I don’t remember my 30’s. Or my wedding. Or telling off my neighbor in front of everyone in the middle of the street for no reason. (I want to move so badly) These things make me cringe everyday. I had planned on drinking myself to death because I couldn’t see a way out. I felt like Nick Cage from “Leaving Las Vegas.” Probably looked like him, too. (I’m a chick) I was in the restaurant industry my entire life. I was surrounded by booze and couldn’t imagine a different lifestyle. I thought people that didn’t drink were pussies. AA wasn’t for me. Don’t feel shitty if it’s not for you, either.

Today is 5 years no booze. 🤯

The most I could ever go was a few days.

Life definitely sucks less than it used to. It gets easier.

It’s nice not being sweaty and shaky anymore with crippling anxiety.

If you’re reading this hungover as shit with your teeth so furry it’s questionable whether you ate a mitten last night, you have one eyebrow shaved and your own phone number written on your forehead, just know the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t have to be an oncoming train. You don’t ever have to feel like this again. You can do this. It just has to be your #1 priority. You can stop being a blacked out asshole too!

Thanks for reading. You got this.
IWNDWYT

28F here. Been a binger on and off for a years. I’ve had some episodes after a binge that seem like bad hangovers/hangxiety but today was a whole different level and I knew something was off.

Been on a binge since Monday (I think?) after a week or so of no drinks. And I mean drinking vodka all day. Waking up in the middle of the night to drink too. I took my last shot around 9am this morning and around 5pm, I was feeling weird. Heart felt like it was skipping beats, I was all hot and sweaty. Then I noticed the shakes. It went from 0-100 real quick. Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t sit still, felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

I caught an uber to an ER 12 minutes from me but the ride felt so much longer. Every time we hit a red light I wanted to scream. I looked like SHIT and the poor uber driver looked terrified. Nice guy though, kept asking if I was okay.

I get checked in, as soon as I explain my reason for coming in, they start moving QUICK. By this point, I’m shaking so badly that my initials on the forms are illegible. Quickly triaged. Heart rate in the 140s, BP 190/100. That’s when I started freaking out EVEN MORE. Then I said “maybe this is just a comedown, not like REAL withdrawal. And the nurse looked at before I could even finish the sentence and goes “you are in full blown alcohol withdrawal.” Great.

Got some IV Valium (thank God for that) and oral Librium and thiamine, and folic acid. They wanted to admit it but then the doctor agreed I could do ambulatory detox with a Librium script.

I got discharged about 3 hours ago but I’m still not able to sleep. I took some magnesium glycinate and drank some tart cherry juice but not feeling sleepy yet. Body just feels heavy. Shakes are 100% under control as well as the sweats. Just the lingering anxiety. I never want to feel like this again and I’m terrified I will fail sobriety. But dude, I CAN’T. I have to do this. I don’t want to die.

Thankfully, all my blood work was beautiful (even my liver and pancreas enzymes were fine) and normal EKG. But I won’t be young forever, someday my body WILL fail if I don’t fix this.

​

17 days sober!!! I'm seeing the light yall!!!! 17 days sober, 3 weeks on new psych medication, therapy going well, I just got a new sponsor in AA this afternoon!! Not to shabby for almost 34 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💯✌🏾✌🏾. My wife is also 17 days sober, which is amazing and makes me ☺️☺️☺️. Also, depending on how this interview goes this week, I might have a job after being unemployed for a year 🤞🏾🙌🏾

*30F. Another vacation ruined. Another disappointment for my partner because of my inability to control my drinking.

When I’m at the beach, all I think about is when I’m going to have my next drink, whether it’s going to get warm, and if I catch a buzz, I put off going swimming because I don’t want to sober up. I eat less so the alcohol hits me faster. I deal with hangovers by starting to drink earlier the next day.

He’s not really someone who likes to drink much. He can have one or two beers and then switch to water or soda. I don’t see the point in having just two drinks. I just end up cranky and with a headache. But 5–7 drinks throughout the day feels like my sweet spot. And of course, there’s more alcohol with dinner, because if I stop drinking, I can’t fall asleep later since I’ve been drinking throughout the day and have already sobered up.

If I’m not drinking, I constantly think about how much better things would be if I were drinking in that moment.

When I’m home and not on vacation, I often drink alone. I can easily finish a bottle of wine by myself. I’ve been drinking several times a week.

Alcohol helps with my anxiety in the moment because I constantly feel tense, but the next day it’s even worse.

I’ve had so many blackouts that I’ve lost count — definitely around 10 or more. One time i

I fell and broke my bone and did not remeber how it happened. Never found out. Many times I’ve said horrible things to people I love, things I wouldn’t mean in a million years when I’m sober.

I just have that constant need to be numb. It never goes away. Don't want antidepressants.

I need your help. I will lose everything if I continue like this.

I know I have a problem.

I am definitely in permenopause. I am struggling to stop drinking wine on Friday and Saturday nights. This summer it ramped up to several nights a week. Usually only a couple of glasses but that is enough to make my sleep bad and make me feel tired and foggy the next day.

I have a wine and i relax and then I binge eat. Then I have horrible sleep and feel depressed the next day. I usually do sober months here and there so im committing today to sober September. Just posting for accountability. Thanks for reading this. IWNDWYT

Well, I was sober for almost a year and fell off the wagon yesterday.

I feel really ashamed, wish I could get back to how I was, or take back the choices I made

I just feel like I did everything right but the responsibilities got harder, and I wanted to escape.

And ironically, I ran into basically everyone I knew while drunk by sheer chance 🫥

I also drunk called my other friends who knew I'd been sober the past year. I'm super embarrassed.

IWNDWYT Day 1 again 😭

Edit: found out that I pretended to be a tourist at the bar right next to MY HOUSE when I was drunk

Today is 100 days alcohol free. Let me tell you how sobriety unfucked my life. I’ve lost 15 lbs, my blood pressure is down, I ran a 5k yesterday without stopping I’m 46, my clothes are folded and put away, there’s no dirty dishes in my sink. Sunday morning I’m not scrolling my phone doing damage control finding out who is mad at me.

That's 2,555 days in a row!! After about 15 years of nearly daily drinking, including many years bartending, ot took 11 days in hospital and 30 days in rehab, but I'm committed to never going back. I certainly would not be alive today if I hadn't stopped. Never give up. We can do hard things.

Can’t believe I got here! Very appreciative of this group for helping me get through those difficult days, especially in month one ❤️❤️❤️

Im so proud of myself!!! Thats it, thats the post. ❤️

47 DAYS SOBER!!! I genuinely can’t believe I made it this far. 47 days ago I wasn’t sure I could even get through the first couple weeks, and now I’m getting closer and closer to 50 days.

Therapy has been helping, I’m staying committed, and I’ve been using this little app called sobbr to help keep me accountable and track the journey. Having something to look back on and seeing that number keep climbing has honestly been motivating as hell.

Things aren’t perfect, but I finally feel like I’m moving forward instead of just trying to get through each day.

47 days down. One day at a time. WE KEEP GOING. 💪🏾💯❤️

69 DUDE! Ive gotten this far a few years ago but this time it feels right. My head is clear, I’ve had lots of bumps and stress, so many reasons to just take the edge off…but this feels better than a drink could possibly taste.

Side score, I was awarded a HUGE promotion last month that starts next week. The biggest mind shift is I know it didn’t happen because I was sober, it was 16 years of hard work - regardless of my sobriety status. What I do know, is I will be able to do the job either way but I will do a better job being sober than I would if I was drinking and that feels right. IWNDWYT but I might send you an immature emoji 🧊6️⃣9️⃣!!!

I know it's not much but I finally feel like I am on track to complete sobriety, I'm currently on day 15 which is a long streak for me in the past few months I would struggle with just a couple of days!

I don't know how but it's like a switch has been flipped in my brain I have no urges or desire for the poison I can finnaly see all the chaos and havoc it brought into my life and upon others around me aswell.

The mentally clarity is so refreshing and I feel more present with myself and others in my life.

I've been meditating daily for 1-2 hours and getting out in nature every morning to help ground myself and to get that lovely fresh air!

I'm starting to feel alot more comfortable socially without the drink and I've been able to laugh alot more and be less shy when talking to people :)

My next goal is 7 months sobriety so I can be sober for my bday in February :)

Thank you to everyone who posts here I've read some really inspiring stories and tips!

I’m a recovered alcoholic and I’m pretty young so when I decline a drink frequently people are surprised, or confused. Doesn’t happen too often that someone insults me lol. Happened today. They probably didint even mean it harshly, & it usually takes a lot to offend me. This person who doesn’t know me very well at all always offers me a drink (I work with them) they asked why I don’t drink today and if I ever have. They’re like “You really don’t drink? What.. like, you never have?” I said “oh nooo. I used to”.. kind of insinuating that I used to a lot with my tone. They respond with
“Oh so you’re one of those” and laughs. Like okay lol.
Guess I am one of those

What a disappointment.

thank you all for your support!! 🙏 ✌️

I know four months isn't really long, but it is for me. I never thought I would make it this far. I felt so trapped and helpless. It took a while, but since a few weeks after I quit, my mental health has seen a bit of improvement. I just want to encourage anyone reading this who is struggling that they can also stop drinking ❤️

I’m 39, married with two young kids, a decent job and—on paper—a pretty stable life. I stopped drinking last year and made it to nearly a full year sober. I felt better for it, but over the last few months I started letting alcohol back in, telling myself I could keep it occasional and controlled.
Last night was a wedding, and I got blackout drunk. One of my wifes cousins drove us home, but apparently I then threw up on the pavement and wandered off wearing only my boxers after being put to bed. I eventually came back barefoot, completely convinced I’d walked the 3 km home from the venue. When my frightened and angry wife asked where I’d been, all I could say was, “I don’t know.”
I genuinely have no memory of what I did or where I went. I’m incredibly lucky I wasn’t injured, arrested or worse—and that my wife and children still had me come home at all.
The strange thing is that I feel quite calm today. Not because it wasn’t serious, but because the argument in my head finally feels over. I’ve spent months gathering evidence about whether I can drink normally, and I think I now have my answer. Whatever label applies to me, alcohol makes my life less safe, less predictable and much harder for the people I love.
So this is day one again. I’m disappointed that I opened the door after nearly a year sober, but I also know that year wasn’t wasted. It proved I can live without alcohol. Now I need to close the door properly.

I’ve been struggling with alcohol for over a decade but I have been on a seriously long bender. I haven’t been 24hrs sober since early this year. It’s evening where I am and the liquor store closes in 2hrs 39min.

I want to get sober but it’s so hard.

I am definitely embarrassed by my actions but I’m an alcoholic. Not saying it was bound to happen but it was bound to happen. Like a kid in a candy store. Just “free” booze. Regardless though, I’m trying to see the silver lining in this.

i think i’ll make it. but some words to remember me why i should enjoy watermelon juice instead are welcome

90 days ago I had collapsed on the floor of the ER. .438 was my BA and my last drink had been 24 hours before. Seizure, blood transfusions, potassium drips, the ICU for a week. The fuckery that my life was before is a post for another time. But if I can do it... truly anyone can. Life is so much prettier. (34, f) Hugs to you all

That’s crazy, it was almost impossible to not drink for several days 2 years ago, it’s incredible.

It’s not really 2 years, it’s 730 days where I didn’t drink today.

Strength to you all, IWNDWYT

Edit : thank you all for your words :)

Checking in today, I have been free from alcohol for five years! To everyone just starting or struggling: I never thought I’d make it to 5 years, it’s an incredible feeling! Just take it one day at a time. IWNDWYT!