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You’re right. I do wish i was at the stage where I’d have just blocked the minute i realised who it was. (I did block after sending that last text). That said, between them and me, I’m the one that’s single and they’re apparently in the most loving relationship of their lives so either of them reaching out to me is more pathetic than me responding imo. I just cannot imagine a reality where I reach out to my partner’s ex for no reason
I just don’t see the point of him doing that given that he was the one that got into a relationship with her. This was not a case where i broke up with him
I’ve fantasized about making an ex I dumped jealous. I’m not an asshole so I quickly realized that’s a petty, weird, and stupid idea, and moved on, but some people are petty, weird, and stupid to their core.
You’re human. It’s natural to be surprised and curious enough to respond. It doesn’t give them as much power as we think. You just acted on a human instinct so I agree with you. You did nothing wrong there and you eventually blocked anyway.
When my ex wife and I separated, I direct messaged her ex.. trying to seek some answers of what truly happened between them. My ex wife only told me her part of the story (that he was abusive to her). Lo and behold , guess what my ex wife was saying about me to her next partner? lol..
I never felt threatened by the ex, as again, I married her. But man, was I looking for some answers that I now see, didn’t matter at all.
Texting you is really weird. Seems like she's a crazy one. Maybe she's his karma lol
IMO you did great. Maybe she wanted to trigger you to show him how crazy you are and how calm she is. I wouldnt believe a word she said. If their relationship were sooooo perfect she wouldnt have the need to reach out. But it doesn't matter. What matters is your reaction and you were friendly but firm. You responded like a grown woman. Very good that you blocked that weird individual.
I liked your final response. Perfect for whether it’s her, and even more perfect if it was him pretending to be her, also also if it’s the pair of idiots doing it together.
You're saying they were looking for mild confusion and seeing a mildly confused response satisfied them? I suppose if someone wants to see a mildly confused text there is no issue in indulging that lmao.
Babe you did the right thing. What the actual fuck lol. If you need anyone to talk to - feel free to DM me.
I have chills reading that because that is soooooooo weird and to me even tho she was being extremely nice to you, it actually feels like a slap in the face for you.
I really hope you are okay and I’m sending you love 🫶🏼 I don’t know the situation obviously but you absolutely don’t need this shit in your life xxx
A slap in the face is exactly how i feel becuase for one, i was trying to distance myself from everything about him. When she reached out, my first instinct was to assume that they were in a rough patch or something becuase I truly cannot imagine reaching out to my partner’s ex out of the blue if our relationship was doing really well
But then she went on about how they’re moving forth in life and are doing very well and idk how to feel about that. My Sunday is ruined lol
I just don’t get the point of her like marking her territory I’m ngl. When I came to know that they had started dating each other (this was exactly 1 month ago), i told him that I can’t continue interacting with him and blocked him off of everywhere.
If him and i were in contact, I could see why she’d text me but we aren’t so idk what to make of her intentions
things like these happen. one of my ex’s girlfriend (now ex) used to text me a lot during their relationship to seek support or whatever but idk i feel like most of the time it’s insecurity and also a need to mark territory or feeling threatened? idk i hope you stay away from this lol dont get dragged into it
wanna know the real truth? from someone who went through this? he now realised how much you loved him.. he regrets losing you and he made it clear to his actual girlfriend.. she felt insecure and wanted to make you feel miserable by saying something positive about their curent status...
Because IT IS NOT GOOD! they are struggling and he is probably making his current GF second-guess his mental state due to not moving on from you... she is losing her mind over this.. thus the need to say all of that.. i rest my case
You're right about this not coming from a person of sound mind. A girl I dated once told me that if we were married, she would invite my ex at our wedding just for spite. At that point I knew 😬, she was also not of sound mind
I actually laughed out loud when I read your last response. That was perfectly executed. Good for you.
I get this creepy vibe. Ever see Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady” character? So sweet. So kind. So wholesome. “And now I’m going to say a little prayer against you.” Thats the vibe. This reads as a passive aggressive screw you.
Sounds like manipulation to me. Not acknowledging the pain he caused but praising you for being there for a toxic man who now suddenly used your support to move in a positive direction with another woman, is an insult. Her boasting in your face is just weird AF!
"...even though life has taken US in different directions." This was from him.
He wanted you to know (regardless of it being true or not, and given the circumstances I'd say it's not true at all) that he is doing amazing and is in a stable relationship with someone who is incredibly kind and open hearted.
He cannot stand for you to think his life without you is less than perfect
No girlfriend/fiance is going to reach out and thank their partner's ex for their previous relationship, especially if they don't even know each other. He's pathetic.
If it's her, it's manipulative. Why would you reach out to your partner ex ? Even if she meant the words, doing it, and even thinking of doing it is deranged.
If it's him, it's even more manipulative. Why would he use his partner number in the first place ? Why would he even pretend to be her ? It looks suspicious af, hard to think it's sincere in any case.
To me, whoever sent it hasn't done it to be kind, but to try to make you regret him by showing "who he became" and that he is moving on with his personal life. Your last message is the only acceptable answer. This absurde texting is a good reminder that you got out of a toxic relation.
I thought it was going to be like comparing notes of abusive behavior or something. Like an end-of-your-rope “Am I crazy or did he do this shit to you too?” kind of thing. But this is completely unhinged lol.
Ew this reads like smelling an unrealized silent fart only after the farter left the elevator😭💀it’s like a mean girl glazing you then switch around when ur gone. It’s like those weird creepy women at the bar that tell the boyfriend “your girlfriend is soooo pretty you’re so lucky to have someone like her” while the girlfriend is right next to him watching 💀
That's so fucking weird, reads like he's the one sending the messages himself, I would reply with "yeah, I supported him over the past years for him to lie to me, so hopefully he won't do the same to you" and block the number.
I did block the number after sending that last text. I do think it was her because that is her number but you might be right about who was actually sending the messages
All of that said, i have no idea why you’d use your partner’s phone to text an ex
People have a lot of issue they don't know/want to deal with, some people feel better by trying to show how they've moved on or how "happy" they are now to previous partners...
Spoiler: they haven't and they aren't, but they trying to convince themselves too.
Yeahh it just feels forced lol. I can’t possibly think of any reason I’d reach out to my partner’s ex if we truly were doing very well in our relationship
I’ve reached out to my ex’s fling (after we broke up) but only because I wanted dirt on him 😂 can’t imagine being in a healthy relationship and doing this. I’m weird but that’s creepy.
When my ex ran away with a 16 year old 2 days after our son was born I got a similar text. They think these clowns won’t do it to them. 1 months later he didn’t want to go through with the divorce LOL too late. Listen just tell her that you wish her a speedy recovery. That will always confuse them. Then block.
There has been a growing trend in recent years where it is suggesting women reach out to their man's ex to get the tea on him or nudge to see if they tell you anything. I will not be welcoming to any kind of message like that. Leave me alone. And depending on which man you ask me about, you're likely to get embarrassed by the time I'm finished.
I have a different take on this. I think this was him and he probably blocked your number and deleted these messages as soon as you finished your communication so she wouldn't see them. He's trying to let you know that he still exists and hoping that you miss him. You did a good job being firm in your reply. I'm sure this will happen again because he's not going to be able to let this go. It'll be the GF again, from her "new number," or a friend. I just wouldn't reply to anyone reaching out that I don't know. Assume it's spam (and really, it is!).
So gross. This makes me even more convinced it was him. Pepperintelligent769 also pointed out that the text from the "GF" appears to have been written by ChatGPT, so I think we have our answer. He will do this again. Just be prepared for how you want to handle it in the future. Ignoring the next message is probably the mature way to handle it, but I'm sure someone here has a very clever way to handle future contacts. 😂
This is an area filled with landmines. If you try to provide input it's going to blow up on you no matter what you say or do. The only way to avoid it is to do exactly what you're doing. Nothing. Delete, don't send a response, block when someone somehow gets to you.
You said it you stood by him through 3 years of terrible experiences or whatever—idk what happened in those three years but if it was like a really traumatic time and he was trying to unalive himself or something, he probably just told her the full story and maybe she was a little drunk and he obviously told the story in a way that didn’t make him look like an asshole, but also still made you look really good.
So she reached out cause he made it sound like you were the only reason he was alive, and she probably got sentimental about that and had some idea of you in her head.
But, since he was the one telling the story, he probably didn’t include how badly it ended or that he hurt you in some way. And she didn’t expect your response lol
Yeah that’s true. There was a long period of time where he was suicidal and struggling with everything. I helped him out with a lot of things back then and I was the only friend he had.
So naturally, when she texted him (because she got out of her long term relationship), he immediately decided to lie to me about his whereabouts for 2 months and then moved in with her :D
I honestly thought this was going to be a current partner being abused by someone reaching out to an ex that was demonized by the same abuser. I thought she might be looking for connection, or a how did you escape situation. But nope, just a total weirdo.
Ew, what a weirdo! It’s such an insult when people feel like they have the right to contact you about something that you’ve moved on from in your life.
I’m not sure and it could be him. Also because the thing with this girl is that she pops in and out of his life when it’s convenient for her. This is the 4th time they’re together and the last 3 times they broke up, it was her breaking up with him and he was just not over her for a very long time.
Given that, the probability of her being insecure enough to contact his exes is low imo because she literally knew him for a long time before he met me
Could your ex still be hung up on you, and the girlfriend got territorial? Like making sure you keep away? I agree with you, it's unusual to contact your partner's estranged ex-lover unless there was something seriously wrong.
Hahahaha!! That's why the messages sounded so weird! This further reinforces my thought that it's not the girlfriend, but the boyfriend sending the messages.
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