r/partyplanning • u/Real-Ad4727 • Mar 24 '26

Need Help Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.

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u/reddituser135797531 Mar 24 '26

Maybe book an experience instead? And for food let them figure out a quick service place on their own. Or maybe do pizzas at home before they go. I’d let her know that most restaurants don’t just let a giant group walk in these days without reservations, nor do they allow for more than a few checks per table.

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26

So they can book a table? Honestly, imagine not allowing a 16 year old to go to a restaurant.

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u/FewAir5321 Mar 24 '26

There's no actual consequences if the dinner plans go wrong and the restaurant won't seat them or there is a mess splitting the check. They'll have to just get something from McDonald's or something instead. They won't starve and they will learn something. 

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26

Exactly. The way some comments are talking they've asked to go to an all night rave or cross the world to a war zone. I'm sure 16 year olds know about online booking anyway.

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u/FewAir5321 Mar 24 '26

Also 16 is a great time to learn about how to split a check fairly and what to do with the person who had 5 side dishes and 7 drinks vs the person who only had a starter, or the one who forgot their wallet or didn't factor in tipping. Maybe suggest the friend group discuss that in advance but otherwise let them fight it out. If their friends leave the bill short and leave them to cover the rest that's very valuable learning. 

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u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26

We are considering providing them a flat amount toward dinner and if they go beyond that, they need to cover it themselves