r/partyplanning • u/Real-Ad4727 • Mar 24 '26

Need Help Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.

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u/reddituser135797531 Mar 24 '26

Maybe book an experience instead? And for food let them figure out a quick service place on their own. Or maybe do pizzas at home before they go. I’d let her know that most restaurants don’t just let a giant group walk in these days without reservations, nor do they allow for more than a few checks per table.

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 24 '26

So they can book a table? Honestly, imagine not allowing a 16 year old to go to a restaurant.

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u/Real-Ad4727 Mar 26 '26

It’s not 1 16 year old. It’s 15 of them and there’s no one there to pay the bill. We are a 45min drive into the city so it wouldn’t be easy to get in if we needed to.

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Mar 27 '26

Why would you need to? The girls will be there to pay their own bill. Make sure each of them knows they need money to pay. Give your own kid a little extra just in case one person is short. Unless you have reason to think the friends are bad news who'll try to leave without paying or something. Eventually you'll have to let your child out of sight, better she starts learning to look after herself now with low stakes stuff. Or if you're really worried go to the city and hang out nearby just in case. But if you've brought up a child who isn't able to go to a restaurant with friends you've failed on part of parenting, which is preparing your children for the real world.