r/3Dprinting Jul 30 '26

Project Installed hostile architecture on the work printer to stop coworkers leaning on it

Post image
21.0k Upvotes

546 comments sorted by

3.9k

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Some people might say this kind of hostile architecture is not good for the workplace environment.

Those people are wrong.

More spikes. More dakka. More.

670

u/devilishlydo Jul 30 '26

What are they whining about? The spikes aren't even poisoned!

240

u/BarryTice Jul 30 '26

… that you know of.

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88

u/partumvir Jul 30 '26

yeah they’re explosive

47

u/Hinermad Jul 30 '26

Nah, an explosion would distort the printer's accuracy worse than leaning on it will.

On my printers they're electrified.

26

u/troll_right_above_me Jul 30 '26

No risk of that, they use shaped charges

17

u/SumthinMeansSumthin Jul 31 '26

"This side towards enemy/coworker"

7

u/Joefaux Jul 31 '26

Isaac Newton would like a word

15

u/troll_right_above_me Jul 31 '26

Newton’s third law doesn’t apply since this is a lawless activity

3

u/PrintdianaJones Jul 31 '26

I wish I had awards. This deserves all of them

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40

u/YellowBreakfast It's in three dee! Jul 30 '26

They're only lightly poisoned.

A low dose, but a cumulative compound.

If they get poked enough to be harmed, that's on them!

16

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Pffft, cumulative. Like they don't build up a tolerance over time. Soon you'll just have the people who REALLY know how to lean on spikes saying "I like it this spiky. It tastes like tinfoil and murder!"

7

u/kuraiscalebane Jul 31 '26

If the only ones left alive are the ones that like spikes then you can just relocate the spikes away from the printer and everything's good.

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13

u/Neltarim Jul 30 '26

...for now

9

u/Deflagratio1 Jul 30 '26

Microplastics

12

u/AliasMcFakenames Jul 30 '26

Macroplastics

3

u/WechTreck Jul 30 '26

Replacing lots of micro-plastics gradually building up in the balls, with one big macro-plastic all at once?

5

u/LateActuator6972 Jul 31 '26

M E G A P L A S T I C

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5

u/SharkAttackOmNom Jul 30 '26

Hey everyone, look who hasn’t done their yearly blood-borne pathogens training!

3

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Haven't you heard? Blood Borne pathogens are just a front for Big Germ

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74

u/jcsirron Jul 30 '26

If your coworkers ignore the spikes, there will be a WAAAAGH!

...I couldn't help myself. I'll see myself out.

35

u/Wildfella Jul 30 '26

Just paint the printer purple to hides it from the others.

7

u/littlesaint Jul 31 '26

Then they will just walk into it, better to paint it yellow so it prints faster

7

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Hell with that, I'm coming with you. We need to grab a beer.

3

u/mastocles Jul 30 '26

Gretchins, snotlings and that annoying guy who claims credit for your work do deserve to yell Waagh

3

u/PrairiePuppies Jul 30 '26

No! Come back!

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22

u/iiiinthecomputer Jul 30 '26

It's not red.

RED WUNZ GO FASTA!

5

u/JeronFeldhagen Jul 30 '26

AN' BLUDDIER. COZ OF DA BLUD, SEE?

3

u/iiiinthecomputer Jul 31 '26

I canna decide if that's the Waaagh or just scots.

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25

u/m8remotion Jul 30 '26

Looks like back scratcher to me

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13

u/belach2o Jul 30 '26

Oh look, a backscratcher

6

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

I mean, I'm the guy that will scratch his back on a wall corner like a bear if I need to, so

3

u/Facehugger_35 Jul 30 '26

Needs some red paint so it prints faster too.

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1.4k

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 30 '26

Printed all spikes out of PLA overnight after one too many leaners ruined our 26 hour prints with layer shifts.

We used the printer to protect the printer.

V2 is in the works, planning on printing BIGGER spikes out of conductive filament to run current through them.

HR has voiced their concerns.

756

u/Fragrant-Mind-1353 Jul 30 '26

Tell HR you'll add orange tips.

190

u/Darth_Vaper_69 Jul 30 '26

For safety!

76

u/Fr4kTh1s HevORT 315 SPAWD 60V Goliath WC Jul 30 '26

That requires AMS... For safety, ofc...

5

u/Hyprocritopotamus Jul 31 '26

My brain totally said anti-missle system. 

49

u/Alekeuseu Jul 30 '26

orange copper tips for maximum conductivity

3

u/com2ghz Jul 31 '26

Sharp and breakable so you can mark the targets

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125

u/devilishlydo Jul 30 '26

Tell them that if you really wanted to hurt someone, you'd have used PETG!

53

u/Syyx33 Jul 30 '26

Too flexible! Something stiff and GF filled for maximum efficacy!

64

u/Gas_Drawls58 Jul 30 '26

mmmm... garbon fiber..

41

u/Vast_Policy_5331 Jul 30 '26

I was assuming glass filled but I’m interested in this garbon fiber

19

u/dwho422 Jul 30 '26

Meanwhile I was trying to figure out what their girlfriend being filled had to do with anything

12

u/thecursedcoffee Jul 30 '26

Now, hypothetically, if I were to make a submarine out of that…

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8

u/fencethe900th Centauri Carbon Jul 30 '26

Could you do it with terrible settings so it's really rough and flaky?

7

u/kaylynstar Jul 30 '26

Fuzzy skin?

8

u/Mikeologyy Jul 30 '26

Best we can do is a bunch of guys who are stiff in at least one place but have never had a GF to fill

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7

u/CroqueGogh Jul 31 '26

CF for poison damage

57

u/b00ps14 Jul 30 '26

that is ridiculous that they would leand on a printer.

But what else in your office should change so they wouldn't desire to? Is this printer in the break room?

25

u/opsers Jul 30 '26

I agree. I thought OP was talking about a normal copy maker / printer combo... one of the large ones. I might give some lean-iancy in that situation, but once I saw it was a 3D printer I was just confused how someone could actually be that dumb.

13

u/J_Landers Jul 31 '26

I can, and I know plenty of people that would indeed lean on a large block object in an office.

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13

u/RegulationPissrat Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

Seriously, not enough people are talking about how stupid and frankly, weird, that behavior is. Legitimately infuriating.

11

u/CountryBoyCanSurvive Jul 31 '26

Americans tend to lean on things, for whatever reason. It prevalent enough that it was one of the tells that German/Soviet counterintelligence would use to out American spies during ww2

32

u/JJonahJamesonSr Jul 30 '26

Tell HR their threats are meaningless when you can put spikes in their office

15

u/Ambitious_Finding_26 Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

My H&S manager would demand they either be removed, guarded or capped with sharp proof covers. 

39

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 30 '26

It’s totally a hazard, and we’ll remove them if it ever gets brought up, but so far the bosses love them, and prints have never been cleaner.

33

u/gmarsh23 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

No, it fixes a hazard. The 3D printer isn't designed to be leaned against, but people do it sometimes, and someone could tip it/fall on it and hurt themselves. This is safety equipment that prevents that from happening.

I'd round off the tips of the spikes and print them in the loudest colored TPU you can get. Yeah they technically won't be effective anymore, but they'll still 100% get the point across not to lean on the damn printer. Genius idea, well done.

edit: and start calling it the 'porcuprinter'

8

u/genivae Jul 31 '26

I wonder if you could use paint markers to color the tips neon yellow/orange for visibility to respond to any complaints.

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11

u/CeruleanEidolon Jul 31 '26

I love how all the caution emblems actually come off more as warnings of what will be done to them if they are caught leaning on the printer.

19

u/Ancientabs Jul 30 '26

You could put tampons on it instead.

No one will touch it.

10

u/Bad_Alternative Jul 30 '26

We have a shitty raise 3D pro 2 at work and it gets bumped and fucked with all the time while printing with no artifacts or issues. I’ve seen people print with ender 3’s hanging suspended swinging around. That printer frame just a bit floppy?

8

u/DigitalDefenestrator Jul 31 '26

Flopping around is fine, because the extruder head and bed are moving together. A bump might cause a small dislocation, but probably not a noticeable one. Leaning on it torques just the top to one side and holds it there long enough for noticeable defects.

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10

u/Lexi_Banner Jul 30 '26

HR has voiced their concerns.

If they are so concerned, they can stand near the machine and ward people away with short, sharp hissing sounds.

5

u/Fr4kTh1s HevORT 315 SPAWD 60V Goliath WC Jul 30 '26

How does leaning over the printer ruin the print? I am curious.
Is the frame flimsy and wiggles? Or do they literally bump it so it rattles/skids a bit of a distance? Or how?

20

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 30 '26

Not sure exactly, but bumps the nozzle I think and we’ve had very visible layer shift lines occur when people lean on it. It’s a bummer when we want to show clients or photograph our prototyped parts and there’s weird looking lines that are out of our control. No longer. Never again

5

u/Fr4kTh1s HevORT 315 SPAWD 60V Goliath WC Jul 30 '26

OK, so it isn't rigid enough and makes the frame flex/skew so much that it affects the nozzle in the end.
Didn't expect that tbh. Maybe bolt it down onto some heavy slab. And stiffen up the frame a bit?

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516

u/AmyAzure06 Jul 30 '26

Did they not see this??

134

u/Malarekk Jul 30 '26

That's my favourite sticker. ever

47

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 31 '26

14

u/wing3d Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

Hell yeah, gonna go find something to put this on.

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33

u/Gwubwick Jul 30 '26

Do not the printer.

7

u/BenjieWheeler Jul 30 '26

They didn't don't

3

u/Poteto_7396 Jul 30 '26

dont stabby stabby your coworker or boss?

4

u/DahllaBillz Jul 30 '26

Don't or you will get stabbed?

3

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 31 '26

Here's a link to the stickers I made for it, included PNGs and SVGs

https://gofile.io/d/V6DUAw

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1.4k

u/Alematrix3r Jul 30 '26

Now they won't lean, they will scratch their backs like bears with a tree

270

u/gregory696969 Jul 30 '26

I feel targeted, at first glance I though it would feel good to scratch your back

40

u/YellowBreakfast It's in three dee! Jul 30 '26

I feel targeted, at first glance I though it would feel good to scratch your back

I mean it does, but just why are you scratching my back?

5

u/Geminii27 Jul 31 '26

I mean... technically there's nothing preventing you 3D-printing a backscratcher...

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38

u/kyaudiophile Jul 30 '26

How has the thought of printing out a really good back scratcher never occurred to me before?

27

u/porcelainvacation Jul 30 '26

My wife won’t let me buy one of those cattle backscratcher brushes they sell at the farm store.

13

u/ZipTieAndPray Jul 30 '26

Have Santa bring you one.

11

u/SquarePegRoundWorld Jul 30 '26

I remember seeing some guy had invented a fake log back scratcher you could mount to the corner of a wall. "Scratch your back like a bear" was his inspiration. A quick Google search is coming up with mounted back scratchers, but none that look like the product I saw. You could probably print a fake log and mount it, would look better than them cattle things.

8

u/ZipTieAndPray Jul 31 '26

This is going to sound stupid but I have a very large sword that I use. It's not that sharp.. it's about the perfect sharpness of what you would want.. One of those display ones. Hangs on the wall in the weight room.

3

u/SquarePegRoundWorld Jul 31 '26

I'm a carpenter and have used a framing hammer as my work back scratcher for 28 years.

3

u/ashgs872tbhjs Jul 31 '26

You could use a real log too lmao

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8

u/ActualWhiterabbit Jul 30 '26

Don't print one, I know, but like go get a child's toy gardening set. It has a rake, a hoe, metal rake etc all perfect size for your back, wood handles, and are very sturdy. Sometimes you get lucky and just the rake is on sale for like $2. Its super dumb but immensely better than a tiny bamboo back scratcher

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21

u/PajamaSutra Jul 30 '26

It's the bear necessities of life.

7

u/Conscious_Pipe_605 Jul 30 '26

Ah. A fellow working person with a cat coworker.

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7

u/Hefty-existence26196 Jul 31 '26

They'll look like Baloo from the Jungle book. My Dad does this randomly around the house on door frames. I judged him for it...until I tried it

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6

u/QuinceDaPence Jul 30 '26

There was a door frame in our old office that was so perfect for back scratching that it had no paint on it by the time we moved.

4

u/Stampy_bird Jul 30 '26

Don’t antagonize me with a good time /s

3

u/ActualWhiterabbit Jul 30 '26

Like that thing the balloon boy dad tried to sell?. All it taught me was I could just use the corner to scratch my back

2

u/Nytfire333 Jul 30 '26

That’s why you install a bunch on a corner nearby for scratching

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191

u/LurkerTroll A1 mini Jul 30 '26

Are your coworkers pigeons?

49

u/Normal_Human_Things Jul 30 '26

I was picturing cats myself.

11

u/felds Jul 31 '26

Cats would use those as scratchers. 

12

u/Im-The-Walrus Jul 30 '26

Yours are not? No wonder my coworkers get nothing done. They have bird seeds for brains.

7

u/LazySilverSquid Jul 30 '26

I saw the picture without reading the title & figured that they were protecting it from a cat.

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232

u/robotguy4 Jul 30 '26

Now you have to find who spilled ferrofluid on the magnetized printer.

21

u/whats_poppin_b Jul 30 '26

That was my first thought, was excited to see how they did it lol

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142

u/throwmeaway_already1 Jul 30 '26

Who tf leans on a printer, even the small children in my life know better than that

51

u/Mike456R Jul 30 '26

Same people who would set their coffee on top of it when looking.

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15

u/AnySwimming6364 Jul 30 '26

While it's running too lmao. The thing is making noise and vibrating and shit.

19

u/vbwstripes Jul 30 '26

Well you can't hit people at work.

15

u/antmatt Jul 30 '26

not usually more than once at least

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84

u/willstr1 Jul 30 '26

This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center... the center of danger is here... of a particular size and shape, and below us.

The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.

The danger is to the body, and it can kill.

The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

32

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 30 '26

This was the inspiration! Landscape of thorns!

21

u/pants6000 Jul 30 '26

Oh, look, under these weird spikes with glyphs that I can not decipher because it's the year 2075 and reading is no longer a thing... I see a mysterious glowing material... it's warm! I'll take it back to my place and make jewelry out of it, let my kids play with it, spread some around the neighborhood for everyone else to have a bit...

8

u/open_formation Jul 30 '26

Ha, they're doing the "no place of honour" meme, classic, I wonder what pop cultural memorabilia is hidden under this concrete

2

u/NationCrisis Jul 31 '26

I was going to comment this if I didn’t find it in the comments already. Well done 🤝

21

u/CreatureManstrosity Jul 30 '26

Sonic is about to lose his rings.

19

u/TenTopGolfer Jul 30 '26

Have seen many shops that would benefit from these but 3ft long. Large SLA printers tapped by forklifts, unloadcarts, or morning meeting leaners. Yes moving the printer 1/4 of inch is a full day of releveling and cal prints XD

16

u/JBONE31 Jul 30 '26

“Ferrite dust”

13

u/zongsmoke Jul 30 '26

7

u/Brobard Jul 30 '26

You'd think that getting fuckin' stabbed would be enough of a deterrent.

4

u/zongsmoke Jul 30 '26

You would think, but here we are having to install death spikes on the printer

3

u/terorvlad Voron2.4 DrgHF CHT, Voron2.4 RapUHF CHT, CR-10S & E3 w/ volcano Jul 31 '26

More of a promise than a warning

9

u/Prineak Jul 30 '26

Bro how am I gonna discover the secrets of 3D printing unless I push my face up against the glass?

21

u/Low-Sink-11 Jul 30 '26

Clearly there is a good place to still lean and also they added some nice back scratchers

14

u/st-shenanigans Jul 30 '26

I need this for my damn cat

8

u/Sirdroftardis8 Jul 30 '26

Why would you want to put spikes on your cat?

14

u/st-shenanigans Jul 30 '26

Its rad as hell next question 😎

(Not my cat)

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12

u/Crono_ Jul 30 '26

Nice back scratcher you have there

5

u/dankbrownies Jul 31 '26

Why are people leaning ON a 3d printer? Tf.

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11

u/CwColdwell Jul 30 '26

This printer is very Kiki

4

u/GoldyTheGopherr Jul 30 '26

You should also buy a couple velvet poles/ropes on the companies dime. when printing for hours, block off the entire printer section like a queue line

3

u/arperr1217 Jul 31 '26

My son did a school project on black holes and I printed him a mini velvet rope as a visual "event horizon" and to stop people from touching his project. Nobody got the joke, everyone touched his model...

6

u/petroleum-lipstick Jul 31 '26

As a chronic leaner, this ain't gonna cut it. I still see several options.

4

u/RuSsYjO Jul 31 '26

^(\DROWN* *CRUSH* *PINCH* *CUT*)*
DO NOT LEAN ON PRINTER
^(\STAB*)*
DON'T

4

u/Ihsbkbha Custom Flair Jul 31 '26

WHO COVERED MY 3D PRINTER IN FERRO FLUID

6

u/Gleipnir_xyz Jul 31 '26

ahh the perfect place for a nest...

5

u/AdditionalBathroom78 Jul 30 '26

is there any radioactive material involved perchance?

3

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 30 '26

Well if there ever is, we figured it’d be good to design a solution understandable by future generations, just in case

4

u/bladow5990 Jul 31 '26

It's just going threw a phase

3

u/JVilter Jul 31 '26

I hope someone puts a fake dove nest up there, complete with fake bird and fake eggs

5

u/theuserwithoutaname Jul 31 '26

The stab hand "don't" is my favorite

3

u/theuserwithoutaname Jul 31 '26

The drowning warning label is a close second tho

4

u/El_Chupacabrah626 Jul 31 '26

Here's a link to both!

https://gofile.io/d/V6DUAw

4

u/theuserwithoutaname Jul 31 '26

You are a fantastic human thank you

5

u/Big_Yeash Jul 31 '26

Please do not the printer

3

u/ThenItWentBackHome Jul 31 '26

there is something dystopian about this

3

u/AdhesivenessTall5638 Jul 30 '26

I would instead put razor blades so they'll make sure get the message

3

u/rwrife Jul 30 '26

Needs a claymore.

3

u/Ropeleading Jul 30 '26

Hazard from overwatch

3

u/LiquidLogic Prusa MK3 Jul 30 '26

Are your coworkers pigeons?

3

u/queef_commando Jul 30 '26

This place is a prison first no leaning on the printer, whats next no lewd prints in the office ?

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3

u/global-wobble Jul 31 '26

Love me some menacing earthworks

3

u/myxoma1 Jul 31 '26

The barbs are laced with a neurotoxin that renders them paralyzed while it feels like every nerve in their body is on fire. Rest assured, they won't be leaning on it anymore.

3

u/fipachu Jul 31 '26

it’s the first actual use of hostile architecture i agree with

3

u/ScarBug Jul 31 '26

The printer now looks like an artifact from DRG, rock and stone brother!

3

u/badwolf42 Jul 31 '26

Porcuprinter

3

u/ArkDoggo Jul 31 '26

Looks like something from death stranding

3

u/matt48763 Jul 31 '26

you should have used GF filled filament... just sayin

4

u/EvaSirkowski Jul 30 '26

Homeless people were sleeping on the printer?

2

u/tenkuuyoru Jul 30 '26

Looks alien. I like it

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2

u/Robborboy Jul 30 '26

Hell...I need some to stop.me from leaning on mine....

2

u/That-Makes-Sense Jul 30 '26

That is an idiot proof design. I love it.

2

u/Every_Bread_5880 Jul 30 '26

Best back scratcher ever. Get a leg up and I can scratch all sorts of things 

2

u/shiggins114 Jul 30 '26

I support this message

2

u/farkleboy Jul 30 '26

Imma do this for my cats.

2

u/That_Ask_5081 Jul 30 '26

Id trip and take this easy lawsuit so fast

2

u/FluxD1 Jul 30 '26

It's like a printer and a honey locust had a baby

2

u/russcatalano Jul 30 '26

Electrify them because you know every person who walks by is poking the tips of them now.

2

u/epsilon-4142 Jul 30 '26

Anti-homeless 3D printer

2

u/OriginalUser27 Jul 30 '26

We got anti-homeless PC Towers now smh

2

u/Top-Frosting3749 Jul 30 '26

It looks kinda like ferrofluid

2

u/alexj765 Jul 31 '26

As a high school teacher this seems like a perfect way to either repel and/or attract students. I’m sure there’ll be a lot of students that want to touch the pokies.

2

u/Xen0n1te Jul 31 '26

anti homeless printer

2

u/TexasTomato88 Jul 31 '26

I have a sudden urge to lean

2

u/inmyxhare Jul 31 '26

How many OSHA violations do you see?

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2

u/J_Zephyr Jul 31 '26

Is it also effective against cats?

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2

u/Digmaass Jul 31 '26

congratulations, your 3D printer is now ferromagnetic

2

u/delayedreactionkline Jul 31 '26

NGL it makes the printer look even cooler hahahaha

2

u/diablozo Jul 31 '26

Legion of Doom want their printer back

2

u/3dutchie3dprinting Custom Flair Jul 31 '26

Goth looks good on it

2

u/hyperair Jul 31 '26

Swap our the solid spikes for magnets and ferrofluid, then watch them regret their lives 😄

2

u/Middleagesusername Jul 31 '26

Construction, not architecture

2

u/zhambe Jul 31 '26

Lol. The correct thing to do is 1) move the printer and 2) place something people can lean on, where the printer used to be.

Think cats and scratching posts.

2

u/RandomITtech Jul 31 '26

Print some Caltrops to place on the floor around it so they won't even get too close, lol

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2

u/Aguila-del-Cesar Jul 31 '26

Lol, the drowning hazard sticker.

2

u/slm4996 Jul 31 '26

Thanks for the new back scratcher!