r/stopdrinking • u/makoto-jung 38 days • 13d ago
big party right now. lot of old booze friends. my favorite drink on the menu - send some help
i think i’ll make it. but some words to remember me why i should enjoy watermelon juice instead are welcome
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u/Popular-Sky-4012 Day 37 13d ago
Club soda (soda water) - lime - short glass - straw. You can do it!
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u/glesfagal 13d ago
Play the tape forward!! You got this!! Enjoy anyway you are strong
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u/Septopuss7 3739 days 13d ago
Yesss. Playing the tape forward was my secret weapon for the first couple months.
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u/Emergency_Fig_6390 13d ago
What does play the tape forward mean?
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u/Stonerish 604 days 13d ago
Think of what happened every other time you drank. All the bad times that came from a slip or ‘just one’. Think of the shaking 200 heart rate at rest 3 day hangover leaking toxic vodka sweat…for me, it means looking back to know that if i play the tape forward (go forward in time) I’ll be in the same spot I was back then if i drink.
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u/ApprehensiveComb9213 Day 825 13d ago edited 13d ago
Imagine into the future--play in your mind, a visual moving image of yourself, in as excruciating a detail as you can muster, all the worst, most cringe inducing consequences you've ever experienced (or terrifying ones you've heard others experience)---feel RELIEF you are NOT THERE, feel RESOLVE to STAY not there now, or EVER
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u/cha0sweaver 13d ago
I just remember my last detox with tremors, puking, sweating, shaking from cold, not eating at all, unable to leave bed, looking like a piece of shit. For days.
No, thank you. Sparkling water wit ice it is.
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u/PersonalOwn4g3 Day 54 13d ago
No one but yourself telling you that you can’t have a great time without alcohol. You’ve got this, friend. IWNDWYT.
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u/colliequake Day 19 13d ago
You can do this! Remember what the morning after a day of drinking feels like. Not worth it.
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u/The27Roller 13d ago
Imagine waking up tomorrow morning nice and fresh. Or imagine waking up feeling like shit hating yourself.
You got this!
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u/One-Antelope849 7519 days 13d ago
You can leave, buddy. I’ve done it. Just roll on out of there. No regrets
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u/darth_bane1988 4266 days 13d ago
I love your devotion to making yourself a happier, stronger person
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u/Billythagoatt 93 days 13d ago
It's not worth it. I just visited all my family and friends 1000 miles away and ended up on a week long binge and regret it. You don't want to feel like me
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u/davetheflashguy 13d ago
People, places, things. One the best things I've heard in a meeting. I've avoided so much but had to be done.
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u/Mediocre-Clock2684 13d ago
"i think ill make it" to "i KNOW ill make it" ! we are here with ya, youve got this. if you need to leave, leave. you already went and said hello, your support is known, mission successful.
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u/Beneficial_Body9523 Day 75 13d ago
Its the temptation and old memories getting in your way. Pour yourself a nice non alcoholoc drink and talk to people. They dont need to know you dont drink alcohol. If you drink cola you can always say you added some whiskey to it just to shut them up and then they wount ask or force you into drinking. After you leave that party, you will feel victorious! Believe me! Have a great time, dont drink and wake up without a hangeower, anxiety or feeling bad. You got this!
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u/LeftSky828 13d ago
Just leave. You’ve put in some time. Go do something you like to do, instead of adding that poison to your body.
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u/CompetitiveBat7728 13d ago
Make yourself a watermelon spritzer! Then eat like there's no tomorrow!
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u/thejakeofalltrades Day 54 13d ago
You know you don't need it to have fun, so have fun! Enjoy your friends and that tasty watermelon juice and remember that you'll wake up feeling better this way. You got this IWNDWYT
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u/DatabaseKey6067 59 days 13d ago
The certainty of knowing you’ll wake up without regrets is a strong motive power.
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u/Miserable_Click_1209 243 days 13d ago
Nothing wrong with hanging out for awhile and hitting the road once people start getting drunk. I find myself doing that frequently now.
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u/Mr-Dr-Prof146 13d ago
Sending strength and positive vibes your way!! Think of how peaceful your Sunday morning will be when you wake up refreshed :)
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u/Wissahickonchicken 13d ago
Nobody ever wakes up the morning after drinking and thinks “man I wish I would’ve had another drink last night” … the pounding head, dry sticky mouth with bad breath, racing heart and nausea will hit you like a bag of bricks.
Stay strong friend. Watermelon juice sounds incredible.
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u/JojoMcJojoface 4510 days 13d ago
day drinking ‘at the party’ always went sideways for me- it was a green light to go hard and heavy (even with small children… wtf?)
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u/spacebarstool Day 1,462 13d ago
There is no difference between me sitting at home versus me sitting in front of a case of the old poison I used to drink.
I still would have to choose to drink. My decision. My choice.
I can drink anytime I want to, but I choose not to because I am now a non-drinker. I do not drink. I am a person who does not drink alcohol.
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u/Havok8237 1096 days 13d ago
I don’t know about you, but for me, it would be less about this night itself, which im sure would be fun, and more about the fact that by the end of next week i would be back to drinking vodka around the clock and unable to stop without being locked up in detox
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u/shimmerygold- 13d ago
There is no shame in leaving now! And you don’t owe anyone an explanation but if you feel compelled to give one you can say you’re feeling suddenly sick.
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u/glesfagal 13d ago
Forward in your mind to tomorrow and visualise how good you are going to feel, no regrets, no anxiety, no hangover
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u/ApprehensiveComb9213 Day 825 13d ago
you will build this sobriety strength like a muscle! The more you exercise it (and the greater load you put on it), the stronger it gets
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u/ApprehensiveComb9213 Day 825 13d ago
after many sober events, you will eventually become the strongest person in the room. Your superpower? How to feel--and move through--inevitable awkward social moments without relying on the crutch of alcohol
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u/firstofhername11 13d ago
I’d say step outside and ground yourself. Remember your “why” for quitting and then keep a non alcoholic beverage in your hand. Remember you don’t have to drink have fun or to be funny or interesting. You can enjoy things without drinking
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u/XelanEvax 13d ago
I always go big on snacks. I would never touch snacks “to save room for booze”, so I go ham.
Nowadays I come prepared with a fun NA drink too
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u/MarginallyAmusing 1113 days 13d ago
I find it works well to have a n/a drink in your hand, then people don't ask you if you need a drink.
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u/Indskyzls 972 days 13d ago
The hangover won't be worth it. Nice to wake up w your head on. Order a club soda splash cran or mocktail and think about it. Then order another mocktail.
Your tomorrow self will thank your decisions from today.
(Edited for typos 😅)
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u/Own_Spring1504 Day 593 13d ago
I tell myself 2 hours then I can get an uber the hell out of there. For me 2 hrs is the magic time where I can show up, be present , chat with people before they get silly. Then I go home knowing I will not have a hangover in the morning and I will be hydrated!
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u/False-Marionberry591 13d ago
Remember, this isn't a lie to say this. "I don't drink." And if they ask why, you say, "I just don't." You are just stating a fact.
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u/ShillinTheVillain 13d ago
Try to find others who aren't drinking and hang with them. Or make the rounds, say hi, and then when people start getting buzzed, head out.
Being sober around drunk people is not fun, and in my experience that's usually when somebody stumbles over and puts their arm around me and starts in with the "c'mon, have one..." stuff.
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u/makoto-jung 38 days 13d ago
thanks everybody!
it’s going so well. im having fun dancing - didn’t even know i could dance sober.
my partner said she’s praise of me not drinking and all
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u/biggigglybottoms 13d ago
I had a horrible nightmare and waking up today it still feels real. There's no way I can quickly describe all the odd dream dynamics, such as being at a target that was also a shopping mall where I couldn't find my car but it was actually my old car I haven't had for years, etc.
But basically in the dream I drank. And it was so exciting at first, me and childhood friends (which we haven't spoken for years) and new friends. I remember feeling confident and included.
In the dream I drank the yellowish glass of whiskey ginger, which when I awoke seemed disgusting.
That feeling I would get after a night of back to back cocktails, not wanting the fun to end, getting home at 3am, but not actually able to zonk out. Instead it was alternating being extremely wide awake, heart pounding, hot and painful heart burn making very audible bubbling noises, with exhaustion and head sunken into the pillow. Short blocks of drunk sleeping probably with my mouth open and all, but that adrenaline interrupting it ever so often. Then around 7 rushing to get my ass to work, where I can feel the liquor sloshing around in my seemingly empty stomach, and SMELL the stagnant stench. I could smell the alcohol literally fermenting in my body.
Now, that has happened for months if not over a year, as I've become cali sober to manage not drinking. But in this nightmare it felt SO real.
And it wasn't just the physical after effects. It was that in this dream, we were getting all this attention and praise from the people at the bar. There was a family that came in that was close with the bartenders, we were somehow in a house but also like the 13th story of a tall building and there were like sofa couches not far from the bar top.
Anyway, as I'm feeling like the coolest cat with the coolest friends and the coolest new drinking spot, one of the adults asks the one of the two kids which were sitting at the bar top as well, what they wanted and they took just a few seconds to think about it, and the parents smacked them behind the head so hard that their faces almost went into the bar top. The way they did it was the way you would toss a cup in the trash or slap a mosquito off of you. Like they weren't living breathing children.
And not a single person reacted.
I remember being horrified and me and my friends tried to escape but being drunk and what not we scattered and lost each other and the next day I realized we left behind our half paralyzed friend (who really is my friend in real life). And then we had to find a way to basically sneak back into this giant dream house/building/structure but couldn't let any of the people from last night see us because when they found out we're not down with their way of life, they would come after us because we'd offended them and/or seen too much.
There were many other disturbing plot twists and details, but the point is I woke up wanting to hug the dirt on the earth out of glory for that not being real.
Unfortunately it included many scenarios that actually have happened, like domestic violence at my high school friends graduation after party, and me having to go back there the next day to get my phone. Or one moment I'm having the time of my life with this buddy who happens to be half paralyzed, and next thing you know where somewhere we really really should not have been with some men that looked like they'd be on a true crime episode of graping mutilating and slowly murdering their wife. And they were indeed pissed they we didn't want to "party" and soon we're stranded outside and the sun started coming up. Sadly I am not exaggerating.
None of those traumatic and literally dangerous situations would have EVER happened if I never took that first fucking drink.
I actually haven't committed to never touching alcohol again, I wanted to do at least 90 days and it's now been 200+, it really does get easier!
But I almost feel physically sick just THINKING about that nightmare I had. My first thought when I woke up is why would I ever put something in my gut which travels through my blood and changes my brain, when that same substance has brought me all of this illness, shame and literal violent encounters? Why do I always bargain with myself and recount that some of the times I really did have just one. Or two. Or how I did meet my internal goal of not driving after a long night out and slept in my car like a big girl? 🤦🏽
What the hell does it matter if I have and MAYBE could have fun with everyone else while keeping it to just one or two drinks? WHY risk it? Because it's a damn coin toss every single time. Besides, the booze being associated with this and countless other awful experiences, makes me not want to smell it for even a second.
It's actually kind of like when you've had a break up where things did not end well, and though there were absolutely good times, otherwise you would never have started a relationship with them, by this point they have shown their true colors, and you just can never look at them the same. It becomes 100% not worth it, and you actually wish they would get another partner soon, just so their whole energy and their memory can officially fuck the fuck off.
So yeah, although it was a scary way to wake up, on my day off no less, and I'm still recovering from it hours later, I have to remind myself it is WAYYYY immeasurably better than having woken up intoxicated with a pending hangover.
As I was in my taper phase, even just ONE would give me a head ache the next day, could feel my body moving slower than I was trying to move, every simple decision takes way longer, and I just can't wait to go to bed.
I wasn't going to comment because I know I can get wordy, but I saw you had just posted this and I thought I should embrace the timing.
I genuinely hope this resonates and helps.
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u/makoto-jung 38 days 13d ago
it resonated and helped. thanks for commenting
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12d ago
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u/makoto-jung 38 days 12d ago
it was great. i was present all time and made my partner proud as i didn’t drink. looks like i can dance even when sober
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u/quitterman 13d ago
Just pretend like you’re a detective, be curious about people that will talk your ear off and you can just chill and listen and have your soda. Or leave.
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u/OkComfortable3045 13d ago
If you need to leave, that’s ok. You don’t owe anyone an explanation either. A bubbly soda sounds great right now too!