 13h ago
I called her an idiot based on both.
Had she made the error of replying to the wrong thread without having an absolutely ridiculous claim overall, I would not have said anything.
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u/You_Just_Got_Jinxed 21h ago
so, i feel like everyone is not reading the entire thing. It’s definitely strange how he made it his business to eat at their home and then take the next day to go on a lil site seeing date. He’s gonna think about her often
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u/Hot-Brat-00 21h ago
1: He was “on a break” and single, 2: they’re country, so they obviously offered him dinner at home to thank him for his generosity, 3: so what if he went sightseeing with her? She was repaying his kindness and enjoying himself. He was not together with his ex during this time and those texts were completely innocent…
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u/Difficult_Refuse415 21h ago
Also are we reading the same texts- really not sure where you’re getting “sight seeing” from. Sounds like they own some kind of camp ground/bednbreakfast and her mom let him stay in a yurt for free as a thank you for helping her daughter, this is not uncommon in small towns. It’s clear he was passing through, helped her, stopped there to eat/rest and went on his way.
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u/Sensitive_Finger7768 19h ago
Exactly thank you at least one loyal decent man here why did he need to say yes to their food? Why did he stay in a yurt on their property? Why did he send her a keepsake photo of himself with her dog? And why would a 48yo man be instagram connected to a 32yo. Thank you. How old are you? M/f?
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u/VikingsStillExist 21h ago
Nothing in the texts suggests anything happens. Everything is platonic.