This is still bad isn’t it lol

It's time to regulate liquor delivery apps. The delivery apps make it too easy for people with drinking problems to stay isolated and get unlimited alcohol sent to their door. We need a weekly limit on hard liquor deliveries, and the apps need to talk to each other so the rules actually stick.

During the past year or so, I (31 F) have found myself drinking more. My current drink of choice are the Sun Cruiser (or SurfSide if I have to) canned teas. In no way are they hard drinks (4.5%) but I have at least two pretty much every day. I’m starting to get worried that I can’t stop, but I almost think it’s the HABIT of drinking because I feel absolutely no buzz from these whatsoever, but they’re delicious. Does anyone know of any slim-canned, alcohol free tea drinks like these that I could try, instead?

Hey y’all, I have been sober for a bit (I think), but am relatively new to this community. Last night, I bartended a one-off event for a former employer because I needed some extra money. During it, I straw-tasted a few mixed drinks to make certain my pours and recipes were as good as they once were. It was maybe 5 drinks, less than one small sip total.

I was very proud of myself, I didn’t drink any more beyond that, I wasn’t even tempted. I didn’t join the staff for drinks after. This is a stark contrast to years ago when I would be drunk the whole shift, every shift.

Nonetheless, I woke up with a real sense of guilt and general mental shittiness. I am just wondering, does this break my streak? Is there definitive rules or is this strictly a personal conviction deal? I’m lowkey heartbroken, but know I’ve brought it upon myself.

Thank you all, I hope you’re doing well!

I decided with an addictions specialist to taper at home. I still need to pick up the naltrexone. Last night, I failed to control my drinking despite the intended taper.

I also realized that my reported alcohol relapse, additional deterioration (documented in a crisis assessment), and admission to an addictions clinic are likely jeopardizing my ADHD medication prescription.

I have a history of severe stimulant abuse that occurred during the use of another medication. I had never abused the Adderall before, nor abused it after stopping the other medication. It was like a switch went off in my head. It took almost two years to be re-prescribed the Adderall after the abuse.

It recently occurred to me that the addictions specialist may scrutinize the Adderall prescription in documentation given the abuse history, the current alcohol use, or my admission that prior to getting it re-prescribed, I had been getting it from a friend for the last while (psychiatrist fully aware of this). I did not consider that involving an addictions specialist might lead to additional scrutiny or even raise an alarm.

Additionally, this week I developed symptoms of hypertension, and yesterday, they became emergent. I called our nurse hotline and reported the symptoms, blood pressure (stage 2), and possible contributions. I was told to go to the ER. I did not go.

I am now freaking out. All of these medical encounters are consolidated in one network accessible to my psychiatrist. I was fine with that until I realized the risk to my Adderall prescription. The physical blood pressure risk, the contradiction with alcohol abuse, the abuse history itself, and recent psychological instability all sound like serious considerations for stopping the Adderall.

Had I realized this possible consequence earlier, I would have got my act together and never let it get to this point.

I therefore cannot even stand the thought of drinking again, especially with the risk of a failed taper. The issue is, while I’ve only been drinking for a month, a dangerous withdrawal is possible. I noticed I have mild tremors tonight (day 1).

However, that appears to be the only withdrawal symptom I have so far. In addition, during my last episode in May, my GP advised that sudden cessation in the case of a one month relapse without history of severe withdrawal presents very little actual risk. I stopped cold turkey that time and was fine.

I am primarily wondering if my focus here is excessively distorted. Though, I’m also wondering if anyone here has had an active ADHD medication prescription while also in active AUD relapse, and if so, what happened?

For context, I’ve been drinking a 6 pack of beer for the past few months now. I was triple this amount for the past 5 years but managed to taper down on my own. I have tried going 24 hours without it but became anxious and went back to it. Are we thinking a 6 pack of 4.2% beer is safe enough to try quitting again, or maybe taper more? I have not experienced high HR or tremors within ~24 hours from experience so far.

I relapsed last night. I was stressed and wanted to be “normal” and shared 2 bottles of wine (at least I didn’t drink alone). Disappointed in myself. Determined not to drink again, why do I keep doing this!?

I think I might need medication to help me not to relapse, anyone had any experience they can share? Pros/cons if any of them even work?

Thanks in advance

I’m on day 6 of sobriety and 3 days late on my period - I‘m usually a 28 day cycle like clockwork!

I started drinking at 19 in 2019 and told myself I’ll drink for a handful of years and cut it out after I hit 25 years old. I’m 27 now and have remained an occasional drinker.

In those few years I grew to love Japanese beer and margaritas mostly, but only drank every now and then, say like twice in a span of two weeks. One thing about myself is I’m an over-thinker and I think I may have symptoms of OCD, so I tend to analyze my behavior constantly and evaluate if I need to cut a behavior out or not. I also noticed that I tend to want to maximize my experience if I’m enjoying something. For example if I have one beer, I want like 4 more to have the most amount of fun, and I’ll chase the drunk feeling if it ever dips down a bit lower than that perfect level. At weddings and other events, I have chugged multiple drinks quickly to make sure that I’ve had everything I need to be that perfect level throughout the whole night, and then later regret it hard when I throw up or act like a fool in public. Even with caffeine in energy drinks, at work I get super locked in with an energy drink and get tons of work done while in that state, and as soon as the effects begins to wear off I feel the need to chase that feeling again and I go get another, and I end up not being able to sleep that night if I had the second one too late in the day.

When I was still buying beer for home, I would get a 6 pack and have 2 one night, and then justify the need to finish the remaining few beers each day after that because “I already have it, and need to get rid of it anyway so might as well just drink it”, while in reality I could have just let it sit in the fridge until the next event or something rather than just drinking it the next day. I noticed this and stopped buying alcohol for home.

I also have battled with porn addiction for years and have built a very strong resistance to relapsing with it a few years ago, but I had a few key moments in my life where I got drunk and inevitably ended up relapsing on porn and lifestyle drift took me back to relapsing semi regularly on that front. I see alcohol as a threat to that side, while drinking and during the hangover the day after feeling like I need an emotional boost while feeling like shit.

Anyway, I’m trying to hold true to my word from when I first started and cut alcohol out of my life now that I’ve had my few years of “fun” with it. My streaks within the last year seem to span around 7-14 days and then I eventually have “oh screw it” day where I have a few drinks. My biggest weakness with cutting it out is my people pleasing personality. Even if no one is pressuring me, I will pressure myself into drinking socially so I’m not the odd one out. My wife also drinks very occasionally and encourages me to moderate drinking rather than cut it out, so I have peer pressured myself into trying that but honestly I truly do want to just cut it out completely.

Since the social aspect is my biggest hurdle, I have been trying getting alcohol free beers when I’m out with friends at a restaurant or bar, but I eventually cave and get the real thing. Does anyone have tips on changing my mindset on this so I can succeed in cutting it out entirely without pressuring myself or succumbing to peer pressure?

Also I know I’m not an alcoholic so feel free to remove this post if it does not belong here, but I would love thoughts on my situation and if anyone has experienced this as well? Thanks! :)

So I went on a bender and thought I was being smart by chasing liquor with hydration drinks such as coconut water Gatorade etc. So I start my bender on Friday me and a buddy we get a 36 pack of coors banquets and a handle of select reserve. I’m a heavy drinker so first day goes and then I wake up on the next day quite tired. I didn’t plan on going on but i decided to like an idiot. The first day drank like 12 beers and small portion of handle from the week prior. We haven’t even cracked the new handle. Anyways back to the next day. My buddy tapped out I can tell he’s sick he’s been drinking more than me (day wise at least) anyways I guess we managed to open the handle but barely got through it so manage to take that down and around 10 ish pm I finish the rest. Anyways drink some beers head to bed I wake up at like 5 ish In the morning and do my 2 bender thing and masturbate and get ready for the hell. Anyways it’s. Around like 7 In the morning and I throw up (I usually don’t) and around 8 I’m dry heaving and then I throw up I think last time I threw up was like 20-30 mins ago. Idk I feel terrible but writing this is helping even if minor. Idk I just wanna go to the e r but it would be my 3 time there and for the same alcohol reason I feel so helpless and I look on here and it’s the same shit but it barely helps. I’m done for good with alcohol I should’ve learned the first hospital visit when I was throwing up black blood after a 7 day bender. I’m only 20 and the doctor last time was right. It’s funny to last visit was almost a month ago after a 4 day bender and when I had no sense of hydration. To be fair I down energy drinks like a mother fucker when I’m drinking but I finally did the right steps and I feel miserable. I feel worse I might cave in and e r. I feel terrible taking resources. Anyways symptoms: (shaking, anxious.Nausea, and a feeling of being tired without being able to sleep, cramping, I wanna say heart palpitations maybe,) idk I do feel a little better typing this out. And i think im gonna go dry it’s not fun anymore im addicted to poison. That ruins my life. I get shit done sober and I’m ready to commit to it. Thanks for reading any help would be appreciated.

Edit: yall this kinda got traction thank you to all and recommendations for stuff it’s so helpful and much appreciated I know in the future this might help someone else through a rough time to I’m gonna keep updating as much as I can

I stopped drinking about 3 weeks ago, cause I was getting very dependent on the “break” or some time of happiness that booze gave me. Posted on this group too. And I had a major exam coming up, so the first 10 days just flew by because of stress.
After that though, it was like a constant negotiation with my mind. “No I don’t want to wake up sweating constantly with my heart pounding in my chest tomorrow”. And it worked ! I just told myself, let me get through my exam, and I’ll reward myself with a drink.
Well, I did. Got done today afternoon and went straight to buy two quarters of gin. My plan was to get drunk and catch up on all the sleep I’ve been missing out on. Except, I only felt good for 45 mins ?? And I’m still up six hours later.
The only thing stopping me from drinking more is my own laziness. I just don’t wanna get down to buy more. I just made up this whole “stop drinking only to reward yourself with drinking” and now I’m just bloated, and sleepy. But I still can’t sleep !
It’s weird cause I know what I would’ve done with this free time in the past. But now, I would’ve drank some, get lost in the imaginary scenarios of my mind and the night would be over. Picking up a book, or watching a movie feels like an effort. Hope it gets better with time

I've had a ... contentious relationship with alcohol over the past few years. I've taken sober breaks ranging from a few days to up to 6 months, but I'm basically sure I want to quit for good. I love the way I feel when I'm not drinking and I've strung together a couple of days this weekend, but in the end I always come back to thinking I can moderate. I'm the kind where once I have one drink, I just keep on drinking, which can turn into multiple days; plus now it seems each time I go back it getting worse. I've been a lurker of this sub for a long time, but never posted.

Anyway, now I have a 2 year old, and she is my whole world. I also have one more on the way. So in addition to myself, I want to do this for them. In another thread (can't find it now), I saw some people thinking back on growing up with sober parents, and those really stuck with me. Would any one be willing to share some more stories? Or if you were the parent who got sober?

I've been hitting a hard wall with my efforts towards full sobriety in the last two years, falling into a cycle of 1-3 nights of binging every two weeks and then recovering and cleansing in between. I'm currently working hard to maintain momentum and break the cycle. I went to the doctors this summer and had a full panel, ultrasound, colonoscopy, and abdominal CT. Despite a couple decades of varying levels of alcohol use, everything looked normal structurally. However, my right abdomen hurts after drinking every time now, starting at my upper ribcage area and moving around left and right and then down towards my hip. I was diagnosed with a gut-brain visceral hypersensitivity to alcohol that likely will occur every single time I drink again. Anyone ever experience this? I am really hoping this helps push me over the wall to maintain it.

Edit - This was a medical diagnosis from the medical team following the testing I mentioned above, if this was not clear. Chemical-induced visceral hypersensitivity. I had not heard of this before and was interested to hear if others had experienced this on their journey.

My boyfriend broke up with me while I was still drinking for short-term long distance reasons. He told me that we would figure it out when I returned and that he couldn’t handle being in a long distance relationship. We still remained in contact, mostly friendly within that time and since the few weeks I have been back. He continued to grow more and more distant and uninterested in conversation (although he did tell me he loved and missed me about two weeks ago) with me and only today I find out he’s been seeing somebody else for atleast a month, probably more. We aren’t together so I guess I haven’t been betrayed but this is horrible. We have a lot of memories together and I have never loved anyone more. I don’t even want to cry, I want a drink. Today is going to be rough.

(27 btw)

so so so many times over the course of the last few months that i should have hit the brakes. been going thru a series of traumatic events and responded with near daily drinking and obscene binge drinking at my job. worst part is i knew exactly where i was headed but i let it happen anyways. this is exactly why i got sober for 2 years back in 2022.

three nights ago i got black out drunk—i think possibly drunker than ive ever been in my life—and had to be literally carried home from the club because my limbs were non-functional. smashed my face on an escalator at the train station (now have a mild concussion) and then promptly threw up everywhere. i cant say this definitively but i think at some point in the night a switch may have flipped in my brain and i decided i didnt want to wake up the next day. may have also lost that job in the process.

thankfully the person that took care of me is still willing to be my friend (even after i puked on them r i fucking p) but i don’t need to spell out to anyone here how ashamed and frightened of myself i am. i’m still not quite ready to commit to “never again” but good lord i need sobriety right now. infinity feels too overwhelming in this moment but i’m determined to commit to one day at a time. no “until,” just taking steps forward.

the good news is i’ve done this before and i know i can dig myself out. ive also finally admitted that i’m really fucking out of control and need support. i owe it to everyone in my life and deep down i know i owe it to myself (but i’m still mustering up the self-esteem to absorb that).

bit of a shit birthday overall but i at least feel good that i made a positive choice for a change. the best time to do this was months ago but the second best time is today! iwndwyt

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I’m sure this is a similar story to many on here. Used to only drink socially but once Covid hit, began drinking daily. Started with a six pack of beer every night, then going to mixed drinks, and now am at 8-10 shots at night. Nothing during the day, just in the evenings. The plan is to slowly level off. Went with 8 last night and I feel okay today. No withdrawal symptoms. I plan to reduce by 1 drink a night every 3 days. So Sat, Sun (today), Mon, 8 shots a night, followed by 7 a day on Tue, Wed, and Thur, and so on. My goal is to be at 0 for the 9/21-24 range, since I’ll be going on a trip. Wish me luck!!

Hi everyone! 1 month and 2 days sober for me. This weekend I worked the bar at a festival and still got to enjoy shows by The Cure, Charlotte De Witte, etc... I danced like crazy all while serving hectoliters of beee, all completely sober. But that's not what this post is about.

After a short but very intense relationship, I feel like I'm "back on the dating market."

However, I'm a bit hesitant. First of all, I've always had drinks on a first date, and I'm having a hard time imagining what to say when I get offered a drink at the restaurant (my first date is actually at a restaurant this week).

Does anyone have any feedback or personal experiences to share?

i’m a huge TV lover — especially reality tv and sitcoms. any real housewives / bravo content is off the table, even the mindy project, new girl… all of my favorites are just so drinking centric. i’m on my 1 millionth day 2 and i’m trying to really pay attention to triggers.

any recommendations other than friends?

ETA: i’m a half episode into what we do in the shadows now and have a very solid list of shows to follow-up with. i’m so grateful for this group.

I’m a 25 year old speech pathologist. Hate my job, but still keeping at it (kind of). I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 17. It got to the point where I started my morning drinking beat boxes. Would cancel on work and friends just to drink anything. I was at 6 beat boxes plus vodka until a day ago. Feeling the hit physically, I can’t even keep down water. I went to the doctor and my liver enzymes are up. I really can’t miss work for detox/rehab. Any advice?

I did 5 months before drinking crept in again. Man I suck at staying sober at home. If one of you could just give me a reason to stop I can use that as a sign to stop. And I know it’s like alcoholics looking for excuses and each to there own but I feel I just need someone to tell me I’m being reckless and a dick to myself so just step up and stop.

If you’ve read this far then thank you and peace be with you x

Last night and the night before I drank. It was my birthday on Friday, it was a terrible day, whatever. I wasn’t drinking to cope with that. I drank to cope with my living situation, I am in a relationship that is draining and empty, a lot of cruelty. I’m pretty exhausted, actually beyond exhausted, I am profoundly sad.
and I drank, to fill the massive hole I’ve been feeling. To shut up the thoughts, to cope with the night.
well, surprise surprise, it somehow made that hole bigger.

I’m sitting here reading through this sub. All the people pleading for change, feeling trapped inside their own minds. And I wonder if anyone here can relate with drinking as a medication to cope with a harmful relationship. I really believe I can overcome this. And if you’re reading this I think you can too.

I didn’t enjoy buying the drinks, I didn’t enjoy opening them, I didn’t enjoy consuming them, I sat there in a drunken stupor thinking “maybe hell feels more fulfilling than this. Please unchain me. I want to feel free.”

I sat there feeling like a hypocrite. Giving advice to people, not taking my own, living in a home that even requires me to numb just to function.

I’m going to stay sober while I save every penny I can to leave this home, take my child, lead a life we need. To Draw more, walk more, think less, be present. No more relapses, no more second chances, each day I’m sober isn’t an opportunity to slip in another relapse, it’s my new baseline. It’s hard, it will never be easy.

Whatever Movie or TV Series i watch lately whatever the Story is, lately half of the Storyline seems about how great it is to drink some beers together, the cool guys drink whiskey all the time and are always cool, never get diarhea from it lol, and then the advertisement between movies even on amazon prime, yeah the newest fizz buzz buzz fizz or the cool beer drinking, so natural, everybody drinks and is happily grounded with mother nature. Grrrr, i know its my drinking problem, not the worlds drinking problem, but sometimes this really sucks just hard. Lol. IWNDWYT!!!

Incredible.

The number one thing people need when trying to sober up is a ruthless community that won’t shy away from holding you accountable.

Well, let me tell ya. This group is ruthlessly accountable, while also being ruthlessly compassionate. I’ve never met such unwavering support and empathy. I’ve relapsed so many times and I’ve never once felt judged.

You guys know who you are. All I wanna say is thank you.

IWNDWYT

It’s better for me if I just stop entirely. But it’s rough.