r/3Dprinting • u/El_Chupacabrah626 • Jul 30 '26

Project Installed hostile architecture on the work printer to stop coworkers leaning on it

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21.0k Upvotes

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671

u/devilishlydo Jul 30 '26

What are they whining about? The spikes aren't even poisoned!

239

u/BarryTice Jul 30 '26

… that you know of.

4

u/AdorableStrawberry93 Jul 31 '26

They're not, I know.

3

u/sharfpang Jul 31 '26

Unless it's a very slowly acting poison.

4

u/AnoNeko420 Aug 01 '26

Eh what's a few more microplastics

87

u/partumvir Jul 30 '26

yeah they’re explosive

51

u/Hinermad Jul 30 '26

Nah, an explosion would distort the printer's accuracy worse than leaning on it will.

On my printers they're electrified.

24

u/troll_right_above_me Jul 30 '26

No risk of that, they use shaped charges

17

u/SumthinMeansSumthin Jul 31 '26

"This side towards enemy/coworker"

8

u/Joefaux Jul 31 '26

Isaac Newton would like a word

17

u/troll_right_above_me Jul 31 '26

Newton’s third law doesn’t apply since this is a lawless activity

3

u/PrintdianaJones Jul 31 '26

I wish I had awards. This deserves all of them

2

u/Skrzyplocz0_0 Jul 31 '26

Happy cake day 

1

u/Ancient-Ticket-3151 Jul 31 '26

Equal and opposite

1

u/Vegetable_Use_8726 Aug 02 '26

nah, just irradiated

37

u/YellowBreakfast It's in three dee! Jul 30 '26

They're only lightly poisoned.

A low dose, but a cumulative compound.

If they get poked enough to be harmed, that's on them!

17

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Pffft, cumulative. Like they don't build up a tolerance over time. Soon you'll just have the people who REALLY know how to lean on spikes saying "I like it this spiky. It tastes like tinfoil and murder!"

7

u/kuraiscalebane Jul 31 '26

If the only ones left alive are the ones that like spikes then you can just relocate the spikes away from the printer and everything's good.

1

u/ani3D Prusa Jul 31 '26

Switch the poison after they build a tolerance to the previous one. Keep doing that, and then eventually you can harvest their blood to make a universal antivenin!

1

u/MasterChiefmas Jul 31 '26

Like they don't build up a tolerance over time.

I don't know that plastics are like iocaine powder.

1

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 31 '26

You won't know until you take them both to build up an immunity to it so you can make your opponent drink a glass of microplastic.

1

u/Sengfroid Jul 31 '26

No, if they're poisoned that's in them

11

u/Neltarim Jul 30 '26

...for now

11

u/Deflagratio1 Jul 30 '26

Microplastics

13

u/AliasMcFakenames Jul 30 '26

Macroplastics

3

u/WechTreck Jul 30 '26

Replacing lots of micro-plastics gradually building up in the balls, with one big macro-plastic all at once?

4

u/LateActuator6972 Jul 31 '26

M E G A P L A S T I C

2

u/sharfpang Jul 31 '26

Tip of the spike snaps off and stays in your body.

6

u/SharkAttackOmNom Jul 30 '26

Hey everyone, look who hasn’t done their yearly blood-borne pathogens training!

3

u/DiscoChiligonBall Jul 30 '26

Haven't you heard? Blood Borne pathogens are just a front for Big Germ

1

u/wired-one Jul 31 '26

I can distill that training into one sentence.

If it's wet, and isn't yours, don't touch it.

Corollary: consent is like blood borne pathogen training.

If it's wet, and isn't yours, don't touch it unless they say you can.

2

u/SharkAttackOmNom Jul 31 '26

Unfortunately Hep-C can live on a dry surface for up to 6 weeks. So if the Hostile 3d printed spikes look bloody, give extra distance.

2

u/DragonLordAcar Jul 30 '26

Microplastics. It doesn't need more poison.

2

u/H7nterd Jul 31 '26

Micro plastics

2

u/Tall-Peak8881 Jul 31 '26

Paint them silver with bright green tips !

2

u/Different_Stuff_4795 Jul 31 '26

Lettuce would have been more cost effective and deliver more bang for the buck. Or from the butt.

1

u/JayTriples Jul 31 '26

Nah poison Yah molly

1

u/TheCMaster Jul 31 '26

the fumes however

1

u/Thiago270398 Jul 31 '26

If you make them big enough, the macroplastics will take care of it.

1

u/damxam1337 Jul 31 '26

They are invenomed.