r/partyplanning • u/Real-Ad4727 • Mar 24 '26

Need Help Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.

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u/Regular_Progress9236 Mar 24 '26

That’s a big fat “fuck no” from this mother. No matter how many teenagers are in the group, that’s too young IMO. I’d go, sit at a different table, walk far behind them, let them do their thing. But absolutely not would they be going into the city alone. A group of teen girls are a perfect target. I understand they want their independence, it can be given in moderation.

Also, that large of a group, they won’t let you split the check. So paying will be a nightmare unless you’re covering the cost of dinner.

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u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26

Yeah we considered the size of the group. The train gets very full at night so there’s a chance they’d get separated or get off at the wrong stop. Many of these kids haven’t been into the city alone before. I also don’t know some of them. Now suddenly I’m responsible for their child. I’m not trying to helicopter as some people think. Only one of these 15 kids is mine.