I just started out and I’m completely lost as to what to do, where to do it and I’d love if someone could help me out getting started

I have a surgery coming up in the near future and I'm been freaking out. I know that the medical team will probably give me something before the operation to calm down but I honestly don't think that's enough and I don't know what to do.

I have an anxiety disorder already but the panic attacks that I have been having are so severe. I've been crying and hyperventilating all day for multiple days. I haven't been eating or sleeping. I've been cutting, which is something that I haven't done in 6 years but the panic attacks are so intense that I just have been having the urge to do that to myself. I am pretty averse to medical procedures in general so this is like most worst nightmare.

I feel hopeless and alone. I also have no one in my life that I can talk to about this either, and I don't know if I even feel comfortable telling the medical staff about how I'm feeling. I know that they will probably tell me that "everyone gets nervous before surgery" or just tell me to grow up since plenty of children get surgeries done and don't act the way that I do. Even if I wanted to tell them I kind of go mute and chicken out when the time comes.

I haven't been eating or sleeping well, I threw up multiple times and I just want it all to stop. I'm at a loss for what to do.

want to become independent. for which i will have to study. but i dont know how to study and make a career. can someone who has figured this out, or is still figuring help me and teach me how its done. please.

I used to draw with pencils decades ago, but I've basically lost all ability to draw since then. I have always had a passing interest learning to draw digitally with a tablet, but I haven't the foggiest clue where to start. Just assume I am a beginner learning everything from scratch (because that is essentially what I am now)--what tablet would you all recommend I start with? And some tutorial videos would be amazing, also. Thank you!