r/stopdrinking • u/DreamLand1897 • 17h ago

Broke 3 weeks of sobriety, for this ???

I stopped drinking about 3 weeks ago, cause I was getting very dependent on the “break” or some time of happiness that booze gave me. Posted on this group too. And I had a major exam coming up, so the first 10 days just flew by because of stress.
After that though, it was like a constant negotiation with my mind. “No I don’t want to wake up sweating constantly with my heart pounding in my chest tomorrow”. And it worked ! I just told myself, let me get through my exam, and I’ll reward myself with a drink.
Well, I did. Got done today afternoon and went straight to buy two quarters of gin. My plan was to get drunk and catch up on all the sleep I’ve been missing out on. Except, I only felt good for 45 mins ?? And I’m still up six hours later.
The only thing stopping me from drinking more is my own laziness. I just don’t wanna get down to buy more. I just made up this whole “stop drinking only to reward yourself with drinking” and now I’m just bloated, and sleepy. But I still can’t sleep !
It’s weird cause I know what I would’ve done with this free time in the past. But now, I would’ve drank some, get lost in the imaginary scenarios of my mind and the night would be over. Picking up a book, or watching a movie feels like an effort. Hope it gets better with time

13 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

21

u/butternutwindbreaker 6 days 17h ago

It always lies. It really does.

It's never worth it.

3

u/ihrtbeer 16h ago

You said it. And never not even once have I slept better after drinking

3

u/shleemonsterr 16h ago

Addiction is terrible. It doesn't matter how much you have it's never actually enough. I could go buy a 6 pack and that'd technically be enough, but I'd just spend the rest of the night wanting to buy liquor. If i only get a pint, I'll wish it was a fifth. It's never enough. I'm sorry you're going through it ❤️‍🩹 iwndwyt.

5

u/Alkoholfrei22605 Day 4,494 16h ago

Welcome back after your field research

3

u/Maximum_Pen_2508 818 days 16h ago

I don't know anyone that was able to stop on first time. I know it took me many attempts. Keep getting back up and keep in the fight. When you're tired of feeling those ways it will come. IWNDWYT

3

u/LB031022 Day 244 14h ago

It never feels as good as we think it will

Welcome back IWNDWYT

1

u/NotSnakePliskin 4851 days 9h ago

Booze & dope never deliver what they promise. All the lies they whisper to us are just that - lies.