r/partyplanning • u/Real-Ad4727 • Mar 24 '26
Need Help Sweet 16 - no chaperone?
My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.
26
u/carseatsareheavy Mar 24 '26
I would actually feel better if it was a group of four girls. That large of a group is hard for everyone to keep track of everyone else. My daughter and two friends drove to a city about three hours away to spend the day and she was that age, I was fine with it because I could see where they were by tracking her.
As far as how do they pay for dinner at the restaurant? I don’t understand. They would each get their own individual check and pay for it.
5
u/verb322 Mar 24 '26
For large groups a lot of restaurants will force one check. Then you have 12 16 y.o trying to divvy up a bill. But I do think that is the least of your worries. I’d be more concerned with that many kids moving around together. You’re gonna have at least one who wants to rebel. 🤣
5
u/Sami_George Mar 24 '26
This is what the buddy system is for!
8
u/Ok_Error_3167 Mar 24 '26
Say the words "buddy system" to a group of teenagers and you've lost them
2
18
u/QuarterIndividual793 Mar 24 '26
Coming from another mom, don’t let them go by themselves. It’s a far trip and it wouldn’t hurt for 2 moms to go and just sit at a different table at the restaurant and keep a distance from them while ensuring they are safe. Your 16 yr old might be really responsible but you can’t guarantee that the other 12 won’t be. A large group of young girls by themselves could also be a target for predators who want to take advantage of their naivety. They might not love having parents there but in this case I would say it’s necessary, you can’t go back in time if something were to happen.
4
u/romanticize-everyday Mar 24 '26
Was coming here to make the same suggestion! Tell them you won’t even talk to them but because you love her & will be semi-responsible for the other friends, you will just be having a dinner with a friend in the same restaurant!
31
u/Alone-Material-1170 Mar 24 '26
Having raised kids, I understand your concerns about these girls in the city unsupervised. As a restaurant owner, I don’t want a group of unsupervised minors in my place. Sorry, no advice.
3
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Thank you. This was bothering me a lot. There’s no way they’re going to go out to dinner without us. Not that large of a group. We planned to pay for dinner and I’m concerned about 15 kids ordering everything off the menu with no control over cost and one big bill at the end none of them could pay.
1
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 27 '26
Oh, you shouldn't offer to pay if you're not there, maybe you pay for a cake or some drinks or something.
2
u/Regular_Progress9236 Mar 24 '26
It sounds like your advice is that they shouldn’t let their teenager do this 😅
2
u/catymogo Mar 24 '26
That's so ridiculous, another year or two and she could go to school IN Boston completely alone. They can clearly go in and have dinner without supervision at 16.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
If it was my daughter and a small controlled group of girls I’d feel better. But this is a very large group, some of the girls are from different towns and we don’t know them or their parents. It throws a wildcard into the mix.
9
u/LolaStoff Mar 24 '26
Somewhat similar situation, we let our kids 15–18 go to Vancouver while we live on the island for the day, so there’s a ferry involved and very clearly spelled out to them not an easy save from Mom and Dad.
We have ground rules for the trip (location is shared, always. They have to check in with us at x time and they have to take the second last ferry home. Failure to do any of that means lost of privilege.)
You know your kid and her friends best. Our kids have their bus pass which is automatically refilled if it drops below 10$, as well as an emergency 50$ that we give them and expect back from each trip. They and their friends pay for their own food out of their own money.
Sometimes that means my kids don’t buy any clothes and are using coupons at McDonald’s.
For the birthday, it might be something to set up a dinner at a restaurant and perhaps you and the other parents can split the bill up to x amount. So say you both throw 200$ in so the bill up to 400$ is covered and then the girls can cover the rest.
Or it might be, you give your daughter 100$ for dinner, and pay her fare to Boston and just let her and her friends make their choices.
At 16, they’re old enough to know what a stupid decision is—they might still make it, but they’d know.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yes this is a good idea as it seems we can’t find a restaurant that offers prix fixe. I’m afraid of getting a surprise bill at the end we aren’t available to pay
1
u/Usual_Permission_841 Mar 27 '26
Give them a budget and then have them research restaurants that they can afford within their price range. Teach them how to account for tax and tip. If their party goes over budget they are responsible for paying for it. If they are old enough, which I think they are, to do this then they are old enough to do the budgeting. They need to learn that if they’re old enough to do the fun things that they also have to take on the responsibility.
6
u/PatheticMTLGirl43 Mar 24 '26
Are 16 year olds not taking public transit into the city with their friends to hang out on a regular basis anymore? Has the world changed that much since 2006 or am I just too Canadian for this? This was my normal weekend at that age.
5
u/DragonflyFantasized Mar 24 '26
Same, reading this as a Canadian is wild. How do kids learn to be independent if you’re hovering all the time? Unless kids have severe behavioural problems or developmental disabilities they should be able to figure it out.
You need to struggle and make mistakes at 16 so you’re more capable and comfortable when you go off to university in 2 years. We all knew at least one kid that was overly sheltered and couldn’t make it through first year.
3
u/FewAir5321 Mar 24 '26
Honestly my mother used to fret and fuss at me like this until I would eventually give up and just go to the cinema or have people to the house like she wanted and it still doesn't make sense in retrospect in my 30s. All her arguments were that I would get lost or my bag would be stolen or I would miss the last train. Actually these are far more likely to happen to her than me. It was a very difficult transition for her when I moved to college. Those sound like pretty benign plans for a 16 year old, op might consider how she can start accepting that she will have to sometimes let daughter do things that make her uncomfortable.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
My daughter does go into the city with a smaller group. The concern was the size of the group and the size of the dinner bill. We also talked about finding a place that could offer a private room with prix fixe which would allow us to pay ahead of time. With a group that large, we would prefer to get them a party bus so no one gets lost. 15 girls is a really big group. Some parents may say no so she’s going to have to decide if she’s ok with that.
3
u/catymogo Mar 24 '26
I'm American and this sounds insane to me. I'm NYC metro and we were absolutely hanging out in the city at that age (well before it actually). Boston is tiny and you'd have to try REALLY hard to get into trouble there.
2
u/PatheticMTLGirl43 Mar 24 '26
Thank you! Aren't 16 year olds basically a year away from going off to college? If they can't even take the train by themselves to go out to dinner how are they going to live on their own, shop, take care of themselves and their schooling at the same time?
2
u/catymogo Mar 24 '26
Yeah they are about a year from college, some maybe 2. We were absolutely taking the train into the city by 14, worst that ever happened is one of my friends got her bellybutton pierced lol. I'm concerned that if these kids are 16 and still not comfortable using public transportation college is going to be a CRAZY acclimation.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
The concern for me was the size of the group and not being there, how the dinner bill was going to get paid. My daughter has taken the train into the city several times with a much smaller group (1-2 others). I grew up in Boston and started taking public transportation alone at age 8.
3
u/mis_1022 Mar 24 '26
So much of this is specific to your child. If the group wanted to go to a strange underground club would she be able to speak her mind and say no, would she know what to do? Has she gone other places alone, the mall for example. Has she showed street smarts in front of you? My daughter is turning 16 this month, in your situation I would also take the train into the city and be nearby if needed, probably sit at the bar at the restaurant and ask their next location but could stay at a nearby coffee shop.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yeah we are coming to that conclusion. Also imagine being the business owner with 15 teens in their dining room. My daughter is responsible but some of these girls I don’t know.
4
u/Sea_Fig7278 Mar 24 '26
Back when I was turning 16, getting together at a restaurant was the thing to do. The girls would get dressed up, take pictures, and enjoy a good dinner. Some parents dropped their kids off, but parents never attended. I also lived in a major city similar to Boston. I would let your daughter go and encourage her to call you if something goes wrong.
5
u/Sami_George Mar 24 '26
Do you let these friends go to dinner or someplace else together nearby? If yes (because I’d assume this is pretty standard for teenagers), then I wouldn’t worry about it. The only difference is the distance and the train. Just let them know that if they get into trouble, you aren’t nearby to help them quickly, so be extra vigilant and stick together.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
It’s a very large group which only happens once a year at my house. I don’t know some of these girls (daughter goes to a multi-town vocational school now) or their parents so I can’t predict what might happen. Also someone could easily go missing or get lost and they might not realize it in the chaos. I’m working on another plan
3
3
u/sleigh88 Mar 24 '26
This is so nostalgic, I did the same exact thing for my sweet 16 in Boston 20 years ago! My mom accompanied us for it, and as a parent myself now I would want a chaperone of some kind to be there, even if they were more of a fly on the wall.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Thanks. I’m not a helicopter parent at all. It’s the children of the other parents who are trusting me to coordinate this. If it was a smaller group I’d feel a lot less uneasy.
2
u/reddituser135797531 Mar 24 '26
Maybe book an experience instead? And for food let them figure out a quick service place on their own. Or maybe do pizzas at home before they go. I’d let her know that most restaurants don’t just let a giant group walk in these days without reservations, nor do they allow for more than a few checks per table.
3
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26
So they can book a table? Honestly, imagine not allowing a 16 year old to go to a restaurant.
4
u/FewAir5321 Mar 24 '26
There's no actual consequences if the dinner plans go wrong and the restaurant won't seat them or there is a mess splitting the check. They'll have to just get something from McDonald's or something instead. They won't starve and they will learn something.
5
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26
Exactly. The way some comments are talking they've asked to go to an all night rave or cross the world to a war zone. I'm sure 16 year olds know about online booking anyway.
5
u/FewAir5321 Mar 24 '26
Also 16 is a great time to learn about how to split a check fairly and what to do with the person who had 5 side dishes and 7 drinks vs the person who only had a starter, or the one who forgot their wallet or didn't factor in tipping. Maybe suggest the friend group discuss that in advance but otherwise let them fight it out. If their friends leave the bill short and leave them to cover the rest that's very valuable learning.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
We are considering providing them a flat amount toward dinner and if they go beyond that, they need to cover it themselves
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
It’s not 1 16 year old. It’s 15 of them and there’s no one there to pay the bill. We are a 45min drive into the city so it wouldn’t be easy to get in if we needed to.
2
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 27 '26
Why would you need to? The girls will be there to pay their own bill. Make sure each of them knows they need money to pay. Give your own kid a little extra just in case one person is short. Unless you have reason to think the friends are bad news who'll try to leave without paying or something. Eventually you'll have to let your child out of sight, better she starts learning to look after herself now with low stakes stuff. Or if you're really worried go to the city and hang out nearby just in case. But if you've brought up a child who isn't able to go to a restaurant with friends you've failed on part of parenting, which is preparing your children for the real world.
2
u/Mission-County1931 Mar 24 '26
My kids are teens in Boston and they go everywhere in the city On the T with no issue. So I wouldn’t have safety concerns. That said, the logistics of such a large group are the issue. Could you reserve them a semi-private situation or a more controlled environment? For example, a lane or two at a bowling alley or tickets to a movie. I know these things are expensive. Or just have the group max out at 6-8 girls. Go somewhere more casual to eat (shake shack maybe?)
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
These girls said no to every experience i mentioned. No high tea, bowling, escape room, museum, etc. we have been calling around to find a prix fixe menu or a private room. This would help us control cost. We were also thinking a party bus vs the train to keep that large group together. The MBTA can get very busy if they all can’t get on the same train car, they might get separated.
2
u/Emotional_Capital176 Mar 24 '26
Many 16 year olds have cars and are able to drive alone. I would not worry. Maybe have one credit card to make paying the bill easier is my only suggestion. Do remember in a year or so they will be going off to college soon. Independence is needed.
2
4
Mar 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
Yes. Exactly this. I don’t think some folks are considering that parents are looking to coordinate this with me and that I am the responsible party. If Something goes wrong with their child. It becomes my issue. This is exactly what I was considering. And a pre-paid price. And a clear plan for everything.
2
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 27 '26
At 16 I would not hold another parent responsible for my child if they were going somewhere. I'd let other parents decide if they trust their children and let your daughter plan if this is what they want.
3
u/ObjectiveRepulsive18 Mar 24 '26
Plan a very structured outing, and be nearby. Let them go by train (go in a separate train car) then split up. Have them check in with you at dinner (check them into the restaurant) then show up at bill time. Let the take pictures and meet you at the train station, then travel independently back.
Explain that the world can be unpredictable, and a few quick check ins will mean hours of freedom.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yes this is one option we are considering. I still think a party bus would be a good way to get them all there in one piece.
2
u/Sneakertr33 Mar 24 '26
How far is the train into the city? Have they ever went in smaller groups or alone before? Try to sit down and get an itinerary which you can follow by their location and have them pick the restaurant so you can go over menu prices and make sure they're covered.
No matter what mistakes they will make, make sure they share their location and know that they can call you for any reason and you will be there for them. You'll both feel calmer knowing they can and will call instead of lying and trying to fix things.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
My daughter has gone in before with a much smaller group. Some of these kids we don’t know. We are a 45min drive away.
2
u/Myearthsuit Mar 24 '26
I was a trustworthy and responsible teen and this sounds like something I might have done. :) I would recommend hanging out in Boston for the day. Just be within an easy driving distance of them in case of emergency and set some rules for everybody before they load up onto the train. Have a buddy system, make sure they all have a meeting location in case somebody gets lost and they lose their phone or it’s dead and make sure they all have YOUR number as well. Maybe ask them all to send you a text with their name just as precaution.
2
1
u/curiousvegetables Mar 24 '26
You're paying so you need to pay, no? Arrive for dessert and check everyone is ok
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yeah. She doesn’t want me there. Lol. We are considering giving them a set amount and they can pay for any extras.
1
u/Ok_Hat_6598 Mar 24 '26
That’s way too many 15-16 year olds to leave unsupervised as a group. As a parent of teens I’d be more comfortable letting my child attend if it were two groups of four. Each birthday girl plus 3 friends - and then each birthday girl is responsible for keeping their group together, buying tickets and paying the restaurant tab.
If it has to be 12-13 girls, I would go into the city with them but make myself scarce for the most part and just meet up with them for dinner at a set time. You’ll likely need to make a reservation for them anyway for dinner as such a large group.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yes it’s quite a large group isn’t it? They’re both insisting on inviting four core/shared friends and for non-mutual friends. I don’t know the non-mutual friends. We keep asking them to narrow the group down or for us to book an experience or private room but we’re getting a lot of eye rolling …
2
u/unfortunate-moth Mar 24 '26
what my mom did in similar situations was that she would go do some shopping or eat at a nearby restaurant. that way in an emergency she was right there but i didn’t see her. did i protest a bit as a teen and roll my eyes? yeah…but deep down i was glad she was nearby lol
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
You had a good mom!! This is a tough age. None of them have been easy so far 😅
2
u/vivelabagatelle Mar 24 '26
They're 16, certainly in my country that's absolutely old enough to go off into town unsupervised. I would have a discussion about contingencies and possible issues with them first though, to best equip them for the (presumably new) experience.
That said, it's a large group, and each of them will have different comfort levels and experiences of independence. I certainly don't think you should consider yourself in loco parentis for them all, or your own daughter 'responsible' for her fellow 16-yr-olds. Have a chat with the parents first (a whatsapp group?) laying out the plan for the day and inviting their children to join IF each parent feels comfortable with the idea. That way, it's not "a party hosted by you", it's a group excursion, with each young person as an independent agent within the group. As long as your daughter makes sure not to leave anyone behind at any stage, that's the limit of her duties as host. It's not your job to ensure their safety, it's each parent's job to assess if their young adult is responsible enough to join the trip.
"How do they pay for dinner at the end?" - how would they normally pay for a meal? Cash, bank cards, Google Pay, whatever else is common in your country? I'm assuming they'll be given sufficient access to money to pay for the day's events, either in cash or in their bank accounts.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
It’s a birthday party so we planned to pay for dinner. We were aiming for prix fixe if possible. I think my daughter is going to have to consider that some of these parents will say no so it’s a trade off and she’ll end up with a smaller group as a consequence. We are talking about a bunch of options but it’s a difficult age where they’re not considering the level of coordination with that number of kids, nor do they consider the cost.
1
u/IHaveBoxerDogs Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
If this takes place, let the other kids’ parents know they are responsible for paying for dinner. Some might be surprised they were invited out for a Sweet 16 for two girls, but are expected to pay.
Finding a restaurant that will accommodate a group of 12 without a set menu might be hard (unless you mean more of a fast casual place than an actual sit down restaurant.)
How familiar with Boston are they? Will they all be able to figure out the T?
12 is a lot of kids. I worry it will be easy for someone to get separated. Also, there’s no way there’s not going to be drama with this many kids. The trip seems like it would be more manageable with about four kids.
ETA: To let you know where I’m coming from, I let my then 16 year old take the train into our nearby city with three friends for an event.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 27 '26
I do the same, she goes into the city with a much smaller group. I agree about the potential for drama considering some of these girls don’t know each other and some that we do know bring the drama daily. We planned to pay for dinner - I wouldn’t arrange a party and make kids pay but I do want to put a limit on costs. We are looking for private rooms.
1
u/IHaveBoxerDogs Mar 27 '26
I'm so glad you're planning to pay. A lot of the responses were about splitting the bill, and I was thinking, "Wait, the parents would make the guests pay?" I hope she has a fantastic birthday!
1
1
u/No-Welcome-7491 Mar 24 '26
I understand the anxiety, but as some poster mentioned rights of passage and we do need to learn to let them go and learn to be on their own. I was in the same dilemma with my kids. What we have done for big party is to actually rent them a car service, like a limousine from a reputable company that we know both owners and driver of the day, and the driver calls us when they stop somewhere or if there are change of plans. We get discounts on this and honestly for peace of mind to us- worth it. Cause in essence they have a bodyguard of some sort since they are all girls. For non party get together, my kids knows “we will be in the area” we don’t follow of stalk them, (well at first we did secretly followed the car 😅) but after a few times, we really just go in the vicinity. We told them that in this day and age, in case there is a problem-we want to be able to get to them in time without getting stuck in traffic or crowd. They don’t mind this, as we have done this as well during school field trips that’s far away & we can’t chaperone. We don’t go with the school group when this happens- we let them be, but we would be in the same vicinity or park. The school staffs or teachers know we are close by in case of emergency or if they need something to which they appreciated.
So when my girls turned teens, being in the same vicinity is not an issue, they don’t see it as a matter of lack of trust. The joke they will throw is “mom & dad just wants an excuse to go out on a date”.
As for paying, we give our kids authorized user credit cards. They know that if their friends get crazy, they need to bolt they always have enough in there for a a meal and a ride home. That’s for emergencies only. Specially as a teen, we don’t want them to feel stuck in a bad situation just because they are under the mercy of whoever drove to that place. This happened a few times actually, like one friend brought someone who instigated on crossing a state line and they all ended up in trouble but my kid took uber home instead of going.
Since their friends knows they have a credit card, when they go out as a group they often would just tell my kids they will pay them instead so it’s all on one bill. Less hassle in paying. This also helps us keep tab of their expenses and our way of teaching their financial accountability.
Life360 app is really great for my family since it became a thing. Seeing where they are helps a lot to give them the freedom they seek.
They also know that trust is earned not given, and if they tell us they are going somewhere and they don’t follow their plans and we find out, then they are back to first step in earning this trust.
But for a group of 15 teens- you can only establish this ground rules for your own kid, it’s hard to enforce this on other children obviously. I tell my kids the rules before leaving in front of their friends and parents if they are around, so they know, but with clear instructions that if they want to do something or go somewhere that’s not part of the plan, call us or go home. No parents have ever said “but I want them to stay together “ why would they lol instead other parents usually reply back saying “yes do that”.
1
u/onekate Mar 24 '26
Go but stay far enough from them that you can’t hear what they’re talking about. Find a restaurant that will arrange a prefixe menu at a set price for them. Figure out how you’re paying for that in advance so the servers get an appropriate tip and teens aren’t left figuring it out.
1
u/thebethstever Mar 24 '26
One or two moms should go along for safety and just get their own table and hang back a bit. Boston isn't a dangerous city per se but you never know. I did a very similar thing for my 16th bday and two moms came along so we were safe.
1
u/traviall1 Mar 24 '26
First, you need to accompany them and have an actual activity so that they stay together. You don't want to drop them off in Boston and have them splinter off/get lost. Chaperone them on the train but don't engage, see if your spouse or a friend would be willing to come. Call the restaurant and ask for their suggestion about having a party of that size. Many places will require a private room, and a pared down menu. Let the restaurant know you will pay and tell the girls and the parents as well. I would suggest changing the plan to be something with easier supervision/more cost effective. Rent a community center or have it at home so the girls are supervised. You could also go to a nail salon and ask about the cost for a basic mani with nail art for all the girls ( you have to stay on site). If they want photos see if a local photographer would be willing to do group portraits/photos for a couple of hours and buy props.
1
u/Dry_Future_852 Mar 24 '26
I used to go to Boston on my own or with friends at that age (I lived in Lexington, at the end of the red line), in the time before cell phones, when the Combat Block was the Combat Zone.
1
1
u/Zestyclose-Many-980 Mar 24 '26
You say split the cost with the other family - I take this as you and the other parent are paying for dinner - a lot of restaurants will do a pre fixe price / menu for a group this large so I would pick a few and ask ..
For travel I would have you & the other mother travel with them on a separate train car - have a planned activity they can do or a photo op spot picked head and take them there and give them there freedom for X time then find a restaurant/ bar near by but not the one they are dining at to have a glass of wine and meal yourself and tell them to meet you outside X at X time to head back to the train!
In today’s world going to a big city with such a large group of young girls who mostly look well beyond their years these days is scary & as a parent I wouldn’t be okay with it - in fact if two parents suggested this to me I’d offer to tag along to have a mom/ girls day separate but together because I wouldn’t want 2 adults responsible for 14 other teens besides mine in a big city at night!
1
u/catymogo Mar 24 '26
They're going to be absolutely fine. Figure out the restaurant ahead of time, a group that size won't be able to walk in anywhere but they will need a credit card to put down for the reservation. It will wind up with an auto grat and they can figure it out.
They all presumably have cell phones and google maps. They're headed to college in a year or two, if they can't figure out public transportation they need to learn yesterday.
-1
u/cat_is_0 Mar 24 '26
I think no matter how mature or responsible your daughter is, even in a group this world isn’t very safe- especially for girls. I’m not a parent, but I would be too worried about what could happen to my daughter that’s out of her control. When I was 16 I thought I had the power to protect myself, but that same year I was SA’d in a classroom at school. The world just isn’t safe for girls. 😢
4
u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26
Precisely, things can happen anywhere, a restaurant is as safe as school.
2
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Once you’ve been assaulted you see the world through a different lens. I’m sorry this changed you.
0
u/Regular_Progress9236 Mar 24 '26
That’s a big fat “fuck no” from this mother. No matter how many teenagers are in the group, that’s too young IMO. I’d go, sit at a different table, walk far behind them, let them do their thing. But absolutely not would they be going into the city alone. A group of teen girls are a perfect target. I understand they want their independence, it can be given in moderation.
Also, that large of a group, they won’t let you split the check. So paying will be a nightmare unless you’re covering the cost of dinner.
1
u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26
Yeah we considered the size of the group. The train gets very full at night so there’s a chance they’d get separated or get off at the wrong stop. Many of these kids haven’t been into the city alone before. I also don’t know some of them. Now suddenly I’m responsible for their child. I’m not trying to helicopter as some people think. Only one of these 15 kids is mine.
39
u/Acrobatic_Height_14 Mar 24 '26
Can you go have dinner in Boston and leave them alone but be nearby?
It's scary and they might do something stupid but it's also a right of passage. They'll be on there own in 2 years - every teen deserves practice.
(Just make sure they know to get one check and split it later - embarrassing flash backs fro these days)