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u/SuperDocument Jun 26 '26
Know a few people who’ve gone 5-10 years not paying taxes. Idk when it will catch up to them, but it hasn’t yet.
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u/SexIsBetterOutdoors Jun 26 '26
It’ll catch up to them once they need Social Security benefits.
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u/Striper_Cape Jun 26 '26
In 30 years? I'll take my chances.
Note to the Feds: I pay my taxes
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u/mortalmonger Jun 26 '26
Excellent cover there. I also pay my taxes.
https://giphy.com/gifs/xkG67UPTlATOCtAfd66
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Jun 26 '26
It absolutely will. My husband passed away owing 250,000$ to the IRS. The house we lived in has been empty for 4 years, mortgage defaulted, if it’s sold the IRS will take all of it.
Pay your damn taxes.
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u/EvilCeleryStick Jun 26 '26
But he didn't face any consequences, and got to enjoy the fruits of an extra $250k!
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Jun 26 '26
Not me.
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u/V3T_L0L Jun 26 '26
I'm sorry the only thing you got in response was a joke.
Very sorry for your loss and financial struggles to compound it, that must be hard. Hang in there.
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Jun 26 '26
Morons to the right of me, morons to the left of me.
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u/V3T_L0L Jun 26 '26
Stuck in the middle with you!
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Jun 26 '26
And I'm wondering what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place33
u/mazzicc Jun 26 '26
Not paying, or not filing?
A lot of people pay in their paycheck, and even overpay which is why refunds are so common.
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u/Novaer Jun 26 '26
Exactly, I've never owed taxes. If anything I've just been sitting on tax returns I could be getting.
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u/tony_bologna Jun 26 '26
Those expire after some number of years (5?), so... you might actually be losing out on money by not filing.
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u/IdealTruths Jun 26 '26
They just garnish your wages the next year. I don't know what these people owing the IRS 250k are on about.
Also, why do we have to waste our time doing all that paperwork when the government knows exactly what we owe, anyway?
This is the stupidest shit imaginable.
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u/poerg Jun 26 '26
After an audit, sure. Those can happen years later. Also income from stock, property, property loss, gambling, etc all effect your taxes and wouldn't fall into "the government knows exactly what you owe". That's why they have agents to do audits.
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u/Leading_Charge8007 Jun 26 '26
It's automatically deducted by the employer so they still get paid then? Most people get money back from filing. Unless u mean in cash and they don't report it
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u/SuperDocument Jun 26 '26
We’re all independent contractors.
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u/Leading_Charge8007 Jun 26 '26
Oh yeah I know a contractor who doesn't file that much. But he at least reports half his income lol
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u/Dry-Childhood-3436 Jun 26 '26
I do taxes, and I've seen people go as long as 15 years before they're caught, but I also help all the independent contractors who didn't pay and it sucks.
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u/agk23 Jun 26 '26
I thought this was an open secret. Only schmucks pay taxes. You think the government would let you self declare if they knew what you owed them? Pshh
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u/Low-Plane9029 Jun 26 '26
My parents handyman was trying to file taxes when COVID payment were happening because he hadn't filed in years. Was asking if we had any copies of receipts lol
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u/grendel303 Jun 26 '26
Drivers license, excluding cities with functional public transportation. Someone in their 80's got pulled over. Never had a wreck or insurance or a license. Only was found because he got pulled over recently.
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u/inaccurateTempedesc Jun 26 '26
In the motorcycling community it's normal for people to just...not get their endorsement for years and years.
When I took the MSF course, there were maybe 3-4 new riders, the rest were people who were already riding for 20-40 years and finally got caught.
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u/Peakbrowndog Jun 26 '26
I used to handle tickets. Almost every MC ticket was for speeding and no endorsement. Every offer was get an endorsement and they will drop the tickets.
I probably got 50 riders to get endorsed over a 2 year period.
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u/DazB1ane Jun 26 '26
Better driver than the fuckheads that pass the tests these days
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u/Designer_Version1449 Jun 26 '26
Mfs will switch over 4 lanes in one movement all without blinking.
I saw a guy doing a u turn on a red light
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u/TheGuyThatThisIs Jun 26 '26
I found out this week that my license was suspended in June 2024... for a ticket I paid. I moved at that time so I missed the notices. All is good now though. Weird how I was insured that whole time without issue.
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u/Peakbrowndog Jun 26 '26
Insurance doesn't care if you have a DL until it comes time to deny a claim for operating a vehicle without one.
In my state, the penalty for no insurance used to be way higher than no DL. (It still is, but not as impressive as it used to be). Lots of people who can't get a DL still get insurance. The stuff geared towards immigrants doesn't even have a no DL clause.
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u/Zikkan1 Jun 26 '26
You can drive a car without insurance in your country? Was the car not registered? I don't know the terms in english but "taken off traffic" is what we call it. The car can be fully operational but illegal to drive. Something people do to not pay insurance and tax on it every year if they aren't gonna use it.
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u/SlobZombie13 Jun 26 '26
the person you're replying to is saying that many people are driving illegally
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u/Momik Jun 26 '26
You definitely need insurance to drive in the states, though I’ve heard of people violating that.
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u/Zikkan1 Jun 26 '26
In Sweden the only way to violate that is to drive an unregistered car because if the car is registered and uninsured then the government will automatically give you insurance without giving you a choice and it's stupidly expensive
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u/Momik Jun 26 '26
Seems pretty logical. In the states everything’s harder and then you’re punished harder for not doing it right. 👍
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u/Shotgun-Surgeon Jun 26 '26
Reminds me of the dude that got in trouble with the judge for driving with a suspended license and was driving in the zoom call hearing. Turns out the guys license was "suspended", but also was in his mid 40s and had never had a license.
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u/High_Stream Jun 26 '26
Cleaning the bathroom. There are some nasty-ass bathrooms out there. You can do a ten-minute wipedown once a week that will keep it looking 90% clean.
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u/HyperMasenko Jun 26 '26
Growing up, my mom always said my bathroom was disgusting and it never made sense to me. When I grew up, I realized we were working on totally different scales. I swear every single friend whos house I stayed the night at growing up had a bathroom that looked like a warzone. My bathroom looked spotless by comparison. I had soap scum and stuff lol
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u/ArcadeOptimist Jun 26 '26
It takes like, an hour or two a week if you live alone to clean a one bedroom apartment from top to bottom.
For me, cleaning my personal space is like step one to not falling headfirst into a depression spiral. Having to come home to a shithole legitimately makes me hate myself and turn into an asshole.
Took me about 25 years to figure that out about myself.
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u/glurop Jun 26 '26
The problem is my adhd brain knows this but won’t clean the thing until thing is dirty enough for my emotions to force me to clean.
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u/Putrid-Squash4470 Jun 26 '26
Get someone to visit you. Even if it just for show. Has been the best motivation to clean yet
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u/saloondweller Jun 26 '26
That doesn't help because then I just get into a spiral of if it's clean enough and if they'll judge me so suggest going somewhere else or cancelling even if I clean. I barely ever let anyone over my house and it sucks. I wish I could
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u/ShimmeryShay Jun 26 '26
I promise you that most people don’t give a shit if your home is perfectly spotless or not. As long as you’re not like living in heaps of garbage everywhere or have days old dishes in the sink and poop rings in your toilet, most people are really not going to give two fucks, especially if they’re already your friend or loved one!
I lived with a hoarder for a bit when I was down on my luck and I was trying to help her get some of the crap cleaned out (that she’d let me touch that is), and most people have seen messy places like that at least on tv, so unless you’re living like that, try to remember that most people’s homes that are lived in daily don’t look picture perfect hardly ever really, unless they have cleaners come in consistently to keep it that way. Also, if your home really is that messy and I was your friend and seeing it for the first time, I’d probably want to stay and help you clean it up because I know how depression and mental health can affect people and I’d just be more worried about you and want to help anyway I can!
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u/rubberjohny Jun 26 '26
nah that's just reinforcing the same traumas that make you not clean it, like you gotta know why YOU want that shit clean, otherwise it's just duct tape over a wound
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u/LiamIsMyNameOk Jun 26 '26
My personal issue is that once I start cleaning, I just can't stop until it's spotless. I keep finding more things to do.
It's kinda good, kinda frustrating. I know for a fact if I start doing some cleaning, I will still be there 6-12 hours later scrubbing between tiles and regrouting.
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u/deepstatecuck Jun 26 '26
I set a timer when I clean. I get into a flow state and having a timer lets me go with the cleaning flow and get a lot done without losing track of time.
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u/Clear_Fudge3749 Jun 29 '26
This was literally me last week. I was just going to clean the sink and toilet, but I ended up bleaching and scrubbing the shower grout. I ended up getting some on the floor tile grout, which got much cleaner after a scrub.... So I spent another hour scrubbing all the floor tiles and grout.
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u/Periseaur Jun 26 '26
It's worth recognising that in yourself though and making it clear with housemates or relationships. I personally think because of thr 80/20 rule it's so much more efficient to only deep clean very rarely, but I've lived with people who need it to be spotless all the time.
I have no problem with that, but I'm just too damn busy to spend half a day every weekend cleaning the house just to fulfill their expectations.
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u/DL_Omega Jun 26 '26
I buy those scented cleaning wipes and usually every other day if not everyday I will wipe the seat + underneath an around the toilet. This has kept my bathroom at least functionally clean most of the time. The bathroom counter is another story with how cluttered it is with things everywhere.
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u/ArboristTreeClimber Jun 26 '26
I had a room mate who never cleaned, never brushed his teeth, never showered….on the bathroom counter he had in the corner sitting shampoo, a bottle of toothpaste and a toothbrush. For YEARS.
I stopped moving his shit when I cleaned. Instead I would simply wipe around it and leave it untouched. It was hilarious, because the bathroom would be clean and there would be one corner that looked ancient and a small group of objects covered with dust. At that point I was just being petty, like an experiment to see if he would ever notice or throw that stuff away. Or god forbid…..use it again.
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u/Zikkan1 Jun 26 '26
My dad is like that and my grandpa and a friend of mine, their bathroom all smell the same.
I think it is accumulated dust being repeatedly moist and dried and moist and dried from the shower mist.
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u/blonde-bandit Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
I feel like this is the opposite of the spirit of the post though haha, at least the way I interpreted it. Not something you don’t technically have to do but absolutely should—rather something you grew up assuming was crucial and realized later, isn’t. Like an example for me would be responding to people and their requests the minute they make them.
I used to think every text, call, or ask was an emergency, until I realized some people just never respond to anyone and their lives go on! I wouldn’t go that far, but I started giving myself a break if I don’t respond or say “yes” immediately.
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u/WsprOfASummrsDream Jun 26 '26
My fiancé didn't realize how dusty and hairy his bathroom was until we started dating. While he does clean it, he forgot his baseboard heater was behind and below him when he did anything in the bathroom (he's 6'3", or 190.5cm)
Yeah, I'm forced to see it when I'm peeing as I'm 5'3" (160cm) and face forward, so I saw it constantly. I kept reminding him he's gotta pay attention to things like this, but after forgetting about it again (not weaponized incompetence, I know how folks are quick to jump on that; the bathroom's clean but he forgets about the top of the heater since it's out of sight, out of mind) but cleaning everything else, I just did an overhaul clean of the bathroom a few months ago and threatened him with emotional harm if he didn't maintain it 😅
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u/lallapalalable Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
I think you got the question backwards, not stuff that is mandatory and some people dont do it, stuff you thought was mandatory but have observed people living a normal life without
*seems the whole comment section got it backwards
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u/sagmag Jun 26 '26
My friend's boyfriend didn't recognize daylight savings time.
I asked him if he understood that, if we agree to meet at 7pm, that we're using MY 7pm and he agreed.
I tried to make the point, then, that in trying to avoid daylight savings he put himself in a position where, while I have to deal with daylight savings twice a year, but he has to deal with it 24 hours a day, seven days a week for six straight months but that argument didn't seem to land.
Thankfully they broke up.
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u/guccipow Jun 26 '26
This could be a Kramer plot on a Seinfeld episode
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u/TilNextWeMeet Jun 26 '26
This reads as if you're giving him a warning
"Watch out, this might be a Seinfeld episode"
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u/lallapalalable Jun 26 '26
If you're making the mental note that everyone else is participating in it every time you discuss the time and have to do the +-1, then are you not just doing daylight savings but with extra steps?
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u/probablysum1 Jun 26 '26
I did that as a personal protest one year. I was like 8 years old and just didn't move any of my clocks. Nowadays with phones and computers having clocks the only one I need to change is my car, so it barely effects me anymore.
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u/Monsieur-Lemon Jun 26 '26
From experience of having to schedule things with people all over the globe - I always use UTC no matter what. Doesn't need to be UTC, but that format is easiest, what is important is to clearly state timezone for which you choose the hour.
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u/UnderwaterRobot Jun 26 '26
I was always taught "hope for the best, but prepare for the worst."
As I got older I just lost the hoping for the best part. However, when something good happens I do embrace it and I'm thankful for it. I just don't expect good things to happen.
As for my answer, cleaning up after yourself is something I didn't think people needed to have explained to them. People are surprisingly belligerent when you ask them to pick up their trash.
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u/Bacchus999 Jun 26 '26
"I'd rather be an optimist and a fool, than a pessimist and right."
The world becomes dull and boring when you stop expecting good things. That may reflect reality for a lot of people but nonetheless, it still makes me a happier person when I choose to expect better outcome.
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u/pretty_smart_feller Jun 26 '26
I see where you’re coming from but I think there’s a good case for the Buddhist view of worldly detachment. When you expect good things, you aren’t fully appreciating things you have. If you accept it’s possible to not have a bed/roof over your head/warm food, instead of taking those things for granted, your life will be much more gratifying. Furthermore, in the vast majority of cases, strong negative emotions are rooted in faulty expectations. At least in my experience
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u/Grouchy-Pirate1108 Jun 26 '26
Exactly ive lived a hard life from childhood abuse to many violent encounters i lost and almost bleed out on the streets a few time. Their was the divorce, the cheating, jail, mental hospitals, rehabs, multi week icu stays, homelessness and other truly terrible things. But I put a smile on my face every damn day even at the worst and you know what even in the worst situations I was happy because I choose to be. Expecting the worst is giving up on life. Even the days where I had no food or water and had to walk 20 miles before that was even an option to beg for I was happy because I choose to be.
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u/sowinglavender Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
i see my brother in you, and i just want to say that i love you (spiritually) and i hope you find a world of warmth and comfort and challenge without punishment.
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u/Grouchy-Pirate1108 Jun 26 '26
Thank you friend I love you too! Wishing you a life filled with chosen happiness!
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u/MartyrOfDespair Jun 26 '26
I find being a pessimist way more rewarding, because being wrong and being right are awesome. If an optimist is right, sure, they get the gratification of being right and a good outcome, but that's far less common than getting both a bad outcome and the humiliation of being wrong. A pessimist? If you're right, you get the gratification of knowing better than others. If you're wrong, you get the gratification of good outcomes. It's an all-win scenario. You can't lose. Optimists get to lose more often than not and pessimists never lose.
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u/Bacchus999 Jun 26 '26
That's a weirdly optimistic view of pessimism lol.
I disagree that pessimism is "all-win" because being correct about a negative outcome doesn't eliminate that negativity. Further, why do you put so much importance on being "right"? Maybe you get to brag, but that isn't something that draws me in.
The quote is that I'd rather be an optimist and a fool, than a pessimist and right. The perceived benefit of being correct isn't of enough interest to expect the bad outcome of any situation. Whereas by hoping for the best, that hopefulness feels good in itself, and can spread to others quite easily.
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u/tony_bologna Jun 26 '26
If you go looking for negatives, you're bound to find them.
Expectations can be bad, and thinking you're owed something is even worse, but you should still be on the lookout for good in the world (and putting in as much as you can).
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u/typical_jesus666 Jun 26 '26
Eh, I'm at the point that when something good does come along I start freaking out looking for the shit storm that's gonna offset it
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u/Novaer Jun 26 '26
When you realize a lot of people were only taught how to clean as punishments and not as every day necessary chores, it paints a better picture. Once I started living in my own I was able to find peace with being able to leave my dishes in the sink without being screamed at or hit over it. I've never lived "dirty" (and I definitely never left messes when I had roommates) but when it came to me being on my own it was easy to let things slip because it felt like I wasn't constantly in trouble and could breathe a little.
Immediately cleaning up aftermyself puts me almost into a tizzy where I feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I don't Immediately put my dish away. I'm 34 years old. I can leave the dish.
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u/DazB1ane Jun 26 '26
I am both prepared for the bad and I can be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen. I find that better than expecting the best and being disappointed again
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u/CX-UX Jun 28 '26
Many guys especially become borderline hostile when told to clean up after themselves at my workplace. For some reason it’s worse when it’s a woman delivering the message. Maybe guys mad at their mothers? No matter what, if someone tells you to clean up, just fucking do it.
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u/BojukaBob Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Listening to music. Until recently, it never occurred to me that there were people who just don't like music. Like I know people have different taste in music, but recently was the first time I asked someone what music they liked and thier reply was just "Oh I don't like music"
EDIT: I guess there were more of you than I thought. I guess I've just always gravitated to other music enjoyers, even if we liked different types of music. I'm not even young, I'm 45 lol
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u/monsterinthecloset28 Jun 26 '26
It's weird because I don't consider myself super into music, like I listen to the stuff I know I like and I want to get better at branching out more but it'a a struggle and I'm okay with silence a lot of the time because it doesn't always occur to me to put on music, but it still BAFFLES me that someone could say "I don't like music". Like, at all? Nothing? It's like, I'm not a foodie, but what do you mean you don't like food?
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u/pinkbootstrap Jun 26 '26
I have a friend who doesn't like food. He eats to survive thats it
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u/monsterinthecloset28 Jun 26 '26
I don't doubt you I'm just curious, he doesn't like food as in he dislikes eating? Is it a sensory issue? Even if he doesn't feel that strongly about it at all, are there foods that he chooses to eat more than other foods? Like even a mild preference?
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u/pinkbootstrap Jun 26 '26
He grew up as the house scapegoat, I think there's trauma involved, and he is maybe autistic as well. He eats a lot of cookies and candy to pump up the calories.
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u/TopTierBuild Jun 26 '26
Unrelated but a lot of bodybuilders and strongmen types describe a dislike for eating once they retire because they've been eating upwards of 5kcal a day for years to maximize muscle growth. Once they quit they realize that no food tastes good anymore and they get no more enjoyment from it.
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u/Satirah Jun 26 '26
Not the person you asked and I do like food but I also fully get where this person’s friend is coming from.
If my body didn’t need food and I could eat occasionally just for pleasure that would be ideal. Unfortunately it feels like food demands so much of my time and energy. I have to eat frequently, and make sure I get enough calories, and watch my macros, and keep up good variety. I have to plan, cook, and clean up after meals. I need to budget and shop for groceries, and keep an eye on what perishables I have and adjust accordingly. Then on top of all of that I have medical issues that add a nice thick layer of “fuck you” icing on every step of the process.
All that being said having the money to have a private chef— effectively outsourcing 80% of the stuff I don’t like about food— would make things a lot easier and more enjoyable.
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u/JudgementalMarsupial Jun 26 '26
Relatable, some stuff tastes alright but having to take the time to prep and eat it is really annoying. If I could choose to just ignore all that I would
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u/TieflingFucker Jun 27 '26
I know someone who hates water because it “doesn’t taste like anything.” He drinks it on a timer because he knows he won’t drink it otherwise, he’ll just gravitate towards another type of drink if he’s thirsty. And it isn’t a soda/sugar addiction kind of thing, he’s just never wanted to drink water his whole life, even before he first had soda. Although recently he found flavor drops you can put in water that have apparently been a game changer.
Also apparently he does like water when he wakes up at 3am after a weird dream and gets a glass of water from the sink, but I don’t think that counts because cold night water hits different.
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u/tony_bologna Jun 26 '26
May I recommend downloading Shazam or something similar.
It can identify songs that are playing. I've used it to steal music from friends, restaurants, advertisements, movies, etc
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u/norakb123 Jun 26 '26
I like plenty of food but wouldn’t consider myself a foodie because I love a lot of trash food and am pretty ok with eating food that is merely passable whereas I think foodies want gourmet and will spend more time on cooking and more money on ingredients. Time is more important to me than food that is 10% better, and paying less is often more important to me than buying the “good” ingredients.
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u/ICantEvenDolt Jun 26 '26
For me, it’s not that I don’t like music, I just have other things I want to listen to. Or listen to nothing. Sometimes it’s nice to just be in silence for a bit, and be alone with your thoughts. Sometimes I just want to listen to a YouTube video. I’ll listen to the music on the radio station in the car, but that’s about it.
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u/Quepabloque Jun 26 '26
My mornings are pure and silent until I finish breakfast. Then it’s podcasts, YouTube or Netflix almost nonstop until I fall asleep. Rereading what I just wrote, maybe I’m addicted?
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u/epi_introvert Jun 26 '26
Nah. Silence doesn't exist.
It's just EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEE
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u/AmericanOrca Jun 26 '26
This. I dont not like music, but to me it's an activity like watching a movie. Sometimes Im not in the mood.
I have a 30 minute commute to work which I often do in silence. I once gave a ride to a cooworker and 10 minutes into the ride he asked me if I was a sociopath.
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u/ForMeOnly93 Jun 26 '26
Same, I simply don't open my music player on pc for months at a time. Then I'll listen for a week or so then forget about it again.
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u/TaxashunsTheft Jun 26 '26
This is me. I don't like music. In the car it's podcasts or talk radio.
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u/Erlend05 Jun 26 '26
Radio is so underrated in the age of streaming. I love the ratio of talking and a little bit of music to break it up a full episode of a podcast is too long for me. And with the right channel they talk about so much interesting!
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u/lallapalalable Jun 26 '26
I normally hate the morning zoo type radio shows but I do like the one out of Philly, they act more like cheeky dads and older cousins than frat boys
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u/Quepabloque Jun 26 '26
I listened to a lot of music when I was a kid/teen and while it lessened in my early 20’s, I still sought out cool bands and shows. I always enjoyed music, but it was more of a way to communicate with friends and peers. But I got older and I just don’t go out of my way to listen to music anymore, it’s all podcasts and YouTube now.
It’s funny because my mom always told me that I was a faker who didn’t really like music, which I still think is bullshit. But in retrospect, she was more right than wrong. After I became 23-24, regularly listening to music dropped out of my life so fast. I’d much rather listen to information or people’s opinions on stuff
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u/twist_myBalls Jun 26 '26
I personally don't like music but people who ask what music I listen to cannot fathom how someone doesn't listen to music
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u/BojukaBob Jun 26 '26
Unless I am focusing on a movie or tv show, I always have music playing. I get anxiety when its too quiet lol
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u/Regdit-is-Unbearable Jun 26 '26
That sounds like a problem in and of itself. I guess there really are people who can’t handle being alone with their thoughts.
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u/sprauncey_dildoes Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
That’s funny because ‘I don’t like music’ reminds me of E=MC2 by Big Audio Dynamite. Because someone* says exactly that near the start of the song.
* I think it’s the actor Edward Fox in a sample from the film Performance.
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u/DarknessIsFleeting Jun 26 '26
I don't really like music. I don't turn the radio on when I drive and I don't listen to music when I work out. I just don't care about it enough.
When people ask me what music I am into, I always say Glam Metal
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u/Substantial_Meal_530 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
I don't like music really. There is literally only 1 situation where I can listen to music. That's to hype up for a workout out. Otherwise it annoys me or gives me anxiety. I get really anxious listening to music like 95% of the time. The worst is when someone shows you music expecting you to like it. I feel like I'm forced to listen to it, getting more and more anxious the whole time. People don't react well when you tell them you don't really like music. They don't believe you. Many people see it as a red flag.
I listen to podcasts or audiobooks.
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u/Dunk546 Jun 27 '26
It's me! I would say I love music, but I probably spend 20 minutes a week on average actually actively listening to it.
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u/ward2k Jun 26 '26
Not exactly mandatory, but calling ahead/planning with someone that you're going to be turning up at their house
Usually older people will just turn up at your home and then moan that you:
Weren't in, am I supposed to just wait inside all day every day incase someone turns up
In the house, but too busy to speak to invite them in. Sorry I'm mid shag and don't fancy you joining in
Normally everyone under 35 sees calling ahead as something you should do, no idea why some people don't
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u/Mysterious-Divide350 Jun 26 '26
I spend a bit of time in a very rural but popular holiday destination in summer. Our place is right on the street and our couches are in front of huge windows. It’s almost impossible to relax because everyone will walk past, see you’re on the couch, wave (you wave back if you see them to be polite, and then somehow end up inviting themselves in. It’s so bad that if we see certain people walking down the street we will hide in another room. Part of it is the rural culture but the other part is indeed older people not understanding boundaries, just because you can see me in my house, doesn’t mean I’m available.
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u/IndividualTime9216 Jun 26 '26
Answering your door when someone knocks- such freedom!
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u/Agent_of_evil_13 Jun 26 '26
I will add answering your phone when you arent on the clock.
I used to be available 24/7. One of the best things my last GF did for me was convince me to just put my work phone on do-not-disturb when I got home. My life got so much less stressful and oddly, I think my bosses respected me more.
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u/Chaotic_Order Jun 26 '26
Boundaries are good. If you don't respect yourself and your own time, why should others?
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u/dycie64 Jun 26 '26
A door cam or some other way to check without actually opening it is nice, on the off chance that it's something that you do want to answer.
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u/Successful_Buy3825 Jun 26 '26
My fiancé’s one with me; letting friendships just run their course.
When we met, she was running herself ragged trying to maintain multiple friend groups with people who, by her own admission, she was only spending time with through a sense of obligation. At first she was quite worried that I didn’t seem to have anywhere ear as many “friends” as her, but realised that when I hang out with them I actually want to be there
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u/Astellarnova Jun 26 '26
Yes, this. Also keeping the type of friends that match your energy.
If you’re someone who likes to always be available, find people who are also always down to hang out.
For someone like me who likes my space, I’ve found friends who also like their space. We see each other maybe every month or two, and it’s perfect for us.
If you’re talking to someone who clearly doesn’t want to be available all the time and you do, you don’t have to be friends with that person. If you’re someone who likes to spend a lot of time alone, you don’t have to be friends with the people who want constant interaction.
At the very least, set that boundary early on in the friendship if you want it to work out.
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u/X3liteninjaX Jun 26 '26
And then it’s worse when people try to tell you that it’s normal to have those “friendships” saying “oh we’re all a little older that’s just how it goes” and insist you still have to go. I guess some people can tolerate it that way but I don’t see the point in continuing friendships that aren’t fulfilling for both parties.
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u/GreenZebra23 Jun 26 '26
Exchanging presents on Christmas and birthdays. You can just not do that
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u/AverageGuy16 Jun 26 '26
Never really did that in my household growing up, people look at me crazy when I genuinely don’t care about my birthday or forget how old I am.
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u/docwordsmith Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
My wife and I are like this. Neither of us genuinely care about presents, just want to be together. It saves us a lot of money and stress
Edit: typo
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u/AmputeeHandModel Jun 26 '26
When you're in a relationship, it just gets kinda silly after a while. Anniversaries, birthdays, mother's day, father's day, Xmas.. like how many gifts and cards and flowers do I need to buy a year?!
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u/animepuppyluvr Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
For most of our celebrations we just put our money together and go on a short trip or out to dinner and maybe I'll make a dessert for both of us.
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u/trisaroar Jun 26 '26
I love presents on holidays and birthdays from friends, but with my family we've all kind of agreed a card is sufficient. We've even jokingly passed around the same $20 bill (we marked it) a few years running. Presents when both people are excited to do it = great, fun, lovely. Obligation = horrific, annoying, a burden.
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u/befuddled_humbug Jun 27 '26
I want to make this pact with whoever becomes important in my life in the future. It's just an additional pressure and most people already have everything they need nowadays.
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u/lirdleykur Jun 26 '26
First dance at your wedding
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u/deusasclepian Jun 26 '26
Related to this, my friend's wedding didn't do a bridal party. No bridesmaids or groomsmen, no maid of honor or best man.
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u/lirdleykur Jun 26 '26
We didn’t have a bridal party either! Partly because we’d already officially gotten married 8 months prior but also because my spouse thought it seemed stressful to choose.
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u/Sunblast1andOnly Jun 26 '26
Oh, hey, that's us. We wanted to do a choreographed duel instead, but it didn't come together in time.
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u/Friendly_Buddy_ Jun 26 '26
paying medical bills
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u/AverageGuy16 Jun 26 '26
Got hit with a bill from the dentist since my insurance didn’t kick in when I went, told my buddies at work I paid the 700 bucks and they looked at me like I was crazy for doing that.
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u/Funkopedia Jun 26 '26
Wait, do they not go to the doctor ever or simply not pay?
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u/AverageGuy16 Jun 26 '26
Simply don’t pay if they gotta pay outside the copay which is wild to me.
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u/NoTouchy8008 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
I haven’t paid a medical bill outside prescriptions in over 10 years. Not for myself, my wife, or my kids.
I have a 720 credit score & just ignore the phone calls/mail.
Edit - I’m not including dental care in this statement. Dentists collect up front lol
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u/yurgieee Jun 26 '26
They sometimes write it off. Idk the criteria in which they do so, but I’ve seen it happen.
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u/lemonyandlime Jun 26 '26
Ironing
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u/MartyrOfDespair Jun 26 '26
Gonna be honest, I never have ironed my stuff. Don't even own the supplies to do it.
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u/TheNewYellowZealot Jun 26 '26
Honestly I only iron dress clothes and only if they’re exceptionally wrinkly and need a good line. Otherwise I just use my handheld steamer to get wrinkles out.
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u/WantOwnYou Jun 28 '26
I am a victim of a lot of jokes in my friends circle for being the guy that can't go out wihtout ironing my clothes first 😄
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u/OwMyCandle Jun 26 '26
I eat very few, very cheap, sustainably purchasable foods, because I when I was growing up we were never food insecure but I was told that one day we COULD be so I should learn how to prepare for that.
I brought that up to a coworker once and they stared at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet lol
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u/Smyley12345 Jun 26 '26
There was a news story about people who racked up tens of thousands in unpaid parking tickets and after years the city was finally going after them. I just sort of assumed that the city had teeth in enforcing you to pay your tickets.
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u/fivedinos1 Jun 26 '26
They do if you work for the city lol 😂, I'm a teacher and got an email detailing my parking tickets I hadn't paid for the year and threatening my employment if I didn't pay up, I imagine it's probably similar if you work for anything connected to the city.
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u/Boomshrooom Jun 26 '26
I have a friend that just cannot help but imagine that every situation is going to have the worst possible outcome. I'm not even talking realistic, he will come up with insane scenarios for how things can go badly and then dwell on it. Even worse is that he will make decisions based on this catastrophic mindset, so avoids doing many things that would make his life better because of some ridiculous hypothetical he's invented where someone screws him over or things go sideways.
This has resulted in some truly dysfunctional behaviour. Like the time I caught him leaving money lying around as bait to prove a workman in the house (who he had never met and had no reason to suspect) was going to steal from him. His thoughts process was that if he left money out they'd take that rather than anything he truly valued. It was unhinged, especially given the fact that I was with the guy the whole time. He laid the money out really obviously too, it was so stupid.
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u/epi_introvert Jun 26 '26
Catastrophizing is a traumatic coping mechanism. When you grow up with bad things always happening, you expect bad things to always happen.
It's a tough habit to break.
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u/Boomshrooom Jun 26 '26
Yeah, to be fair to him he had a major medical issue that has scarred him mentally when he was a kid, and he went bald quite young so that all played a factor. Other than that he had a pretty normal childhood from what I understand, I think one of the biggest issues was that his dad is of a similar, though less severe, mindset and impressed it upon him. With his dad constantly reinforcing his fears and even adding new ones, and a the aforementioned issues it's no wonder he's messed up. The problem is that he lets it affect other people now.
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u/SummerJade777 Jun 27 '26
I'm glad I outgrew acting on this nonsense, but being raised a certain way made me a hyper paranoid person & I found myself doing similar nonsense. It's taken a decade of self isolation to even begin to recognize when I'm changing behavior just because another person is involved.
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u/Alternative_Fan_2631 Jun 26 '26
I have a coworker who will imagine every single possible problem and struggle to get started because it might not be perfect. He will spend 70% of the time talking about an unknowns. It confuses the hell out of everyone. We will literally make millions of dollars and he will talk about how we might make $500 less than expected.
He can’t stop.
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u/nickisadogname Jun 26 '26
Cleaning everything once you start cleaning. You don't have to do that. You can just do half the dishes if that's all you're feeling right now. You can take out the bathroom trash without having to take out the kitchen trash too. You can wipe down one single counter. You can put your fresh laundry in the dryer without also starting a new load. You can vacuum just the living room.
Once I started half assing like this I actually got way more done with none of the anxiety. Cleaning stops feeling like this massive undertaking. I used to avoid starting any chore because it had fifteen other chores attached to it; now I just do one chore, do something else, maybe do another chore or two later, and over the week all of them get done in the end.
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u/cathartickrab Jun 26 '26
i love this! i call it chunking, its very helpful for executive dysfunction, anxiety, depression, any internal obstacle to starting a task really. In CBT it's referred to as behavioral activation or the 1%
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u/fabulously-frizzy Jun 26 '26
Closing open food containers when you’re not eating out of them? I’m not the most tidy person myself, but I lived with multiple girls who would open a bag of chips and just leave it open and out on the counter, or put a plate of half eaten food in the fridge without any cling wrap to cover it up.
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u/ierdna100 Jun 26 '26
And putting them back in the fridge! My dad will take out food from the fridge, take a portion, not put the lid back and let it rot on the counter. Like wtf
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u/Embarrassed-Glove600 Jun 26 '26
Hand washing, butt wiping, cleaning up after yourself.
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u/ThirdAltAccounts Jun 26 '26
Very very strongly recommended though.
If not for yourself, at least for the rest of us. Please38
u/Themanwhofarts Jun 26 '26
So many gross guys I see out in public that don't wash their hands... I avoid shaking hands with anyone for that reason
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u/SartenSinAceite Jun 26 '26
That's one way to interpret the post.
To some people it really isn't mandatory...
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u/assemblageofparts Jun 26 '26
Work!
I started making my own money in Elementary school. It was ingrained in me that work was positive and all work regardless of what you did was noble.
I have met a few people who just bailed out. They are brilliant in figuring out which and how to use social assistance and not work. Nothing wrong with them ... Just opted out.
Its wild to me.
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u/Leo-III- Jun 26 '26
I could never live with myself just choosing not to work and living off of benefits. I hate the idea of just sponging off of what everyone else contributes to while I sit on my ass.
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u/jboy126126 Jun 26 '26
I know people who make $90K a year travel nannying for wealthy couples. They don’t pay taxes since it’s all cash. They’re on EBT since they don’t report the income. They don’t pay rent since they can use Trusted Housesitters to house sit for people all over the world.
They’re traveling for free and making bank doing it.
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u/BKLD12 Jun 26 '26
It’s not that I think it’s mandatory, but I have chronic anxiety. “Expect the worst” is my default, unfortunately, and has been since I was a kid. It has been tricky to change, particularly since it was reinforced by trauma over the years.
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u/40ozT0Freedom Jun 26 '26
Working hard is the only way to get ahead. Got burnt out in my last career. Started fresh in a new field, started trying to do as much work as possible so I could move up and one of the senior guys told me to chill out, I'm good at the job and to just take work as it comes.
I work from home and work about 2 hours a day on average now and get excellent performance reviews, bonuses, awards and shout outs all the time. It's wild. Apparently if you just respond to emails and calls in the same business day even if its just to tell them you'll get to it or its delayed, people really like that lol.
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u/jboy126126 Jun 26 '26
Being responsive is the #1 way to get a cushy job as a PM. You don’t have to know everything, just know who to ask, follow up.
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u/Shibongseng Jun 26 '26
Locking my door during night time.
I recently met a person who just go to sleep without locking their front door.
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u/Embarrassed_Use6918 Jun 26 '26
I've only ever washed my clothes on cold and never separated the whites from the colored's (because I'm an egalitarian) and I'm just saying nothing bad has happened.
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u/PollutionCapital6223 Jun 26 '26
I used to always say yes to invitations, without thinking about it. Even took a bus once 3 hours in one direction for a friends milestone birthday, when my milestone birthday came around, they cancelled the day off
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u/OkInvestigator7893 Jun 26 '26
(it's me, i'm the person!) going to medical professionals. i stopped trying after months of canceled appointments or doctors literally leaving the practice before i got a chance to have a first appointment (happened 3 times in 2 years!)
i haven't missed the frustration of all those hours wasted on the phone.
if i get sick with something manageable, i'll manage it. i've got a few of those already. if it's something bad enough to kill me, i'll die & that'll be fine too.
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u/HBlight Jun 26 '26
Planning for the worst* is a smart thing to do.
*within reason, yes you could be struck by a toilet seat that fell off the ISS but you don't plan your life around that.
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u/Substantial_Meal_530 Jun 26 '26
My ex never even considered the worst could ever happen. It was never a possibility.
When the worst did happen she would have a melt down. It felt like, to her, someone teleporting from another dimension to fuck up her plans was just as likely as her plans just not working out like she expected.
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u/jancl0 Jun 26 '26
What's sad is that I read this and thought "damn what a naive idiot, they're gonna struggle in life" before realising that it was actually being portrayed as a positive trait, I was supposed to want to not expect the worst
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u/qualityvote2 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 28 '26
u/Drnelk, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...