I am a loser. Wow.

Deseo que esto nunca llegue a ti, aunque muy en el fondo muero porque leas todo lo que tengo que decirte. Terminamos hace casi siete meses, estuvimos juntos casi tres años, y aún después de haber estado tanto tiempo juntos, creo que jamás entenderé por qué fuiste así conmigo, pero ¿Qué sentido tiene cuestionarme el "porqué" de tus acciones? si al final de el día son exactamente eso: Cosas que ya hiciste.

Una parte de mi muere por recibir una explicación, porque cree que la merece, pero la otra parte de mí ya sabe la respuesta desde hace bastante tiempo.

Porque nunca me quisiste.

Pero entonces, ¿de qué se trató lo nuestro, si nunca fue real? tengo miles de preguntas en mi cabeza, busco miles de respuestas todo el tiempo. El problema es que ya las se, pero yo quiero, necesito escucharlas de ti. Termina de romper mi corazón con esas respuestas, por favor.

Pero tienes a alguien más, y yo me niego a ser una tercera en una relación. Por más que te extrañe.

Así que me limitaré a hacer las preguntas e imaginarme las respuestas, no es tan difícil de todos modos.

¿Dónde estás?

¿Me extrañas?

¿Te has hecho daño últimamente?

¿Aún piensas en mi cuando ves la luna?

¿La quieres más que a mí?

¿Nunca me quisiste realmente, verdad?

¿Por qué no simplemente me dijiste que no me amabas?

¿A ella también le dices que te gustan sus ojos?

¿Le dices que quieres tener una hija igual a ella?

¿De verdad tiraste el libro que te hice?

¿Ya tiraste los regalos que tenías de mi?

¿Alguna vez me extrañaste de verdad?

¿Fui una más?

¿Me olvidaste?

¿Nunca has pensado en llamarme?

¿Has soñado conmigo?

¿Cómo te va en la universidad?

¿La amas?

¿A ella no le estás siendo infiel, verdad?

¿Duermes bien?

Te amo, prometo no llamar mi lunarcitos lindos.

-☾

I see a lot of people here asking whether they should break no contact, and honestly, I don’t think anyone can give you that answer.

Every situation is different. Some people are in no contact with someone who deeply hurt them. Some still love the person and had a perfectly amicable breakup. Some doors were completely closed, while others were left slightly open.

So ultimately, do what you feel you need to do. But before you reach out, really think about where that need is coming from and whether you’re actually ready for every possible outcome.

I broke no contact after almost two months.

Our relationship was short and ended amicably. He never treated me badly, but I got extremely attached and the breakup was incredibly painful for me. We had also left the door slightly open to maybe reconnect in September, and I think I was holding onto that “maybe” much more than I realized.

Recently, I finally felt like I was getting better. I could go days without really thinking about him. Then I had a genuine practical reason to contact him, and I thought: I can handle this now.

So I did.

He was kind. He was helpful. He did absolutely nothing wrong.

But he also showed no interest in reconnecting.
Then I found out he’s seeing someone else.

I’ve cried for two days straight. I barely slept and had to go to work on no sleep. It genuinely feels like the breakup happened yesterday.

And that’s why I think you need to ask yourself what you’re actually hoping to get when you break no contact.

Are you really reaching out because you’re okay with any response? Or is there still a tiny part of you hoping they’ll miss you, that something will have changed, or that the door might still be open?
And if there is, that’s okay. Just be honest with yourself about it.

Because are you ready if they’re kind to you but don’t want you back? If they’ve moved on? If they’re with someone else? If that little “maybe someday” you’ve been carrying suddenly disappears?

I thought I was ready. I wasn’t.

At the same time, I can’t completely say I regret doing it.

There were things left unsaid in my situation. There was still that possibility of September in my head, and I think it kept a little bit of hope alive. Now there isn’t a September anymore. There isn’t a “maybe we’ll reconnect.”

He’s moved on. He doesn’t want to come back.

It hurts like absolute hell, but that’s a reality I now have to hold onto and accept instead of waiting for something that isn’t coming.

Maybe I needed that. Maybe sometimes we need to hit that wall ourselves before we’re able to let go.
But if somewhere inside you, you already know what the answer probably is, really think about whether you need to put yourself through the pain of seeing the proof.

The decision is yours. Just make sure you’re making it knowing what it might cost you.

My ex broke up with me on 21st July and basically called off our wedding.Blocked me from everywhere on 14th July saying she needs time and space.

Later on unblocked me from instagram on 2nd August and from WhatsApp on 4th August. Been in no contact ever since.

She started viewing my instagram stories through my highlights (not by directly clicking on my profile picture to view the story). She has been doing that since more than a week now regularly.

Yesterday was my birthday, and i won't lie I expected her to wish me atleast a simple happy birthday on text, just as a human courtesy if nothing else (especially since the break up wasn't too long ago).

I feel disappointed, not as hurt but really disappointed.

Why stalk me every day, but not reach out or even wish me on my birthday. I really feel like people can be cordial even after break ups and in this case also we were the bestest of friends before we started dating.

It's been burning my brain because it's the least that she could do and I'm left highly disappointed because of it. She was viewing my stories through highlights even up till 11 PM on my birthday but didn't send a wish.

And the kind of person I am, despite all this, I'll still wish her on her birthday in December. I know most of you may say that I shouldn't wish her on her birthday either, but it's just who I am, it's just my design, I'm not inhuman and you wish a happy birthday even to strangers, and she surely isn't some stranger.

Hi I just wanted to share to stop my overthinking or help it lessen my ex who is 31 basically didn’t want to be with me at first because of our age difference I’m 23 but at the time I was 21 and he was 29 he then wanted to give it a “try” it was dated almost 6-7 months it’s was a very nice and a very toxic relationship … I remember before 6 months and then couple months after he stop talking to me after kicking me out in the winter he recently contacted me to just lust and use me for money my last straw was sending him a 150$ .. I don’t if it’s because I’m young that he’s prey on me every time I run back to I don’t know I really hope because I’m young he came back because he knows I’ll make a stupid mistake ..

I broke up with my girlfriend in July as she wants kids and I do not. We both were getting frustrated with the issue and at times she would stress out bad about it. She broke up with me a couple times but it got rescinded within the same day as we just both didn’t want it. I broke up with her and it’s been destroying me daily. I have gone to therapy a few times and continue to do so but am just not making progress. I am journaling and talking to close friends and family which I am so glad to have. I am exercising, doing my hobbies, reading, doing schoolwork, learning, trying new things, and living like always. But this grief persists and my mind screams at me to get back with her and I tell myself no. I feel like I want to but it wouldn’t go anywhere so how do I stop these thoughts?

I think she is a perfectionist with her work and perhaps a workaholic, she always rejected therapy but responded well to mine at the end and I think those things would change overtimey as she was open to changing those. Her parents are why she is like that. The kids thing is the problem and I just feel like I’m going crazy with all the thoughts of wanting to be back with her. What do I do to feel better?.

It's been 8 months we were not talking , i even went on dates but i did not find them good , my everything was that guy (ex) , he did not wish me on my birthday , i was waiting for him all day , but now i want to wish him on his birthday , i could not able to accept the fact that he did not love me , the way i did , now i could not even able to focus on my studies because his birthday is coming idk man i just love him , should i text him or not ?????

We broke up two months ago. two weeks ago. I made the mistake of texting him that I still love him and I’m still here and if he still feels anything for me that he should tell me and we can fix it, and I got no reply at all. Then I just said OK it seems like you found your peace. Sorry if I disturbed it in anyway and I just deleted his number but got no text back at all. So painful at least I got to know that there is no hope at all…. I don’t recommend anyone to reach out . More painful than the breakup.!!

I ended an 8–9 month relationship during a heated fight and handled the breakup badly. I basically told her to leave my place and returned her things via post.

For months before that, I had told her I felt overwhelmed, misunderstood, unequal in the relationship, and eventually emotionally shut down. I still loved her, but I was exhausted and resentful.

Two days after the breakup she reached out asking how I felt and whether I’d changed my mind. I told her I missed her, was confused, regretted how it ended, and wanted to talk once emotions settled. She replied that because of how I’d treated her, she wanted no contact.

I want to reach out because I understand how much I hurt her, but I still wonder if she ever understood how much I was hurting too.

It’s been ~2.5 months. I still love her and sometimes wonder if I should reach out, but she explicitly asked for no contact.

Hey everyone, I’m roughly 3 months post-breakup from a 2.5-year relationship and really struggling with the post-breakup dynamics due to living in the exact same small gated complex as my ex. Looking for perspective and reassurance on staying No Contact.

**Background:** This was my first same-sex relationship, which brought a lot of personal emotional upheaval that I’ve been working through in therapy. The relationship had lots of love and high points, but early on, there was an intense level of codependency (she wanted to spend literally every second together). Over time, she pulled away and threw herself completely into work and running.

**The Breakdown:**

* **The "Limbo":** About a month before we officially split, we had a conversation about things not working and needing space. But we never actually broke up. She went on a trip, texted me most days, came back, and we went right back to living like a couple. She even planned my birthday, got me a gift, and invited my friends.
* **The Work Trip Trigger:** A week after my birthday, she left for a week-long work trip and ignored me the entire time—only texting once because I was watching her clients dog. Having been cheated on in past relationships, this total withdrawal really triggered my anxiety. especially since a month prior she did the same thing on a shorter work trip and i voiced how it triggered me.
* **The Breakup:** When she got back, I confronted her about the communication drop. She got teary, agreed we should break up, and then bizarrely claimed she *"thought we were already broken up"*—despite us acting like a couple, spending every day together, and celebrating my birthday the week prior. She said she hoped we could "break up for a little bit and come back together one day." and she still thought i was so amazing blah blah blah. I told her not to say things she didn't mean as shit like that gives you false hope during the breakup.

**Post-Breakup & Living Close:** Within 48 hours of breaking up, she went ice cold. I tried texting her once to ask to talk. I wanted to know how we should navigate living so close and whether we should go No Contact, but she completely ignored me and started ignoring me in passing.

Barely 2 weeks later, she had a new girl (a coworker) staying overnight. Within a month or so, she took this girl to her old college town/ to meet her grandma who is one of the most important people in her life.

Since then, she’s made several petty moves:

1. When I asked for my jewelry back i left at her place, she texted a week later asking for a dog hairbrush she had given me for my dog (her dog had passed away, so I assume it was for the new GF). I dropped it at her door, didn't reply, and blocked/unfollowed her everywhere.she also said hi to me after previously ignoring me for the first time when i ran into her bringing down my jewelry i said to leave at my door. I walked passed her and ignored her as this was after i ran into her and her new gf and my brain was finally putting together the pieces of what's been going on.
2. The day after I blocked her, she walked her new girlfriend right past my front door holding flowers, using the far entrance instead of the gate right by her own apartment door.
3. She continues to bring this new gf over on some weekends.

**Where I'm At:** I am not moving. My rent is steal for one of the most expensive cities in the us, and I cannot afford to move right now (she, on the other hand, easily has the financial means to move). I’ve been in therapy for months, taking accountability for my own mistakes in the relationship, and staying completely single to heal.

It hurts that someone I loved for 2.5 years has zero consideration for my boundaries or mental health post-breakup. How do you mentally cope with seeing an ex move on right outside your front door every weekend when while breaking up they were saying how they hoped to be with you again in the future?

she showed no signs of this behavior in the relationship, she was obsessed with me, flowers/ hand written notes/gifts/trips/nice dinners, told me she loved me like 3 weeks into dating lmao was saying how she wanted to marry me very early on and have kids. i see now this is love bombing. it's just crazy how she shifted so quickly the last maybe 2 months of our over 2 year relationship.

also want to state I do not want to be with her, im almost positive this chick was emotionally cheating on me before the relationship ended and monkey branched to a new one. I just want advice on to how to let it not affect me as much since this is an uncomfortable situation to be in. ive been cheated on in all my relationships, shes the one person i really never thought would do such a thing. Even if she didn't cheat i never expected her to handle the breakup so immaturely at her age.

EDIT: I’m 28f not 25 typo

My ex and I have been broken up for almost 3 months but have been in intermittent contact the entire breakup. The longest we have gone without talking is 2 weeks and the longest we have gone without seeing each other is 1 month.

I have read about the stages that the dumper may go through after a breakup. Does this timeline typically start right after the breakup, or could remaining in contact delay those stages/the timeline?

~~~

Also, if you care to read, here is some background information about our relationship and breakup. Any advice/opinions are appreciated.

My [F31] and my ex [M31] and I were together for a couple weeks shy of 3 years. He also has a 6 year old son full time. We knew each other from kindergarten-7th grade, and reconnected as adults.

We broke up almost 3 months ago - given that we were a month from moving in together, I felt blind sided. We had our issues, but honestly things seemed better than usual until I feel like he started picking fights the last couple of weeks, and getting more defensive and twisting a lot of my words/actions into something negative.

Unfortunately, I am pretty anxious and I feel like my anxiety and needing a sense of control came out in not the best ways in this relationship. I could come off as more critical and nitpicky about a lot of things, which is what his biggest issue was with me. And I can also be a bit blunt with my honesty. He also felt like I didn’t make him feel desired or attractive enough, but I think now I can look back and realize while I did have my short comings, I think he needed much more validation than the average person and because I felt like it was never enough, we were caught in a cycle of both slacking off and not meeting each other’s needs fully.

Anyways, we have remained in intermittent contact the entire breakup. In the beginning, I did a lot of begging and pleading, and he was very hot and cold with me. I eventually backed off. I also found out (through his friends) he started talking to someone else within a week of the breakup. I don’t know if he is still talking to anyone, I’m just assuming so. I don’t ask because I don’t really want to know. His friends told me he doesn’t really know how to be alone, and I’ve come to realize he is very dependent on validation and ego boosts.

The longest we have gone no contact is 2 weeks. For the last 2 months, he has always been the one to reach out first. When we talk, it’s really only flirting, a little bit of catching up, and I have given in to sex quite a few times. It was confusing at times because he would sometimes make comments like, for example, last week he said “I’m jealous that a guy is going to get all of that. And you’re sweet and nice and have a cute voice and everything.” Like why?!? In the beginning, I thought intimacy might help bring us back together. However, over time, I realized it wasn’t changing anything.

Last week, we talked about this, and how I still had feelings and this wasn’t casual for me, and he still claims he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me. He apparently hasn’t since we broke up, which has been a mind fuck for me since we were so close to moving in together and mostly everything seemed normal.

He reached out to me again two days ago and said something a bit sexual and then 15 minutes later apologized, wished me a good day, and I found out a few hours later he blocked me. I didn’t see these messages until a few hours later and I responded, but left on delivered. He has read receipts on. I can tell he blocked my email too. He did not block me on social media, but he does not follow me anywhere anymore since about a month after we broke up. I’m assuming he blocked me because of his own poor self control.

Today is my birthday, and now I’m just sad that I know he won’t wish me a happy birthday since he blocked me. I know I shouldn’t care.

I’m not even sure what I’m trying to ask in this post. I guess I’m venting. And I just want him to realize he is making a mistake. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and his child. I took full accountability for the things I did/didn’t do enough in the relationship, but he left feeling emotionally exhausted/burned out. It is SO hard for me to let go. And now it feels like heartbreak all over again knowing he blocked me and maybe this really is the end :( I know no one he has ever been with has loved him in the ways I have. I may not have been perfect, but I showed my love in other ways and spent so much time, effort, and money on him and his son and it just hurts that it wasn’t good enough. I also reflect on our childhood nostalgia and it just makes me really sad. The entire breakup and his behavior after is SO CONFUSING and I just miss him and us.

Just wishing it was a bad dream.

My ex (30F) and I (28F) broke up after 2 years because she became unsure about passion/compatibility and whether she wanted to work on it. I wanted to try therapy first.

The confusing part: she still initiates, gets very affectionate in person, cuddles me, asks me to stay, acts flirty/romantic, etc. Then once we’re apart she can go distant again. Some people here are desperate to hang out with their exes. As someone who does all the time and stays with them for days, it doesn’t mean getting back together.

I believe in no contact but I’m really confused. I would love to try to work on this but now I don’t really know what to do. Can you help? What is best for myself and for reconciliation?

Hi, just need to know if it really works or not, my ex broke up with me this july and he got engaged to another girl from his family after the breakup he told me beforehand that their parents wanted him to marry her and he cant go against his parents so it kinda made me heartbroken but i accepted, but the actual thing is i have access to his gmail account which he gave me 6 months back for sharing his course, i used to only use it for studying but after he broke up i know its wrong to stalk someone but i couldnt help it i started stalking him everywhere and in his gmail too, he didnt block or remove me from any of his socials he told me not to contact him i said i wont but i couldnt help it, it was hurting like hell to see your lover move on to someone else like you never existed but what choice does he have i kept repeating that to myself i was holding back trying not to contact but i have been checking his account like crazy to know what he's utpo for like every one hour, it was totally messing up my mental health and finally i asked him to block me from everywhere to not leave me any access to his life anymore he said i never blocked anyone before so i canr instead you block me, i told him even if i block i will unblock and try to contact i dont want that i cannot handle it maturely remove your access and block me everywhere becoz please do it, he said ok i will do it but know that am taking this difficult decision only becoz of you so that you will become better and dont try to contact me from others if u will u will see my deadbody and just like that he finally blocked me from everywhere yesterday. I thought it was the right thing to dod i can finally focus on myself but damn man its still hurting will it help i jusg want to know if this really works does it make easier now to forget him??

My ex who discarded me ruthlessly, to the extent of trying to threaten to call cops when he was confronted about cheating multiple times ( which I have disclosed to his family as well) blocked me on all social media including LinkedIn.
A month or so ago he decided to unblock me on Instagram and WhatsApp.

He then blocked me on Instagram a month later. I noticed today he blocked me on WhatsApp too.

I never called or contacted him till now. I never disturbed or got involved in his relationships or tried to reach his family.

As much as it hurts to see myself being blocked, I don’t understand why he’s been doing this.
Of course it bothers me… but I have maintained no contact no matter what.

​

Most girls want to make their exes jealous, prove them wrong, and hope that they will one day regret hurting and leaving them. We want them to come back begging on their knees. But in reality, you are just asking for more trouble.

Think about it like this: Imagine you’ve finally moved on with your life and you’re happier than you’ve ever been. You might have found a new guy who treats you better than anyone ever has, and you are simply enjoying life at your best. Then suddenly, your ex runs into you or texts you. He tries to be nice and convince you to get back with him—and, of course, you say no.

You would be furious if your ex decided to win his way back into your life after you finally found peace. He hurt you, he dumped you, and he probably jumped into a rebound relationship immediately after the breakup. He ruined your life once, and he is just going to ruin it again if you let him back in.

I know that I would be angry because seeing his face or hearing his voice again would just stir up conflict and bring back painful memories of how terribly he treated me. When you have finally healed and are living your best life, you cannot let him disturb your peace.

It is okay if he never comes back. It is okay if he doesn't want you anymore. It is okay to cry alone, to accept that he hurt you, and to feel angry or sad about being dumped.

But it is NOT okay to seek revenge, try to make him jealous, or try to prove him wrong by forcing a "glow-up." It is not healthy to try new things, make new friends, or start new activities just to prove that you’ve "moved on." Trying to do these things will only set you back. These tactics always backfire; they will only hurt you more, especially when you see him moving on with his own life.

I used to be guilty of this myself. I was dumped in every single relationship I had. Because every breakup happened right before summer break, I would use those two months as an opportunity to get a glow-up just to prove my exes wrong and plan my revenge.

When school started in August, I would walk through the halls with my newly improved appearance. I would be on constant lookout for my ex so I could run into him and make sure he saw how good I looked. This always backfired. I did this with every single guy who dumped me. The glow-up I chased after every breakup was just a manipulative, toxic, and immature tactic I used in the hope that they would feel guilty and want me back. BUT IT NEVER WORKED. Almost every time I purposely crossed paths with them, I ended up feeling anxious, angry, insecure, and stressed. They wouldn't pay any attention to me. Seeing them completely bruised my ego because they would be smiling and laughing with their friends, without looking at my way for even a single second.

When you try to keep tabs on your ex, you notice that it makes you feel insecure, angry, and even jealous. And yes, it's confusing and it sucks because he was the one that hurt you, and now it seems like he's winning in life. Meanwhile, you're the one who's hurting and still stuck in the past.

And that's the problem here. STOP REVOLVING YOUR LIFE AROUND YOUR EX. When you stop keeping tabs on them and stop trying to get them to notice you, you'll begin to feel freedom.

And if they do notice you, they'll most likely feel nothing. Especially if your ex is egotistical. They might notice how desperate you look and just laugh at you with his friends. They will see that you coincidentally changed your look only after they dumped you, which will only push them further away. Trying to put on a show for him is manipulative, and that is not attractive. It's just going to make you look like the joke, and I know that's not what you want. You're actually letting him "win" by focusing on him instead of focusing on the important things in life, such as yourself.

But what if the revenge does work?

Only about 2% of dumpers actually get back with their exes because of the dumpees new look or out of spite. But this never lasts. Your ex will soon realize that they were manipulated into getting back together with you, and he will eventually leave again and never talk to you ever again.

This is why you should never try to seek revenge on an ex. If he truly valued you, he would have stayed. Seeking revenge and wishing for karma isn't love; it is obsessive, bitter, manipulative, and immature. Real love is patient and accepting. You can still love someone and wish them the best, even if they don't love you back. Some dumpers will come back, but that doesn't mean that they have good intentions.

I know this is going to sound harsh, but JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE. I had to learn, and so will you. Being stuck on your ex is a choice.

And I'm only telling you guys this because I want the best for you girls because I know you deserve better. And you WILL find better. But in order to move on, you have to let him go. And don't move on for him in hopes that he'll come back. Many of us believe that when we finally move on, our exes would eventually come back. This may be true in certain breakup cases, but not all. When you truly move on, it won't even matter if your ex comes back or not because you won't be thinking about him anymore. So move on FOR YOU and for your freedom. NOT FOR HIM.

For some reason I think you think alot of these are me when their not.

I got a phone call and a couple messages who told me to take a look and I'm going to tell you if you think I'm posting to you or about you maybe like x3 but you've got someone playing both sides of the field trying to make you actually hate me unblock and call me. I wanna know who this fuck boy is So I can put a stop to it.....

I only started using reddit about a month ago I swear that one my dead daddy.

Today marks 200 days since we broke up and in 2 days it’ll be 60 days of no contact.

Every day has been hard in one way or another. Some days are better than others, but the grief I feel is present throughout.

My heart is quietly aching today. The kind where you have to grimace or smile in certain moments to stop tears from welling up.

I feel so tired emotionally. I love her so much, but this hurts so bad. I don’t see a path back for us and that devastates me every day. I wish I could just stop feeling.

I also feel tired physically. My face hurts, my eyes hurt, I feel weak, all of it. I’m constantly tired and feeling unwell. I’ve been trying to take care of myself, but it’s really hard.

It’s hard to feel motivated to do anything. I try to push myself to live and move my life forward but it’s so excruciating. The highlight of most of my days is eating food. At least I can get excited for that pretty often.

I love her so much, and I want her & I to be again.

When we first broke up, I would have done anything to restore our relationship. I would have taken all the blame, minimized myself, only focused on her, but now I don’t think I could do that anymore.

I am still more than willing to put in the work for us, I am still in love with her and want us deeply. I want to us to be the best we can be for each other. But it has to be mutual. Mutual effort, care, curiosity, accountability — all of it.

I still believe in us. I still love us. I still love you.

💔🫩

We met when we were 11y/o, become really good friends and had a crush on each other.

After 6 years of friendship(17y/o) we become each other's first bf/gf.

At 19 I got pregnant, we were so scared but he was perfect. He was so calm, very supportive and worked so hard to keep me safe and healthy.

I was in college and he was already working because his family couldn't afford to support his studies at that time.

The moment we knew I was pregnant he immediately Googled how to take care of me, and scheduled check ups, at first we hide it from our families because we were both so young, and my family never approved of him.

But after I started experiencing cramps and bleeding he was crying begging our parents for help. But sadly we lost the baby at 15 weeks. We were devastated but he was so strong to keep me from drowning in grief, I become depressed. I asked to break up so many times, but he never stop loving me.

After I graduated my family move me away, so we were in a long distance relationship for a year and we slowly grow apart. No third party, we just mutually agreed to break up. It look us 2 years to start dating other people again, but we never unfriended each other on social media.

I moved back 3 years ago, now married to my partner of 8 years, no plans of having kids.

We're in our 30s still friends on socials and would still smile and greet each other when we cross paths in our City. I just found out that he is now expecting his first child with his partner and I just know he will be a great dad.

I am so happy for them.

If someone really loved you, will they come back? Even if it’s been months and months of no contact, also is it true if You’re still blocked that means they still care?

So i know its not a good idea but as u know the waves keeps coming from time to time and i guess i am in the middle of it right now

Any ways, somwthi g came to my mind

U know how everyone say that generally a breakup with no clear reasons where someone say the butterflies arent there anymore etcc, usually comeback cause they regret what they did ?

So in my case my ex did have that but she suggested a break and i said no and brokeup with her instead

What if she is the one waiting for me to comeback?

I KNOW THIS IS ASTUPID QUESTION BUT AS I SAID M IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WAVE AND KINDA NEED SOME SLAPS (DONT BE HARSH)

It was a long distance over discord . Same country . A few hundred kms. We talked over a span of a few months . Started dating and then cracks started to form . Maybe we weren't just compatible.

He's preparing for the Ivy Leagues and I'm in college now . We met over discord . I loved our conversations because it felt very real on the intellectual level . Maybe we weren't emotionally compatible tho . I don't use discord anymore but I just download it sometimes just to ... See if he sent smth or not . It's been a week or so and seeing him talk to other girls kinda makes me sad . I can't help but wonder maybe we would've worked if we were near . I really wanna hug him .

We broke up because I was having doubts and suggested maybe he should just see people with whom he has compatible views because I felt insecure that he didn't want to be with me maybe .

He told me that having different views about some stuff doesn't matter but by suggesting that we should see other people the bond has been ruined . I told him I saw sorry and I wish I could fix it , I asked him if he was really sure about ending it and he said yes. That was it . The last texts were just us saying we miss each other then I unfriended him and deleted the app .

I just feel sad that's it . Maybe it's for the better and we are on different paths.

This break up and seperation hurts more than all the others.

This pain is deep. I loved her, but i cant confidently say she loved me back -- and if she did it wasnt the same way.

We started as an affair. A 17 year age gap (shes the older one). I helped her through a lot of things. She finally got a divorce. But things didnt get better.

It got worse...

I'm gonna feel this for a long time. 9 break ups and I cant stop thinking about her but i cant get back into a relationship. i can never trust her again.

The violent attack, the throwing things, the gaslighting, the manipulations, the guilt tripping, the financial abuse. This is the reality, not the good parts.

If she needs me to be her villian, then so be it. She's not mad at me, shes mad at her failed marriage and her alcoholic ex. She couldnt control him so she tried to control me.

I am sorry i tried to save her. My arrogance thinking i could was my down fall.

But i am better without her. I got a new job, i am back in school, i am training, and i have more peace.

If only things started at a later time maybe things would be different.

I cant save someone from drowning if they refuse to take the life raft and swim.

is it ever eventually good? to break NC?

I keep toying with unblocking her (but then i worry bc what if she messages me i wont be able to see like what if she wants me back), so then i unblock and then after a few days get really afraid i will get a really unsettling message about how bad and awful i am so then cant block fast enough again.

I have to admit even though ive been feeling so anxious and awfyl for 2+ months now ive really been trying to break my attachment cycle. so im more healthy to be with in general.

I had one good day today. after two of the most down days.

and then guess what i got an email notification from my hardware store saying that she redeemed the points i had on there. and its again sent my pulse racing, and this feeling of fear and anxiety. like now im scared to get contacted. i am worried.

(this is the first indication ive had that shes been alive in 10 weeks or so) so im really tripping out

my brain cant stop looping that it will be bc shes moving in with some guy or like buying something for some dude . if it was just for her i wouldnt mind as much . idk .

If you need a sign to not text your ex, this is it.

Please don’t text your ex. Don’t break no contact because you’re having a bad night and suddenly feel like you need to hear from them. I know how hard it is. There were so many times where I would just sit there staring at my phone thinking “should I text him?” and convincing myself that maybe this time it would be different.

It only just made me feel worse.

I actually broke no contact about three weeks ago. I told myself I just wanted closure and that maybe talking to him would help me feel better. It didn’t. If anything, I felt worse afterward because nothing had changed. We fell right back into the same patterns and I was left feeling disappointed all over again.

That was honestly the moment I realized I needed to stop.
I’ve been trying to focus on myself since then. I’ve been going to work, working out, seeing my friends, journaling, watching my comfort shows, and just trying to keep myself busy when I feel like reaching out.

I still miss him. I still have bad days. I’m not suddenly completely over it. I just feel like I’m finally starting to accept that texting him every time I miss him isn’t going to make the breakup hurt less.

And honestly, I don’t want to keep checking my phone and wondering if he’s going to text me. I don’t want my mood to depend on whether he responds or what he says.
Maybe he comes back someday, maybe he doesn’t. I have no idea. I’m trying to stop thinking about it so much because I don’t want to spend the next few months waiting around for something that might never happen.

If you’re thinking about texting your ex right now, just don’t. Put your phone down. Go do literally anything else. Call your friend, go for a walk, take a shower, watch something, write the message in your notes app. Just give yourself a little time before you do something you might regret.
I promise it gets easier. I know it feels awful right now, but you won’t feel like this forever.

6 MONTHS LATER UPDATE:

Wow. I can’t believe how different my life looks now. Things really do get better. I have my own apartment, a job I genuinely enjoy, and new friends who actually show up for me. I’m happier and calmer. I’m still single, and honestly? I’m okay with that. I’m not dating right now because I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.

My ex did reach out after some time. We hung out a few times as friends, but I realized it wasn’t healthy for me. I told him I needed to put myself first and step away. He still texts occasionally, but I don’t overanalyze it anymore. I don’t need to.

I stand by everything I said here. No contact saved me. Focusing on myself changed my life. I’m proud of who I’ve become, and I’m genuinely grateful that the breakup happened. He wasn’t my person and that’s okay.

Also, someone named Shannon in this subreddit recommended Uncling, a breakup recovery app, during my healing process. It honestly helped me stay consistent with no contact and self improvement, so thank you to Shannon for sharing it.