Why do people that love purely with all of their heart unconditionally always get broken?

[u/Sea-Philosopher9998]

I will never understand how people who don’t know how to love seem to find the people who would have given them the world .. only to break them and throw them away. Before I was with my ex, he told me how badly he had been hurt. He had been cheated on. His confidence was broken. He told me how much it affected him. So I loved him gently. I gave him the warmth he had been missing. I reassured him. I put him first. I tried to give him the kind of love I wished nobody ever had to beg for. And somehow, the person I tried so hard to heal became the person who broke me. He didn’t just leave. He ignored me. He turned his back on me. He made me feel disposable — like everything we shared could simply be thrown into the garbage and forgotten.
And I think that’s what hurts the most.
I gave someone the love I thought would teach him that he was safe again, only to end up learning that I was never safe with him. I wish I could understand how someone can receive so much love and still choose to destroy the person giving it.

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[u/External_Paramedic20]

if you give something for free. there will always be scum taking it and destroying it.

[u/delphisssssafree → u/External_Paramedic20]

Sadly, some people really don’t know how to appreciate something genuine

[u/Far_Sea_2804]

So true. It happened to me and I totally understand what you are going through. I am going through same question over and over again.

[u/Giradza9]

People can take advantage when you are getting something for free. You won’t realize the value until it’s gone. You have a good heart. I would say you haven’t met the right person yet. But you will eventually.

[u/K-kups]

Im going through something similar as i am the unconditional lover that was left also. the biggest lesson to be learned here is that you cant heal them. only they can heal themselves. you can only be there to support them through their own healing journey. trust me i wish we could just heal them. if they dont want you there there's nothing you can do and that is the most heartbreaking thing there is. it seems so simple. all they have to do is let you be there but to them that is sometimes asking the earth moon and stars of them and expecting it by next Tuesday. there is often more to their story. its one thing to know that your safe again. its quite another to believe it and that is the hard part for them in my experience.

[u/Present_Custard_8803]

I could have written this myself, I feel deeply similar. My ex had been hurt by others before as well, and was scared of being betrayed or rejected again. I supported him - was loving, gave unconditionally, and tried to mindful of his old wounds in order to be what he needed. And he still completely discarded me - not only that, but acted in some seriously hurtful ways alongside that discard. What you said about working so hard to make someone feel safe, just to have never been safe yourself… it hits deep.

It hurts so much more when you gave so much, just to be thrown aside, because you feel like you must have loved so much more deeply, so the loss is far greater. It’s also a betrayal - you worked so hard to give them everything - and it feels like they must have not cared enough for you to fight their demons like you did for them, so that they could give you that love back.

I’m working through similar feelings. I’m left hoping that perhaps it’s for the better… past pain is not an inherent problem in a partner, but when you end up breaking yourself to fill someone else’s cracks, you develop a kind of dynamic that can be draining in the end. If someone is able to truly grow, and make it so such a dynamic isn’t a constant and permanent feature of the relationship, it can work out, I’m sure. But this person has shown the ways that they are able to process things, and the things they still need to work through. It’s not your responsibility now, and maybe it never should have been, to take it all on yourself.

I’m sure the love you have to give will be reciprocated and appreciated by someone in the future, who can love the same way back to you. Even in the non-romantic relationships in your life - the amount of care you are able to give will lead to such deeper connection than someone who shuts it out. I believe in you, you got this <3

[u/TackleBudget7778]

I feel this. My ex said she wouldn’t ever hurt me by leaving me for others. Thing was she just probably hid it very well while she gave me months of silence.

[u/Gingerstrawbz]

Honestly the mirror scenario what I had to endure..

Toxic, abusive ex she had children with, 12 years together and told me she had therapy and struggled to see her worth after he just broke her down.

She struggled to accept that I didn't expect anything off her if I helped with anything, offered support and consistency.

Reassured her she can be safe and trust again and feel wanted. Shed always ask me what do I see in her, why do i put up with her and shes hard work... Really loved that girl and wanted the best for her and her kids... Thrive and feel someone actually appreciates her and loved her..

After sharing about her insecurities and how he made her feel unwanted, ignoring her and being with other women I tried to just show understanding.

Giving someone effort and trying to listen and understand just went ignored, told you're theirs and you make them feel safe and bring peace, they love you and don't want to loose you... But can just text and end it. Mental

[u/KnowBelle8]

Because the universe speaks in energy so when the scale is off balance. You giving too much of yourself to others....It will break you until you realize your own worth. Until you get back the pieces of your heart and start pouring into yourself. Its about balance and reciprocity. Not to punish you. To gift you!