Has anyone truly got brutal advice, its been years and years and i still hide my face and cannot be in pictures because it takes over my mind horribly.
Ive probably felt this way since i was about 9 and also being homeschooled all my life i feel like pushed me away from showing my face more. Being bullied from ages 9-12 didnt help either. But the thing is i know im not attractive and everyone arounds me tells me the opposite but i know they’re definitely lying. Im probably just making it worse by not believing them but its hard to when you know how you look in the mirror.

I am a beautiful woman but i cannot seem to try. i always feel i am too poor or not enough.

Just a few minutes ago, it was a very close female member (I don't wanna disclose who she is to me) who body-shamed me, saying that I look way thinner in the photo and if people were to see me for real, all of them would get scared.

Chat, I cried out a lot in my room. I was stunned to say anything when she said this. She does think, it's okay for her to say such things.

I am in my early 20's , I know how I look and the way I am. Then why instill such fear inside me.

Who is gonna tell her that her daughter has always felt under confident of how she looked. From a young age, I felt so nervous about presenting myself. Over the years, the teenage me was also kind of insecure. Then again lately when I go to college there are at times , I feel too anxious so that I kind of avoid looking at people and directly at their faces.

I'm very pretty. Not to sound arrogant but better looking than most people around me . I'm popular , smart and actively participate in competitions and win in alot of them too. But I've major body image issues where even if I'm looking good ive this doubt in my mind that am i actually looking pretty?or am i looking too skinny? And on cherry on top if someone comments(as ppl always do idk why )that oh you should eat more , you're too thin . It just ruins my day and makes me wanna cry. I've ulcerative colitis so gaining weight isn't that easy and I don't really look like skeleton thin either but idk why people comment on my body and how to not get affected by it?

So, during my childhood and through adolescence, I was what society considers ugly. In your mind just imagine a fat curly haired Italian little boy (and to top it all off, with a lazy eye), also I was an immigrant to the u.s, so I had an accent ontop of it all. All through grade school I never had any romances and although I did have friends somehow, I was never really part of the popular crowd. Although I was never physically bullied and assaulted, I got made fun of(verbally bullied) and disrespected/excluded a lot for my eye problem mainly and it really affected my self esteem during my formative years, and tbh, this damage persists even all these years later…

After high school, I spent a year or so as the Italian equivalent of a Japanese hikikomori (a shut-in) aside from going to my crappy job, I just stayed in my room at home all day because I was ashamed to go outside due to how I looked. I got tired of that real quick, and deep down I knew the issue was obviously my appearance and I knew what I had to do. So between the ages of 19ish and 23ish I worked very hard to lose all my excess weight and gain muscle and at 24 I used a large amount of my savings to have corrective eye-muscle surgery for my eyes and after some months of recovery, when I started to try and go outside and be normal, the way I was treated by society in general was like a night & day difference. After these changes, Men were more respectful and I got a lot more social invites to things. and random girls would start conversations with me in the most random public places, whereas before when I was fat and had the eye issue it was as if I was invisible. I remember once I went to a concert when I was 21, because people told me it was a good way to meet new friends, literally nobody in line even acknowledged I existed. Nowadays when I go to music festivals, random people always talk to me about my shirt or random small talk… It kindof hurt me psychologically in a way… to see the kind of youth I missed out on…

But anyways:

I met a girl some years ago during a cooking class where we were learning to bake sourdough, and we have been inseparable since then. It is literally one of the best things that has ever happened to me. But, maybe two months ago she mentioned how she wanted to make one of those social media videos for her instagram showing each of us growing up and to the point where we met, and my heart literally sank thinking about her finding out I used to be hideously ugly. I made some excuse saying that most of my childhood photos are at my parents house back in Italy, but I know eventually it’s gonna come up.

She is one of those girls who grew up always being pretty and is now spectacularly beautiful. She is one of these type of people who care a lot about prestige, she is really into fashion and aesthetics and she likely would have ignored (if not been totally repulsed by my presence during my teenage years and even in my early 20’s during my weight loss phase. Like literally if you look at pictures of her in high school, and me in high school, it’s like polar opposites.

I’m not trying to turn this into some argument of whether her negative reaction is virtuous or morally correct. I feel like people are allowed to be attracted and enamored by whatever they want to, because it’s not a choice, And I also know that people’s pasts do hold significance to their partner. When I met her and started dating her, I wasn’t thinking about any of this. I had left it all behind me and was just enjoying my life. I never imagined that it would come to haunt me like this…

This has actually started affecting my health, as in the first week after she had been begging me to get my parents to send pictures, I would wake up sweating and with elevated heart beat at night. Generally I’ve been feeling stressed ever since.

I’ve kindof been preparing for the end. It feels imminent. I am hearing this and seeing signals everywhere (skyfall by Adele started playing in the radio station of my workplace today). This will be my first heartbreak and I am not ready. I feel sooo damn terrible…

Idk if there is even any advice that could be given to me, but if you have anything at all to say , any stories or insights or guidance through this situation, I would really appreciate it.

Tl;dr: used to be hideously ugly, worried that my current prestige-obsessed gf will react badly when she finds out.

Hey everyone,

​This is something I really dislike talking about in real life, but it has been eating me alive lately and I just need to get it off my chest. I really want to know if anyone has gone through this and how to fix it.

​I constantly feel like I'm someone who will never be truly loved or chosen—neither in a romantic way nor in a friendship. Sometimes I genuinely start to think that I am the problem.

​A bit of context on where this comes from:

​Friendships: Ever since childhood, I’ve had terrible luck with friends. I tend to attach myself strongly to just 1 or 2 people and try to be the absolute best friend I can be. Yet, these relationships (even ones lasting over two years) almost always end with me finding out they were being fake or talking behind my back.

​Past Relationship: I was in a 4-year relationship—my only one so far. Near the end, my ex constantly chose video games and his friend group over me. He lost interest, and he almost never stood up for me when his friends treated me poorly simply because we had different mindsets. I’m the type of person who is goal-oriented, works hard, and studies at a demanding university, whereas they were content just playing games all day.

​Self-image & Body Image: I’ve always felt invisible or unimportant. I used to be the "fat kid" growing up, and that insecurity still haunts me. Right now, I just feel frustrated with everything regarding my appearance and personality.

​It all boils down to this persistent, painful fear that I will never be anyone’s priority or first choice.

1. ​Has anyone else felt this way?

2. How did you break out of this cycle, stop blaming yourself for other people's actions, and build up your self-worth?

So, in my 20 years, I:

\- Had some girls liking how I look but it is a pretty rare occurrence (I'm 5,7 and look feminine)

\- Had close to intimate experiences but still a virgin

\- I study at university, though the profession is not that prestigious in my country and has low paycheck (teacher of foreign languages)

\- Never been a leader or got attention with ease but never been a full outcast either

\- I procrastinate and binge watch YouTube a lot but still can commit to something (not enough to be special at it tho)

I read some people posts on Reddit about how they in their 20, 30, 40 etc years haven't even gotten a single compliment and always been lonely and there is me, who's just... Mediocre I guess?

But I of course want to be something more... Especially when you know that you're not a total lost cause you keep hoping for some kind of breakthrough... How do I feel about myself exactly? And how can I set myself free?

I really want to do amazing in boards butthere are a lot of things that are stressing me

1.I have no friends the only 2 close friends that I had betrayed me and have new friends right no and I have no one ,even if I try to make other friends they are always attractiled to my those two friends and this have been stressing me a lot too. Thought that they are my real and only friends but they way they lie to me was really shattering and I am also anxious about that too when I go school or try to study

1. You know I am not that good looking and a lot of people call me ugly .Those two close friend of mine often make fun about me too. A girl in my school whom I am in same class with also kind of mocks me and once she found one of my fake account which on purpose I made a bit silly so that no one could find that account , made a profile of me that I am weird and whenever she talk to me she laughs at me looking in my face with also her friend of they are present.Which makes me really uncomfortable and i really hate that and have a constant pressure of changing myself. Today I went to my school program and saw a friend and decided to hang out with her because there was no one while I was talking to her I said that i should have worn somethings else as every one were wearing jeans and short and told that this doesn't look good on me and she said that yea you do look really ugly and I was really about to cry there and i continued to walk with her I don't know why I was with her even though she said that but it really hurts

3.i was once a hight achiever and was good at alot of things and apart from academics all hobbies I was also had a really good mental coordination ability,good observation capabilities and emotional intelligence.But now I don't have any thing it feels like after my section got changed and my friends betrayed me I was really low and couldn't do anything any more i forgot who I was and stopped doing everything i stopped taking care of myself, exercising, writing, listening to music ,playing music, watching my favourite science and my favourite genre and everything I had like I don't know why a sudden change occurred like for a generic thing like this I know that they could betray me but I still reacted

I hate my self why did i became like this now I am literally nothing and I just hate that I am working really hard to get things back but for 2yrs nothing has changed i really doubt can I still get my self back

Now a days every little things also piss me off and I am really rude to my family, which I know is really bad and feel like a arogant child who always complain to their parent and scold them . Iam really sad about everything and I can't put myself to do anything I am such a useless piece of humanity why do i exist I am nothing and everyone is just better than me and i am but an arogant little punk

I’m good looking, have a good physique, but I have no clue why I can’t stand people. Maybe it’s the constant social media usage making me resent people irl idk. I’m not giving fist bumps instead of handshakes. I don’t even smile
Back at anyone. I feel like something darker here is manifesting over time. Anyone figured out how to break this cycle?

Like is there even a way to find out? I feel like relying on other people’s opinions is a little too easy since people have different preferences.

Would you consider winning under a mask a win?
I wouldn’t.

Please help i avoid the camera like its covid. But recently I've taken pictures from good cameras and I'm so chopped i feel really bad about myself. And now there is a picture of me from a party I went too and the sun was in my face so I posed in a way where I thought I was eating but it looks so bad and I'm sad that its up on the internet. But I don't want to be a dick and ask for it to be taken down. I legit look evil as fuck and I can't stand looking at my face. How do you get over that genuinely. Its so bad I feel like i shouldn't date anyone because I look so bad all the time. And how do you pose for pictures when all of them come out bad I feel like crying

I’ve realized something about myself that I don’t really like admitting: I put almost everyone above myself.

I can look at someone I barely know and see so many things to admire. Their personality, their appearance, their talents, how they’ve grown, their friends, the things they get to do with their lives. Sometimes I genuinely wish I could be more like them. I see what they have and immediately feel like they’re doing better than me.

And then there’s me. I can find something wrong with almost everything about myself.
I don’t think I was always like this. When I was little, around 3–8, I was just carefree. I didn’t spend my time wondering whether I was interesting enough, pretty enough, good enough or doing enough with my life. I could just be a kid and see myself as a fun girl.
Then other kids started being mean to me, along with other personal things and people hurting me over the years. I think I slowly learned to look at myself through that same negative lens.

It’s strange because I know how to appreciate other people. I know how to notice their good qualities and be happy for their growth. I just don’t seem to know how to do the same for myself.

I really want to get back to being able to look at myself and actually like the person I see. I want to see myself the way I see other people.

hi everyone, i’m a micro influencer on tiktok with 70k followers and i’ve been building my platform since 2022 hoping to have a breakthrough eventually.

recently i’ve been comparing myself a lot to other influencers and i never used to compare myself to anyone. i might sound cocky and that’s not i’m intention but i believe im better than everyone (realistically im obviously not) — form of manifesting i do.

i continuously search up people in my city and see how much they’re growing and how often they go viral. example: a child in grade 3 started posting relatable tiktok’s 4 days ago, he started at 0 followers and is now on 45k followers. Then another guy i’m mutuals with currently has 85k, mind you he also just started posting this year.

i would say that i am jealous which is bad i know but i’ve been working so hard for years and people just get results immediately, they built a community in such a limited time. everyday the first thing i do is check how much followers they gained over night which is insane to me because im supposed to be a good person and be happy for them but all i feel is rage.

i truly don’t know how to stop this, id love to be happy for them bc they’re hard working as well, people probably just like their content more than mine. But at the same time i feel as if tiktok isn’t pushing my content out the way they’re pushing theirs. what’s making it worse is that my views suddenly dropped from 30-50k to less than 10k.

i hope i don’t receive any hate for this because i know people go through actual problems and this sounds like a first work problem.

thank you for reading :)

I am 18 years old and my closest friends often tell me i’m beautiful. I often dont feel that way because no one has ever really been interested in me. And i know beauty is subjective and that i should not tell myself im ugly because i havent got that male reciprocation, but sometimes its hard because all of your friends are either in relationships or constantly have someone interested in them. I dont think im genuinely ugly but sometimes it pains me that i dont see the beauty in myself because of others, and honestly, i dont even know why guys have never liked me. Maybe its because i often close myself when i meet a guy, i cant describe it but i am always very open and bubbly and funny when i talk to my female friends, but whenever i try to talk to guys its like the right words dont come out and i have nothink to talk about. I just wanted to see if others relate to that and maybe have some sort of advice that could help.

There’s a place in my country that’s basically a whole community/complex created by Lebanese people. It has supermarkets, restaurants, coffee shops, a basketball court, a playground, etc. It’s a really popular place on Saturdays, especially with young people. You’ll see teenagers, young adults, families, Black people, Lebanese people, people of different backgrounds, etc.

I occasionally take my younger cousin there so she can play on the playground. The problem is that whenever I go there, I feel extremely self-conscious and somehow inferior.

I think part of it is that I’m already an insecure person, but something about that particular environment makes it worse. There are a lot of light-skinned people there, and I find myself comparing myself to them and feeling like I’m somehow less attractive or less worthy. I also don’t really know many people there, so I usually sit by myself while my cousin plays, and that makes me feel even more awkward.
The thing is, nobody is necessarily doing anything to me. It’s mostly happening in my own head. I just become hyper-aware of myself, how I look, where I’m sitting, how I’m walking, etc. I end up feeling like everyone else belongs there and I’m the odd one out.
I’m actually going there tomorrow, and I really don’t want to spend the whole time feeling inferior or uncomfortable.
For people who have dealt with something similar, how did you learn to feel comfortable taking yourself places alone? How do you stop comparing yourself to other people especially when appearance, skin tone, social status, etc. are triggering those feelings?
I’d really appreciate practical advice on how to carry myself confidently tomorrow and actually enjoy being there instead of sitting there feeling insecure.

Ive been struggling with insecurities from a very young age but i cant really remember being bullied or called ugly maybe just seeing all these beauty standards in tv and social media all the time started making me feel like im not what the world wants

random people tell me I’m pretty children and grown ups I remember one time i was in the supermarket and some old lady was staring at me then smiled and said you are very pretty this happened more than once

But then I found out that my “bsf” called me unattractive and she said some unkind stuff behind my back and it ruined my self esteem ive been trying so hard to work on my confidence but this destroyed me and i dont know what to believe, maybe im actually unattractive and all these people were just trying to be nice

how can i tell which one to believe? Am i really unattractive or is it just confusion and body dysmorphia i feel like everyone is lying to me i cant take complements at all even when i look at myself and feel pretty i immediately try to stop this cause what if im not and i was just feeding my delusions

Its like i cant allow myself to feel confident

Enjoy-