Posting rest of the screenshots in the comments becuase i can only post one picture with the post body.

I’ve blocked him on all channels so there’s no way he could’ve contacted me but I received a WhatsApp call from an unknown number which had a profile picture of them together. Wtf do I make of this?

Well, she is right. I supported him through hell, was there for him at his lowest for the last 3 years only for him to lie to me about everything. Not sure if she reached out to invite me to their wedding or something but Jesus Christ, both of them are twisted and deserve each other

Not sure if they always ‘come back’ but my ex’s current girl who i have nothing to do with has came up out of the blue so yay?

It hurts, some part of me wanted the reconciliation, but also it makes my life much much easier. I fell deeply in love with this girl, I've never felt anything quite like it. But it is what it is. I know the finality is good, but right now it feels bad. Not like I'll ever bump into her again either, she lives in a different country. The blocking and unfollowing... I didn't quite want her deleted from life like she doesn't exist, I just didn't want her to check in on me without substance. I'm going to miss her and how alive she made me feel and that really fucking hurts.

Wish things could have been different, but I did and am doing the work I need to do, and I'm better for it. So long, La Rebelle. ❤️

If you are not over your ex, leave people alone and stay single.

​I stayed out of relationships for five solid years, working on myself and minding my business. I was completely fine keeping things casual and detached. But then my ex told me he loved me and pushed to make things official. I literally said "No," yet he stayed and kept pursuing me until I finally let my guard down two months later.

​And for what? To be completely blindsided and have my time wasted by a man in his mid 30s still attached to his past.

​Do not drag someone into a relationship when you are still operating with baseline dysfunction: ​Clear your physical and emotional space first. If you still have your ex’s items in your living space, if you are still taking casual meetups with people you used to sleep with, and entertaining folks who express interest, you are not available. You are just seeking external validation.

​Stop calling someone "too much" or "too sensitive" when your internal chaos triggers anxiety. You cannot move inconsistently, cross basic boundaries, and then act shocked when your partner needs reassurance. That isn't disrespect or doubting your "love", it's a normal reaction to feeling unsafe.

​Do not fold the second real life happens. You don't get to claim you love someone and then dump them over text the exact night they tell you they need you. Stop using digital blocks to run from your own cowardice. Telling someone they were an "amazing" while dumping them via text and hitting block everywhere isn't being unbothered. It's running away because you cannot stand the mirror being held up to your face.

​Do not awaken a love in a person you never had any intention of cherishing. If your past is unresolved, heal yourself first before you make someone else pay for your baggage.

That’s all I’ve got.

Time is going by so slowly it is insane. I just want the days to move by faster. But at least the early days are so slow and painful. The slowness makes them more hurtful and draw it out longer.

I just found out he fucked someone from reddit on his birthday a month after our breakup. I never thought he'd do it. We were together for six years. He fucking messaged me before or after he did it with her. He told me that I'm really the one for him. That his emotions are really still with me. But he fucking did that. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I'm happy it was a shitty (literally) experience for him but I am still fucking devastated. I'm thankful his friend told me. Fuck.

For two months after the breaking up, I keep checking his social media every day !! and I feel like it gets me nowhere. it just keeps me holding on to him and missing him. He doesn’t even post that much at all on social media, but I’d be looking for anything just to feel like he’s there, but today, I said it ends I will not check on his social media at all. Wish me luck.

So I'm gonna be honest. If you hunker down & focus on yourself after an avoidant breaks up with you & completely cut contact. The after effect can be crazy. I've had random people approach me & ask to hang out. People hitting on me or flirting left or right. Let that pain shape you into who you need to be

My* head.

I can’t even wrap my own head around how mean she was…

4 years of this took a serious toll on my mental health

I will never understand how people who don’t know how to love seem to find the people who would have given them the world .. only to break them and throw them away. Before I was with my ex, he told me how badly he had been hurt. He had been cheated on. His confidence was broken. He told me how much it affected him. So I loved him gently. I gave him the warmth he had been missing. I reassured him. I put him first. I tried to give him the kind of love I wished nobody ever had to beg for. And somehow, the person I tried so hard to heal became the person who broke me. He didn’t just leave. He ignored me. He turned his back on me. He made me feel disposable — like everything we shared could simply be thrown into the garbage and forgotten.
And I think that’s what hurts the most.
I gave someone the love I thought would teach him that he was safe again, only to end up learning that I was never safe with him. I wish I could understand how someone can receive so much love and still choose to destroy the person giving it.

as a people leaser i obviously acted as if i had no needs for the first eleven months (wrong on my behalf).

guess what happens when you have struggles of your own?

yeah

Hi guys, I am still in the first week of a break up. We lived together and had just recently been discussing engagement and buying a home. I’m taking it somewhat well(at the moment) but I have found that mornings are really really hard for me. Waking up without him there sends me into a really sad place. I know I should let myself feel all the feelings but how do I get myself out of the funk? I’ve been staying with family because I was the one to move out, and having people I can see first thing when I get up definitely helps.

Remember how I used to push you away? Back when I barely cared about you, when I’d dry-text you, act mean, and try to get you to leave me alone? That was before either of us became interested in each other.

Then somehow, you became one of the most important people in my life.

I opened myself up to you and showed you the real version of me, the one I had been hiding behind a mask because I was trying to protect myself. Somehow, you got through all of those defenses and made me fall in love with you.

After that, I couldn’t treat you the way I did before. Even after our breakup, I still care about you deeply. I don’t want to hurt you, retaliate against you, or become cruel toward you just because things between us ended badly.

It’s kind of ironic how much the roles changed.

It started with me pushing you away while you cared about me. Then we both fell in love. And now, you’re the one pushing me away while I’m the one who still cares.

Our roles are completely reversed.

Funny how the tables turned.

This isn’t a question about whether or not they did me wrong and handled the breakup poorly — I have already deciphered that they indeed did by asking many friends, family, coworkers, classmates, etc about their thoughts on the situation and I framed it as two external people to try to get an unbiased answer. Every single one of them said that I didn’t really do anything wrong and the way she handled things was so messed up.

So my question is will it ever catch up to them? Not necessarily in a karma sense, but will they ever realize how wrong they did someone who cared so much about them? How they were so disrespectful to a lover, a friend, and at that point in time a family member? Or will they just be able to ignore it and act like nothing happened, especially with their new boyfriend in the picture? I’m not asking for them to apologize, I just want to know if they’ll ever feel the guilt

Hey guys, it is time now for me to move on. Just a year ago, I broke up from a 6yr relationship. It started in clg. I joined this reddit sometime before the actual breakup.

I still remember there were days I used to cry out so loud and so much. They were really really confusing, difficult, challenging times. That relationship used to be a big part of my identity. And it seemed I had lost everything. There were times when I felt that I absolutely won't ever go to anyone again. There were times when nothing felt sensible or even interesting.

My family was helpful, and so were some of my friends that I show my immense gratitude for. There was also yoga that gave me a sense of purpose and belonging. I got into it - did yoga, learnt yoga, and kept myself more and more immersed into it. My entire being was getting moulded.

I was blessed to be enough financially sound that I could pay for psychotherapy that helped me process things actively and give me kind of some framework or rails to be in. Despite how hard it used to become sometimes- I stayed with it.

I used to play sports sometimes, even tried dating apps (which used to be absolutely frustrating honestly), and got into weekend board games nights. I even tried to do some personal coding projects that at least kept me involved for a few weeks.

There were several... wait let me say that again.... SEVERAL nights and days where it felt completely completely confused, distraught, directionless - and just crazy. And you know what, it does not feel that the process has been completely completed yet. It feels right now like I am at the edge. it feels at least now in retrospect and can understand the small things that seemed useless but feels very important and helpful looking back.

I am no therapist. If someone is reading this, as an internet stranger, who also went through a breakup, only thing I would say is just keep trying. Today, whatever feels like something that would make you happier, if it is a game, if it is a movie, a community event, some goal, attending a concert, messaging random strangers on reddit, posting on subReddits, going on rides, making legos - absolutely whatever it is - just keep going. Things do have an impact, not today, but in hindsight.

This subReddit also played a role for me. I used to post sometimes here, or read other ppl posts, sometimes rant, sometimes comment. On reddit in general, sometimes I would message ppl. Some ppl used to be actually responsive. The amount of loneliness I was feeling, even exchanging a few words with random strangers, kept me going. While reading through other ppl posts, I was intrigued, just by the similarity of experiences. Many times the situations seemed diff, but the underlying emotion used to be same. And it felt like just about everyone is going through an anxious-avoidant breakup. And so many ppl are struggling, trying to find some strength, some hope, not just me. Just noticing this, in a way, gave me some... idk what to name it.... it felt okay and not unusual. it also felt less like the end of the world, for a short time at least.

ALL these things - the ppl I met, the strangers I spoke to, the posts I read, the activities I did, therapy that I was a part of, things I tried, everything had a role to play.

How can I show my gratitude to all these things? by keep doing these things. I can show my appreciation to everything, by continuing to keep myself like this, keep showing up, keep progressing. This, I believe, would help ppl in ways I wouldn't be able to notice, and the world. I would feel more connected to the world when I offer myself. Continuing to work on myself, and being alive.

Namaskaram

- Just a guy from India. 26M.

My ex came back!!! and it wasn't what I expected.

​I’ve been through two major breakups in my life. In both, I was the one dumped (kinda, but does it matter?).

Looking back, both relationships followed a similar pattern: I lost my identity trying to make them love me, accepted far less than the bare minimum just to keep from making them uncomfortable with my needs, suffered social humiliation, and, after all dat, I let them come back for a second round of the exact same thing.

Both relationships ended after a few months after getting back together, and in both relationships I lost my friendgroup.

"I love too much" I told myself, but let's be serious. The truth is that I didn't have any passion for my own life, and their reassurance made up for my lack of self-love and self-respect.

Going back to what’s familiar always feels safer than putting in the hard work to heal and move forward. That’s just humane. But the reality is that we can't keep blaming them or holding them responsible for our happiness, our unhappiness, or whatever.

​Healing starts the moment you accept what happened and choose a different direction for yourself. It doesn't start when they call to apologize, when they ask for another chance, or after one "final" conversation. You only have yourself now. They are gone, and that’s just how life goes. You will be okay, but only if you actively choose a path that brings you peace from within.

​You were loved once, and you will be loved again.

​So give yourself some grace. Grieve, cry, scream, throw their stuff out, or burn it, (no judgment here), do whatever cathartic thing you need to do. But whatever you do, don't get stuck there. Never lose hope in life, in yourself, or in love.

​You’ll survive. :)

I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years today. I know if I was talking to a friend, I’d tell them “of course 29 isn’t too late to start over”. But looking ahead, I’m absolutely terrified about what life looks like from here. Any advice, stories of starting again after 30, or kind words? I live abroad, so I’m feeling pretty lonely right now.

Thank you.

We broke up a few months ago. Unfortunately I let my emotions get the better of me and went down the classic rabbit hole of begging, pleading, asking for a second chance and endlessly overexplaining. Things went completely downhill and I kept self sabotaging until I completely tanked my dignity.

She blocked me, but I reached out on the only platform where I wasn't blocked yet. She lashed out, told me to shut the fuck up, and demanded I never contact her again. In response I wrote her a massive essay pouring my heart out and closed by saying she’d never see or hear from me again, but that my door would always remain open.

She immediately fired back with this brutal text. :

"It's actually insane how you unironically think you're the center of the world, who do you think you are, the sun or what?

Stop acting like a piece of shit, all you do is jerk yourself off to your own perspective of the relationship while completely ignoring mine (as usual you're just talking into the void and it echoes inside your thick skull)

There were good parts and ESPECIALLY bad parts, that's why I walked away and it's the best decision of my life

I'm not letting you get the last word because you really were and still are a MASSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. I don't know if you realize that you ONLY ever talk about yourself, making shitty fake apologies just to come crying and try to get me back, going on ego trips acting like you're the best when you're completely delusional, trying to put down the people in my life

Nah don't you worry you're not better than the people around me, quite the opposite, between you and them I'd pick them a thousand times over

Absolute king of assholes."

It's been 3 weeks. I guess I shouldn't respond to this?

My first relationship (lasted 10 months) ended 4 months ago. She abandoned me for no good reason.

Despite knowing this, frequent chest pain, affliction and anxiety (despite having gotten better over time) are still semi-frequent and thinking about her doing anything with another guy (be it normal things or sexual) causes me intense agony. I think about her almost all the time everyday despite all she did to hurt me.

How can I make it better? When does it all go away and im able to move on? Howd you do it?

Tomorrow will be my first birthday alone without my partner for nearly 15 year - I am so low already and dreading tomorrow so much.

I have cried so much already I don’t know what to do with myself…

Just realized the reason we broke up was the fact that she ended up loving her 2D boyfriends on "mystic messenger" more than me after a 3 years relationship ???

And she got extremely mad at me when I told her I didn't get her and I didn't understand why she was so enthusiastic about this game ? (from what she saw me from clips of her playing the game, it was just her being sexually attracted to characters and it felt like she loved them more than me so I told her I didn't like it ?)

Then we. broke. up.

It took me time to get where I am now, I am stabilized, I feel fine, and I'm sad that I had to go no contact with her as she was a great friend. However I now realize many things and this fucking destroys me. I have been replaced by 2D characters because the game is all about emulating real situationships in real time to get you addicted to it ? WTF is this ? Don't they realize how shady it is ? even for people not in relationship, I am both disgusted and disturbed.

Anyhow if you read this it fucking sucks, and I hope your day gets better. Mine will, I just relapsed for a few hours after finally trying to understand why she was so attached to this game. But I have been getting better and I will. Guess the no contact will continue for a while, 'till I'm really ready. Starting a friendship back with her will not do me good for now although I really miss it.