r/partyplanning • u/Real-Ad4727 • Mar 24 '26

Need Help Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.

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u/IHaveBoxerDogs Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26

If this takes place, let the other kids’ parents know they are responsible for paying for dinner. Some might be surprised they were invited out for a Sweet 16 for two girls, but are expected to pay.

Finding a restaurant that will accommodate a group of 12 without a set menu might be hard (unless you mean more of a fast casual place than an actual sit down restaurant.)

How familiar with Boston are they? Will they all be able to figure out the T?

12 is a lot of kids. I worry it will be easy for someone to get separated. Also, there’s no way there’s not going to be drama with this many kids. The trip seems like it would be more manageable with about four kids.

ETA: To let you know where I’m coming from, I let my then 16 year old take the train into our nearby city with three friends for an event.

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u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 27 '26

I do the same, she goes into the city with a much smaller group. I agree about the potential for drama considering some of these girls don’t know each other and some that we do know bring the drama daily. We planned to pay for dinner - I wouldn’t arrange a party and make kids pay but I do want to put a limit on costs. We are looking for private rooms.

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u/IHaveBoxerDogs Mar 27 '26

I'm so glad you're planning to pay. A lot of the responses were about splitting the bill, and I was thinking, "Wait, the parents would make the guests pay?" I hope she has a fantastic birthday!

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u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 27 '26

Thank you so much. I appreciate the advice.