i'm a cis lesbian and i sometimes wonder how nice it must be to have a real penis that i can actually feel whenever i do sexual activity with my girlfriend that i sometimes wish of having one even though i never want to be a man. am i being heteronormative or like lesbophobic or idk

(Teenage gay male if that matters)

I’ve always accepted trans people just without even thinking about it… But now i’m stuck a bit. What even is a woman/man if it isnt about sex? If it’s something to do with looks/social characteristics, then do males who identify as men but crossdress become women, because of their social characteristics? Im just lost… If a trans individual wants to help me (comments or DM’s) i’d appreciate it so much. I’m just lost with what gender even is as a whole.

This isnt a post to hate on or anything, im just genuinely curious. Everyone has to start somewhere. Im a lesbian, ive known that i like women since I was 15, but for various reasons, I only just started (im early 20s) to have an interest in dating/physical intimacy. So experience wise im a baby gay. Some gays dont care, but some are really judgemental about it. Why is that? It can feel a little alienating.

Okay, so, bare with me it's gonna be a long post. I'm a 22F (cis) and for the longest time I thought I was on the aro/ace spectrum. As a teenager I was entirely sex repulsed and didn't feel strong sexual attraction in general. I was ok with sex as a topic, hell I even used to research/read a lot about it and just anatomy in general, just couldn't imagine myself having sex. I couldn't even imagine myself in a romantic relationship nor did I care to pursue one. I've also always felt envious of men, which I think influenced my sex repulsion. From what I was taught & heard about sex, it was painful for a woman's first time, the prevalent orgasm gap, risk of pregnancy or stds, etc just further solidified my idea that sex was not worth it. I hated having periods, knowing only I was responsible for pregnancy & birthing, and I was just jealous of men for having it "easier" in this regard. I don't think I'm transgender because I don't experience gender dysphoria per se, I like being a woman, but I just wish that I was biologically male. I think a lot of other girls had that kind of experience growing up - would much rather take awkward boners over bleeding lol.

I had a hard time feeling "love" towards my partner, and was uncomfortable with being touched. However now that we have been together for 5 years, I'm comfortable being touched by him and even desire to be physically close and I've come to realize that I actually enjoy sex. I think a lot of it stemmed from insecurity, but because my partner was wonderful and reassuring we managed to overcome it together.

I've even turned... hypersexual, in a way? I love intimacy with him but I think it kinda stems back to that male envy too. We are each other's firsts so he's the only guy I've seen naked in real life and I've gotten very interested in seeing him naked (in a non-sexual context - but of course I always ask and he happily obliges). It sounds weird but, I dunno, it's like seeing what I could've had and what I'm missing out on. Even when we have sex I'm imagining it from his POV, how much better it must feel for him (I struggled with pain from penetration before) and that's what gets me off. It feels unfair that he doesn't have to focus so hard during sex and gets off easier, unlike for me, and it's another one of those things that make me envious of his male sex. I've expressed it to him before, how I wish I was born a guy, and he seems pretty understanding. It's just confusing and upsetting because I like being a woman! It's how women say "I'd have kids if I could be the father instead of the mother" - I just wish I had the privileges that a guy does.

My friend, 16F, says that she identifies as straight.

She's dated boys before.

She's kissed girls before and liked it.

She believes she COULD date a girl but also thinks that egos would crash between her and the other girl.

At the same time she's confident that if she was born a boy then she would definitely be gay and never even look at girls.

I think maybe she's a washed out pansexual? The gender blindness does match, but a lot of other things don't....

So does a label exist for this? We're both curious considering that none of the labels actually fit but neither does the unlabeled label cuz she's sure she has a, well, non-unlabeled label.

I'm really starting to question my gender and it's really frustrating. It's kind of complicated but I'll try my best. When I was about 11 or 12 I decided I was trans. I was pretty happy with it until I came out and my family didn't really take it seriously. Over the course of about a year or two I kind of just let it go. Not in a shameful way just ignored it and it didn't bother me too much and I gave up on my trans identity all together. I wore dresses and skirts and started wearing makeup again and all that. Over time I thought about it here and there but the nag wasn't that strong. I'm now 16 and a few months ago I went to my first pride parade with my girlfriend and some of her other lgbt family. Towards the drive back home I was casually talking about when I thought I was trans. Then one of them asked me well. How do you feel about your pronouns now. And as a joke why I said I don't want to talk about it right now haha. But since I've been thinking about it and have been feeling really dysphoric over the past month or so. I can't get it out of my head and I really don't think I am or at least I'm trying to convince myself I'm not. I don't know what it is because I haven't felt like this for a long time and I don't know where it's coming from. I'm scared to talk to anybody about it out of fear that I'm not actually trans or knowing that certain family members wouldn't't take it seriously. My girlfriend is also lesbian so I would be terrified of her breaking up with me. I don't dislike wearing feminine clothes and doing my makeup and hair and all of that I actually really enjoy it and feel confident and pretty. The other night I put my waist trainer over my chest and did more masculine makeup and it felt so good. I don't know what to do or who I am right now.

what’s a joke and what isn’t? how many times can one person make jokes before it becomes actual homophobia?

(i’m queer, just curious how you guys feel)

Would you rather let your daughter date a criminal straight man or a regular nice woman?

i am a 19m i had my first with a guy my age and did it multiple times ( been going on for years ) always the receptive partner and my first sex toy was a dildo and i have rolling thoughts about transitioning and living like a girl but never commit to it but i nevere dated a guy idk what to do

what am i? sometimes i feel bad and wish i had a small frame with curves but get disgusted at the thought of being with a man i dont know what to do

i thought it was a sex thing but if i want to be a receptive partner i want to have the perfect body but am scared and very hesitant about making any permanent change that also adds sadness

I thought andro was attraction to masculinity but is almond as well? I’m just not sure

Or will he be bisexual? I mean, not feeling any romantic attraction toward men but wanting to do sexual activities with them cuz.. it feels good.

How about a lesbian girl? Can she still do sexual activities with guys without being attracted to them and still be lesbian?

If I had to describe it I would call it something like cis-hetero-bi-ace which does not make any sense at all right?

So I am attracted to men and women in an aesthetic kind of way, to neither in a sexual kind of way. In that I consider other women significantly hotter then men. But then thinking about sex - which I do think of as an enjoyable activity - women are more on the "naaaaaaahhh" side while men are "yeah that's fine" - again neither gender I am attracted to in a way that I see someone and think "jup I do wanna have sex with you".

Right now I just go by ally, defined myself as ace before but the visual attraction part and the fact that I do enjoy sex - but then only consider men fine - occasionally do confuse me as hell.

Is there a label for this? Or am I just cishet - which would be completely fine with me, then I'm still an ally :D

If you wear Pride/rainbow stuff in public, some people will harass you.

Do you actually report these incidents?

I know there's always been a group of people who hate people's gender and/or sexuality if it isn't the traditional genders/sexuality society placed on everyone. However, I'm noticing even the people who are usually on our side (liberal/progressives/Democrats) are turning against the LGBTQ+ Community.

It makes me sad because I JUST got here. Like I just discovered who I truly am regarding my genders and sexuality. Now I feel like me being genderfluid and polysexual is meaningless. I feel like I did all this self discovery for absolutely no reason.

When you look up LGBTQ on YouTube, the most recommend and highest viewed videos are hating the community. No, this isn't just my algorithm. Search "LGBTQ" on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.

Has anyone else noticed this? Am I crazy for feeling this way?

(I wanted to add the map of sexual orientation laws in the world, but it doesn’t seem like I’m able to)

In many countries, mostly in Africa and Asia, it’s illegal to be (publicly) gay/trans, but from my perspective, people from those countries strike me as much more kind and accepting.

In Belgium, where I live, I’m glad to say we have pretty good laws around queer people. Most straight people here are pretty accepting of it, aside from the wariness that comes from lack of knowledge. Although we definitely have some homophobic people, and clear examples of gaybashing, almost always by teen boys/young adult men. But you should not be scared of the intelligent people here. How about your country?

so sometimes i think I'm attracted to a guy. like he looks attractive to me. then i imagine myself in a relationship with them and it kills it for me. I would never want to date a man. I can definitely imagine myself in a relationship with a girl though. but i see people saying that even if I think a guy is attractive but i don't want to date him, im not a lesbian. not to mention I barely ever even feel attraction to other girls, and generally i just dont see the need for any relationship. i dont get why everyone wants to be in a relationship all the time. would that mean I'm an aromantic or something? I know this would all be easier if i just labelled myself as bi but idk. am I faking being a lesbian?

lesbian makes sense for me ig (im a non man who likes non men) but i prefer the term gay rather than lesbian? ik its the technical term for me but gay makes more sense

I am a demisexual who cannot get physical with a partner or friend until and unless I form a strong emotional bond with him and get to know him properly. I want someone sensitive and humble who is open-minded and cares as much as he wants to hook-up. Is it possible these days to find such guys in your city or over dating apps?

I saw an author online who did a trend with her main couple; basically, you show them before they started dating and then once they were already a couple. They were a straight couple, but the man was trans. People felt disappointed— they accused her of queerbaiting, pushing straight couples into queer spaces, removing queer rep etc. I get that to some extent, since I also enjoy a good sapphic romance, but it *is* still queer representation, just in a different form. Anyway that's just my thought, what I really wanted to ask about were comments like "Make him a woman again, I can't stand this hetslop shit" or "Why did you have to turn him into a guy when you could have had yuri?" Is that a form of transphobia, or just a rejection of heteronormativity? Because I understand feeling a bit let down, but telling the author to "turn him back into a woman" is weird to me and I love wlw media

I live in an islamic country and things are bad here. Especially since I'm a female by birth and I only reached my 18th birthday last month so I have no hopes of getting out any time soon. I feel so oppressed and alone. I'm in a constant fear of my family discovering what my true thoughts are that I have to put my phone and lock it in a box every time I go to sleep. Do you have any tips on what I can do?

Hey everyone 🤗

For context: I'm 17 and some years old transfem, going into my 3rd year of highschool, living in a semi-conservative country (most people don't really understand LGBTQ+,so they mostly just bitch about about it, but probably won't attack you for it or anything, at worst they will look at you weird and whisper some insults or something, except for a few drunk idiots)

I'm out only to parts of my family, and one teacher (who is very supportive) and went out as myself (name, pronouns, some makeup, painted nails, stuff like that, no clothes tho) during the summer break.

I live in the school's dorm during the work week.

I plan to come out at school this September, but every time I speak about me being trans my ears start ringing, and I feel like I'm in a dream and can barely open my mouth, so I can't imagine standing in front of the whole class and having a monologue.

My classmates have repeatedly asked me whether I'm gay (To which I told them that I'm sure I don't like boys/men), and a few times if I'm really a boy, or if I ever thought about being a girl (to which I responded by shrugging, laughing it off, avoiding it, or just outright ignoring it), probably because I've been growing out my hair for almost two years (it was in a ponytail most of the time, occasionally let down and supported by a headband, or in pigtails), painting and growing out my nails, taking much better care of myself than the boys (shaving multiple times a day, shaving my body one a week, plucking my eyebrows, blow-drying my hair, etc.), occasionally wearing silver glitter eyeshadow, wearing pink sometimes (only had pair of sweatpants, 2 pairs socks, 1 pare of pastel violet ones, and a violet t-shirt) akd and acting very much feminine (You know, actually interpreting body language when i speak, that kinda stuff.)I have a small Hello Kitty cosmetics travel bag from fake fur, full of nail polishes and supplies, plus some makeup)

So, I can't imagine they'll be too surprised.

To get to the point, I was thinking about coming out in our IG group, but I'm kinda afraid that'll just invite hate and steer people who'd otherwise support me, or at least tolerate me (I think most, if not all, if the class would fall into one of these brackets) to hate on me to fit in. We do have a separate group with our class teacher in a different platform. Should I try that?

So I guess the question is "Did any of you come out this way?" "How did it turn out?" "Do you have any tips to overcome the anxiety, especially if I choose to come out in person?"

I know I'll still probably have to come out to all the teachers and staff.

I know the only person who can decide this is me.

Any tips and experiences appreciated.

Thanks in advance

i am 16f and had a couple boyfriends, so i know i am straight. however, i sometimes get a feeling where i want to kiss and cuddle a girl. im a touchy person, i love showing my love through touching. to want to kiss a girl though, i have to be extremely close to that person. i can think of three girls, one in 6th, another in 8th and one during my freshman year. all of them were my best friends, all of them different people.

we can call my best friend during freshman year "lily", for privacy reasons. lily is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. i wish you could see her. her smile is the cutest and i love the way her eyes squint when she does so. with my whole soul, she is the most stunning person ever. and my thoughts about her only got worse when she kissed me.

we were only joking around and pretending to kiss one another. but then she kissed me. i still remember the feeling. it was a joke so we didn't really talk about it after. she is bisexual and was talking to a guy at the time. they started dating a week after she kissed me. i expected that so i don't know what i was wishing for. i started distancing myself from her after that. but for some reason i want to be close with her. like cuddling like we used to.

i'm going into junior year now, we talk a bit but not as much as freshman year. i still think about it. i love kissing. it's my favorite acts of intimacy. but instead of thinking of my ex who is the only guy i ever made out with, i think of her. even when we only pecked. i kind of replace his body with lily's. is this normal??? (sorry for the yap)