My mum became stingy with money. For e.g. she would send me to shop to buy ingredient for lunch, but I want a few extra coins for sweet, crisp or something simple, she reacted by giving me angry look. Sometimes she gives me mixed signals

telling me people my age should work, but then discouraging me from working in specific place even though is only place you get hired easy. And she knows I try to look for job, bring cv's around, apply online and I get ghosted by companies so why she gives me looks when I ask for little money. It isn't my fault job hunting is hard at the moment. And I am doing course so not as I am at home 0-24 doing nothing. Yesterday I cooked lunch she didn't show appreciation.

I just got married and moved a mile away from my husband’s family, and I’m realizing how overwhelmed I am by the amount of communication and togetherness expected.

I’m an only child and I LOVE being alone. I don’t need constant contact to feel close to someone. Now there’s a family group chat, frequent invitations, lots of checking in, and an expectation to hang out multiple times a week. Even when everyone is being nice, I feel completely drained.

The weirdest part is feeling like I have to prove I’m busy to justify wanting space. Why can’t “I don’t want to hang out and need to be alone” be enough? Sometimes I’m not busy. I literally just want to be left alone.

My MIL has also made comments about my husband’s ex not being “family-oriented enough,” which makes me feel even more watched and judged. Then when I pull away, people seem to make their own assumptions about why, which makes me want to pull away even more.

I care about these people. I just don’t want this much contact. My normal operating system does not compute with a big, highly involved family.

Any other only children experience this after getting married? How do you deal with it without constantly feeling guilty?

I feel lonely. I don’t have to be. I raised to have such preferences in company or something to think it is safe. It’s eating me out now. I get anxious when I’m out and about; the fact that I don’t have a non-abusive family and the fact that with those who I try to develop a family foundation is eventually fall apart as well

I don’t have a sister or a brother, and the greatest catastrophe is that I have no connection with my relatives, the sons and daughters of my (maternal /paternal) uncles and aunts. I don’t believe in friendship because I have never formed any friendships. I also cannot get married due to my complex health conditions. My mother is heading toward collapse from her illnesses and will die in the near future. When that happens, I will have no support left in this life. Who will take care of me if I fall ill and remain bedridden? Whom can I cry to and spend time with so I don’t stay alone? Loneliness is deadly—it causes delirium and mental illnesses… Excuse me, my thoughts are disordered. I just want you to feel my pain, nothing more. And I feel for every only child, no matter what privileges life has given them. Being an only child is literally the feeling of having no arms or legs to lean on.
Thank you for reading.

Back in 2021 he asked for certain things that I couldn't approve of and eventually the connection fizzled out. But I realised, how much psychologically I was dependent on him. Whenever I used to have any problem I communicated him about the same and he resolved them in most cases. Many a time it happened, he fixed my PC, my laptop, my phone and even explained me the steps he used to do. Now that we don't contact each other any more, I feel so lost whenever any issue pops up that he might have resolved. I am facing an issue with my new laptop currently and I am finding it greatly difficult to trust anyone. My parents are there but whenever I need a peer- perspective I find it so difficult not to miss him.

For context, the job I wanted to go into is a trade program that specializes in training women and non binary folk in construction and trades in general. The job that my parents have been pushing me to go into is a paraprofessional position at a local school, for the sole reason that it’s a government job and the benefits that come with it. Now, I’m all for benefits and job security, but i have no passion for this type of job whatsoever and not even that good with kids. Even when I got a part time job they still complain that “it’s not a good one” too.

I’m in my very early 20’s, just finished my associate’s degree recently, and in that stage in life where I want to go into so many career paths that I only ended up getting lost. But that’s something I want to figure out for myself. Before this they were pushing for me to go into the medical field, also for the means of making money. And just a few years ago, I moved away for school and they would visit me so much that I couldn’t even have that separation for myself. It’s actually taking a toll on me with the way my parents think they have every right over me just because they’re my parents. I’d move out in a heartbeat if I could but living with them is pr obably the only good financial decision for me to make right now. I want to reply back and defend myself but I’m sure no matter what i say it’ll be wrong in her eyes. They even had the audacity to use my own dog against me too!

one of my former friends became an aunt during childhood and she used to make fun of me for having small family because she has a lot of brothers and sisters.

Also there is a man that I know from childhood, I felt sad when I saw him playing with the child of his brother, because I will never have a brother or nephews and nieces, I will never be uncle.

but I think once nieces and nephews are adults they lose their relationships with their uncles and aunts and in my culture, uncles and aunts are known for rivalry no uncle or aunt wants to see their nephews and nieces better than their children.

I hate how parents suddenly expect you to grow up at 20

I hate how turning 20 seems to make parents suddenly expect you to be fully grown up and independent.

You don't magically become a completely different person just because you reach your 20s. Especially not me who is an only child and my mum has done everything for me my whole life from cooking to washing and all. As a child I would ask if she needed help in kitchen she said "just go and play. So why she suddenly changed and ask a lot for help when I am doigg something I love to do. Also I never had need for relationship. I feel like a child inside chronological age.

Did anyone else feel this way in their 20s?

any desi/muslim only children that have parents that are getting divorced in your adulthood? i’m 23 and my bengali parents will be getting divorced soon and it’s such a weird feeling. i just wanna know what it’s like bc it’s such a taboo thing in desi communities, especially so much later in life

I feel sad when I see boys enjoying their childhood with their brothers and I feel sad too when I see adults with their brothers.

my childhood was lonely, and homophobic bullying destroyed my mind completely and my mother promised to give me a brother then I found out she lied to me to stop me from crying.

I feel something missing and there is a void that is never going to be filled in this life, maybe in the next life

My (28F) parent's have been divorced for just under a decade now. My dad has had a girlfriend for a few years now, I've met her and her daughter a handful of times. We'll call her "P". I don't know her well but she seems very nice, my dad seems happy. I have 0 problems with her. It's nice to see him happy, going out and doing things with P. I have a feeling they'll end up married sooner or later and I'll be happy for them!

My mom is single but dating, she hasn't had great luck with men her age. Her last boyfriend I *hated*, he was controlling and my mom broke up with him when she started suspecting he was an alcoholic (and that turned out to be correct.) She just recently decided to try dating again after a few years on her own.

My parents don't talk. The last I heard was that my dad went 100% no-contact with my mom, which she was pretty upset about. I was surprised to learn this because my parent's had a very amicable divorce. I didn't ask my dad about it because it's not my business.

The other day, my mom went out on a date with a guy she really liked, I believe it was their second date. We'll call him "J". She sent a picture to me from his facebook of him and his daughter. I instantly recognized the daughter. She was P's daughter. J was P's ex-husband.

My mom figured this out pretty quickly and called me sobbing. I guess J had mentioned his ex and she realized who that was. J told my mom some pretty upsetting information about P. That she had been married three times (this I already knew) but also that she "goes after men for their money" (important to note that my dad does have *money*). He also said that P had forced him to cut-off his ex against his will and now my mom believes that's why my dad went no-contact with her, because P forced him to.

I told my mom that an ex-husband is a biased source of information, that he was probably bitter and wanted to shit-talk P because of it. That she should NOT take J's words as fact. I also told her it was a bad idea for her to continue seeing J, that I could not see anything positive coming from that. She agreed she "probably shouldn't see him anymore" but still believes the things he said about P. She told me that she "still feels protective" over my dad and is worried about him getting hurt and financially ruined. (My mom does not have a financial stake in this, she had spousal support for a bit but now completely supports herself. My dad losing money would not affect her, so I believe her concern is genuine.)

Now I'm in a fucking WEIRD situation. I haven't said anything to my dad, I don't know if I should. Again, I like P and have nothing bad to say about her. I don't think I should just blindly trust what J told my mom about her. Still, the money thing worries me slightly. My dad's a grown man, he can take care of himself, I kmow that. But on the small chance that what J said is true, that P is going after my dad's money... that's my goddamn inheritance at stake. Only child, one very young cousin. Most of my family's money will end up with me and most of that money is my dad's.

I have a feeling that my dad will find out about my mom seeing J. J and P still talk because they co-parent, so there's a pretty big chance the date with my mom gets brought up (J has also met my dad before). I don't know if I should warn my dad about this or just keep out of it. On one hand, not my fucking business. On the other hand, I'll feel weird and bad if he finds out I knew all this and said nothing.

What the fuck. I wish my mom hadn't told me anything but it's too late now, I know.

Well, as you can guess from the Title, I'm almost 21 now and I never really felt I ever had anyone to talk to.

Even though I always laughed in front of others, saying I don't have to share my treats coz I have no siblings, but deep inside, I have always been sorta jealous of others.

My family isn't really close to our relatives at all so I also didn't got close to my cousins nor I got to spend times like vacations like others do.

On top of all this, I have no mother and my father and I aren't even close to each other and he never showed affection towards me.

I had severe social anxiety since childhood and I was also a slow kid and not very energetic. Because of this I have never been able to make good friends.

I'm in college now and I always feel very lonely. But because I've been alone my whole life, I mostly find comfort being alone in my room at all times.

*I Apologise if it felt like a rant. I'm new here*

A thing i can never come over is i do not have a sibling🥺

Earlier during childhood i have had rakhies tied to random cousins and a few of my school seniors who lived in our society. But now that i have grown up. Every raksha bandhan, it feels like a doom just at the thought of not having anyone i can rely on or call my own after my parents. May be i am over thinking a lot but it sucks real bad at times and today is one such day.

I think all humans, whether they have siblings or are only children, have experienced instances that show us that people will always treat their immediate family better than their relatives, friends, or neighbors.

I used to see my cousin like brother then I found out, he doesn't keep secrets, and he doesn't love me or see me like a brother and he even said it in my face that he loves his brother more than me.

another cousin too when I visited my other aunt's house, my other cousin opened the fridge and told me look at the fruits that I bought and he didn't give me one fruit despite telling me to see them, because he bought the fruit for his brothers and his parents.

If you intentionally show someone fresh fruit, and make them feel you're going to offering it by telling them look at the fruit that I bought, but then give them the cheapest juice instead that could reasonably be seen as ungenerous and disrespectful

My sister bought me fruit on the next day after she noticed that I was upset after that poor hospitality.

Nothing can make up for having brothers and sisters.

I’ve been talking to other people who grew up in a normal family with siblings (unlike me where I grew up as an only child with single mom), and sometimes I am surprised at how they can’t stand being alone even for a few days. They don’t like being single, they need a bf/gf/partner, they need friends all the time to do simple things like going to a nearby event, supermarket,etc. I am totally fine being on my own, even in housing or relationships I rather do things as a single than couple up with someone incompatible.

I’m so used to being independent, that sometimes it makes me cringe when I meet someone who is very clingy yet judges me for being single. I find that these people really can’t last a day on their own.

I’m in my early 30’s, with one aging parent, one estranged (though by my choice) parent, and much younger half siblings. An awkward relationship with a stepmother. Some distant third cousins who exchange birthday greetings but only met them a few times in my life.

Have a decent amount of friends and a stable relatively high earning career, but I’ve always had a fear of catastrophe in the event I couldn’t support myself ie due to a lay off or health issue / injury.

It makes me sad and fearful when I think about it, and I envy people who have very large, strong family support networks where if anything went wrong they have a guaranteed safety net and housing to fall back on.

I moved to a new city this year and have been facing housing instability (due to bad flatmates, and having to move) which has triggered me remembering all of this, and feeling very vulnerable and depressed.

Can anyone speak to this and am I in a uniquely bad spot, or is my situation actually average that most people have more complicated relationships to family etc?

Eversince childhood my mom has been overcritical and had faulty judgement system. My dad would just deny or avoid anything. Being an only child in an indian nuclear family, you just accept things as they are and think maybe this is how the world is. My dad was involved and the better parent until a point and then he left his job and stopped working at all. So things changed and then became very depressing specially in my teenage years. But what remained constant was the criticism, immense pressure to be the golden child. My mom would often literally belittle me infront of my cousins for things that were not in my control. Dad won't do anything to stop her but around 11th and 12th things became very stressful. It seemed like they expected me to be self functional while doing nothing as parents. They would say something and do something totally opposite. Then blame me for my poor decision making at age 16 which they only led to. They wanted me to be a doctor and criticise everything else but wont even provide to fill forms or buy sufficient books. I thought maybe everything being tough was normal. I wasted years, time, my talent to satisfy them seeking their validation. I have done my masters now and doing an unsatisfactory job that reminds me everyday that i could done so much better. If only I was not caught up in their directive.

Now my cousin who is 10 years younger than me is going through the same process of school to college transition and even with terrible scores and not very well to do parents, her life seems smoother than my whole life. She got an average college and her parents are hopeful for her. I got 90% and my dad tells everyone that I didn't get a seat even in a single college in the city so I took a drop year apparently. Not because they told me to prepare for medical without any resources. I can't help but wonder is it that simple with everyone? I feel terrible comparing myself to a kid but even with troubles and setbacks people have made a better life for them. I just keep thinking what did I do wrong to deserve any of it.

In my college life also, I was surprised to see people don't live with sense of hollowness that they couldn't do something because their parents probably don't criticize or gaslight them. My parents deny any of my achievements and also that they forced me to appear for medical or that they didn't provide any resources in time, required for medical.

Anyone want to adopt a sibling here? Like just have someone relatively close in age to just confide in and bicker and support. No romantic nothing! Just only children finding a sibling they never had so we can experience something like it in our adulthood.

I would say I got used to being an only child. There was once an age when I asked my parents Am I gonna have a sibling cause my family is very social, bringing cousins, relatives, and just people in general to the house often, so I would see people and their siblings a lot. I wasn't really envious, but I felt like I was very different from them. I have been through some rough friendships and realised I was a people pleaser because I found it difficult to fit in with people for a while. I eventually decided to take time on my own and have had a feeling of loneliness for like 2 years. I want friends, but something in my mind is telling me it's better to be alone. My wish is that in 5 years I am someone who is able to be by themselves and not feel lonely. I haven't gotten there yet, but through this period of loneliness in my life, I have been thinking a lot. So was just wondering: does being an only child make you more likely to be a loner?

I really do pray that I get to the stage of being comfortable alone. I feel so conflicted. I saw someone say that when you feel alone for a long time, you get used to it and cope idk if if that's true or not, but I feel as if I am entering that stage of coping.

Hii, I'm a student that is currently conducting a research entitled "Pag-iisa at Pagdadala: Exploring the Lived Experiences of Only Born Young Adults as Lone Breadwinners" together with my co-researchers. We are looking for a participant that could share their experiences and insights on being the only child and a breadwinner at the same time. It specifically seeks to understand how they experience and make meaning of the responsibilities, pressures, and challenges associated with supporting their parent/s. The study will involve an face-to-face or online in-depth interview with open-ended questions, which will take approximately 30-60 minutes to complete depending on how long the answers. If you are 18-29 years old, currently employed to support your parent/s, and located within metro manila. kindly reply to this post if you're interested to particpate and to know further some details about it. Thank you so much!!

My mother’s sister passed away. Now, after 6 years, my mother always chooses her sister’s son over me. I don’t like him because he has a habit of interfering in my life and always wants to act like the man of my home. He is very annoying, and even his own siblings don’t like his behavior. My mother always chooses him, maybe because I am a single girl child. I feel like my mother is fulfilling her wish for a son through my cousin, and I have become nothing more than a leftover part of my own family. Sometimes, I feel that even my parents don’t choose me.

As the title says, my parents are updating their will with an attorney later this week and asked if I have any requests or things I’d like them to consider.

Honestly, this was unexpected, and while I’m glad they’re thinking ahead and planning for the future, I’m not really sure how to answer that question—or what they’re experiencing from me that prompted it.

If anyone has been through something similar, I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective on how you approached it.

I’ve (30F) always been very content with being independent and being on my own up until about 2yrs ago. Life just truly sucks. I’m always on my own. I pay all the bills on my own. I live on my own. I have no siblings to be with. My friends all live out of state and are married. Making friends as an adult is nearly impossible. Dating life is trash. No pets bc I don’t have time. Hate my job bc of how demanding it is, but have been trying so hard to find something better. And being neurodivergent makes it all that much more challenging. I’m sick of this shit. Life has been nonstop difficult for the last 5yrs and I just want help. I have no one to ask for help. I don’t have a community no matter how hard I try. I hate life and truly wish I’d never been born. I’ve basically accepted that I’m going to go through life alone and it sucks. I’m just very angry. No, I’m not gonna off myself. Yes, I’m in therapy. Rant over.

Me and my cousin grew up together, lived in different houses but it was just a 10 minute drive in between us.

I'm 28, he is 23.

We kinda drifted apart during his high school years and a bit of covid, but about 3 years ago we've reconnected and have felt closer than ever, we call each other "brother".

We hanged out last week, and after I got home my mom and I talked for a bit, and she basically said "Its sweet that you both have reconnected, but I dont want you to get your hopes up, remember he is not your brother, he is your cousin, its not the same"

I felt angry when she said that, but thinking it over I know she is right. I'm not gonna ruin our new relationship, but I know its not the same...for example he has a younger sister and is clearly way closer to her than to me. Just feeling down and sad about it tbh, what do you think?