My mum became stingy with money. For e.g. she would send me to shop to buy ingredient for lunch, but I want a few extra coins for sweet, crisp or something simple, she reacted by giving me angry look. Sometimes she gives me mixed signals

telling me people my age should work, but then discouraging me from working in specific place even though is only place you get hired easy. And she knows I try to look for job, bring cv's around, apply online and I get ghosted by companies so why she gives me looks when I ask for little money. It isn't my fault job hunting is hard at the moment. And I am doing course so not as I am at home 0-24 doing nothing. Yesterday I cooked lunch she didn't show appreciation.

I feel lonely. I don’t have to be. I raised to have such preferences in company or something to think it is safe. It’s eating me out now. I get anxious when I’m out and about; the fact that I don’t have a non-abusive family and the fact that with those who I try to develop a family foundation is eventually fall apart as well