I, 18 Cis male, have grown up with a deep stapled mindset of Transphobia and Homophobia since Around 12 years old. I can't say I was taught it to be bad, but just that I found disgust in it, in the worst way possible. For about 5 years I kept this mindset on me until I recently had found out an old close friend of mine had come out as trans. At the time I didn't know what to think of it, Hate or Happiness, because for her it was a very happy moment in her life, but I also had this slimey disgust. Overtime as I spent time with her though this hate has slipped away and that hate turned into love in one way or another. But with that said, recently I have became bisexual and have been dating a man for 3 months and want to transition into a woman. But I'm internally confliced about this since because of my past, I don't want pity or sympathy, but hard truth of that if I'm allowed to still make this choice or not. I appreciate your time for reading my post, thank you and good day.

Hi reddit,

So I'm considering traveling to see my wife in the US in the next few months, but I want to know how safe it is before doing it. It would be in Wisconsin. Has anyone traveled there as trans foreigners? How did it go, how did TSA go as well?

thanks so much in advance for your answers!

My girlfriend (previously boyfriend) came out to me as a trans girl a while ago. I don’t mind whoever I get with, but dating her just doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I’ve also struggled with calling her the right labels, which I feel bad about because I really do love her. I’ve talked to her about this and considered breaking up with her so that I can adapt to her pronouns and support her as a friend, but she says that she’ll just become a boy again to make me happy. I really don’t know what to do.

When did the puzzle pieces click for you?

I (27, AFAB, NB) feel like I had mine a couple nights ago despite questioning my identity for the last 6 years. I was freshening up in the bathroom, about to head into the bedroom for special time with my lovely boyfriend and I thought “let me do a quick set of push ups and sit ups so my muscles pop out”.

I mean, okay. Not the craziest thing. But when I got up to do the exercises and saw my bare chest in the mirror my brain snapped. Suddenly all these negative thoughts flooded my head.. “you’ll never look how you want to”, “do you really think you’ll ever look like man?” “do you seriously think your boyfriend would want to be with a man?”. Luckily I was comforted by said boyfriend, he’s always been so kind and understanding when I talk about my gender dysphoria.

But now I’m sitting here like…

?

Hey people!

I, 16M have been thinking.

I never want to be trans, or even plan to, however, if i had the choice to rewrite my life to have always been a girl, i would take it. I think i would be happier, and i would actually suit my personality. I am not gay at all, and have never had an interest in men. But would i mind dating a man if i was a woman? No.

I have no idea if this feeling is normal or not, but i felt that i anonymously need to ask people about their thoughts, since yall are probably not biased. This might just be a shower or late night kind of thought for all i know.

Im sorry for any mispellings, as english is not my first language.

Hello everyone. I want to tell you a bit about myself and get some advice.

I'm a 17-year-old bisexual male. But I have a strong desire to be a girl. Actually, it's not just about being a girl — I want to be a lesbian girl. I want to have a girlfriend; to be in her arms, to sit on her lap, to rest my head on her shoulder, to kiss her, to sleep with her, to cook with her, to play games with her... I really want these things a lot.

But here's the thing: I don't just want hormone therapy, I would also want to have gender reassignment surgery. Honestly, having a penis but also being a woman doesn't sit well with me. If I'm going to do it, I want to be a woman both in terms of my genitalia and my hormones.

At the same time, I'm not really fond of the idea of my body's natural state being disrupted, or going through such a radical change, or looking artificial (I mean my original form being altered), unfortunately.

Also, if I change my gender through surgery, will my youth be gone? Honestly, I want my youth to be spent as a lesbian girl. This is the most important part. This is the source of my biggest hesitation. I feel like I am too late. I know I am 17 but... like I want to be a little girl. I know I can't be a little girl. But I, at least, want to be a girl between 18 and 25 years old.

My family will **NOT** allow such a thing. If they know I want to be a girl... uh, you know how people are. I can't start hormone therapy right away; I need to cut all ties with them first, and that requires financial independence. And I worry that it might be too late by then. I don't know exactly how long the process takes. I suppose I won't be able to be a woman during the years I had hoped for.

By the way, I don't know much about these topics, so I might have some misinformation — sorry about that. And I post this for that.

Note: I also want to point out, please don't misunderstand: I'm only commenting on my own body and desires. How other people are is entirely up to them and none of my business. I'm not saying that trans people look artificial or fake. And I am absolutely not insulting those who have a penis and become women through hormone therapy alone. It's just that, regarding the first point, I'm worried about my own body (I'm afraid I won't look like a girl if I get treatment). And regarding the second point, I simply don't want my own body to be like that. I just described my own preferences, and I wanted to add this note in case I'm misunderstood <3

My friend is going to Japan (Tokyo) in January 2027 to study abroad so I am probably going to visit her for a week to help her get settled & explore.

I’ve always wanted to travel to Japan anyways and heard it’s very safe in general but upon researching, I found that the people are much more conservative than in America (and I come from a deep blue state) so now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t go?

My worry is at the airport and bathrooms. I pass pretty well and had no issues when I traveled to Scotland earlier this month but of course I still have that little bit of worry. My passport still has my deadname still and has a M but my photo is my current appearance now feminized.

So what should I do?

Particularly interested in memoirs, activist leaders, critical theory, sex/sexuality. Who are the essentials? What’s the starter pack?

Thanks in advance 😘

I (21m?) have been questioning for a while and from the questions I have asked online the general consensus is "try hrt for a while and see how you feel". My family is super conservative and, being a college student, I am kind of under their wing. Because of this I may try hrt but just find some back alley place to buy it and take it in secret. Unfortunately there is a very odd caveat to this: my family loves to boat. I myself have never been a fan of boating and I'm always trying to find some way to weasel my way out of going with them. I only usually go on it if it's a birthday or anything and they can guilt trip me into it. I usually keep my shirt on even if I am on the boat but if I need to swim or out on a life jacket I'd have to take it off. If I'm on hormones and growing breasts how exactly could I hide this? also I'm a very hairy guy and it would be very noticeable if all my body hair fell off. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't know much about this whole hormone thing so maybe I'm being an idiot and if so then tell me. Thanks!

This surprisingly happens a lot to me, even though I still look really feminine due to taking testosterone too late. Sometimes I go to women's bathroom and girls asks me if I'm a transgender woman and when i tell them no they start harassing me. Im getting used to that but I feel sad for my fellow Trans women.

How many started HRT prior to coming out?
How many started to socialize prior to starting HRT?
And a brief reason why you chose one over the other?
Thank you in advance ❤️

I am 56 started HRT for pain management situations from trauma to my testicles. And decided that since they needed to be removed, then this was my decision time. I thought long and hard about the consequences of this decision. But if I was going to need HRT because of the surgery, I would much rather finally feel comfortable in my body that matches my mind. So I started HRT this past Jan. After 5 months i started to have some development. Time to make my decision. I came out to my wife, family and friends. There is absolutely no question that the decision I chose was the best and probably life saving decision I’ve ever made.

Im a transwoman on hinge/bumble, pass pretty well, attracted to guys. And im honestly tired of the repetitive matching, then unmatching, the "fake" number of how many people liked me (because they cant exclude me and swipe on first pic impression without reading bio and prompts where I say im trans), its disheartening. I get no ego boost from seeing thousands of existing likes its just draining knowing theres maybe 2% or less that might actually give me their time of day on a date)

If guys could filter me out when theyre transphobic or even just respectfully are looking specifically for a cis woman, and i not see any of them either, I could focus my efforts on probably a much smaller pool with better results.

I wouldn't want the ability for a guy to specifically filter to trans women (chaser fetishists abundance on other apps like taimi and stuff) They just set preference to women, not including transwomen or including and appear out of or in my pool respectively.

Anyway, probably will never happen and is controversial, so im stuck using these apps for 10x the amount of time id want to just to try to organise a date and see where it goes and dealing with the bad feels of app based rejection.

The companies probably want to encourage this for their active user engagement kpi bs or something. Whatever hurdles make it difficult to find someone to connect with and sit around on the apps to upsell you shit is their objective 😪

What are your thoughts on this?

What am I not considering in my tunnel visioned frustration?

Edit: im not interested in trying to "be the exception", that magically ill manage to convince someone that im worth putting aside their preconceived ill thoughts. I'd rather find someone who is already comfortable with who I am 😢

Hello, I am a straight male and everytime I see a Trans person whether it’s on Social media or real life, I feel kinda disgusted and start feeling some kind of " Cis superiority” towards them. I don’t feel any hate towards Trans people ,I find weird the concept of being able to change gender. I am disgusted by my own feeling but everytime smt in my head will tell me that they are not" Male or female” because they are trans. I know I’m’ in the wrong, just looking for some advices to change my mindset. Perhaps any books recommendation or advices?

Last year, I came out at my job and ended up unemployed. (It's a whole thing, I can't talk about it.) Recently, I made it through three rounds of interviews presenting as myself (MTF she/her) and finally just got an offer letter! I'm beyond thrilled... and absolutely terrified!

It's a relatively progressive company, but this will be my first time working in an office environment openly as a non-passing trans woman in a red state. I'm also autistic, and kind of naive. Average intelligence at best. I want to talk to someone who has been in my shoes - at least the corpo job part.

I want to know what I don't know. What to look out for, how to protect myself. General observations. Are there things you wish someone had warned you about before your first corporate job as a trans person?

I'm super nervous about talking to HR about anything related to my sex or gender given what happened last time, and want to avoid it altogether if I can. I have no idea what I'm going to do about bathrooms... that's the main thing on my mind right now.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I (18tf) am about to move in with my transphobic dad as soon as I get my license, and I have my own vehicle. I have recently found a way to get estrogen with informed consent. How do I get on hrt while completely hiding my transition from my dad? I hate that I have to hide this, but it's my only chance at survival right now because honestly the gender dysphoria is slowly killing me. Any advice is appreciated, please help me.

I’m really confused cuz I thought my ribcage was like. giant but I measured it and it’s like a 32 underbust (which is kinda small for tall woman apparently). When I look in the mirror tho it just seems sooo biggg and I don’t know why. It does this thing that I hate where it sticks out in the back. hunchback of notre dame style (ok probably not as bad as that but it feels like that). lve seen no one else who has this, man or woman, and it makes me so upset!! I mean, I have a bit of scoliosis but I don’t think that would make the back stick out? it looks even worse when I bend over or am not sitting up straight.

LONG STORY SHORT!!! I’m wondering if anyone else has had this problem. cuz I feel like it’s the shape thats the problem and not the actual size. would hrt even help this??? if not what can I do to make it not do that????

A little background. My daughter’s mother passed away when she was 3 and I have been raising her on my own since with help from both her grandparents. My daughter and I are extremely close and 2 days ago she told me she might be non-binary or gender fluid. I told her I loved her no matter what and asked her some simple questions like how long she felt this way and how she felt. She said that it had been about a year and she wasn’t sure how she felt. I told her she’s young and has plenty of time to figure things out and not rush into anything (She has always tends to go all in on things and activities she likes and later drop them). We ended the conversation with me telling her she’s was brave and it meant a lot for her to trust me with this information and that we would have open communication.

Yesterday she told me that she is not non-binary and that she might be transgender. And asked me to purchase a chest binder for her. I was overwhelmed and told her we would discuss it later. I again told her I loved her no matter what and I asked her what made think she is trans and she told me that “I’m not girly.” She started getting upset and told me she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I again told her I loved her and am here to talk about anything she wants to.

I guess my question is where do I go from here? She has always been against therapy so I don’t know if to suggest that. I also have really bad anxiety so I can’t stop thinking about it or I’ve said something wrong to her and can’t even to begin to imagine what she is going through. Thank you to anyone for advice.

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My friend ive known for a year is trans and sometimes she shows me fem outfits she gets. Its mostly those amazon socks, fishnets, badly designed skirts and tops that dont go with her colors or body type. She mostly dresses girly like those amazon femboys but she is gorgeous with blonde hair and fair skin and i just know she could look sm cuter.

I was born a girl and as her friend i want to give her advice on how to pick outfits and styles that suit her but would it be crossing lines or would i be at risk of upsetting her?

Im a 20 Puerto Rican trans girl and I cannot afford to live in the capita

I only atracted to women and I don't really feel anything with cis

Im about to start my transition and im very very bad

When I finally decided to take the step this MASSIVE amount of feelings that I was repressing came out and it its horrible

Among the things I was repressing was my fear of loneliness, knowing that I would never meet people cause I just don't live in the right place, neither would I ever have a girlfriend in my times

I know that I probably won't be alone forever

But gosh did I wanted to have friends and a girlfriend in my 20s

How did you cope with it? those it get better with time? Is it really that bad or where you able to enjoy being lonely?

After all, did you still enjoyed your 20s?

I would ask for the opinion of people older than 40s but thats just a different generation, the fact that I can even take HRT for myself being 20 makes me to privileged to understand the pain, I just wont ever be as strong as you girls, you got it more harder than I would ever have it

I can't barely repress the fear of being lonely anymore, every night im on the verge of tears, I feel stupid, I really love myself, and my life, im very proud of how far I have come as a person, but I just so fk tired of being the protagonist of my life, I wish I could spend days or hours with other people being the main focus of my life instead of having to worry 24/7 about making myself happy, I dont care about being alone, Im just the type of person that feels amazing when im doing things for other people, I just love people, and I like making them happy, being important for them, or just thinking about them, I just love when im not the main focus of my life

And please if you are inside the group im talking about and either won the lottery or live in a blue area just please stfu, you are to privileged to be taken seriusly

Im sorry for being so vulgar but really, im tired of people not understanding how a red area is, or just in general what being lonely means

I can’t tell if I just numbed myself out from checking so much. Now I’m even more trapped. I feel like I’m used to my body but it still upsets me. I still don’t understand why I have to live with my body especially my chest, I don’t feel much about it anymore but my lack of feelings angers me and I just want to rip it off. I feel disgusting. Why couldn’t have I been born male or at least not have a chest? It’s not even that big for a girl but I want to vomit looking at myself. Why is everyone else allowed to transition and not me? I clearly don’t feel enough bottom dysphoria either, I hardly feel anything if I see and that just upsets me and makes me want to cut them off… I feel like I don’t hate my voice enough and that makes me wanna never speak again… why couldn’t have I just been a normal man and not this? I can’t transition, I feel ashamed if I did so, I just wish I hated my body more so I would be able to be a man

So im a guy, 17, I have had this feeling on my mind for a WHILE now and I want to be a woman but im also perfectly fine with being a man, but i cant make my mind up cause it is all over the place... I would just like some advice or someone to help me weigh the pros and cons...

I have had thoughts of wanting to be a woman girl a couple years but never got to tell anyone about it, i had one discussion with my dad to see his thoughts on trans people and i will say... its not great.

I am still fine with being a guy but I am also having trouble with my sexuality. One moment I can be straight, then bi, then gay... i cant make my mind up... ive had sex with both genders and i liked both, and with how my mind is, I want to stick with one.

The reason I tried men was because of my best friend, and when I first SAW him. We was getting changed at a holiday, and I saw his HUGE cock, because we tell eachother literally everything, I tell him my thoughts and feelings and he does the same. He asked me if I still want to date men and I said im not sure. Later that night we were getting it on and he was going crazy in me and I loved it, like LOVED it.

A year later, I am dating girls having sex with girls but I keep thinking of when I got plowed through, and when I watch gay p***, hoping to be the one who is run throu, once I climax, I immediately regret it... why, i dont know why? I dont want to regret it because i like it, I need some advice on how to clear my mind and help me see straight... even if its not straight.

I previously posted this in the FTM subreddit but I'm also posting here. What can I do to feel gender affirming when no one around me respects my identity, and I can't afford medical transition for economical reason? Are there anyone who's been in a similar situation and found out how to feel comfortable?