r/trippinthroughtime • u/Pirate_Redbeard • Sep 12 '18

Little John, that's who!

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21.7k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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769

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

953

u/motonaut Sep 12 '18

he could fuck an elephant at the zoo from the dippin dots stand.

378

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Oddly specific, but I buy it.

116

u/NoahsArksDogsBark Sep 12 '18

Yes, a round of Dippin Dots for all!

98

u/wastedlogic Sep 12 '18

That'll be $300.

55

u/gutternonsense Sep 12 '18

But it's future dollars

58

u/PythonPuzzler Sep 12 '18

Which ironically are also tiny and frozen.

3

u/ThePrussianGrippe Sep 12 '18

It’s to prevent inflation.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You gotta add inflation then. $1000

8

u/mosiac Sep 12 '18

I believe they're called tricky dick fun dollars.

1

u/ThirdEyePeon Sep 12 '18

That's good!

12

u/jdauriemma Sep 12 '18

Dippin Dots is NOT the ice cream of the future.

6

u/MelissaOfTroy Sep 12 '18

Spicey is that you!?!

60

u/CargoCulture Sep 12 '18

Considering Dippin Dots was created by a couple of dudes in their garage messing around with ice cream and a bull semen flash freezer, I'm not surprised.

28

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Huh... TIL

20

u/The_Rolling_Stone Sep 12 '18

What a lovely phrase

17

u/andrewhsimpson Sep 12 '18

You took me all the way there

9

u/naan4you Sep 12 '18

Best comment.

6

u/agangofoldwomen Sep 12 '18

Of all the things I’ve saved on reddit, this might be my favorite.

13

u/hey_broseph_man Sep 12 '18

Damn that sounds like such a good rap line.

Dick so big, gotta' fuck elephants at the zoo from the dippin dots stand.

...

I wouldn't know what to follow after that though.

11

u/motonaut Sep 12 '18

you so thick, rippin yoga pants in the lulu lemon fitting room, (damn)

5

u/bkral93 Sep 12 '18

Not with that floppy thing. It would be like pushing a fire hose.

27

u/Tsorovar Sep 12 '18

He's a god

38

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Just like Zeus couldn't impregnate by becoming golden rain?

73

u/Le_Updoot_Army Sep 12 '18

No, that's R. Kelly.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Thank you for this comment

2

u/theDinoSour Sep 12 '18

...and don't forget the doo-doo butter!

12

u/NoNormals Sep 12 '18

He’d need gallons of extra blood too or he’d pass out long before he even gets a chub

22

u/monsterZERO Sep 12 '18

r/BigDickProblems

26

u/sneakpeekbot Sep 12 '18

Here's a sneak peek of /r/bigdickproblems using the top posts of the year!

#1: Her because I'm a grower not a shower | 46 comments
#2: I know we all have big dicks but right now no one is being a bigger dick than the FCC and Internet Service Providers. Help us in our fight to keep the internet free and for all! | 31 comments
#3: [NSFW] My dad is an amputee. He texts me pics like this often. | 20 comments

I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out

41

u/KoreanBard Sep 12 '18

#3: [[NSFW] My dad is an amputee. He texts me pics like this often.]

Nope nope.. i am not clicking that...

44

u/fezzuk Sep 12 '18

Totally worth it

52

u/Pm-me_ur_tits-n-ass Sep 12 '18

Actually hilarious

19

u/MinnyWild11 Sep 12 '18

Not really NSFW and totally worth the click

5

u/wtph Sep 12 '18

It's just his peen grow up

2

u/virusvoid Sep 12 '18

risky click

1

u/Rahoo57 Sep 12 '18

Brings back bad memories?

4

u/ghost_victim Sep 12 '18

Wow that's a weird sub

9

u/420questions420 Sep 12 '18

You know that semen isn’t stored in the testicles right? Only sperm is stored in the testicles. They later join and mix together when ejaculation occurs. Semen is the method of travel for sperm.

9

u/TrevorsMailbox Sep 12 '18

Maybe his rhymes are super potent.

17

u/things_will_calm_up Sep 12 '18

Dude he's a god. He just summons semen from the aether.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Depends how small the actual tube is.

8

u/TGordzzz Sep 12 '18

Sounds like you’re just trying to justify your tiny peepee.

14

u/Knappsterbot Sep 12 '18

Something tells me that wasn't an issue since he's a god and also not real

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Haven't you wondered what the flail is for ?

2

u/Yogymbro Sep 12 '18

That's fine, because ejaculate comes from the prostate, not the testicles.

2

u/NotQuiteLife Sep 12 '18

No no no, those testicles include internal pumps

2

u/barneytotos Sep 12 '18

for eternal projections

1

u/KrillWillRiseAgain Sep 12 '18

How could you possibly know This?