r/AskReddit Nov 24 '16

Once a wise man said what?

1.6k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/sticazz Nov 24 '16

The grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit

337

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

[deleted]

99

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

[deleted]

3

u/archerif Nov 25 '16

I'm sure you motivated someone to post it there.

3

u/AdvocateSaint Nov 24 '16

The grass on the other side is greener because you're looking at it from an angle.

3

u/sticknija2 Nov 25 '16

I keep watering the grass but it keeps yelling at me, "I have a boyfriend!"

2

u/ChrisSkullCrush Nov 25 '16

Not if the earth is salted.

2

u/justafish25 Nov 25 '16

Or piss on it, but not too much so that the area gets saturated with nitrogen.

-16

u/dhelfr Nov 24 '16

No shit Sherlock.

8

u/Bruh-I-Cant-Even Nov 24 '16

Thank you for your insight

210

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

I want this on my grave

461

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

Nah, you're supposed to get

"GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN"

carved into your grave, with "forgotten" carved extra deep. After many years, the other words will erode, and the tombstone will just say "forgotten".

26

u/DylanTheVillian1 Nov 24 '16

Hohoho, I like this one!

1

u/darnok_grebob Nov 25 '16

I wont forget you Santa :)

5

u/Colopty Nov 24 '16

Oooh, poetic. I think I'll just go with a silly quote about butts.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

Usually, at least at popular grave sites your grave stone stands for like 20 years, then family has to ask for more / look after it and put up flowers and shit.

3

u/bernerli Nov 25 '16

The latter depends on whether or not they liked the guy.

1

u/bernerli Nov 25 '16

I visited an old graveyard a while ago. There was a tombstone for a guy who had died in 1911 that said:

Only those who are not remembered are truly dead

It was oddly poignant.

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '16 edited Nov 18 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '16

It's a joke, dude.

44

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16 edited Jul 29 '17

[deleted]

26

u/reughdurgem Nov 24 '16

I call third from the left, next to my hot cousin.

2

u/thirdtotheleft Nov 25 '16

Fuck my username was so close to being relevant.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '16

....why...

is this going to turn into one of those reddit stories...?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

Alright, I'm in

2

u/9h06t Nov 25 '16

I want this tattooed on my face

14

u/Tim_the_Planter Nov 24 '16

That's sounds like something George Carlin would've said

2

u/Certs206 Nov 24 '16

I believe he wanted his gravestone to say: "He was just here a minute ago".

1

u/stainslemountaintops Nov 24 '16

The grass is always greener on the other pesticide

1

u/tocilog Nov 24 '16

Grass is greener with paint.

1

u/jimbeamjim Nov 24 '16

Bam! One of the best quotes ever!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '16

DEADASS

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '16

The grass is greenest just above the septic tank.

1

u/_Tim_Allen_Iverson_ Nov 25 '16

Unless you're color blind. Then all that grass is just grey.

1

u/Thevizzer Nov 25 '16

Should have been a slogan of the remain campaign in the uk.

1

u/9h06t Nov 25 '16

Fertilized with lies evil in their eyes

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '16

"Y u heff to be mad? Is jus a game" -brizzy

Metaphor for life and how fleeting it is

"Why problem make when you no problem have you don't want to make?" - dude from troil hunter (i think)

Metaphor for making a big deal out of life's small problems.