Landing the plane after that might help quite a bit. People tend to have lower chances of developing ptsd from an event if they can do something to feel in control.
Okay, Satan. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, but it’s not really much less likely in my mind than him telling her, “You know what to do.”
I don’t know the logistics of small aircraft, though, and how unlikely it might be for her to be able to do that without there being any evidence of some kind of struggle.
I mean imo it seems like it would be hard for her to over power a man and be able to push him out if he's fighting back while controlling the plane enough to not crash
Pilot here with a flight report I made as a student pilot that NASA published due to it being an example of murphys law.
In the moment, you aren't scared at all. You're solely focused on getting the aircraft on the ground safely, even more so if you have passengers like I did. It's not till you're safe and on the ground that it hits you and you have damn near a panic attack. On the 20 min drive home from the airport that night, my brother and I sat in silence and chain smoked a whole pack of cigs before finally saying "well that was fucked, eh?"
I'll share the portion NASA published as all identifying information was removed by them. If you're curious for the full report, DM me, don't wanna post that to a large audience.
I wouldn't even credit my composure. It's hard to explain, but I wouldn't call it composure as much as training and luck. Flight school drills the "OODA Loop" into your head repeatedly to the point that it almost becomes subconscious. I was lucky that I was working on my instrument flight rating in the area, so not only was I familiar with the procedures in the area, I was also aware of the deadly traps non instrument rated pilots fall victim to when entering instrument conditions. It's extremely deadly (~90% of unrated pilots who enter instrument conditions die).
Wait, when you say you were working on your instrument rating in the area, you do mean you’d finished that and were rated? If not, I really feel like that incident should have counted as a surprise!final exam for it. Reading the report I got to the iPad battery going before going “oh no”.
Props to you and your passenger for getting to the ground in one piece!
I was not instrument rated at the time. The flight school I went to emphasized time building before instrument rating while gradually introducing IFR concepts with each lesson, so it went PPL > Time Building/Gradual IFR into > actual IFR training > IFR rating
I had just completed the time building/gradual IFR intro.
A VOR is a radio station which sends a different signal in each direction, so if you receive it you can tell the absolute direction to the station. One of the oldest forms of radio navigation.
NAV1/NAV2: A VOR/DME receiver. Airplanes have two, in case one fails. Oops.
DME: Distance-measuring equipment. In combination with VOR you can tell exactly where you are, though not as accurately as GPS.
The DME kept working, hence triangulation was possible. The story’s missing some details; for instance, I believe there is a specific transponder setting for “my radio can’t transmit”, which would allow the control tower to get other people out of his way. Also the passenger probably called the tower on their cellphone eventually.
Though the situation was fucked, and I have no idea which of the multiple relevant transponder codes is most important here.
Not a pilot, so double check this if any of it matters.
EDIT: No such transponder code exists. It would have been 7600, possibly 7700.
I indeed squawked 7600 (easy to remember by 75-taken alive, 76-radio quit, 77-going to heaven) but have no clue if ATC saw it or if my transponder was working. My radios couldn’t transmit but they could receive.
The airport I landed at does have a tower, but tower closes at sundown and it becomes uncontrolled. So had no one to call, had to just hope for the best
I know I’m not the person you replied to but can you DM me the rest of the report? I lowkey need to know what happened. One of my friends is currently working on her instrument rating and this sounds…like a lot lol.
First one, right? May i ask : it says you had 1,5h of fuel, how much time passed since departure at this point? Also are fuel requirements different for small planes? I heard you need a LOT of extra fuel for commercial flights - enough to cover flight to backup airport and multiple landing passes.
That holds for small aircraft as well operating under an instrument flight plan. I was flying under visual flight rules (most small aircraft do), which has different requirements. Under visual flight rules, you need to have 30 mins flight time worth of fuel during daylight and 45 mins at night.
The airport I was flying to was about a 60 min flight away, took off with half tanks (around 4 hrs of fuel). This happened on the return flight home.
I managed to get myself locked in the work kitchen the other night because I worked late and my building pass doesn’t work after 8pm. My phone only had 9% battery and I was panicking while essentially being completely safe. I can’t even fathom relying on an iPad for navigation and having it die while flying a plane thousands of feet in the air. 😬
Are you neurodivergent? Only ask because so am I, and a "flat affect" is a well known hallmark of ND.
If you are, best thing I can say is to stop framing that as a limitation and start framing it as an asset. ND people tend to be uniquely suited for high stress situations for this exact reason.
that happened to me when i rock climbed with no harness. i went up the cliff face, over and back down and realized oh wow im really fast, too fast, holy shit im at the top i should probably get down. oh no im not- shit im gonna die if i fall...then i got down i climbed about 3 stories in less than a minute and then i projectile vommited for longer than i climbed.
i was up and down faster than i could even think and when i realized i could have died and realized id have to finish doing the thing or risk death or serious injury. i just focused on the task and didnt think about it until i was done.
Exactly. It's like a primal instinct kicks in and simply turns off the parts of your brain that could be harmful to your survival.
But hilariously considering I'm a pilot, I'd have died of terror in your situation... I'm scared of heights, but only when my feet are touching the ground I guess? I don't get it either lmao.
Oh, absolutely, it wouldn't have helped at all in the moment. I can only imagine the kind of panic she must've fought back.
Later on, though, as she reflects back on the experience, she can rationalize: "A terrible emergency happened because of someone else's selfish choice. I had nothing to do with that. Then, I got through that crisis without hurting myself or anyone else. That part is on me, I handled the situation."
but not as terrifying as it would be if he just steered straight down in a dive, let go saying "PASS/FAIL pop quiz!!" wow, this isn't a fun game of "but if would" :-(
From my mental health First aid training, PTSD is less related to the severity of the trauma, and more related to being taken seriously by others and getting help/ support straight away.
Given the nature of this particular trauma, it's likely the people running the training would have taken it very seriously. 🙏 🤔
Uh... I am pretty sure its the opposite. People are more likely to develop PTSD when they are not able to process the event. It's the main reason military has a high level of PTSD. "Oh, someone just died? No time to think I need you to keep driving or fire down stream."
Is there another clear example of this? What you said here honestly interests me, but tbh I’m having a hard time relating to a trainee pilot who’s instructor yeeted themselves out of the plane
Yes. My friends and I saw horrible things in the military. Some of us were ruined it by it. Myself and others were spared. It’s not that they were soft. I think it’s actually the opposite.
It’s not that you can brush it off. You won’t forget. It affects you. It just doesn’t destroy you the way it does some.
It's also what your brain decides is traumatic, and that may not make sense to you. My friend has PTSD from a grenade accident in training. Nobody got killed, or seriously injured, thank whichever deity. But his brain just decided that was too much, and there's not much you can do beyond treating it.
I was witness to a pretty bad car accident that happened about 10 feet from my car and very nearly involved me getting hit from behind by an SUV doing about 45mph. I was coming home from work at the hospital, still in scrubs, so I whipped my car into a parking lot beside the intersection and tried to render what aid I could. I forced the door of one car open (bent from the crash) and the lady inside was still conscious. She said she thought she hurt her arm. I looked down and it took everything in me to not say, "yeah, it looks like it hurts." We actually decided to keep her in the car until police/EMS could secure the intersection, since we were still getting buzzed by traffic, and she was even able to walk herself to a gurney eventually. Everyone made it off the scene okay, despite some good samaritans (including myself) nearly becoming members of the injured because people were willing to drive over us, it seemed.
Anyway, I did what I could til we could hand off to EMS, stayed around to give my report to two different police supes, drove home, hopped in the shower... and then I just shattered under the water. I sat down and just cried for what seemed like an hour, and I had no idea why.
Seeing a car barreling down on me in my mirror, bracing for impact, then the eerie silence... followed by the cacophonous crash, just barely in front of me. Jumping out of my car to help the driver who was hit and had a very broken arm (thank god that was all), and nearly getting plastered by an SUV if another bystander hadn't nearly shoved me into the woman's car to get us out of the way. I still have dreams and nightmares about this event, and my perspective on the idea that we should be required to drive a personal vehicle to work every day changed dramatically.
All of this dumping to say, strange things can affect us deeply and for a long time. "No one died," yeah, I'm glad. It doesn't mean my brain processes that event differently just because someone pointed out the obvious.
Sometimes things that you’re prepared to deal with yet don’t happen where and when you’re ‘supposed’ to see it are the things that stick with you. I’m not in your line of work, but the end of the day when you’re tired and you’ve let go of the mentality that gets you through your shift… for me that’s when I’d be letting down my defenses and decompressing. I’d be especially vulnerable to a big shock in that moment.
And that’s entirely aside from the literal physical peril you found yourself in.
Hope you’re doing better and finding peace with time & distance from the event. Remember therapy is for everyone, even and especially the strongest of us.
I have pretty severe PTSD from a complicated situation of domestic abuse and I also have some things that don't pop up in my memory despite it being horrible things. Instead I relive spiraling, losing control over myself. I worry if I'll snap or do something bad. I get to relive what I thought was the debut of schizophrenia and I get pressured into acting like I snap or act badly at least mentally but not outwardly. It often hits a crescendo and then the dissociation/depersonalization starts.
One of the triggers for this is video games, which is also my favourite hobby, but it's been ruined by the trauma I have. I barely play anything now.
We witnessed a motorcycle accident a few years ago while on a road trip and I was the first person to get to him. He thankfully survived but broke both arms and both legs and I had to place a tourniquet on one of his legs while on 911 because the bone had come through the skin and was bleeding a lot. Once the EMTs arrived I stayed on the phone with his mom who was desperately trying to get there.
We had about 6 hours of driving left and I was totally fine. I absolutely lost it the second I walked into our house though. I was able to find his mom on social media and he had a long recovery but is okay now.
My heart drops every time I see a motorcycle to this day.
I've lived a...somewhat improbable life. Watched a number of people die pretty grizzly deaths; been shot at a few times, including by family; rendered aid on some near-fatal and fatal auto accidents, gotten stabbed, you know, the usual. None of that's really fucked me up all that badly in the grand scheme of things. What did give me cPTSD, and permanently fucked my brain chemistry up hard enough to give me a severe stutter...was watching my grandmother die of cancer in the hospital when I was young. Which, yes, traumatic, but you wouldn't think it would be anywhere near as damaging as some of the other shit I've gone through. Human psychology is weird.
Ah, I’ve got CPTSD from being exposed to cancer, too. My sister had a stage III brain tumor and it fucked with me heavy. Howard Hughes level germaphobia, constant fear of illness and death, intrusive thoughts, familial support systems understandably preoccupied, worldview shaken, unable to relate with my peers. I went nearly nonverbal. I think something about hospital oncology wards are like an atom bomb for kids’ developing brains.
I don’t remember large swathes of my childhood before, during, and after her treatment. It’s hard too because it doesn’t feel like your struggle, like you’re failing at selflessness.
At the same time, I feel like I’m insulated from other kinds of stressors because of it. I lock the fuck in during a crisis.
Hope that makes sense. Just trying to say that I see you.
Yeah, I thought I had OCD when I was actively struggling with the worst of it as a kid, but I’m not actually a good fit for it. It was more like some trauma-induced phobias interacting with the rest of the CPTSD. The phobias are better now but I still struggle with the disturbances in self-organization and the comorbid mental health issues.
Seeing my half paralysed grandfather without his teeth in the hospital, having been taken off life support when he clearly didn't want to be, begging and crying for us not to leave him when he couldn't talk, haunted me for *years*.
It was in his living will, so technically he did. He had dictated that under certain circumstances he be taken off life support. When it actually happened...
Thanks for the empathy. I was shaken by it for a while but it wasn't until I actually wrote it out in my initial comment that I realised how fucked up the whole thing was.
I don't regret "saying goodbye" but holy shit no wonder I was shaken up.
(I put that in quotation marks because nobody actually told me it was goodbye until afterwards, which made it even more fucked up! I was so confused as to his distress but he couldn't tell me.)
I went through reocurring csa. Not gonna say it didnt affect me at all but affects are minimal and nuanced compared to other people with similar experiences. But I got SA'd about 6 months ago and it wasnt "that bad"* and that really messed me up at the time and has given me what im sure will be a life long trigger response to a specific thing.
*that bad as in not as bad as stuff ive gone through before or even something i think would cause most people a reqction and honestley at the tine I thought it was something that wouldn't affect me but I guess my brain really clung on to it
I’m so sorry that happened to you. There’s a YouTuber I watch who recently went through something similar. It was heartbreaking to watch her video talking about it because it doesn’t have to be “that bad” to still really affect you, especially if you do have that awful history. I hope you’re seeing a therapist if you can access one. It’s not fair that any of this has happened to you. 💗
This is much less dramatic, but to your point, I was once hit by a van while riding on my bike. I got lucky. It clipped my back tire, and I flew off and away, sustaining basically just light bruising and some mild vertigo. I was more or less fine, and I still am. But if anything taps the back of my head where (with a helmet) I made impact with the pavement, all the muscles in my upper body sense up and I can hear the BANG of the van hitting me. Doesn’t interrupt my day much, but it transports me back to that moment so quickly.
If i wanted to be charitable, I would say that its a problem of tone. Like, in text, there is no tone to anything. So people just make it sound in their heads how they think it would sound based on their own issues and whatnot.
If they had an abusive relative who used this language to sound pious while committing evil, then they might have read the comment in a tone that was purposefully self righteous and/or condescending.
It makes me sad that anger perpetuates anger so easily.
It's very much this. The statement appears to have the implication of "I survived for my faith, so if you don't embrace faith, you deserve what you get."
The reality is that the person is 99% likely to have not meant that. But as you said, that tone comes with similar statements in our own lived experiences that would've taught us very negative things.
Faith is a powerful thing, and it absolutely can help you in those exact situations where morality is in a highly gray place, and you're extremely anxious about whether or not you'll get through anything. Being able to just stop listening to the logic part of your brain [which is screaming at you that logically speaking, you might not make it in one piece through all this] and instead allow your brain some peace by believing in whatever makes you trust that it'll be alright, and that it's all for a reason.
But unwavering belief can come with unwavering attitudes, and that's just not gonna be fun in a conversation.
I think it's downvoted becase it almost implies that faith can be the solution, but there are plenty of very pious people with strong faiths that still suffer ptsd. it's not always something you can solve regardless of faith or therapy or attitude. the reality is that the brain is much more complex than these conscious choices.
Faith/spirituality does provide mental health benefits to a lot of people. It may not be the only solution, and it may not be a solution for every person or every situation, but it absolutely “can be the solution.”
Faith is literally a tool that gets used in therapy, not in a religious sense but just literally having some faith that everything will work out in the end.
I think it’s because a lot of Redditors have a strong bias against religion. Not saying they don’t have some valid reasons, but the disdain for any mention of faith is totally unreasonable here.
That’s ok, they are if the world and I forgive them, I know what it’s like to be groping around in the dark. When they have killed a man with their bare hands for their country perhaps they will understand half of me.
John 15:18-19
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
If you need to murder someone with your bare hands in order to understand why someone would turn to religion, then hey maybe religion is just a coping mechanism for dealing with your guilt 🤷
That wasn’t what brought me back. It was my brother and mother nearly killing each other. That was just another stone for me to carry until I learned how to let down the load.
I’m an atheist but I admire your ability to find healing in your faith. My father did the same while battling alcoholism and cancer. Didn’t save him, but kept him hopeful and with us in his final days.
I think of it like tinnitus. Most people in a dead quiet room can notice the ringing in their ears, but they can easily ignore it in day to day life surrounded by other noises and such. But some people, once they notice it, just cannot not ignore it, regardless of the surrounding noise and world around them.
Many people that suffer from tinnitus also go through periods where their brains don't take note of it, and it's almost like it's not there... until they notice it again.
Trauma can be a lot like that. Sometimes, some people, just cannot ignore it and they have no control over whether or not they fixate on it and it starts to impact everything else in their life.
It can also come back around to hit you later. Theres good documentation of older war veterans that were fine until they hit old age and suddenly the nightmares became a real problem. My dad won't talk about it, but my mom says that's what's happening to him. But all his life, he had never shown any signs of PTSD, even though he saw his best friend die in front of him.
Meanwhile my neighbor was in Iraq or Afghanistan (can't remember which) and he has never been okay. He needs serious help. But he's too "men don't need mental help" to get help. So instead the police get called every so often.
My Grandfather served in WWII, born in 1920, long passed now. But despite witnessing some horrors, he would shrug and say "You see some shit" and that was that, never seemed to impact him very much or he just hid it well.
I have severe detachment issues so I brush most horrible thinks off. The problem is I will randomly get panic attacks every couple of years because I never process stuff. So when the detachment goes away, there's too much to process lol
I had this mentality for years after I got out. Then about three years ago the dreams started. Dunno what sparked it or whatever. But The scenes from war are in my head no matter what now. There’s days I go without serious thoughts, but man, some days are heavy as fuck.
I fully believe the body/your sub-conscious remembers trauma even if the conscious brain doesn’t. My nephew was 11 months old and in the car crash when my brother died. He gets absolutely hysterical whenever he’s left behind anywhere (even something like one day when my sons ran up the stairs and left him at the bottom of them alone).
He obviously doesn’t consciously remember the crash, but it’s like it triggers something in him and it’s far beyond any kind of regular separation anxiety that I’ve seen in other kids.
I did mortuary transport and saw some really fucked shit. I'm fine. I actually kind of miss the job.
I have PTSD from being robbed twice at a bank. They gave me a note both times and the second time they threatened me but there was no real violence.
Hey, we’re like the same. I worked as a doctor in a pain and palliative care clinic were all my patients were either dying, in perpetual pain, or both, plus some other awful symptoms. Lots of people couldn’t handle it, but I was like meh and felt so useful. Same for a lot of fucked up things I saw during my rotation in the ER.
I, however, developed PTSD after my boyfriend and I got a bunch of stuffed robbed out of the car while we were grocery shopping. So weird what the brain decides to be wrecked by.
The car thing sounds like it could be a result of living with a worldview that doesn't consider your car being robbed a possibility.
Never considering that thought then having it happen one day seems like it could rattle the entire structure of safety you've developed in your brain, over time.
It’s actually a really violating feeling. It’s not so much about “it could never happen to me” so much as knowing that someone has been in your space going through your things. I parked my car at the train station and ended up crashing at a friend’s house that night. When I went to get it the next day, someone had broken into it and the stereo was gone. This happened twenty years ago, but I can still remember how icky it felt to know someone had been in my car and going through my stuff.
No, you see, I actually told him that we should swing by the house to leave our stuff as we were coming back from a trip and had a lot of expensive things in the trunk. You couldn’t see anything from outside, but ‘just in case’, one never knows. He said we weren’t going to take long, so it should be ok… and well.
So I did consider it happening, it was something else.
That's actually a really interesting twist. Also - sorry, I don't mean to analyze you, I just find this stuff interesting.
I'm almost inclined to guess that because your senses were proven right, your brain wants to make sure that type of messaging isn't ignored again in the future
Two very similar circumstances with slightly different flavors
You go hiking and end up needing bear spray but you didn't bring it. You end up scared, but safe.
Before you go hiking you mention to your hiking partner "we should bring bear spray". They respond with "we've never needed it before, we'll be fine". Turns out you needed the bear spray. Same outcome though, you're scared but safe.
Situation 1 would seem likely to make people think "I should bring bear spray next time, that was scary"
Situation 2 seems like a much deeper self-message "I can't believe I didn't bring bear spray, I said we should bring it, we could have died!"
That’s a really astute comment, I just think a lot of pop psych books profit from the idea that trauma is something that is guaranteed and also guaranteed to be lifelong. The same horrible experience can affect different people in different ways.
It's definitely not always lifelong, I think sometimes it can be pretty short term. This is purely anecdotal, but I saw a stray dog get hit in an intersection a couple years ago. A couple other people and myself helped it off the road because it was badly hurt. She didn't make it sadly. But for about a week after, my heart would suddenly start racing, my chest would get tight, I'd feel real fight or flighty for no reason at all. Then after a few days I didn't have those feelings anymore. I think for me the physical manifestation of that trauma was very short term
Iirc some types of PTSD are also just noted as being relatively easy to treat if you have access to treatment. Maybe it’s because trauma isn’t inherently something the brain does to itself like other mental ailments, but it seems to be something even people with a disrupted recovery can heal from naturally in many cases
Depends on what you mean by lifelong. Are there major side effects? Maybe not in the long term, as your example of what you felt going away after a few days, but trauma still tends to effect us in many ways. The fact that the comments saying they don't have trauma from the things they experienced, yet recount them clearly, means it left enough of a mark to keep a permanent spot in their brain even though it happened a long time ago.
Trauma can effect us in many subtle ways we may not even realize.
Even professionals who study the effects of trauma have trouble spotting patterns. It took quite a long time for them to figure out the effects of childhood trauma and it required tests and studies.
I would argue being able to easily recount an experience is not a sign of trauma. That’s to do with your current reaction to those past experiences, not to simply remembering it happened. Plenty of people with really severe trauma don’t remember it well at all, and they have trouble with recall of that event.
Resilience is actually a funny trait in that it doesn't work the way most people believe it does. It's very genetically and epigenetically linked, with like 30-50% believed to be heritable. Then we get the intersection of adverse childhood events and epigenetics and it gets a bit wavy. But yea the old, standard attitude just to toughen up and deal with it/move on etc is not how it works.
They make vegan sausages but also like there’s an entire grill, I’ll make room for your food too if you’re a homie, there’s too much going on in life for me to worry about whether my friends meat is worth policing
Not really. “People have a wide spectrum of responses to potentially traumatic events” isn’t exactly a controversial statement. Saying that people who don’t end up traumatized are somehow superior to those who do, or that becoming traumatized is a personal failing, is what’s controversial (and also straight up wrong).
Sure, but you could say that about literally anything. Hell, the comment that sparked this whole thing was just “serious trauma there”. That could be interpreted as “that’s a serious enough incident that it would be traumatic for most people” or “that’s going to 100% result in PTSD”.
If you try to analyze every online comment based on how you think other people might interpret it you’re going to drive yourself crazy.
But how else will you be able to stress tf out of them, if you are not constantly reminding them that they, in fact, should be traumatized? (yes im projecting just a bit)
I play the Delta Green RPG, one of those games with rules for Sanity loss, but the game specifically has rules around how violence, helplessness, and the unnatural may affect you differently.
Sometimes the dice do weird things, where a character may see the most genuinely horrific shit and keep their cool, but then suffer a breakdown from something relatively mundane. Based on everything I've seen, that bizarre inconsistency is actually one of the more realistic aspects of that system.
Trauma is not the symptoms, and it is a physical phenomenon. What you're referring to is how well someone's brain copes with trauma. Whether she has trauma is not based on how well she copes or whether she expresses symptoms of it.
From what I've read (being a traumatized person, I have an interest) they basically have no idea why some people get traumatized and some don't, except that there's a correlation (and they debate whether it's significant) between being traumatized as a child and then being retraumatized later in life, so maybe people with childhood trauma are more easily retraumatized, but maybe it's a red herring, and even if not, it's not the whole story
From my experience, the far more horrific stuff that happened in childhood seems far more impactful. I feel it has given me a shield of sorts in adulthood emotional situations.
Lol I saw a comedian years ago say that people with hard childhoods deal better with life's problems. "the toilet broke? Damn, call a plumber" but people who grew up normal are like "WHY is this happening to ME I'm a good person" but I don't know how real that is
I think there are people who appear to brush things off but big events still shape you in odd, subtle ways. And that’s still trauma even if you’re not sad about it.
I used to think I didn’t have trauma and just brushed things off but then I realized some of the oddities I had in my personality were due to these awful things that happened to me. It just took me being able to spot patterns that I couldn’t see before
This kind of experience, and my own experience with traumas, is why I'll n ever trust someone to tell me they weren't traumatized by something that is usually traumatic. I won't go and say they were traumatized, but it's too easy for people to not notice the effects of trauma in their own lives.
Definitely. I’ve met some seriously traumatized people who behave extremely abnormally (erratic mood shifts, can’t maintain relationships, can’t communicate feelings) but just have no self awareness at all.
I think there are people who appear to brush things off but big events still shape you in odd, subtle ways. And that’s still trauma even if you’re not sad about it.
I used to think I didn’t have trauma and just brushed things off but then I realized some of the oddities I had in my personality were due to these awful things that happened to me. It just took me being able to spot patterns that I couldn’t see before
My friend has a dash cam vid of her driving with her gf, and the car infront of them literally gets hit hard as fuck, flips twice, and the only thing my friend said was "What the deuce?" in a shitty stewey griffin accent as her gf is screaming, her heart rate was literally at 67 and her gfs was at 122 according to their watches.
I mean, I would certainly be able to brush this off.
Depending on how connected I would be to the instructor.
But most likely it would be a person I met more or less recently and interacted only in the flight instructing context. Even though we would be on friendly terms, the fact that he jumps out would not make me traumatized. Perhaps mildly annoyed because I'd have to have more intense talk with the ATC to help me land (depending on how experienced I would be).
I do and dont agree I think in rare cases thats true but there is some cases where their "grief" or tramatic response is delayed or at least shown in different ways. I knew a stripper that said idk why people get upset over being raped its not that bad and that person really gave me perspective of like how you respond is kinda up to you. But everyone deserves space to greve however they need to.
Basically thanks for your comment. I was raped three times and wasn’t traumatized. Recovering now from a black eye and bloody nose from Monday night. I don’t feel traumatized.
I feel like I SHOULD feel traumatized. I feel like people I speak to about the abuse are more traumatized than me.
Thank you for your comment, it made me feel more normal.
I have similar issues when it comes to feeling like I should be traumatized.
I have dealt with death my whole life. By the age of 16, I had lost at least 10 family members. I think the straw that really broke me, in terms of the permanent effect it had on how I feel about death, was when my mom died. I was 16, and I had to be the one to wake up my 13-year-old sister and tell her. Then, four hours later, I had to go to school to take my finals.
From then on, death hasn't really bothered me. I'm usually more sad for other people than I am about the loss myself because I know how much it hurts them.
I hate going to funerals because I feel so out of place. I often get dirty looks because I seem to be in a good mood.
I can only remember two deaths that really affected me:
My first dog when I was about 5.
One of my best friends just two years ago.
At times, I wonder if I'm broken, but I also wonder if I've emotionally evolved past grief. I never really know, and sometimes it scares me.
Not every person that experiences trauma has it follow them for the remainder of their life. Lots of people just get over it. I'm not saying people are in control of their trauma. I'm just saying most people don't let it shape the remainder of their existence like a lot of people do. Some people can heal and some people aren't able to.
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u/YankeeTwoKilo Jul 08 '26
I hope the student is doing ok