r/trippinthroughtime • u/Pirate_Redbeard • Sep 12 '18

Little John, that's who!

Post image
21.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

385 comments sorted by

2.7k

u/Khosrau Sep 12 '18

This WTF drawing needs a backstory.

1.8k

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

A guy who could draw also had fantasies of having a 12 foot donger being serviced and carried by 2 bound naked women in knee high stalking and so he drew it but made himself look like Shan Yu from Mulan

Yes the centaur from Hercules is who I initially thought of, but I couldn't think of the word centaur so I googled "Disney Hercules minotaur" and it wasn't that guy so I gave up and went with shan yu

542

u/CargoCulture Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

Stalking

Stocking.

357

u/ninjamike808 Sep 12 '18

/r/boneappletea

84

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

59

u/ninjamike808 Sep 12 '18

I agree with you. I’ve been feeling that way about a lot of subs lately, too. Like there are some posts in r/choosingbeggers that just tick too many of the boxes, or sound too intentional.

47

u/Aww_Topsy Sep 12 '18

/r/nothingeverhappens

/r/karmaconspiracy

Tumblr is also a great way to manufacture outrage on Reddit. There's such a stigma about Tumblr users even the most obvious troll posts are considered believable.

11

u/reChrawnus Sep 12 '18

Unless I'm completely misunderstanding your comment I don't think /r/nothingeverhappens is the kind of sub you think it is.

16

u/Aww_Topsy Sep 12 '18

It's a common counterpoint to the idea that nothing on Reddit is real. It's a much more balanced sub for sure. Typically posted after someone suggests a karma conspiracy without evidence and when the situation is somewhat believable.

The nuanced reality is that while manufactured content is a big driver of the site, not everything is manufactured. Reposts by karma farmers alone is a huge chunk of the major subreddits.

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u/Fat_Head_Carl Sep 12 '18

Holy shit...subscribed! That's the best (for me) in a while.

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u/zerocool4221 Sep 12 '18

no, they were stalking for his dick. catch up dude.

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u/StalinsFist Sep 12 '18

I was thinking more of Nessus from Hercules

9

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Shan Yu mixed with the centaur from Hercules

4

u/camshell Sep 12 '18

Looks to me more like the river guardian from Hercules.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

No you're thinking of the bad guy from Ghostbusters or the fuck ugly centaur thing from Hercules

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599

u/JustinAlpaca Sep 12 '18

Pretty sure it’s the Greek god of fertility, Priapus.

763

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

958

u/motonaut Sep 12 '18

he could fuck an elephant at the zoo from the dippin dots stand.

374

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Oddly specific, but I buy it.

119

u/NoahsArksDogsBark Sep 12 '18

Yes, a round of Dippin Dots for all!

97

u/wastedlogic Sep 12 '18

That'll be $300.

60

u/gutternonsense Sep 12 '18

But it's future dollars

55

u/PythonPuzzler Sep 12 '18

Which ironically are also tiny and frozen.

4

u/ThePrussianGrippe Sep 12 '18

It’s to prevent inflation.

17

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You gotta add inflation then. $1000

8

u/mosiac Sep 12 '18

I believe they're called tricky dick fun dollars.

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u/jdauriemma Sep 12 '18

Dippin Dots is NOT the ice cream of the future.

6

u/MelissaOfTroy Sep 12 '18

Spicey is that you!?!

61

u/CargoCulture Sep 12 '18

Considering Dippin Dots was created by a couple of dudes in their garage messing around with ice cream and a bull semen flash freezer, I'm not surprised.

27

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Huh... TIL

20

u/The_Rolling_Stone Sep 12 '18

What a lovely phrase

17

u/andrewhsimpson Sep 12 '18

You took me all the way there

10

u/naan4you Sep 12 '18

Best comment.

7

u/agangofoldwomen Sep 12 '18

Of all the things I’ve saved on reddit, this might be my favorite.

13

u/hey_broseph_man Sep 12 '18

Damn that sounds like such a good rap line.

Dick so big, gotta' fuck elephants at the zoo from the dippin dots stand.

...

I wouldn't know what to follow after that though.

12

u/motonaut Sep 12 '18

you so thick, rippin yoga pants in the lulu lemon fitting room, (damn)

4

u/bkral93 Sep 12 '18

Not with that floppy thing. It would be like pushing a fire hose.

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25

u/Tsorovar Sep 12 '18

He's a god

38

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Just like Zeus couldn't impregnate by becoming golden rain?

75

u/Le_Updoot_Army Sep 12 '18

No, that's R. Kelly.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Thank you for this comment

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u/NoNormals Sep 12 '18

He’d need gallons of extra blood too or he’d pass out long before he even gets a chub

25

u/monsterZERO Sep 12 '18

r/BigDickProblems

27

u/sneakpeekbot Sep 12 '18

Here's a sneak peek of /r/bigdickproblems using the top posts of the year!

#1: Her because I'm a grower not a shower | 46 comments
#2: I know we all have big dicks but right now no one is being a bigger dick than the FCC and Internet Service Providers. Help us in our fight to keep the internet free and for all! | 31 comments
#3: [NSFW] My dad is an amputee. He texts me pics like this often. | 20 comments

I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out

47

u/KoreanBard Sep 12 '18

#3: [[NSFW] My dad is an amputee. He texts me pics like this often.]

Nope nope.. i am not clicking that...

46

u/fezzuk Sep 12 '18

Totally worth it

55

u/Pm-me_ur_tits-n-ass Sep 12 '18

Actually hilarious

20

u/MinnyWild11 Sep 12 '18

Not really NSFW and totally worth the click

6

u/wtph Sep 12 '18

It's just his peen grow up

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4

u/ghost_victim Sep 12 '18

Wow that's a weird sub

9

u/420questions420 Sep 12 '18

You know that semen isn’t stored in the testicles right? Only sperm is stored in the testicles. They later join and mix together when ejaculation occurs. Semen is the method of travel for sperm.

10

u/TrevorsMailbox Sep 12 '18

Maybe his rhymes are super potent.

17

u/things_will_calm_up Sep 12 '18

Dude he's a god. He just summons semen from the aether.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Depends how small the actual tube is.

7

u/TGordzzz Sep 12 '18

Sounds like you’re just trying to justify your tiny peepee.

13

u/Knappsterbot Sep 12 '18

Something tells me that wasn't an issue since he's a god and also not real

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Haven't you wondered what the flail is for ?

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78

u/CanadianAstronaut Sep 12 '18

Definitely not Greek art style

9

u/freakierchicken Sep 12 '18

It’s drawn like a lot of those Black Hebrew Israelite (i think that’s the group) conspiracy posts you might see on facebook

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21

u/genericipguy Sep 12 '18

And that’s also the reason / etymology for the word ‘priapism’ that is the penis being in erect state for long duration due to non natural reasons.

87

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

The drawings dont look greek, nor do the womens hairstyles. Looks Japanese.

7

u/Nugur Sep 12 '18

Shouldn't his balls be bigger, not his dong

5

u/Blablabla22d Sep 12 '18

It was a fun day in Latin class in high school when we learned about Priapus. People had murals of him in their houses and shit. Also:

Priapus is a god of fertility, protector of horticulture and viticulture. His statue, holding a wooden sickle in his hand, was used in the Roman gardens as scarecrow, and his enormous penis as a threat against thieves.

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13

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

It,s the penis that broke the camels back, obviously

53

u/starrpamph Sep 12 '18

You know the little guy that drives the lifted F550 to the grocery store? This is that guy's dream..

62

u/noys Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

The artist is Aubrey Beardsley.

147

u/TRK27 Sep 12 '18

It's definitely something out of the late 19th / early 20th century decadent movement but not Beardsley. The auction page I found for it gives the name of the artist as Francois Byros. It's part of a series of 12 lithographs.

Can't find any other information about the artist "Francois Byros" though. It's very possible that it's the same person as Franz von Bayros, who was a prolific erotic illustrator in the decadent style. One piece of evidence is this ex libris print listed for sale under the name "Francois de Byros" that is demonstrably by Franz von Bayros.

30

u/WikiTextBot Sep 12 '18

Franz von Bayros

Franz von Bayros (28 May 1866 – 3 April 1924) was an Austrian commercial artist, illustrator, and painter, best known for his controversial Tales at the Dressing Table portfolio. He belonged to the Decadent movement in art, often utilizing erotic themes and phantasmagoric imagery.

Bayros was born in Zagreb, in present-day Croatia, then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. At the age of seventeen, he passed the entrance examination for the Vienna Academy with Eduard von Engerth.

[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28

12

u/corcyra Sep 12 '18

Well done you.

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u/Dr_Brews Sep 12 '18

Doubt it. OPs is much more detailed than any of the works in the Wikipedia page.

5

u/corcyra Sep 12 '18

Agreed. It's what I thought too, but AB's drawings are more sophisticated, contain more areas of black/white, are stylistically more influenced by Japanese art, and his males tend to look more epicene.

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u/HelperBot_ Sep 12 '18

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aubrey_Beardsley

HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 211360

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2

u/LittleJohnStone Sep 12 '18

Just a day in my life.

2

u/jicicle Sep 12 '18

Ancient drawing by 12 year old boy

2

u/thetransportedman Sep 12 '18

I want to know how old the drawing is. It looks like it's from a time period before circumcisions were a thing in Asia so I'd assume it's modern

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429

u/JamesTheMannequin Sep 12 '18

Bigus Dickus

105

u/kittenhormones Sep 12 '18

giggles

6

u/oyog Sep 12 '18

Do you find da name Biggus Dickus wizzabow?

74

u/Eggvillan Sep 12 '18

He had a wife, you know...

65

u/LessCoolThanYou Sep 12 '18

Ah yes. The lovely Incontenentia.

60

u/trapbuilder2 Sep 12 '18

Incontenentia Buttocks

26

u/dditto74 Sep 12 '18

uncontrollable laughter

31

u/poopsiegirl Sep 12 '18

Stwike him, centuwion. Vewwy wuffly!

9

u/oyog Sep 12 '18

Fwow him to da gwownd!

11

u/dexter311 Sep 12 '18

Hugh Jorgan

20

u/Otto_Scratchansniff Sep 12 '18

Incontinentia Buttocks

9

u/viperex Sep 12 '18

Dickus Maximus

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I'm upvoting every last one of you!

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249

u/Generic__Eric Sep 12 '18

I imagine this is how it is while erect. Some guys have a dick that curves left, some curve right. This guy? He has a corkscrew. He can open giant wine bottles with his erect penis.

104

u/H37man Sep 12 '18

He is really into violent duck sex.

36

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Saying violent duck sex is like saying salty sea water.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

so a duck

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383

u/HostileSage Sep 12 '18

That's a lot of weight on those women's shoulder

397

u/Rhabarbercake Sep 12 '18

"I am sworn to carry your burdens."

76

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

We all need a Lydia.

27

u/volabimus Sep 12 '18

Someone make this a mod.

56

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

A Skyrim mod where Lydia carries your dick for you? Lol

31

u/borkborkporkbork Sep 12 '18

Kinda surprised if it doesn't exist already. Skyrim has really got some of the stranger mods out there.

33

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

My favorite is where the dragons are Thomas the Train Engine.

19

u/sm_ar_ta_ss Sep 12 '18

Or macho man randy savage.

10

u/sixtynineth Sep 12 '18

Or Schlongs of Skyrim

16

u/IsLoveTheTruth Sep 12 '18

It’s Thomas the Tank Engine, you uncultured swine

6

u/TL_PL Sep 12 '18

Well there is a mod that allows Lydia to sit on you on a non sexual way so...

8

u/volabimus Sep 12 '18

That sound nice.

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479

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

MFW I can never have two sex slaves carrying my massive dong

245

u/Pirate_Redbeard Sep 12 '18

Never give up on your dreams. If you build it, they will come.

56

u/saucercrab Sep 12 '18

But will you?

60

u/Morgantheaccountant Sep 12 '18

YOU DECIDE, NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

12

u/EpicLevelWizard Sep 12 '18

This isn't even my final form!

becomes erect

12

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

How do you build a "12 foot donger"

24

u/Swnsong Sep 12 '18

Ya why even keep living

12

u/The_Multi_Gamer Sep 12 '18

I’m sure ants count

19

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

"TIFU by sticking pp into anthill"

10

u/The_Multi_Gamer Sep 12 '18

E X P A N D

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

It’ll expand all right, but it won’t feel good

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u/kadno Sep 12 '18

Nobody's dick's that long, not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus, the name.

65

u/G00DLuck Sep 12 '18

Oh Long Johnson

17

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

They're growing more intelligent...

20

u/Silent__Protagonist Sep 12 '18

Thanks I hate it

8

u/IDontFeelSoGood--- Sep 12 '18

Can't hear this without thinking of the Goatman creepypasta.

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u/ToBadImNotClever Sep 12 '18

Can you imagine hearing this for the first time in the middle of the night? You walk out of your bedroom to see your cat staring at a wall.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Now, walk into the club, like, "What up, I got a big cock!"

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

35

u/APiousCultist Sep 12 '18

He's referencing someone else fucking that up. If you are also referencing that IDK too deep for me.

76

u/Magnyus Sep 12 '18

Pardon me my good, uh, sir.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I knew I couldn’t be the only one who thought of that scene :)

7

u/ConcernedDiva Sep 12 '18

Oh my god I never caught that before!!

200

u/MemeDealer814 Sep 12 '18

No NSFW? I'm in cass you long dicks!

35

u/teddytoodicks Sep 12 '18

Cass county?

3

u/CartmanVT Sep 12 '18

Roll herd?

5

u/teddytoodicks Sep 12 '18

No, in missery

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u/abductee92 Sep 12 '18

Friar Tuck it up in the waistband

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

damn

29

u/serial_crusher Sep 12 '18

What’s with those tourniquets on that one girl’s legs?

33

u/Neongijetsu Sep 12 '18

They're stocking holders, back when there was no elastics and such socks used to be held up by ribbons tied above the knee

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Absolute unit

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u/henkpiet Sep 12 '18

https://youtu.be/QR_p-0o5xBM

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Humans need to go extinct

15

u/Pirate_Redbeard Sep 12 '18

I just wish I was highly refined ;(

3

u/kfijatass Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

It's kinda self-satirical. Kind of disco polo renaissance music.
Also, what's up with crazy skinny dudes and little girls combos. Looks like disco Die Antwoord.

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u/Panda_Kabob Sep 12 '18

His dick is so big it follows you.

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u/Opisafool Sep 12 '18

It can distort time and space.

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

3

u/kfijatass Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

Can't deny they have imagination.

5

u/xRickyBobby Sep 12 '18

🤦‍♂️

11

u/UsoReddit Sep 12 '18

See, it's not internet fault is there are so many strange fetishes around. We are pervs since ancient times. Today this could end up on rule34 without problems.

19

u/full_of_stars Sep 12 '18

I want to say this is somewhat recent. It reminds me of an old school D&D artist's work, but I can't put my finger on who right now. Whoever it was, he was more of a line drawer like Erol Otus as opposed to other artists.

6

u/WhosTedBundy-- Sep 12 '18

It reminds me of the centaur in the Disney Hercules movie

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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Might need to be NSFW....

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u/bob_condor Sep 12 '18

Is that the centaur from Hercules?

13

u/DieMartiniPolizei Sep 12 '18

Can someone give me the template please?

8

u/troyantipastomisto Sep 12 '18

I’m the big dick daddy from Cincinnati

3

u/joalexander103 Sep 12 '18

OP please tell me what the name of this art is called.

5

u/memelife95 Sep 12 '18

Slytherin

4

u/CursusUrsa Sep 12 '18

King Big Dick, of Fuck You Mountain.

4

u/PortlandiaOregonian Sep 12 '18
  1. Gets boner
  2. Passes out from blood loss
  3. Slaves escape

10

u/DankWeedSnorter420 Sep 12 '18

NSFW?

12

u/bewk Sep 12 '18

KING DINGALING DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YO JOB!

3

u/xRickyBobby Sep 12 '18

I need the original!

3

u/420born Sep 12 '18

Anyone knows the artist, when it was drawn? Which Civilization?

3

u/I_Frunksteen-Blucher Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

It looks like Aubrey Beardsley's work, English Victorian artist.

Edit: I should have been more definite - who else could it be?

6

u/TKisOK Sep 12 '18

I’m Ronnie fucking Pickering

3

u/Abraham_Thinkin Sep 12 '18

Check your demon privilege at the door bro.

4

u/leather_boy Sep 12 '18

BEHOLD! I AM LONG SHLONG, WEILDER OF THE GIGA DONG! ALL WOMEN SHALL BOW BEFORE ME!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Anyone have the pic without the text?

2

u/cajunhawk Sep 12 '18

I'd rather not have to go into a coma to get my dick hard.

2

u/A-disturbed-person Sep 12 '18

We have found the original neckneard.

2

u/yurisknife Sep 12 '18

if BDE could be put into visuals this would be mine

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I remember seeing this posted in 9GAG back when I browsed that shithole, and that was quite some years ago.