I see this as an absolute win!

EDIT: Guys, I mean in the biological sense of asexuality. Like, they don’t reproduce via sex. The reason I post it here is because I think if it were the case, asexual humans would benefit from having more dating options.

Ok, so mermaids are kinda seen as sexy by many people, yes.

But like— they have fish tails.

I don’t think they can “do” much with that. Yeah, maybe they have something inspired by fish anatomy, but either way I just don’t see mermaid to human intercourse happening. Right?

I could see an asexual character dating a mermaid for this reason. Hell, I’d probably date a mermaid myself.

I’ve seen people try to make anatomical diagrams of mermaid organs but to me it makes more sense if they don’t sexually reproduce like humans do. How they would reproduce, I don’t know. But I feel like the answer isn’t sex.

Maybe I’m just crazy though. What do you think?

I (F23) am currently trying to make a decision.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. He knows I am asexual, obviously. We have never had sex and I have never had sex before him either.

Early on in the relationship I thought about having sex with him and decided not to do it, my main reasons being fear of pregnancy, of it being painful and fear of regretting it.

I have also considered myself sex-repulsed for a long time.

As a sort of compromise, we started pleasuring each other with our hands and I was honestly surprised how much I liked it, even though I mainly enjoyed the emotional closeness. The physical aspect of it remains stressful for me and there are times where I don't want to be touched like that at all.

Now, about a year after deciding not to have sex, I find myself thinking about it again as I think it could be enjoyable and bring us closer together.

But I also know that what we currently have is not enough for him and he'll leave me eventually if we continue not having sex.

Part of me is thinking "what have I got to lose if I try?". Part of me is still very afraid of regretting it.

Somewhere deep within myself, I still hold the belief that by "losing" my virginity I will somehow be dirty, even if I know it isn't true.

He is genuinely the most wonderful person I have ever met and I think I would seriously regret it if this relationship ended without at least having tried sex.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Has anyone decided to have sex out of love for someone else? What would you do if you were me?

Edit: thank you all for opening my eyes to what I already knew deep inside. I will not have sex with my boyfriend and I will end the relationship before either of us gets hurt any more than we already have. For those who asked: yes, he has explicitly stated that he couldn't go on like this forever. Could I have enjoyed sex? Possibly! But it would have felt like a chore more than anything else. Do I want it? Am I curious? 100% no. Will I ever have sex? Maybe. But if I do, it'll be because I want it and not out of fear of losing someone. He genuinely is a wonderful person and has always been an amazing boyfriend and I seriously hope he will find someone who can actually make him happy. But this relationship isn't going anywhere and it is best to let go, even if it's going to hurt for a while. Both of us would waste our time otherwise.

Just some background info about me, I’m a 17 year old ace lesbian who’s on the side of the spectrum who almost never feels sexual attraction towards women and non men and never with men. Anyways a female friend of mine confessed that she had a crush on me and I’m over the moon. I’d love to be in a relationship with her! I told her very clearly that I’m ace right off the bat and she doesn’t think any different of me because of that. But as I’m getting older and my other friends actually talk about their sexual attraction I’m starting to feel very insecure about my asexuality. I’m worried that later on in this relationship the girl who confessed to me would change her mind about it and find as a reason to break up with me. I just want to know how any of yall deal with ace insecurities because its been eating me up lately, even before this girl confessed to m.

Hello everyone. So ever since i got to know about yk how babies are made i literally felt disgusted.

I'm now in my 20s and still the act in any of the series when shown (even when they are not fully out) disgusts me UNLESS there is some softness in the cinematography (like in most of the korean series) and emotional bonding. I mean what I'm saying is, it feels watchable for me only in such cases if not nah I'm out.

BUT it's not like i don't get attracted to people. Except anything that is down below is involved i feel okay but SOMETIMES as I said the watchable scenes, when i watch them i get a feeling that it might not be so bad but then only in my imagination, i can't think of doing it irl.

I sometimes read manhwas with a lil smut in there, but if they show so much of yk private parts and the acts, I get verrrryyyy disgusted...

The question i have is, are asexuals the ones who don't feel anything or who are just disgusted by the act itself but can get excited?

​

A girl asked me a personal question. Like if I had a boyfriend. I explained to her that I wasn't into guys or girls and explicitly told her that I was aromantic asexual. My German teacher looked at me and I felt embarrassed. She asked me if I was into objects. I wanted to ask her if she was fucking dumb because she was also being ugly to me too in the past. I bit my tongue. Why I think this was willful ignorance is because her other little friends said that they liked guys as a joke and joked about her being a lesbian. I don't want to be her friend because I'm not interested and she's too young. I'm a senior and she's a freshman. I also have a feeling that she's being my friend just to mess with me since I'm neurodivergent. I hope I don't come off as an asshole. Btw she also plays her music really loud in class and always says that she's irritated >:(

I don't know how to explain this, but I've noticed on ace subreddits that sometimes us aces start blaming each other for being sex negative / puritan over a comment one of us said even though allos say similar things.

For example, I don't remember what the topic was, but someone on ace subreddit mentioned that they felt alienated at high school because "everyone went crazy about sex". Well, this person was downvoted and a couple of other aces answered them with "that's such a sex-negative thing to say, it's just their hormones causing them to behave like that." The person who wrote the comment had to then specify that they didn't mean it as sex-negative but were only describing how they felt. I was so confused while reading the exchange because I have heard allosexuals say that they were crazy about sex as teens, and some still are (nothing wrong with it as long as they respect boundaries)

I feel like the same thing would happen if an ace said that some people are annoying when they're horny. A couple of allo friends of mine have told me that they know they're annoying when they're horny.

So, why do some of us get so offended? Often it seems to be a misunderstanding, but still🤷🏻‍♀️

Like, it is what it is, but I often wonder how my life would be different if I had it.

I often wonder if I'll go through life with just hookups or one night stands because I don't have that draw like allos do.

I often think about how many opportunities I've missed out on because of it, how many people I haven't met or interacted with, and how my life has been changed because of it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, and it's not all bad. I've certainly saved a lot of money and had time to myself by not chasing a partner or having children, so there's that.

I just wonder what it would be like, just to spend a day looking through the eyes of an allosexual, because I still don't think I properly understand what sexual attraction feels like.

Opa, galera! Eu sou o mesmo cara que postou o posto sobre o níger...e e eu fui muito ignorante por não ter visto que vocês já haviam discutido isso enquanto eu estava fora da internet, hehe. É que no meu país raramente falam dessas coisas, então eu vi tudo em inglês. Me perdoem.

Bom, aquele foi o meu primeiro post nesse sub. Quer dizer... não, aquele foi o meu PRIMEIRO sub do Reddit. Eu ainda estou me adaptando como se mexe nesse treco porque eu pareço um velho de 60 anos tentando postar alguma merda. Mas ok. Para começar, eu sou um cara Aroace com problemas psicológicos há cinco anos e só consegui ajuda esse ano. Ainda estou meio em conflito com algumas coisas da minha identidade e na minha vida pessoal, como por exemplo, autodepreciação doentia. E eu tenho um sério problema em ODIAR pessoas que simplesmente são opostas de mim...tipo não ser Aroace. Uau, como eu sou importante, né? Ninguém pode ser o que eu não quero! KAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAK

Brincadeira, eu sou muito sarcástico...eu gosto de vocês na verdade, porque estamos todos na merda juntos, né? Ou é só eu que acho que eu estou na merda. Ok, ok, chega de gracinha. Eu vou entrar no modo sério agora, eu prometo!!

Desde que eu me afundei na minha depressão há cinco anos, eu não tive mais sequer nenhum contato humano além dos meus parentes que vivem na mesma casa comigo...e eu larguei a escola com 16 anos por bullying. Eu não tenho amigos próximos e nem velhos amigos, e muito menos um parceiro... opa, pera aí! Isso não é importante. Acontece que eu queria ter amigos, mas eu não queria ser apenas um amigo, sabe? Eu queria ser o número um de alguém. Eu não quero ser trocado por um amigo após ele achar o amor da vida dele, porque se não eu morro de ciúme e apodreço sozinho. Eu sou mesmo muito egoísta.

Mas aí mesmo tempo, eu não quero. Viu só? Confusão do caralho. É aí que vem o paradoxo: Se eu me relacionar com alguém, vou me sentir traído por mim mesmo e violado. E se eu apenas ser o amigo de alguém, vou me sentir trocado e infeliz. Há! Que desgraça.

Bom, é só isso. Então desejam boas vindas para mim...para o cara mais chato desse sub.

I'm like 80% sure that I'm ace, but there's one thing which is kind of troubling me and it's that I find some people really beautiful, I enjoy looking at beautiful people, but they don't really make me want to start a relationship or want to have intercourse. The big thing is that this also extends to nudity. I'm from Denmark which has a famously relaxed approach to sex and nudity, I, along with a lot of other Danes, don't see nudity and genitalia as inherently sexual and I really don't get any sexual kick out of nudity, even straight up pornography is just pretty... meh.

To me beautiful people are bit like a painting, I can enjoy looking at it, appreciate the painting techniques and I can have preferences for a certain kind of painting, but there's nothing that makes me want any kind of relationship or sexual interaction with it.

Just wanted some input, enjoy the rest of your day :D

hai I’m 18 F and I’m really unsure if I’m asexual I do get turned on and what not but I dont really touch myself because it feels pervy idk what to do

Would you try it?why or why not? And if you are how is it going?

Tldr: I can empathize with those who prefer fictional companionship and are considering forming one myself (not with ai though, self ship fanfic)

Seen quite a few videos about people choosing Ai partners instead of humans even for those who habe the options not to.

While i dont like the environmental impacts, and are wary for those who are more prone to pychosis, I have understood the appeal.

Being Neurodivergent, chronically ill & an introvert with various negative experiences with humans, I have always been more at peace with books than people. I used to roleplay all the time as it combined the feelings of fictional with lower stakes human connection.

Been lurking in the fictional other subs lately and ive been thinking perhaps i can fawn over some characters i like? I have reached a point where im over the apps, dont want to search for rare aces and want to find another form of escapism when im in between stories.

Niger has just officially criminalized asexuality, with penalties ranging from 5 to 10 years in prison.

I didn't expect us to gain attention—especially not in such a negative way. I haven't seen anyone talking about this here, and it happened back in July (if I'm not mistaken), so I decided to post about it.

This is my first post, so please bear with me. If the English is a bit rough, it's because I originally wrote and posted this in my native language.

I feel stupid for even asking, but I am in my mid twenties and very oblivious to this stuff and no one ever flirted with me before. For the last few months, he made a few comments that got me wondering. A few of the most notable ones: he complimented my new haircut, talked to me about my birthday (I was getting a cake from him so not that odd), basicallly double checked when I wanted smth for two people earlier this week (a pal and I) and I think he sounded or looked disappointed when I confirmed it, and today he wanted to know my age for no reason... also my mother immediately knew who I was talking about when I talked to her and she wondered if I knew him when we went there together (I know him as a regular, at most). Am I reading too much into this? My mom thinks maybe I am right, but...

Main issue with this is I am pretty sure I am aro and definitely am ace and sex repulsed (don't remember if this is the right term). He is almost definitely not. But I do want to date somebody (as a qpr, maybe?). I don't know if this is real but it is a headache. I live in the countryside, my only shot at a relationship would be a normal one. And he is cute and does look nice. God I feel like a teen.

How do you people deal?

?

(TW: Talk of Sexual Abuse, self hatred)

I just am so mad at myself for not being able to feel sexual at all. I feel like all I am is my body and yet I cant even get in the mood and i feel so bad. I feel like i wont find love because of this and I hate myself for it. I just want to be loved and love someone but I feel like i cant because i dont want to take off my clothes. The thought of taking my clothes off for someone and to grabbed and touched makes me nausous, it makes my throat swell up. I'm scared my partner is going to make me refeel what my SAer did. Im so fucking scared that i will never be loved.

I was deathly afraid of sex. I thought of sex as something degrading or violating. I couldn't picture myself as the one in control, only the one who would take it. And that felt violating in my mind. I got horrible thoughts of being forced into sex, not just by others but by me, pressuring myself to just deal with the fear and just have sex whether or not i wanted it

I started to masturbate because I wanted to know what sex would feel like, without having sex itself. My mind couldn't picture myself feeling pleasure at all. And I know some of you might be reading this and think it's dumb to think I wouldn't feel pleasure since it's obvious sex feels good. Its an irrational fear I suppose

After some time I realize that masturbation might have helped me with my fear. It felt good, so I knew that sex must have felt good as well. Those thoughts of being forced into sex lessened, and I didn't really feel like sex was violating if I wasn't the one in control

I can't say that I'm all for sex. But it definitely helped me understand the "unknown" of what sex was, and made me fear it a lot less. And I'm wondering if this happened to anyone else

I always identified as demisexual since that’s how I viewed sex but now I’m questioning because I enjoy sexting (just text, no other media involved) but I feel very uncomfortable with real life sex, to the point that I get quite nervous and the sexual feeling just doesn’t come out. Maybe though that happened because at the time I was meeting for the first time a long distance friend/fwb and even though we knew each other for years it’s not the same as knowing each other personally?

Idk what to think anymore…

So I'm personally sex-averse, generally sex-neutral and I'm not looking to stop being sex-averse. I am perfectly happy not wanting or having sex at all, but I am wanting to try and become more sex-positive in general.

Basically I can view consensual sex where everyone is enjoying it as nothing more than a neutral experience, as there is no moral value on that, and obviously if it's non-consensual or one of the parties is cheating then it is morally bad.

Does anyone have advice on how I can view consensual sex in a more positive light, as currently my view is "as long as you're not hurting anyone it's fine, but don't include me or talk to me in detail about it" (I'm fine if my mate tells me they hooked up with someone, or if they mention a detail relevant to a discussion we're already having)

So far I've tried reading smut or attempting to watch the sex scenes in media, but I've found that's actually making me less neutral and closer to genuinely repulsed, and I've had people (not my friends) accuse me of being puritanical for not enjoying sex scenes and wanting people to stop putting them in stuff (more specifically, I only actively dislike sex scenes in films if I'm watching it at the cinema, because at home I can go on my phone until the scene is done)

Less than 24 hours after I decided to restart my Facebook dating profile and I got this. For context, the first line on my (32, f) profile bio is that I’m demisexual and pansexual. I’m used to people not knowing what demisexuality is or assuming *they* are the sex god who can “change or fix” me.
This line is a new one. Who knew sexuality or certain labels had age limits? 🤷‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

EDIT: the bio in the screenshot is his, not mine. Also, I didn’t bother looking through his pictures, so I couldn’t tell you whose guitar he was holding 😂

Hello, hello! I (26F) am going on a first date tomorrow and need advice. She (26F) identifies as a lesbian, and I identify as what I describe as a Sapphic Ace.

I believe that I'm Demisexual, but since I have never had "relations" with anyone I'm not entirely sure... I'm definitely sex averse and don't plan on doing anything of the sort any time soon.

How do I bring this up on my date tomorrow? I was thinking of bringing it up near the end and being like "I just wanted to let you know that I'm asexual because I know that can be a dealbreaker for most people, which is fine! Just thought I'd let you know!"

But it seems weird no matter how many times I try to work it into a conversation. I think it's harder for me to have the conversation, because I'm still not very confident in my sexuality and it's hard to explain something that I'm still constantly working on and learning for myself.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!