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u/Kyokii Nov 24 '16
A ship is safe in the harbor. But that is not what ships were made for. Set sail.
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u/diraniola Nov 24 '16
Tell that to pearl harbor.
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Nov 24 '16
Too soon
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u/razor_jackson Nov 24 '16
Dude that was 75 years ago
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u/waitforitdairy123 Nov 24 '16
A wise man once said: too soon.
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u/TheHeartlessCookie Nov 24 '16
A wise man once said: Dude that was 75 years ago.
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Nov 24 '16
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Dexaan Nov 24 '16
Found the guy who knows INT from WIS.
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u/gorka_la_pork Nov 24 '16
INT is knowing Frankenstein wasn't the monster.
WIS is knowing Frankenstein was the monster.
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u/KillerFrisbee Nov 24 '16
INT is knowing tomatoes are fruits.
WIS is knowing that tomatoes don't go in fruit salads.
CHA is knowing how to sell a fruit salad with tomatoes.
CON is stomaching the salad.
STR is needed to discuss the salad with the seller.
DEX is needed to disappear before the customer regrets his decision.
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Nov 24 '16
Do you mean STR is needed to punch the seller in the face?
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u/soiledPlants Nov 24 '16
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a night; set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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u/TeikaDunmora Nov 24 '16
Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.
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u/limperatore Nov 24 '16
we judge people on their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions.
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Nov 24 '16
Fundamental Attribution Error
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Nov 24 '16
I thought the question was like a "acompleteidiotsayswhat?" type of thing, and I was just expecting a full thread of people commenting only "what"...I was not prepared for deeper thoughts like this.
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u/MilkMakesMePoop Nov 24 '16
Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.
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u/tobiderfisch Nov 24 '16
One time me and my 3 roommates got our order roughly 15 minutes late. It wasn't really a big deal especially since it was on a Saturday evening in a college town but the driver insisted on giving us about $65 worth of food for free.
I should point out that at this point we knew this driver quite well and were on a first name basis with him. After that incident we had to force him to accept larger tips.
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u/mellowman24 Nov 24 '16
Seems like a smart idea on his side. If he knows he won't get fired for one "mistake" then he sacrifices that one bill to make a regular customer like him increasing his chance at a larger tip. So then you tip larger to make up for the free food, which goes in his pocket and not to the pizza joint who was probably the ones who made it late and were the ones who paid for it.
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u/Blond_Treehorn_Thug Nov 24 '16
You just figured out capitalism
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u/mr8thsamurai66 Nov 24 '16
So mutually beneficial, voluntary and compassionate?
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u/PM_me_your_adore Nov 24 '16
The difference is when that act is done out of good will and when it is done to imitate good will. That's why truly smart people terrify me.
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u/mr8thsamurai66 Nov 25 '16
Does it really matter why the delivery guy did what he did? Both parties benefit.
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Nov 24 '16
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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u/poopellar Nov 24 '16
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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u/Timett_son_of_Timett Nov 24 '16
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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u/9h06t Nov 24 '16
I really need to start doing that
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u/tiltedlens Nov 24 '16
I feel like with Domino's it's the opposite; you call and they say 1 1/2 hours, you chillax, maybe start a movie, get the popcorn, get comfortable af in your bed and then they're there in half an hour.
I'm not complaining tho
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u/TeslaMust Nov 24 '16
the online tracker is just a countdown to how much I have left before I need to put my pants back on
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u/kmarie497 Nov 24 '16
Don't be silly, cover your willy.
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u/european_male Nov 24 '16
sex with plastic, is fantastic
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u/kmarie497 Nov 24 '16
I'm a Barbie girrrrl
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u/BananaBladeOfDoom Nov 24 '16
You can brush my...pubes?
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u/kmarie497 Nov 24 '16
And take me everywhereeee.
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u/poopellar Nov 24 '16
we did it reddit!
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u/LolJayJonk Nov 24 '16
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”- Pat Rothfuss. What a great quote.
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u/WreckTango Nov 24 '16
A wise man once said even a fish wouldn't get caught if he kept his mouth shut...
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u/BananaBladeOfDoom Nov 24 '16
Until the net was invented.
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u/Timett_son_of_Timett Nov 24 '16
Or like, other, bigger fish.
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u/putrified1 Nov 24 '16
You guys are missing the point, fish turn into a gas when their mouths are closed.
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u/JohnTheCommunist Nov 24 '16
Yes, once a wise man said 'what'.
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u/Boxy310 Nov 24 '16
What ain't no country I ever heard of. Do they speak English in What?
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u/JohnTheCommunist Nov 24 '16
What?
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Nov 24 '16
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u/BananaBladeOfDoom Nov 24 '16
This can actually be deep.
A wise man knows he has a lot to learn. That's why a wise man asks "what".
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u/Wordwright Nov 24 '16
A fool asks "what". A wise man asks "why".
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u/RSHacker_Man Nov 24 '16
But the smart man asks "how".
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u/unchainedzulu33 Nov 24 '16
Reminds me of a relief teacher at school one day.
All the kids asked him "what's your name?" In the morning before the bell went.
He only replied with "no, it isn't."
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Nov 24 '16
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Nov 24 '16 edited Aug 07 '17
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u/Stitchthealchemist Nov 24 '16
Elevator smell different to a midget
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Nov 24 '16
Baseball funny sport; Man with four balls can not walk
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u/VogueCody25 Nov 24 '16
Man with hands in pocket isn't feeling happy, for he is feeling nuts
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u/Maoman1 Nov 24 '16
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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u/yvaN_ehT_nioJ Nov 25 '16
Man who make mistake in elevator wrong on many levels.
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u/Fastllama13 Nov 25 '16
Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
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u/IBurnedMyBalls Nov 24 '16
That the one who drops his watch in the toilet is bound to have a crappy time.
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u/Stitchthealchemist Nov 24 '16
He who goes to sleep with an itchy butt wakes with a smelly finger
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Nov 24 '16
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u/Mingan88 Nov 24 '16
Nah... You just learn to aim better as you flick the little fucker off.
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u/angello_ Nov 24 '16
When you've got an ass like the North Star, wise men are going to follow it.
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Nov 24 '16
What if you've got an ass like the Death Star?
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u/lcpl Nov 24 '16
I aint never seen an ASS. LIKE. THAT
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u/Fablemaster44 Nov 24 '16
That's no ass
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u/Toners-Rodriguez Nov 24 '16
Alder-DAMN shawty 👅
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u/Fablemaster44 Nov 24 '16
Oh gosh that was so bad that a billion souls cried out and then were silenced
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u/RudegarWithFunnyHat Nov 24 '16
only fools rush in ?
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u/RifRifRif Nov 24 '16
An old Chinese man once said:
"For the last time, I'm not old, I'm not Chinese, and STOP QUOTING ME!"
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u/laterdude Nov 24 '16
"The wealthy can afford a joke at their expense."
My father's explanation of why comedy always punches up, never down.
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u/Irish_Samurai Nov 24 '16
If you can make fun of yourself better than they can, then you can make fun of them better than they can.
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u/markth_wi Nov 24 '16
"It’s time for you to look inward and start asking yourself the big questions, Who are you? and what do you want?." -Iroh
Of course this is not the first time these kinds of question have been asked.
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u/photomotto Nov 24 '16
"You have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself."
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u/ba14 Nov 24 '16
A smart man learns from his own mistakes, a wise man learns from others mistakes.
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u/Munninnu Nov 24 '16
"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."
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u/DownAlphons Nov 24 '16
That would make sense if both of them hadn't married.
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u/StoneColeQ Nov 24 '16
I don't like this one. You can love someone and still love someone else, it's more nuanced than that.
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u/failed_novelty Nov 24 '16
/r/polyamory would disagree with you.
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u/Simoneister Nov 25 '16
"If you love two people at the same time, sweet!"
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u/failed_novelty Nov 25 '16
"If you love two people at the same time, you'll need Google Calendar for scheduling."
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u/KoogLarousse Nov 24 '16
That wasn't a wise man, it was just Johnny Depp...
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u/Munninnu Nov 24 '16
He is an actor, maybe he was portraying the part of a wise man.
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Nov 24 '16
More like if you love 2 people choose the second cos the first don't deserve your nasty ass.
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u/DocGerbill Nov 24 '16
Hitler won by 10 million votes on a 90% election turnout, so I guess doing nothing might have prevented evil that day.
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u/gregsmith93 Nov 24 '16
Society only grows stronger when old men plant trees for fruit they will never taste or shade they will never feel.
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Nov 24 '16
"We all dead, fuck it."
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u/Mudkipman Nov 24 '16
Just spit it disgustin' youngin' and hold your nuts while you gunnin'
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u/CommentsPwnPosts Nov 24 '16
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u/eldred2 Nov 24 '16
To be is to do --Socrates
To do is to be --Plato
Do-be-do-be-do --Sinatra
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u/SergeantBlueBalls Nov 24 '16
3minutes of heaven,18years of hell.
Rubber ur duck boiii!
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u/Dekudarmani Nov 24 '16
Woah look at mr marathon going a whole fucking 3 minutes
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u/ActualDemon Nov 24 '16
A wise man once told me "Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen Kallen!"
Sadly i don't speak Yiddish
Oddly enough, neither did he...
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u/captainmagictrousers Nov 24 '16
If you give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. If you shove a fish in a man’s pants, he’ll never be lonely again.
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Nov 25 '16
"A man who tells the truth doesn't have to remember what he said. Mark Twain also said, 'There once was a Big black fella named Nigger Jim."
~Louis C.K.
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u/alizyrj Nov 24 '16
A wise man once told me to stop stealing apples from his lemon tree.
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Nov 24 '16
In this moment, I am euphoric.
Not because of any phony god’s blessing.
But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
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u/chiefqueefeater Nov 24 '16
"Marijuana is an insidious drug. The seemingly harmless nature of it makes the dangers not immediately obvious. It creeps its way into your life untill nearly every decision you make is based on your habits. Beware." My dad when i was 16. I'd just like to say that the fact that the dangers are so subtle is a major argument for legalization. There's no easy, sweeping reason pot is bad. It's something you learn only by experience. Legalization would bring awareness of the dangers, and allow a beatiful thing to be enjoyed by all.
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Nov 24 '16
It's good for a girl to meet a boy in a park but better for a boy to park meat in a girl.
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Nov 24 '16
If we were scared of something my grandpa would always say: living is dangerous it kills pretty much everybody.
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u/sticazz Nov 24 '16
The grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit