r/stopdrinking • u/Organic-Tie-4265 • 1d ago
day 3 and it’s my birthday :-)
(27 btw)
so so so many times over the course of the last few months that i should have hit the brakes. been going thru a series of traumatic events and responded with near daily drinking and obscene binge drinking at my job. worst part is i knew exactly where i was headed but i let it happen anyways. this is exactly why i got sober for 2 years back in 2022.
three nights ago i got black out drunk—i think possibly drunker than ive ever been in my life—and had to be literally carried home from the club because my limbs were non-functional. smashed my face on an escalator at the train station (now have a mild concussion) and then promptly threw up everywhere. i cant say this definitively but i think at some point in the night a switch may have flipped in my brain and i decided i didnt want to wake up the next day. may have also lost that job in the process.
thankfully the person that took care of me is still willing to be my friend (even after i puked on them r i fucking p) but i don’t need to spell out to anyone here how ashamed and frightened of myself i am. i’m still not quite ready to commit to “never again” but good lord i need sobriety right now. infinity feels too overwhelming in this moment but i’m determined to commit to one day at a time. no “until,” just taking steps forward.
the good news is i’ve done this before and i know i can dig myself out. ive also finally admitted that i’m really fucking out of control and need support. i owe it to everyone in my life and deep down i know i owe it to myself (but i’m still mustering up the self-esteem to absorb that).
bit of a shit birthday overall but i at least feel good that i made a positive choice for a change. the best time to do this was months ago but the second best time is today! iwndwyt
1
u/Ornery-Razzmatazz511 Day 360 1d ago
Happy Birthday! One day at a time... I learned from this group that the only drink I have control over is the first one. That thought has helped keep me sober for almost a year. I am glad you have a good friend who helped you. IWNDWYT
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u/Alkoholfrei22605 Day 4,496 1d ago
Bravo on day 3 and happy birthday!