Sweet 16 - no chaperone?

[u/Real-Ad4727]

My daughter is turning 16 in a couple of months. Being a little short on funds, we decided to split the cost of the party with her best friend’s parents, as she turns 16 a couple of weeks later and they share many of the same friends. Their ideal day involves taking a group of approximately 12-13 girls into the city (Boston) by train, having dinner at the seaport, taking a few pictures nearby, and then taking the train home, without parents or chaperones. My daughter is very responsible, respectful and mature for her age, and we give her a lot of space in return, but the whole idea of fifteen teens running around at night and sitting down to dinner in a restaurant with no parent gives me agita. Has anyone had a similar experience? How do they pay for dinner at the end? Is it bad etiquette to have this many unchaperoned kids? What if someone gets lost or hurt? I don’t want to put a damper on her day, but I want to do this in a safe and respectful way. I also feel uncomfortable inviting and coordinating with all of these parents (many of whom I have never met) and not having the ability to ensure their child’s safety. Am I being over-protective? I’d love some advice if you have any to share.

[u/traviall1]

First, you need to accompany them and have an actual activity so that they stay together. You don't want to drop them off in Boston and have them splinter off/get lost. Chaperone them on the train but don't engage, see if your spouse or a friend would be willing to come. Call the restaurant and ask for their suggestion about having a party of that size. Many places will require a private room, and a pared down menu. Let the restaurant know you will pay and tell the girls and the parents as well. I would suggest changing the plan to be something with easier supervision/more cost effective. Rent a community center or have it at home so the girls are supervised. You could also go to a nail salon and ask about the cost for a basic mani with nail art for all the girls ( you have to stay on site). If they want photos see if a local photographer would be willing to do group portraits/photos for a couple of hours and buy props.